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After losing all my documents yesterday, I finally finished it and sadly my lap top died with all my chapters of the Ice Angels, I am greatly impressed, thank god i keep back ups!
Can't wait to read more

Orks grow from spores which settle on planets, that is what makes them an infestation, after an ork invasion, there are still tribes of feral orks due to some spores "hatching" late.

The spores also I believe first grow into squigs and grots so that the orks that are coming will already have food and slaves.

Interesting! I guess that means no ork chicks then. I find it surprising that they aren't the most peaceful society in the galaxy if thats the case.

I did go through and check out my various space marine codices and the imperial guard codices. They are indeed techmarines and techpriests, ultimately they are very similar but that'd be like calling a marine a normal soldier. Moving forward that will be corrected and if I ever move backwards I will correct it then as well.

On a random side note, any one going to GenCon?

The rumble of the ship was unsettling. Inushi shifted in his large bucket seat as the ork transport continued to shake. The moment Philosir had activated the thrusters, Inushi felt as if he was about to crash. The more the feeling of doom filled the back of his mind the more he got angry at Aquilum. The yellow and pink armored marine sat across from him grinning like a fool. Inushi chuckled at the simple thought. Aquilum, one of the Emperor’s Fools, as he called himself sat on the same vessel, going through the same stress and dealing with the same Imperial hypocrisy. Thinking back to his own foolish actions that led him this situation, Inushi leaned against the metal seat. The advice of Darius Stone, his mentor, seemed like ancient history.

“Feel better?” Aquilum asked.

Inushi didn’t respond, instead he reached up and removed his helmet. A lock of black hair fell in front of his eyes as he stared down at his helmet. The green helmet was a standard Mantis Warrior helm, its slight insectoid lines and larger eye lens gave it a menacing visage. It had several new scratches from recent battle but as his sight slowly crossed the floor he saw Aquilum’s torn up armor and realized how well he had managed.

Aquilum’s armor was dented and missing a lot of paint. After his last run in with an ork mega dread he had had to replace his chest piece. The action was so recent he hadn’t had time to paint it. The matte gray of the base coat made the pink and yellow from the rest of his armor look even more ridiculous.

“You are being awfully quiet as of late Inushi, something on your mind?”

Quiet? Inushi hadn’t realized it but after he boarded this vessel he hadn’t spoken a word to Aquilum.

“Seriously? The silent treatment? Should I tell you a joke or something?” Aquilum badgered him.

“EMPEROR NO!” Hunzuu yelled from several seats away. “Your jokes are atrocious.”

Reven and Pyrox chuckled at the response as Aquilum continued to grin and watch Inushi.

With measured control Inushi began to softly speak. The rumbling of the ship seemed to subside as Inushi spoke and despite their super human senses the other marines leaned in to listen.

“When I was a mere scout learning the ways of the astartes, my master gave me a piece of advice that greatly influenced me.”

Inushi waited and looked around; Aquilum opened his hands and shook his head in agitation at the dramatic pause.

“What was the advice?”

“Don’t talk to pink and yellow marines.” He responded.

Reven, Pyrox, Hunzuu and Shar-drasha burst into laughter as Aquilum’s grin returned.

As the laughter subsided the others began to talk amongst themselves. Slowly Inushi leaned forward and spoke directly to Aquilum.

“An important step to learning is understanding what you already know.”

Aquilum’s grin slipped away as he thought on the statement.

“What then, do you know?” he asked.

“I understand my enemies, their strengths and their weaknesses. I have trained to deal death and avoid it in nearly every condition. I know how to serve the Emperor and have done so my entire life. I have seen the power that has been granted from that faith.” He looked back down to his helmet. “Yet here I am on a ship headed towards some outpost, monitoring a chapter that I haven’t heard of before, alone and away from my kin. All because an Inquisitor told me I had to. All because I spoke my mind on the Iron Torch.”

With that he set his helmet down on the empty seat to his right and stared into the eyes of the bald headed marine across from him.

Aquilum stared back, waiting. Eventually he spoke.

“Sounds like you need to listen to your mentor a bit more then.”

A shocked look crossed Inushi’s face. “How so?”

“You are only concentrating on one aspect of your mentor’s wisdom. You know many things,” a huge grin crossed Aquilums face,”but it sounds like you don’t know how to shut up.”

Inushi gave him a disapproving look.

Aquilum continued to grin as he looked around for a moment before speaking again, “Are you trying to keep your mouth shut from now on? That’s fine, gives me more opportunity to talk.” Aquilum opened his arms and spoke louder.” Besides, if you hadn’t spoken your mind you wouldn’t have been able to meet me and seen this lovely part of the universe.”

Inushi rolled his eyes as Aquilum chuckled once again, maybe silence was a better option.

Man, a week an no responses. That bad huh? lol, may have to look this one over again.

I know I responded to this Ice, right after you posted it... must have been some hiccup in one of my systems that resulted in it not making it to dakka.

I absolutely love the part up to "the punch line" and the two lines thereafter (i.e. when the laughter settles down). I actually did laugh out loud at the very funny comment which I wasn't expecting as if I was sitting there in the ship with the marines.

The next bit is fine up until Aquilum says "What then, do you know?". After that... it get's kind of fuzzy. I know what you're trying to do... it just doesn't quite get there. For example: I don't think Inushi would answer that question in such broad generalities given the circumstances. So he might say... "I know I have served the emperor faithfully my whole life. I know that speaking the truth in defense of that faith is a punishable offense. I know that the might of the Astartes is nothing when compared with the power of Imperial bureaucrats, which is exactly why the Mantis Warriors fought and were exiled in the first place."

Something like that would show a bit more cognitive progression towards the current situation and give you a lot more options for the ensuing interaction between Aquilum and Inushi.

Just some thoughts... sorry my original attempt to answer didn't reach you.

Hmmm, I see what you mean. I like what you came up with but I think I may have to fix more then just what Inushi says.

Thanks for the info though, gives a good idea where to focus my attention.

I'm sure you'll do wonders with any re-writes Ice. Not much in the way of comments though as you mentioned... guess the MW's don't spark the imagination of your readers.

Yggdrasil wrote:As for GenCon... Could you write a list or a summary of the important traps to avoid? Recently I've tried beginning some fluff for my chapter, but I've started at least a dozen times from 3-4 sides of the story, and I just seem to drown myself in useless ramblings & details... So any trick might prove really helpful!

YGGS! had another one of his marvelous responses that I thought I would elaborate here instead of on my P&M thread. To reiterate what I was talking about before. I was at GenCon and I went to a writing seminar and I took some great notes that Yggs wants me to share. SO here is a list of some of the things that I plan on working on and that I think others may benefit from seeing. Some of these I think I already do well but others I shall try to focus on.

Key points to focus on:

Characterisation: focus on getting readers engaged, get the readers involved, get them to feel for your characters, both the good and evil. You need to have something that readers can relate too.

POV: point of view, don't bounce from one point of view to another in the same paragraph or chapter. Each chapter can be from another view but not more often then that.

Ask the character: don't have the character do something they wouldn't normally do just to fit your story. Ask the character, what would you do?

Characters must grow not change: This one is a bit hard to explain but the general idea is that the characters need to learn and your story needs to show that. A lot of emphasis was put in this and I think this is something I tried to convey in my Inushi scene but didn't pull off successfully. This is one that I will try to concentrate on.

World building: Don't over explain, you should be able to give your readers everything they need about your world in two paragraphs. This one isn't as important in a blog dedicated to 40k, but I think it still applies. The 40k universe is so large that whatever you write you need to at least give a blurb that explains your specific world/universe your in.

Deal with character consequence: that one explains itself.

Be careful with to much narrative: Tell the trivial, show the significant. If some one is late to the battle don't focus on why their late, show them what happens because of it. This is another one I want to pay a bit more attention too.

Technical details: I think I do fairly well with this one, but the author that spoke gave an example of dirty harry asking, "do you feel lucky?" Count your bullets! Keep track of the dead. That kind of stuff if wrong can really set off your readers.

And for the grand finally, this is one that I will try to pay more attention too.

Sentence length: An average sentence should be about 12 words.



In total he gave a lot of great suggestions with some amazing examples. I didn't post all of them but summarized and posted the tips that I thought best fit me and my fluff. I hope this helps any other writers out there that read this. Please let me know how you feel.

This thread is my own personal writing adventure and as you can see I am always looking for tips and suggestions. If you read any of my fluff I would love to see what you have to say.

Yggs let me know if that helps!

Well, thanks Ice!

Honestly, though I had wanted to do it, I've never found the time to delve into your fluff page... But I don't go into that area of the forum, so it's not against you! And, as I've read so many positive comments about your writing, I'll probably get to readi it someday...

I didn't know I could make "marvelous responses", but... whatever.

As for the tips, I think my main problem is ... are... well, pretty much all of them except Technical details, I'd say!!!
More seriously, Sentence Length, World Building & Be Careful with Too much Narrative are the ones. That's why I start a lot of things, then tell myself "Wow, how boring", scrap it & start again, to the same extent...

If you have time for some other tips & examples , that'd be nice!!!

If it helps, I say it first outloud, then see if it makes logical sense and the structure of their conversation makes sense.

If you have a drama friend, try having him take the perspective of one of the characters and roleplay how they interact.

Yggdrasil wrote:Well, thanks Ice!

Honestly, though I had wanted to do it, I've never found the time to delve into your fluff page... But I don't go into that area of the forum, so it's not against you! And, as I've read so many positive comments about your writing, I'll probably get to readi it someday...

I didn't know I could make "marvelous responses", but... whatever.

As for the tips, I think my main problem is ... are... well, pretty much all of them except Technical details, I'd say!!!
More seriously, Sentence Length, World Building & Be Careful with Too much Narrative are the ones. That's why I start a lot of things, then tell myself "Wow, how boring", scrap it & start again, to the same extent...

If you have time for some other tips & examples , that'd be nice!!!

Now that you have so much time in Anywheristan, I recommend you read my fluff. However, there is something you need to know. My first few posts are terrible. I realize this but it makes me feel better to see the improvement, so as you read along you too can appreciate the effort that I put forth to improve!

As for more tips, I refuse to give out grammatical advise because that is by far my weakest link. I could probably help out with the world building. I've certainly created enough over the years running various campaigns and games for all different kind of formats.

Here is a tip for you Yggs. Bare with me here it may take a minute to explain. All stories can be broken down into percentages that may help you figure out what you like to read. The three general groups that encompass these percentages are. Heart, Head, and Hand. You have your emotions, your puzzles, and your action. Some people love to read stories like the Twilight series which is all emotion with a tiny bit of action and virtually no puzzles. Others love epic stories like Lord of the Rings that are full of huge action scenes, with a smattering of emotions, and a handful of puzzles. Most 40k readers love the full on action of many of the novels, or the in depth intrigue and puzzles of the heresy for example.

Next time you read something you've written, if you find yourself becoming bored. Ask yourself why. Be more analytical and it will help guide you to find that missing piece that your story is missing.

I got an idea Yggs! Write something and let us see it! I like that idea.

WarOne wrote:If it helps, I say it first outloud, then see if it makes logical sense and the structure of their conversation makes sense.

If you have a drama friend, try having him take the perspective of one of the characters and roleplay how they interact.

Good call WarOne! For me I find myself often rereading what I've written but until I vocalize it my mind reads what it thinks should be there. My mind doesn't read what is REALLY there until I force it to slow down and sound it out. Does that make sense or am I crazy? It's a good thing these posts don't include sound files other wise you'd hear all of the terrible voices I use for the marines in my stories, lol.

Cool! More then 10,000 views. Not bad for some home brew fiction.

After a slow deep intake of air Inushi ended his meditation. While his eyes were closed he ran through the ancient Mantis Warrior rites of awakening. He breathed through his nose assessing the various scents of marines and machine. He listened to the strange rumble of the vessel he was aboard and the sounds of his fellow astartes. The deep rasp of Pyrox, the cavernous inhales of Aquilum, and the near silent wisps of sound from Reven told him they still sat in the same positions. Slowly he opened his right eye. Then he opened his left. Without moving his head he examined his surroundings. The three marines nearest to him all appeared relaxed, deep in reverie, despite the upcoming mission.

Far to his left near the door to the bridge sat Hunzuu and Shar-drasha. Both sat straight up against the wall and wore their helms. They sat across from each other with their hands resting on their weapons. Unlike the other marines the two Ice Angels appeared like traps ready to spring.

With a prayer in his mind Inushi slowly began to stretch out his limbs. He worked his neck, arms, and then torso before stretching his legs and standing up. Throughout this process the other marines awoke and started their own awakening rituals, all except Aquilum. He continued his own deep trance. Inushi cracked a smile as he noticed that even in his meditative state Aquilum’s mouth was twitching as if he was about to speak.

Inushi stepped away from the other marines to an open cargo area next to the exit ramp. The area was large enough for several bikes to park next to each other, but not large enough for a rhino. In this space he drew his katana. He held the hilt of the weapon in his right while resting the blade in the palm of his left. Along the blunt edge were the names of its previous owners, Inushi read each one before stopping at the last name, Darius. He thought back to his mentor for a moment before returning to his inspection.

The blade edge was still razor sharp but marks marred the blades ridge. He thought back on the recent battles with the orks. He envisioned the movements of his blade and concentrated on the attacks or parries that resulted in damages.

The light steps of a marine ended his concentration. Inushi turned around to see Reven approaching. The red armored Blood Angel stopped a few steps away and looked at Inushi’s blade.

“That is a marvelous blade Inushi. “ Reven spoke as he adjusted his auburn hair. ”It looks like it has a history.”

Inushi returned to his sword, “It does indeed. There are only a few blades with a history as long as this one left in my chapter.” His gaze returned to the last name on the sword. “Some day I will add my name to its edge and pass it to a new member of the chapter after they have passed their rites.” His words trailed off as the weight of these missions returned to him.

Reven smiled and placed a hand on Inushi’s shoulder. “I’m sure you will.”

Inushi looked into the deep blue eyes of Reven and for once realized how ancient the Blood Angel must have been. They weren’t the vibrant eyes of an initiate or the focused eyes of a trooper, they were the eyes of a commander. For a moment Inushi wanted to ask Reven a hundred questions, but the ork vessel momentarily shook before the engine noise died down.

An emotionless voice echoed in all of their voxes, “Suit up.”

Reven removed his hand and smiled as he reached down for his yellow helmet. Inushi watched the Blood Angel walk away and he realized how little he knew of the venerable marine. With a steel hiss Inushi sheathed his blade, locked it in place, and hooked his helmet on his head. He looked at the marines checking their gear and he vowed that he would learn more about them all. He may not have a lot of time left to do so.

Like that last part, though I still haven't read the beginning, hence holes in the story (are they in an Ork Krooza or something?)

Ha, don't bother, I'll read it eventually, anyway... I told you I would.

Only one nitpick, Reven has dark hair on the model. If you want to have it blond and

Or even add something else, its up to you
Great read Ice

Battle Brother Lucifer wrote:Only one nitpick, Reven has dark hair on the model. If you want to have it blond and

Spoiler:

Have it get dirty after he loses his helmet or something

Or even add something else, its up to you
Great read Ice

Maybe his geneseed has been corrupted by Tzeentch, and the symptom his that his hair changes colour ?

I have to go through this entire thing one day.

Of course, when my 40,000+ word story is over, that may be a good time.

Inushi will be in another fluff piece soon on the Swap Fiction Thread.

Not yet. Have to kill other marines first.

Excellent work Ice (sorry for the delay in responding, work has been hell for the last two weeks). I can really see your writing classes coming through in the quality of your work. The narrative is dramatic, engaging, filled with tension but not the kind you see in a battle... kind of a "calm before the storm" thing. Love it. The interpersonal dynamic is what always interests me the most (if you can't tell from the couple of little bits that I've written).

At least there's one person on this earth writing really good fiction about the Mantis Warriors! (OK, just one mantis warrior.)

Do you mind if I quote it on my MW blog?

@Yggs - Yes you should go and read everything! But to summarize the most recent events a small group of marines took an ork krooza to infiltrate an old imperial outpost that is now over run with orks.

@Battle Brother Lucifer- OMG! You are correct. I will have to fix that one. He will soon become a dirty blonde!

@WarOne - good luck finishing your massive story! If you need any more subjects for it I've traded about 15 marines in total. I think only one made your epic story.

@Yggs - You must be corrupted to think that a Son of Sanguinious would ever succumb to the foul taint of Tzeentch!

@Gits - You may certainly quote the fluff on your page! I thought of you, as I always do while writing about Inushi. I hope he is fitting into your Mantis Warrior vision. I certainly am enjoying watching his character unfold.


Something that I do plan on doing is trying to focus a bit more on certain characters. One of the tips I learned that I am really trying to follow is to not have too many main characters. So with that in mind I decided that the next few sequences will all be from his point of view. Especially given the group at hand, he seemed like my best option.

Thanks again for all the comments guys!

Battle Brother Lucifer wrote:Only one nitpick, Reven has dark hair on the model. If you want to have it blond and

Spoiler:

Have it get dirty after he loses his helmet or something

Or even add something else, its up to you
Great read Ice

Corrected!

With surprising speed the ramshackle side ramp swung open. The loose contents in the chamber were sucked into the void and for a brief moment every marine casually held on to support beams to prevent being sucked outside. After the vacuum of space claimed the interior of the Ork Kroozer the marines climbed onto the starboard side of the vessel. Tech marine Philosir was the last to exit, a long cord trailed behind him back into the cargo hold they were in only a few seconds before.

Inushi glanced to the other marines; with the exception of the Ice Angels, they all seemed rather apprehensive of the plan. As his gaze fell on Aquilum, Inushi realized that even Aquilum’s typical joyous suicidal tendencies were subdued by the thought of what was about to occur.

Inushi looked to his left over one of the stubby wings on the Kroozer. The ancient Imperial outpost was built like a floating tower in space, but now it was nearly twice its original size. The orks had added to the tower countless other compartments and bays. Some additions appeared to be ships that were permanently attached. Overall the bloated station bristled with guns and red icons of a grinning maw.

The Kroozer was on approach to a hanger surrounded by what appeared to be metal planks that formed an open mouth. Inushi could clearly make out small vessels inside the well lit hanger when Philosir’s voice filled his vox.

“Beginning the roll,” he simply stated.

Inushi along with several other marines looked towards the rear of their vessel when it violently shook and the glow from the rear lessened. Parts and shrapnel flew out into space as one of the rear boosters exploded. The Kroozer began to veer off course. Inushi and the other marines were all squatting on the side of the vessel holding on to anything they could reach just in case extra parts flew off. The Kroozer continued its spiral away from the hanger but still towards the station. After two full rotations, the flat voice of Philosir returned.

“Move in three, two, one, now.”

As one the 7 marines jumped off the ship the moment the command was given and the starboard side faced the station. Mere seconds after they did so, a second explosion blew a side panel spraying more debris and chunks of the Kroozer in every direction. Inushi tried to follow the path of the Kroozer but his vision was obscured as he past several huge bulk heads that jutted out from the station and he entered total darkness. Inushi twisted around and only caught outlines of his fellow marines before he engaged his helmets night vision. They were silently entering what appeared to be a docking station for massive vessels to refuel and rearm in.

Inushi was taking in his surroundings when a way point appeared on his HUD. He caught only a glimpse of the point before he had landed behind a short ridge separating him from his destination. With a fluid motion that he had done countless times he drew his plasma pistol. Pyrox landed on the ridge thirty yards away, Shar-drasha came down behind the next ridge. In silence he continued to stand looking all around for any response. He assumed at any minute panels would move and orks would swarm but it never happened. Even as Shar-drasha walked over the ridge Inushi waited.

Shar-drasha jumped from the side of one ridge, twisted and stuck to the ridge closest to Inushi. The Ice Angel then continued to move over the ridge with haste. Inushi took one final look before following after him. Over the ridge he saw that Philosir had already removed a large panel that could hide a rhino. Behind the panel was some sort of maintenance tool bay. Hunzuu and Pyrox were already moving in as Inushi approached.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“You feel that?” Aquilum said with a hushed voice through the vox.

Inushi paused for only a brief moment to reevaluate his senses. “Feel what?” After his response he returned to his climb. The lightless maintenance shaft continuously vibrated from the huge power cores stored around them. His dark vision granted by his helmet allowed him to see the marine above and below him but no more.

“The gaze of the Emperor is upon us. I can feel it.” Aquilum spoke back in quite tones.

Inushi shook his head and looked up at the marine above him. The boots of Reven continued their steady climb. They had been climbing for nearly an hour in silence until Aquilum decided to share.

“Do you always have this feeling Aquilum? The Emperor is all seeing.” Reven eventually responded.

“All of the Empire is in his vision, in his peripheral vision, only on rare occasions can you feel his gaze. The focus of his consciousness is watching to see if we stay true to our words and true to him.” Aquilum chuckled. “And hopefully we amuse him.”

Near the top of the rising line of marines was Pyrox. With a voice that sounded more akin to an earthquake he rumbled a laugh at Aquilum’s words. “How could he not be amused? We jumped off a pirated ork vessel as it exploded to land on an ork held imperial station so that we can sneak through a maintenance shaft, all so that we can check ancient Imperial records that may or may not be useful.”

There were a few chuckles but the unit quickly fell back into silence, only their hand and footfalls breaking the constant hum of machinery. Meanwhile Inushi dwelled on the words of Aquilum, “hopefully we amuse him” he kept hearing in his head.

Of all the chants, prayers, psalms, hymns, and ancient quotes he had heard throughout his life, never had he heard of anyone trying to amuse the Emperor. The absurd notion made him think of the very different doctrine the Mantis Warriors follow, the ancient martial lore and the rigid training regime, yet everything he did and strived for was for the Emperor. How could another astartes, another child of the Emperor, have such a backwards view of the divine leader of the human race?

Inushi was lost in his own inner argument when the climbing stopped. Inushi leaned out to his right to see past Reven. Two small lights glowed brightly for a brief moment as a pair of servo skulls lifted off of Philosir’s armor. The tech marine was at the top of the chain holding onto the ladder while one of his servo arms examined a door behind him. The lights faded as quickly as they started as the two servitors disappeared down a pair ventilation ducts that perforated their maintenance shaft.

For a few minutes they waited until Philosir chimed in, “This is it.”

Nice work Ice! Have some minor suggestions but I'll do them by PM.

Thanks Gits! I look forward to your suggestions with much anticipation.

Epic chapter.

Slowly the door opened. In darkness the tech marine quietly stepped through the door way. With every step he took forward another marine exited the door behind him and quickly fanned out into the small chamber. The room was in disarray. Tools were strewn about and dozens of cables dangled from the ceiling to cross the room and disappear into other devices and wall crevices.

After only a few steps Philosir stopped in the middle of the room examining the work of the orks. Pyrox crossed the room to the only other door having to take several awkward steps to pass over large piles of electronics. He put away his plasma gun and leaned up against the door.

For several moments the unit waited in silence, all watching Pyrox. With a simple hand gesture several weapons lowered, Reven and Inushi crossed the room to stand right behind Pyrox and the door. Philosir strolled across the room and with a mere thought sent floor plans to the marines with HUDs. To Shar-Drasha, Hunzuu, and Pyrox the level they were on appeared on the left hand side as a faint red outline. A green line highlighted the path they were to take.

“We will pass through the left hand doors. Move forty meters forward and take another left. After the third arch way there will be a chamber on our right. That is our destination.” Philosir stated to the other marines.

Pyrox slightly turned his head and grumbled. “Exit strategy?”

“That will be revealed soon enough” the monotone voice of Philosir responded. Inushi exchanged glances with Reven.

“Brother Pyrox if someone tries to open the door, do not let them in. We must now wait” Philosir paused mid sentence, “four minutes.” With that thought concluded, one of his servo arms bent and shifted towards the top of his back pack. Inushi saw the movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to watch the black and red armored Ice Angel. The single servo arm pulled out a large serrated circle no thicker then a power swords edge and slightly bigger then his head. Only a single bar crossed the diameter of the blade. The lone bar seemed to expand and then elongate until it was nearly the length of Inushi’s leg. The entire alteration took no more then a few seconds. Philosir reached out and grabbed the unique weapon just below the blade with his left hand.

Inushi had been around dozens of Techmarines during his life as an astartes, but the technology of Philosir seemed to surpass anything he had seen before. For a fleeting moment Inushi looked at Philosir in a different light. Something about the tech marine seemed to set him on edge. Inushi closed his eyes when the dull rumble of running boots could be heard in the distance. Muffled shouts could be heard but not understood. He strained to hear what they were shouting, the deep voices of orks created a dull ache of sound.

“Correction, we move in 58 seconds.” Philosir added. Unbeknownst to Inushi, a timer appeared in several HUD’s. Pyrox began to slowly rock in place. Inushi watched the Fire Angel pulse back and forth. It was a minute motion but Inushi felt a slow seep of energy build within him. He focused on the movement and was soon rocking in time. In the last few seconds the voice of the gray armored angel rumbled a chant at a subvocal level.

“Emperor grant us gifts of silence in return we bring you gifts of violence.”

With that the door swung open. They were instantly bathed in a red throbbing light, but Pyrox was off like a hunter killer missile seeking its prey. Inushi and Reven were right behind. They moved with practiced ease and passed like flakes of snow in the wind. Without slowing Pyrox moved along the path given to him. Through the left hand doors and forty meters forward they moved. The halls were filthy and brimmed with garbage and scrap but there wasn’t a single ork in sight.

Inushi was looking down a side hall when a crunch was heard in front of him. He whipped around and saw Pyrox removing his gauntlet from the skull of an unarmed ork that was attempting to get off the floor. With only a slight pause he lowered the body back to the floor before continuing. The red pulsing lights seemed to make the ork blood glow.

The unit approached the third arch and no other orks had been spotted. Pyrox passed through the large open door way and entered the expansive room to his right. Inushi was right behind him, followed by Reven and the rest of the unit. The room had a level of grime that made the chamber feel more like a cave then a chamber in a station. Various colors of fungus grew along two of the walls and a huge mob of bed rolls sprawled across the floor.

The large room was octagonal and directly across from their entrance was a closed door. It didn’t appear that the door had been used in decades. Several shredded banners leaned up against the bulk head and a deep purple grin had been painted to the right of the door.

Pyrox walked up to the door and inspected it. Inushi noticed that his demeanor looked a bit deflated. Philosir was walking over to a support beam. Shar-drasha and Hunzuu were posted by their entrance. Aquilum wandered the room inspecting the walls and the bed rolls.

“Am I missing something or is there truly nothing here?” he added after only a few seconds of inspection. Pyrox stalked the room before stopping next to Aquilum, “there aren’t even cursed greenskin to bring the Emperors justice upon.”

Philosir did not respond, he simply magnetized his axe to his thigh and began to climb the support beam with the help of his two clawed servo arms. Upon reaching the peak of the room he let his servo arms hold him in place while he manipulated a panel in the ceiling. After only a few seconds the panel slid away and a small device lowered into the room about 12 inches. It looked almost like an upside down miniature building with a wide array of ports along its sides. Without hesitation a handful of cords shot out from Philosir immediately into the device. The device began to hum.

The throbbing red lights suddenly stopped and returned to their normal dirty yellow glow. Philosir looked down at the marines in the room, “that is surprising.”

Nearly every marine in the room exchanged glances until Aquilum spoke up, “What does that mean?”

“Standard Emergency Imperial Protocol, red throbbing lights indicate an immediate threat to the station or its staff on board.” Philosir began.

“Yes yes yes, I believe we are all aware of the protocols. What does it mean for us?” Aquilum quickly interrupted.

“It means that the fires on the level above us and the level below us have been extinguished, hence the lights returning to normal levels. Either I must reprogram my algorithm for ork response time to fires or I need to adjust the settings on my servo skulls.” Philosir responded while returning his concentration on the device in front of him.

“How much time will you need Brother Philosir?” Sergeant Hunzuu asked while peering down the hall outside the room.

“I am downloading several decades of information and sifting through it all. If I don’t find what I need first then it will take me nearly 15 minutes to obtain everything. Now I must concentrate.” The tech marine pulled himself closer to the device.

With a throaty chuckle Pyrox looked at Aquilum, “prepare yourselves brothers. The greenskins are returning.”

Nice installment ice. The plot thickens eh?

Inushi knelt in the darkness of the octagonal room next to a support beam. With his combat knife casually held in his right hand he watched the other marines go into hiding as best they could. Shar-drasha was to his left behind the next support beam. Hunzuu was across the room in a similar position. Inushi could hear the return of Pyrox and Reven, their footfalls crunching on shattered glass and broken plastics. Philosir hadn’t spoken or moved in four minutes and during that time all the other marines, except Aquilum, had shattered every light in the room and several in the hall just outside it.

The pair of marines entered the room. “The nearest lift just arrived.” Reven spoke in hushed tones. He then knelt directly across the entrance from Inushi by another support beam. Pyrox paused in the archway looking for a spot to pounce from when Aquilum walked up. The Emperor’s Fool held a massive ork banner in each hand. The banners were caked with a similar level of grime and blood as the room’s floor. Aquilum stopped near the center of the room and placed a banner pole in front of each foot. He lowered the poles only slightly to create a curtain to stand behind. The heavy banners brushed the floor merely ten feet from Inushi.

Pyrox quietly stepped around the banners and got down on his hands and feet right in front of Aquilum. As the banners ceased their movement Pyrox adjusted slightly to see through a tear near the bottom of the banner.

From Inushi’s angle he could clearly see Aquilum but Pyrox was hidden by the banners. Only with his night vision on could he see fragments of Pyrox through the plethora of holes in the banners. As Inushi looked for Pyrox his eyes were drawn to the thick banner closest to him. It depicted a massive ork with guns for hands and an artillery gun on his shoulder. Inushi studied the shredded bottom of the banner trying to decide if the ork was standing on tanks or had guns for feet.

The high pitched voices of small greenskins floated into his ears. He instantly filed the image of the banner away and concentrated on the sounds. There were several voices all trying to talk over one another. One by one they came into Inushi’s view. A score of grots walked towards the entrance.

Oblivious to the darkness they strolled into the entrance when a shout from down the hall echoed.

“Who smashed’n Bizz’s ead in?” the deeper ork voice asked. An odd muffled growling could be heard as the voice spoke up.

All of the grots immediately turned towards the deeper voice except a single lone butt scratching grot slowly walked open mouth towards the banners.

“Bizz?” “He dumb.” “I did it!” “I’ate’dat’git!” “I’ungry” “Lets go steal’is teef!”

The grots all spoke at the same time as they started to jog down the hall towards Bizz’s corpse. The never ending gibbering continued as they left. Meanwhile the lone grot continued to stare at the banner. Drool began to drip off his bottom lip as he scratched his butt.

The lone creature opened his mouth even further as if his miniscule brain was trying to remember how to speak. Inushi, along with every other marine in the room watched intently when a gray arm reached between the banners. In one clean motion the hand grabbed the grots head, crushed it, and pulled it behind the banners. The entire movement was fast and silent. The banners resettling into their position was the only reminder of the grots demise.

CRACK

A single gun shot snapped every marine’s attention to the hall. Even Philosir, who up until now had been motionless on the ceiling, tilted one of his ocular devices.

“Get off me boy! Is teef is mine!” the deep voice shouted. “Go git’em Squiggles!” With that, the muffled growling was replaced by an odd barking. The sound of scampering feet and high pitched squealing was followed by a swarm of grots running past and into the room. A four legged squig was right behind them dragging a chain.

As they entered the room they all ran for cover. Inushi smiled to himself as a trio of grots stumbled over themselves and hid next to his motionless form. The squig had gotten a hold of one of the grots, its screams cut short as its head disappeared down the squigs throat.

Inushi didn’t see how many grots ran into the room nor could he see where all of them had hidden but none of the marines were in reach of the squig hound. A slight crack came from the banners as the hound whipped his head towards the banners and began to sniff the air.

Without taking his eyes off the hound, Inushi silently lifted up his combat blade above the heads of the grots crouched next to him. The hound slowly crept towards the banners, its sniffing nose and whimpering grots the only sounds in the room. The beast had a huge lower jaw that nearly hit the floor as it crept forward a low growl began to gurgle in its throat.

Without a whisper, a familiar gray armored arm reached out and grabbed that disproportionate lower jaw and with a yelp the hound disappeared into the banner. Inushi quickly lowered his knife into the skull of a grot and repeated several times. He could hear the work of other marines around the room but couldn’t see specifics. Suddenly a single grot ran past Reven’s position towards the entrance.

One of the banners dropped with a crash, the metal bar across the top crushing the helpless grot a foot from the light creeping from down the hall. Pyrox held the bottom of banner and Aquilum looked down at him. They exchanged glances when Pyrox lifted the heavy banner back up. The body of the still twitching grot rose up in the air still attached to the banner pole.

“Oi! Squiggles must’a’git a biggin.” Several voices laughed at the words from down the hall.

“SQUIGGLES!” the voice shouted.

“HEY, Com ere!” it continued.

The foot falls of heavy boots echoed down the hall. When the boots first hit shattered glass they slowed.

Crunch, crunch,

Crunch.

“Squiggles?” the ork said quietly as it rounded the corner and peaked into the room. The tiny eyes of the ork scanned the room and for a moment Inushi thought that the ork was looking at him. Suddenly the body of the grot loosened its hold on the banner and fell with splat onto the floor. That was when the ork turned back towards the hall and shouted its last words, “Any o’yous got a light?”

In the span it took the ork to turn its bald green head back around, Reven had taken three strides and put his combat blade through the orks skull, its gold hilt touching the orks temple. Reven held the ork up, but could only watch as the orks large caliber pistol dropped and clanked onto the floor.

Mantis Warriors *and* grots?! I think I'm in heaven!

Gave your blog a promo on mine... hope it directs some traffic to you... your writing is certainly deserving of all the attention you can get.

Awesome update Ice.