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Hello my darlings,

This is my first post so please have mercy, I have read the rules and shall endeavour to stick within the boundaries of politeness. Notwithstanding though, one can't avoid the demands of a certain nature.

Now... don't pretend you've never considered it whilst painting your models or perusing through the fluff. We've all been there where our eyes glaze over and we ponder what it might be like to go on a hot date with one of the Warhammer characters.

The first time I realised I had a er, problem, was a few weeks ago when I was chatting to a chap in a Games shop. He was quite enthusiastic about one of the pretty commissar models and brought it up on the computer screen to show me. Upon seeing the fair maiden on a larger scale I was obliged to agree with him.

Dear forum, am I alone in this predicament or are there others who share my fate? Who does it for you? Are Space Marines with their rippling muscles to your taste or do you prefer hairy dwarf ladies? How about the followers of Slaanesh with their multiple, uh... their big claws? Or maybe you prefer the Sisters of Battle with their white hair and shining armour? How about a rat-man or one of those goblin ladies? I always wondered how one would go about seducing an ork or ogre. Perhaps that should be part of the discussion too? More cognac m'dear?

Naturally we should remain in good taste, if that is at all still possible, so nothing too risque or obscene.

Who would you choose to go on a date with, and how would you go about wooing them?

P.S. should I seek professional help?

~Raffles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X53ZSxkQ3Ho

Shockingly, I have actually never considered it while painting my various different chaos & tyranid armies over the years.

Maybe if I ever got this gal from Forge World...

Now... don't pretend you've never considered it whilst painting your models or perusing through the fluff.

Got to say, I haven't.

I honestly feel that despite Slaanesh and Morathi & Malekith, the Warhammers & related games feature almost aggressively sexless settings.
The posterboy faction for hedonism amounts to 'shouting really loudly in disharmony'

Commissar Yarrick.

Final Answer.

I heard lady Olynder has a smile to die for.

Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka!

Wait, what was the question?

Voss wrote:

Now... don't pretend you've never considered it whilst painting your models or perusing through the fluff.

Got to say, I haven't.

I honestly feel that despite Slaanesh and Morathi & Malekith, the Warhammers & related games feature almost aggressively sexless settings.
The posterboy faction for hedonism amounts to 'shouting really loudly in disharmony'

I think that is part of what makes it so appealing; dealing with a constant barrage of TITS BEWBS BUTT TITS getting something where such elements are far between and not even as bad is refreshing. Looking at the most sexualized army of the warhammers (Daughters of Khaine) the sense of 'this is a pin-up to draw attention' falls behind 'she is going to stab me and cut out my heart for blood rituals' (at least in my eyes). After that I would say Sisters of Battle for the egregious boob armor, but at least they are fully clothed (repentia don't count!).

 Vaktathi wrote:
Commissar Yarrick.

Final Answer.

Is it an elderly thing, or a fisting thing?

*Power. Fisting*


In terms of a semi-reality, a sister repentia. They’d likely be disappointed, so could serve as a penance, and who wouldn’t like to be electro-whipped by an authority figure while doing the nasty? Win-win.

Seduce,,,, um no but while building some space wolves last night, I noticed a tasty looking axe and thought I’d love to have one like that to split heads with but I was also drinking mead at the time.....

Is this where I post my Gotrek and Felix erotica? This feels like where you post my Gotrex and Felix erotica.

 Laughing Man wrote:
Is this where I post my Gotrek and Felix erotica? This feels like where you post my Gotrex and Felix erotica.

please do.

but only if it is well written *

 Laughing Man wrote:
Is this where I post my Gotrek and Felix erotica? This feels like where you post my Gotrex and Felix erotica.

Is it on par with the misadventurers of the Lusty Seraphonian Maid?

Plenty of lovely women in the Warhammer universes - some who one might even survive the experience:

Top five.

Amberley Vail - blonde, gorgeous, powerful, a good sense of humour and a decent singer.
Neferata - beautiful, deadily and with a bevy of nearly as beautiful handmaidens
Morathi - Seduction is one of her skills
Genevieve Sandrine du Pointe du Lac Dieudonné - clever and witty as well as lovely.
Naamia - the cat like vampire favourite of Neferata - she is also relatively gentle and likes to leave her lovers alive.

Grit incarnate, the man who invented manliness, the motherstomper who dies standing, General freaking Sturnn.

He's from dawn of war but nevermind.

One of the things I like about GW is that they have never been into cheesecake. Some characters are highly sexualised in the backstory but the hobby doesn't have that dynamic.
The cheesecake is inherent to Warmahordes in particular.

Morathi has a hundred times the sexuality, and perversion of any Privateer Press bimbo, but the game comes across as less immature.

To be frank I dont see much miniature porn in almost anything GW makes, not even Witch Elves and Dark Eldar, because as a whole it lacks the cheesecake dynamic.

Pardon me my ignorance... What do you call "cheesecake"?

 Maréchal des Logis Walter wrote:
Pardon me my ignorance... What do you call "cheesecake"?

It is pretty subjective, but often has to deal with the presentation of a miniature with some sort of sexual characteristic. If that characteristic is the focus of the miniature rather than a detail of the miniature, the miniature is cheesecake. Again, it’s really subjective.

An example I’ll give is a WM caster named Sorscha: she is wearing pants and a long, thick coat yet manages to show more buttock than some dark elves. Leilith Hesparax is wearing a metal bikini, but instead of being sexy it contributes to her look as a dangerous psycho dark eldar; the focus is on her athleticism and violence.

Cheesecake miniatures are often posed more to show off their bodies or their femininity/masculinity than their combat ability. Sometimes a mini is sculpted oozing both sexuality and violence, in which case the sculptor has either captured the character’s personality or surpassed the usual boundaries of cheesecakery. It’s all a big, confusing blur.

In the spirit of this thread, I imagine a cheesecake mini would appear to lend itself more to seductive gratification than to horrific fates worse than death.

Lotarra sarrin.

 queen_annes_revenge wrote:
Lotarra sarrin.

I feel like this has to go with some terrible pun in the sheets with a final scream of "FIRE THE URSUS CLAWS"

I wouldn’t date or seduce any Warhammer character. Physically, I tend to follow the Ruby Rhod school of escalation, and once you get past 6th, 7th base you’re firmly trapped in Slaaneshy damnation.

No one's said Yvraine yet? Oh well, Guilleman probably let her impossible for any other man to ever satisfy anyway...

 Grimskul wrote:

 queen_annes_revenge wrote:
Lotarra sarrin.

I feel like this has to go with some terrible pun in the sheets with a final scream of "FIRE THE URSUS CLAWS"

Haha! She's probably one of the most 'strong woman' characters in BL. Talking back and mouthing off to Angron and kharn, shooting Delvarus in the face for insolence then sending him to his room. She's a bad MF.

 queen_annes_revenge wrote:

 Grimskul wrote:

 queen_annes_revenge wrote:
Lotarra sarrin.

I feel like this has to go with some terrible pun in the sheets with a final scream of "FIRE THE URSUS CLAWS"

Haha! She's probably one of the most 'strong woman' characters in BL. Talking back and mouthing off to Angron and kharn, shooting Delvarus in the face for insolence then sending him to his room. She's a bad MF.

Yeah, she's definitely one of the better written female characters, especially in 30k, who are largely in short supply given the focus on the primarchs and their sons.

Anyone think of cultistchan?

 Matt Swain wrote:
Anyone think of cultistchan?

Now that's real heresy, please go to nearest Inquisition booth for reconditioning.

I think the Callidus Assassin is pretty sexy. And I don't even have a latex fetish

If you don't want to get seriously smashed by her there's something wrong with you...



FUNNY STORY HERE: A friend of mine saw this and asked what th burning things on her back were. I said it was a power plant for her power armor.

He said "WHAT armor?"

There’s a significant difference between thinking a person looks sexy and a person is desirable for seduction. If you don’t yet know the difference, you’ll learn. Oh boy will you learn.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
You see how haphazard she is with her armor. Can you imagine how she loads the dishwasher?