Granted, but it fell on the floor, and theirs a few suspicious hairs stuck to it.

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner

Granted, but you get food poisining

I wish for two flamingos

granted but you got ninja'd

i wish i was dating katie perry

Granted. But she becomes hideously ugly immediately.
I wish for awesomeness.

Granted, but only in the opinion of hoboes.

I wish for MJOLNIR armor I could wear (assuming I'd survived the previous Spartan procedures)

Granted, hope you like vivid pink.

I wish for unlimited fast internet.

Granted, but perpetually locked onto the Bratz website.

I wish for the world to end

Granted.... But it only ends for you.... the rest of us continue on.

I wish Detroit would be a contender for the Super Bowl.

Granted, they become contenders for the best bowl of them all gold plated even, real super, meanwhile football continues in their absence.

I wish for a better mousetrap.

Granted, You get the best Mouse Trap known to man. It's completely amazing and one of a kind, but you lost the directions on how to operate this new contraption and are forced to throw it away.

I wish that Derek Jeter would get mugged by a mob tranny hookers.

Granted but he ran away when they jumped him

I wish for a boiled goose.

but you fall in the boiler too and die!!

I want my life back...

Granted, but you never had it in the first place.

I want sprinkls on my cup cake.

Wish granted but the cake is now made of resin

I wish that Space Marines the Video came out Tomorow.

Granted... It comes out tomorrow everywhere but Australia where it is banned by an overprotective government.

I wish they would make a Wonder Woman Movie.

Granted but it wasn't wonderful

I wish for a new car.

Granted. Congratulations on your Gremlin.

I wish Kings of War was more popular than WHFB.

Granted, it's so popular that the products all sell out, and a worldwide revolt starts, eventually ending with us crashing into the sun. The good news is, it dries the glue on my new miniatures!

I wish to have the ability to shrink.

But you overshrink and get stepped on

I wish for limitless GW credit

Granted but they gave it to me by mistake.

I wish for some chili.

Granted, but it is made with a whole bottle of Dave's Insanity Sauce making it so hot you lose the ability to speak for 3 months.

I wish I had a personal chef.

granted... but hes horrible. anything you taste that he cooks makes you retch.

i wish for a more complete 40k ruleset

Sabet wrote:granted... but hes horrible. anything you taste that he cooks makes you retch.

i wish for a more complete 40k ruleset

At least it isn't Ramsey....

Granted... but it is an internet Fandex that isn't playable in tournements.

I wish Mtv would play MORE music videos and less reality crap.

touche.

helgrenze wrote:
Granted... but it is an internet Fandex that isn't playable in tournements.

I wish Mtv would play MORE music videos and less reality crap.

Granted. But it's all Kidz Bop videos.

I wish I had the ability to teleport.

Granted but you teleport into a wall.

I wish I had my own business...not a sexually oriented or drug related one.

granted... you run a small company were you are the only worker. its a garbage company.

i wish that i could choose when i was alone and when i could deal with other people. i just want some time to myself!

Granted but for some reason evlis likes to pop in after lunch on tuesdays.

I wish for easy homework.

Granted. You get easy homework. But its so easy you put it off til later and forget about it completely.

I wish for another cool asignment.

Granted.... You are sent to Antarctica to determine the sexes of penguin hatchlings.

I wish for lightening in a bottle.

Granted. Unfortunately, you mistake it for milk, and normally enjoy drinking directly from the bottle.

I wish I was a Pokemon Master.

Granted. But you suck at everything else. And the Pokemon are the stupid new ones.

I wish to have lots of money to spend on what I please.

Granted, but you forgot to get the money from the bank

I wish for Christmas.

Granted. It is suddenly Christmas. But you have not bought nor wrapped any gifts nor helped with any preparations. You missed all the parties and everyone is mad at you.

I wish Antarctica was not so cold.

Granted, but because of global warming there is no Antartica

I wish for a teddy bear.

Granted. You find a teddy bear floating in a urinal.

I wish Antartica had not melted.

Granted, I didn't melt.... It got shot down by aliens. O.o

I wish for a house with over 9000 T.V's

Granted. And you are responsible for the electric bill.

I wish for more zombie clowns to paint.

Granted, but they lost too many chunks of their brain to remember how to paint.

I wish for a sharpened pencil.

Sabet wrote:i wish that i could choose when i was alone and when i could deal with other people. i just want some time to myself!

Evaelc wrote:Granted but for some reason evlis likes to pop in after lunch on tuesdays.

That's a bad thing? He does that every thursday anyway.

40k Ninja wrote:Granted, but they lost too many chunks of their brain to remember how to paint.

I wish for a sharpened pencil.

Granted. But you've broken both your hands and cannot use it.

I wish I could sell my GK here.

Granted, but 0 bids

I wish for a funny hippo

Granted, the hippo become's the life of the party and you are quickly forgotten in favour for this humourous fellow.



I wish I had the ability to see through walls

granted... but only ones made of lego

i wish that i wasn't so susceptible to marketing. damn you xbox 360!

Granted you are now impervious to marketing. You now want to by noting. Nothing appeals to you not even food. you die in the streets a hobo, but happy? Maybe.

I wish for more money to pay my bills.

Granted. You have enough money to pay all your current bills.... but have nothing left for anything else, even food.

I wish I had more time to play 40k.

Granted, you have free time to balance both work and play. only problem is that everyone else no longer plays 40k. They all play Munchkin now.

I wish for a clean room.

Granted.. you get a nice clean room with white walls.... you also get a nice canvas jacket with wrap-around sleeves and daily doses of powerful anti psychotic drugs.

I wish for some good coffee ice cream.

Granted but I already ate it all.

I wish to burn all that fat from the ice-cream

granted... it replaced by chemicals that cause addiction to fatty foods.

i wish i didn't have to do homework

Your wish is granted! your first with has now been unwished and every other wish has now collapsed.


I wish the next wish doesn't have a twist.

granted,it just sucks because theres no content.

i wish for the wish gods to die.

Granted. They are now undead wish gods.

I wish for free cake.

Granted.. the cake is free..... you, however, will be crucified on Saturday.

I wish it would rain down, down on me.

Granted but it started hailing.

I wish for a lizard with 900 eyes

granted,but it dies from the pain of constantly getting poked stabbed or burned in the eye(s)

i wish this genie was free so it doesnt have to grant are wishes.

Granted, but he now charges for grammer and spelling errors.

I wish I had an Angel.

Granted. But it spends all of its time hiding.

I wish for fair treatment.

Granted... you become a rowdy for a small time circus.

I wish for a black rose.

Granted but it was fake

I wish for a pizza

granted but its old and moldy.

i wish to know of a good anime to watch.

Granted but you soon realize that it is also a yaoi....

I wish the weather would get cooler.

granted,it freezes over and you freeze to death in your own home.

i wish i knew what a yaoi was...seriously,never heard of it :/

Granted. Someone mailed you a pizza a few days ago.

Hey I have been a clown at a small circus......

I wish for some more time to paint models. It has been scarce here of late.

granted,but you loose your abilty to paint even decently.

i wish............for,i dunno,something hot?

Granted, but you get 3rd degree burns on your hand.

I wish electricity was free.

Granted. But they shut down Tesla before he could make it a reality.

I wish for some beer.

granted. its frozen solid and poisoned...yeah,good luck with that.

i wish for...............................................,..............

granted.... nothing ever happens in your life.

i wish life was easier.

Granted. Life is easier. You are a plant.


I wish for better beer.

Granted but it ran out

I wish for a hamburger

granted, but You are a closet hindu, it is against your religion (took me a bit to come up with that)



I wish for...moar dakka!

Granted, but you can never figure out how to work the safety and can only accidently shoot cats.

I wish it was already autumn.

granted. but all the leaves in the world catch fire at once and ignite the atmosphere...congadualtions. you have just committed exterimatus...

no wish??? LOL

I wish for a cool car

Granted.... you find a Yugo frozen in a block of ice.

I wish I had time to take part in this months 'Ard Boyz.

granted,but you arrive late due to a car accident and its already over.

i wish for terminator armor.

Granted, but you lack the correct implants and modifications to use it.

I wish I could fly like Superman.

granted,but you can only do it naked and you get arrested for public nudity in several countries.

i wish to melt my terminator armor down into ammo.

granted, but the machine spirit is enraged and removes your regenerative member when you fire the ammo...ouch.

i wish people would stop forgetting to wish...

i wish for adrenal glands

Granted, but you get so hyped up that your heart bursts.

I wish for a good made for SyFy movie.

granteeee wait,hold on, syfy the channel? sorry bro,ive been waiting for that too.

i wish for giant mutant squid super awesome pal pet!

granted. say hi to squidward.

I wish for...I dunno.

granted... you lose all ability to think.

i wish that the necron codex wasn't being written by matt ward. and was decent.

Fine

ninja'd helgrenze. i already replied.

granted. it is written by...C.S GOTO instead. all your 'crons have multilasers.

I wish for...lemme think...ok this is all I got...normal people to and furries to stop fighting. IT CLOGS UP THE WEB DAMMIT!

Damn Ninjas.

Granted.. Furries and Civil War Cosplayers are now at war.

I wish for a good ninja movie.

granted... you can never watch it

i wish i was fit.

Granted. but it is all about web-ninja'ing

I wish for a camera...

speaking of ninjas



Granted, but you become so fit you are buff, that is stereotypical. no girls want to be around you now.


I wish for better internet speed in this country

granted... but you don't have access to it

i wish that the "ideal" form would change to people that weren't fit.

woot two ninja's in a row.

granted,we all die because were to fat to move...

i wish for all of us to gain epic ninja powers!

granted... but because everybody has it it's not very special. some people are still more ninja than others.

i wish i could choose when to go to school.

granted. the entirety of the chain fiction board gets ninja powers...including the mods, you have doomed us all.

TRIPLE NINJA!!!!

yes. welcome to college


I wish I could not be so addicted to dakka

Granted... Dakka no longer exists

i wish for some personal ninja's

Granted. You get two, but they hate each other and refuse to work together.

I wish the new Thundercats wasn't made in Anime style.

Granted, But its now made clay-mation style. The show is terrible and the voice actors end up killing themselves because its so bad.

I wish that the cast of the Jersey Shore would go away, permanently.

Granted.... but they came back a year later. like always.

I wish for my power level to be OVER 9000!!!!!!!

granted,but your just human so it overloads you and you explode.

i wish to control the universe.like a god.an angry god.

Granted. You are Watzisname, god of Obscurity.

I wish for a closeby bottle opener.

Granted, there is a bottle opener on your lap right now. But you begin to realize that this is bottle opener is made of anti-matter, and it is touching you; matter. You quickly begin to departiclize and you die. Leaving all of you family and loved ones to mourn your loss. All that is left of you is your last words on Dakka. A sad testament to your life.

I wish for the answers of this thread to have more breadth and detail in them.

Granted. You are suddenly innundated with a wall of text so large that it takes the rest of your natural life to read the existing posts and leaves you with no time for work, food, or other things.

I wish I had a decent, working, and legal vehicle.

granted,its a sports bike,excellent condition too.

i wish to be a different,better god.

Granted. You are now the Ancient Japanese God of rocks that are large but not boulders. A real god, by the way.

I wish nothing good or bad would happen as a result of this post, with nothing else being affected.

Granted but a glitch in the matrix caused all of the wishes to come true. LOL

I wish for a ham and cheese sandwich

Granted, but was made by a Plague Marine so the ham is green and the cheese is moldy.....

I wish to be taller.

granted,you stretch,but your skin doesn't and all rips off and ou die a horrible,but quite strangely happy,death.

i wish to be the evilest being in all of existence and in every existence!

Granted. You are now 2mm taller. Enjoy the weather up there.

I wish for more black paint.

lord commissar klimino wrote:i wish to be the evilest being in all of existence and in every existence!

Granted.... You are so evil that All the other "evil" beings join forces with all the "good" to trap you in your own dimentional pocket..... Alone.

snurl wrote:I wish for more black paint.

Granted.... you now see all paint as being black.... your models suffer for it.


I wish for some winning lottery numbers.

granted,you win *insert dramatic music* one dollar!!!!!!

i wish to not be bothered in my epic aloneness.

Granted, you're now cut off from the rest of the world. No one bothers you ever again. Sadly, your lack of human contact develops itself into multiple personality syndrome.

I wish that I had my own (female) personal ball-washer.

granted,but its a female tyranid ripper.yeah,your dead.

i wish to know the names and attitudes of these new voices in my head.

Granted. One of them is named Mararet and she likes to cut you.

I wish for a new paint roller.

granted,but its cheaply made and gets the fluff all over your walls.

i wish to know how a voice in my head cut me.

Granted. You know now that voices in your head are a symptom of schitzophrenia, which can include multiple personality manifistatiions. You cut yourself but thought you were someone else while doing it. Wait until you meet the rest of them.

I wish for more cheap rollers because they are perfect for what I am doing tomorrow.

Granted, your local home improvement store is having a sale on cheap paint rollers. You buy so many that you expend all of your funds, forgetting to buy the paint. Not only that, but since these are cheap rollers you are using the fluffy crap all over them starts to shed off and become airborne. You begin to unknowingly breath these airborne particles of fluffy air into your lungs killing you painfully over the next week. the only up side is that when they do the autopsy on your body they find your lungs to be plush and huggable, creating the newest child plush sensation, My Lil Lungy.

I wish i could produce my art full time and make a living out of it.

granted,but its all you can do.all the time.so you,of course,die from lack of food...and water...and sleep.

i wish for a lil lungy.

Granted. Your LilLungy was produced in China using toxic materials. You cling to it even in death, unaware of its gentle poison.

I wish this paint would dry faster.

Granted.... It dries on the brush.

I wish I could get a true Philly Cheesesteak in Oklahoma.

Granted. The Reading Terminal Market ships one direct to you. But it is cold.

I wish there were not quite so many spiders and hornets in here.

Granted but they nested and a new hive started.

I wish for a pancake tower.

granted,its super big....wait,uh oh,it fell over on you and crushed you to death...wow,thats alot of pancakes...

i wish to not be dead....

Granted.... You are reborn and have to go through puberty and school all over again.

I wish I didn't have to work tonight.

snurl wrote:Granted. The Reading Terminal Market ships one direct to you. But it is cold.

I wish there were not quite so many spiders and hornets in here.

Hey cold and good is better than hot and bad.

Granted. You had to work last night and didnt show up thinking it was supposed to be tonight. You are in a heap of trouble.

I wish someone would design a better fixture for flourescent tubes.

Granted but in the process they destroyed all the flourescent lightbulbs in the world on practice tests.

I wish for the world to be 100% eco-friendly.

granted but technology falls behind because of it.

i wish for 100% better technology.

Granted. All tech is 100% better, but there are no manuals or instructions anywhere.

I wish for cheap LEDs.

Granted. But they only come in black.

I wish for extra broadband.

Granted.... But nothing in your house is compatable.

I wish I could get something close to 8 hours of sleep at one time.

Granted but you fell asleep for 100 days. (you now feel well rested)

I wish for a spatula.

Granted. You get an exclusive tour of the worlds largest spatula store, the world famous Spatula City...... The near endless variety overwhelms you and you pass out hitting your head on the way down and forget why you were there.

I wish I had a hammer.

Granted but it dropped on your toe. Ouch!

I wish for a famous person to run past my house.

granted,its the guy who plays edward in twilight...naked....

i wish to get the above image out of my head!!!!!!!!

Granted but since you brought it up no one can forget that image. What has been though cannot be unthought. O.o

I wish to rub my brain with soap now

Granted. You expose your brain and run it through the dishwasher on the gentle cycle. You dont remember much when its done.

I wish I was better at picking out gifts for people.

granted, you become Santa. ho ho ho.

I wish for darko to event space hulk.

granted,but its all in cat so you cant read it.

i wish for you to stop changing your avatar so fething much...

granted. it changes to an image of the guy who played edwrd in twilight, naked.

I wish to be able to freeze time.

Granted, you now freeze time, and by time i mean any clock that is near you stops. Time goes on as normal but you make people late and they now hate you and you no longer have any friends. Prick.

I wish for more time.

granted,your mind moes twice as fast as a normal humans but everything seems slow to you now and i drives you to suicide.

i wish for some tasty bacon!

you get the tasty bacon.

I wish for...a nice life

Granted. You are a Fruit Fly. You will have the best life ever. for 24 hours, then you are toast.


I wish for less interruptions.

granted, you have no human contact for the rest of your life.

I wish for why the world

(I think I just killed the thread)

granted. everything questions why earth is here and then leaves.earth is now dead.

i wish for the polar caps to melt.

granted. big wet.

I wish for goonnnk

Granted. You just spewed a whole lotta goonnnk all over your keyboard, which shorts renders it useless.

I wish for more fiberglass resin.

Granted... but it was used to repair the left front quarter panel of an old Corvette.

I wish gas prices would come down.

Granted.
But food prices go up and you starve.
I wish for a Warhammer 40'000 TV show that would stay true to the fluff and ultra-violent nature of 40k.

Granted. But parents, teachers, and clergy are all outraged and the show is censored off the air. GW's reputation never recovers from the backlash and protesting and the company goes belly up.

I wish for an auto-leveling lightweight ladder.

Granted.... It becomes perfectly level..... When laying on the ground.

I wish my roomies would clean their room regularly.

Granted. Your roomies are a couple of middle aged school teachers and they keep their rooms spotless and springtime fresh. Thet bitch about your room a lot.

I wish for a bigger air compressor that still fits where the old one did.

Granted, your Bigger Air Compressor fits perfectly, sadly it's so powerful that even its lowest setting blows apart anything you try to inflate.


I wish I had the energy to paint all my miniatures instead of leaving entire armies base coated black.

Granted, you have plenty of enegry to paint, but lose interest in doing so. You start playing a marathon of Call of Duty and nearly die from DVT.

I wish I had some milk for the butt ton of cereal we have in the house.

Granted. You got milk but it expired last week.

I wish this was easier.

Granted. But it becomes un-amusing and will forever be known as the worst thread on Dakka.

I wish that GW didnt go belly up.

Granted... They don't but get bought out by hasbro and they start including Magic style cards for everything.

I wish the realtor would reschedule.

Granted. The realtor reschedules but doesn't tell you about it.


I wish for no rain this weekend.

granted... it hails instead.

i wish for $1 million australian dollars. and to recieve it legally.

Granted.... Congrats, you have just won $1 million dollars Australian..... in canadian pennies..... that will be shipped C.O.D.

I wish for a new Wil Wheaton tv show.

Ok but its terrible.

i wish for a perfect laptop.... with an injtel xenon processor and a terrabite of Ram just for fun.

Granted..... But you can only connect to the internet via dial-up, at the slowest possible speed.

I wish work did not suck.

Granted your job does not suck it is the best job ever. However, as a result a huge wave of immagrants come to your country hoping to get a job like yours. You are eventualy repaced by an immigrant due to the fact that they will work for longer and less.

I wish for super fast broadband to go with my ultimate laptop

Granted, but you move to China, now everything is blocked!

I wish for a pair of scissors

Granted, but in your ensuing joy, you make the fatal error of running with them.......

I wish I could get motivated to finish painting my army.

Granted....but when you finish and jump up in your triumph you knock over the paints and ruin them.

I wish i had a Mosin-Nagant M1890/30 rifle.

Granted. You get your Bear rifle but it has been buried in the mud since some conscript dropped it in 1944.

I wish for a completely restored authentic Tiger tank.

Granted.... the person that restored it drives the tank through yous livingroom wall and it in your kitchen.

I wish I had some rum.

granted... it takes like piss. in fact, its actually piss laced with minute amounts of rum,

i wish i could go home and play on my xbox.

Granted. You play on your xbox until you fall off and break it.

I wish it would stop raining so I could finish painting the crypt.

OK but it starts hailing. the hail is the size of beach balls and your house is destroyed.

i wish for the next angry birds update.

Granted... but it is a new mini game only available to WOW paid accounts.

I wish I were a Viking.

Granted. You were a viking. But you were unemployed and had to find other work.

I wish for a new WHFB skirmish game.

Granted.... however it is based on the show Deadliest Warrior and you have to play out each scenario 100 times before a winner is decided.

I wish I had some old style Rhinos.

Granted, but they are MY Rhino's and painted badly.




I wish that girls who think I'm "cute" weren't old enough to be my Grandma but more my own age.

HellsGuardian316 wrote:Granted, but they are MY Rhino's and painted badly.

I wish that girls who think I'm "cute" weren't old enough to be my Grandma but more my own age.

Granted, but rather than making the girls younger, you have been so now you are a similar age to them. All your pale, wrinkled, flaccid old man genitalia is good for now is causing discomfort when urinating due to a prostrate complaint and getting caught in the fly of your ridiculously high-waisted trousers (we're talking up to the nipples high here)

I wish I was somehow able to improve my concentration span and stop looking like a complete slacker in work!

Granted. You are recruited into the Army for your attention span and quickly die of an Aneurism.

I wish that this wish would be a wish that could wish for wishes being wishes for wished wishes.

Granted, But you immediately go insane and are forced into a mental health facility for the rest of your days because you can't comprehend which wish, wished for which wishes, thusly making whichever wishes that were initially wished for unwished or wished for. You eventually grow old and die there.

I wish I had the power to kill a yak, from 200 yards away...with mind bullets...thats telekinesis.

granted...however you can only do it once.

i wish i didn't have to participate in school sports.

OK but now you have to participate in professional sports.
Everyone is ten times the size of you and due to fear of being crushed beneath the weight of the opposing team you wet yourself on national T.V.

I wsih fore a Betterer speil cheque.

Granted. You have a fine spellchecker. But your head hurts when you use it too much.

I wish my cat could talk.

Granted but it only speak in Mandarin and in riddles.

I wish my dog could let herself out.

Granted, but she runs away and you never see her again.

I wish my Dachshund would stop crapping in my room.

Granted.... but it continues to pee on your bed.

I wish for some good news.

Granted, but you hear that a global nuclear war just started right after you hear the good news.

I wish my sister would stop taking my laptop.

Granted.... She takes your laptop one last time and never gives it back when she moves to Florida.

I wish I to have a new LEDhd TV.

Granted. You get your LEDhdTV. The screen size is 25mm x 15mm.

I wish I could speak mandarin.

Granted, but you can only speak insults and swear words.

I wish someone would hurry up and translate Strike Witches 2 into English.

Granted, it has been translated into English, but during its translation everyone smoked pcp and inhaled helium so they sound ridiculous and none of the story makes any God damn sense.

I wish that the USA network would play White Collar on Tuesday nights at 9pm and then again on Wednesday nights at 11pm.

Granted, but they are not the same episode... nor are they in order.

I wish they would remake some bad 70s/80s movies.

granted... the only change is that they make the graphics WORSE!

i wish for more time...

Granted.... you have one additional second.

I wish for some decent sea food.

Granted. Trouble is its a giant octopus and its not dead, its also got a taste for human flesh.



I wish someone would buy my ork Army

Granted.... and they pay you a drcent price too..... and pay you in completely worthless counterfit Texas Redbacks.

I wish I could be in West Virginia this weekend.

OK but north Korea decides to nuke west Virginia.

i wish for a golden labrador

Granted, but it runs away immediately.

I wish that it was winter.

OK BUT ITS A FENRISIAN WINTER AND WE ALL DIE OF THE COLD

I WISH I WERE A SPACE WOLF

Granted, but you have a Plasma gun..... and a target.

I wish they wouldn't remake Bladerunner.

granted... they make an almost exact replica and call it blade flyer

i wish to be immortal, so that i can choose where and when i die!

Sabet wrote:granted... they make an almost exact replica and call it blade flyer

i wish to be immortal, so that i can choose where and when i die!

You are now immortal, and can choose where and when you die, however you are immortal, so cannot die!

I wish I had the ability to turn water into delicious coffee (at will, not a king-midas-style thing)

granted... it tastes horrible

i wish i could live for as long as i want

Ok but you come over with a severe case of depression and no longer wish to live

i wish i rolled a six

granted.. in fact you roll two of them. except your not actually playing a game against anyone, just rolling dice against yourself to see a unit's effectiveness. that roll was for their morale check. you failed spectacularly!

i wish that the people downstairs would be quiet so i could sleep

ok you can sleep...... but only for five seconds and then the people upstairs start making noise.

I wish for ultimate win

Granted, but right before you achieve the Ultimate Win you experience the Ultimate Loss.

I wish I had a Coffee maker in every room of my house.

Granted.. you now live with a half dozen Starbucks Baristas..... All male.... with personal space issues.

I wish some-one else would cut the lawn for free.

Ok but there a 7 year old child while cutthing the grass they hurt themself while dooing it and as a result your whole nabourhood blames you for the incident and you are shunned untill it becomes too much and you move into the mountains and live out the rest of your days as a hermit

i wish i could paint realistic battle damage.

granted... but only on real life on vehicles that are already battle damaged

i wish for more salami!

Granted, but it's old and maggoty.

I wish more people in my area played Warmachine.

Wish granted! But now everyone plays warmachine and nothing else. All of your loved ones play it, all of your friends, everyone you have ever met now plays warmachine...Everyone plays it so much that they stop going to work. They also stop doing basic functions like eating and sleeping...They start dying all because of your selfish wish.

I wish I had a delicious plate of chicken wings and a cold pint of lager.

Granted, but the chicken wings clog your arteries with delicious fat and you die.

I wish I had my own Juggernaut Warjack.

granetd... its second hand from ebay. the previous owner slopped paint all over it. its pretty much a ball of paint with a warjack core.

i wish for a working lamp

Granted, but it has a bulb as powerful as the sun and you burn to death.

I wish I had my own life sized, fully functioning Juggernaut Warjack.

granted... except the moment you turn it on it breaks and falls to pieces.

i wish to be heat-proof

Granted, but now you are super vulnerable to noises.

I wish for a suit of Brotherhood of Steel Power Armour and the training to use it.

Granted but it is weaponless and is painted with a pattern of concentric circles.

I wish for a solid 8 hours of sleep that leaves me awake and refreshed.

Granted, but it is while you are driving that you fall asleep.

I wish for less rules.

granted.besides all the death and chaos,the worlds a better place.

i wish for immorality!

granted... you steal a packet of gum. you get sent to prison for life.

i wish that the harry potter movies were as good sa the books.

Granted, but now the movies are better then the books.

I wish the new Sherlock Holmes movie was on Netflix.

Granted. You then watch it to find that every head in the movie has been edited to be an ork face. Wahhh!

I wish for a search party

(That would be pretty awesome, IMO)
Granted, but the search party is made up of children with ADD.

I wish dead fish would stop washing up on the beach.

Granted. they only fall out of the sky now.

I wish for some milk for my breakfast.

granted. its old and sour though.

i wish for full control in my life.

Granted, but it's only the illusion of control.

I wish there was no more bigotry and homophobia in the world.

granted,but the world becomes worse and falls into a pit of evil. thanks,you screw us all.

i wish for abortion to be 100% illegal and considered murder.

(since your playing the politics card,i will. )

granted... the population booms and the human race quickly dies out from lack of resources

i wish i had halo: reach

Granted, but the disk is scratched and you can't play.

I wish my sister would stop using my Minecraft account.

Granted. She feths it so bad that neither of you can use it now.


I wish for more sucessful days like yesterday was.

granted,but theirs only 2 more in you life.the rest suck.

Granted.. you wished for nothing and that is what you get... In abundance!

I wish for rock & roll, porn, and a motorbike.

granted,but they all are as one and..oh,wait,that would be epic....

i wish...for more epic.

Granted, a warhound titan steps on you.


I wish for...fog.

Granted, but there is an axe murderer hiding in the fog and he kills you.

I wish I could download Old World Blues.

Granted. but it is actually Blue's Clues.

I wish for Tactical Dreadnaught Armor.

And everything needed to wear it and control it.

granted.all around the world,a fog so thick you cant see an inch appears...forever. were doomed.

i wish this:

never existed.

granted. it does not.




I wish for moar dakka.

Granted. Legoburner updates the site and it become so awesome every other site closes and all the TFGs from those site come here and ruin it.

I wish for less work more money.

Granted, you are now jobless but your entire family died, leaving you with the inheritance.

I wish for this wish to not be granted.

granted. you are fired from your job and find a penny on the street.




I wish for...better Spongebob episodes. the new ones are crap.

ineptus astartes wrote:granted. you are fired from your job and find a penny on the street.




I wish for...better Spongebob episodes. the new ones are crap.

I ninja'd you.

Granted, but Spongebob is now rated -CENSORED BY THE INQUISITION- and nobody is allowed to watch it.


I wish for this wish to not be granted.

yes.


I wish for a jaw that could go like this:



(I wonder what content the new Spongebob episodes are full of?)

Granted, but someone grants your other wish.

I wish I could speak Latin.

Granted. but only the badly-mangled latin of 'the wizarding world'




I wish for a comb jellyfish.

granted.it shocks you.

i wish to be able to write better.

(Comb jellyfish do not have stingers)

lord commissar klimino wrote:granted.it shocks you.

i wish to be able to write better.

Granted. But that's all you'll be able to write from now on. "Better, better better, better better better, better?"

I wish for a jelly doughnut.

Granted, but it's laced with arsenic.

I wish I didn't have any summer homework.

coolyo294 wrote:Granted, but it's laced with arsenic.

I wish I didn't have any summer homework.

Wish granted without being ruined in any way, shape, or form.

I wish for this wish to be unwished, thus unwishing the wish to not be wished and therefore...

Granted but it creates wormhole that turns on itself and collapses into a quantum paradox that disrupts the current universe by creating a new one...... back to square one.

I wish my unpainted figures would be painted expertly to my design by magic creatures while I am at work.

Granted, but that night while you sleep these magic creatures turn on you and drown you in thick coated layers of acrylic paints.

I wish that GW would release more Raven Guard stuff...

Granted, but the rules and fluff are written by Mat Ward.

I wish I had some Coffee.

Granted, you find a bag of whole beans and discover you lack any way to grind them or heat water.

I wish I had a ham sandwich.

Granted. You had a ham sandwitch. About a week ago. You dont recall what became of it.

I wish for more hardware that is actually useful.

Granted. you get military hardware. from the middle ages. like your slingshot?


I wish for my writers block to lift so I can write my WWZ RPG!

granted,but you write it so sloppily it becomes a spongebob RPG.

i wish i didnt have to wake up so dang early for school!

Granted, you now have to wake up 1 minute later.

I wish mercs had more flexibility in Castles, I am just stealing all of Warmachine's Ideas.

granted,they are more flexible than kingdoms so no one wants to be kingdoms and the game dies.

i wish i didnt have such bad luck.

Granted, but you become so lucky people think you're a witch and they burn you.

I wish my braces would stop hurting.

(oooo,yeaah...those suck...)
granted,as someone who has had them,i give you mercy so all that happens is you fart loud in class.

i wish i didnt die by a contradiction.

Granted... you are killed by a late model, blue conundrum.

I wish my knees didn't hurt so much.

Granted, now your elbows hurt.

I wish I didn't have Physics first hour.

Granted.... you now have Phys Ed first hour and wind up too tired to concentrate on Physics.. you fail and have to take Physics in summer school.

I wish they would pull that annoying "dumb things on smart phones" commercial.

(I actually like those commercials...)
Granted, but they replace it with an even stupider commercial.

I wish I had more classes with my friends.

(Coolyo... Just that one..... it irritates.)

Granted.... But you are the instructor and your friends start resenting you.

I wish I had time to see the movies I want to.

helgrenze wrote:
I wish I had time to see the movies I want to.

Granted, but you do it all Howard Hughes-style, you are now locked in a home theater rooms with all your movies, you can't get out for 3 weeks and your only sustenance is chocolate bars and pasteurised, semi-skimmed milk. There is no toilet so you have to do your business in the empty milk containers, and your only companions are a large number of carefully arranged kleenex boxes.

I wish I had four stomachs

too easy....
Granted.. you are now a cow..... and the farmer has cold hands.

I wish SoB players could be happy.

Granted. Now GK players are angry.

I wish Bel Canto wasn't such a horrible book.

Granted. It isn't but you have to spend the rest of your life reading it, over and over again.

I wish my desk was tidier.

Granted. Your desk is spotless. Now you can't find anything.

I wish my desk was bigger.

Granted, but your room grows messier to compensate.

I wish I had a perfectly cast FW Warhound Titan.

Wish granted but it's nefed so bad that Grots can kill it.
I wish for some Butter Chicken.

granted,you get the best buttered chicken in the would,but its from over here so its all m0ldy when you get it.

i wish for no school.

ok no school. now thers just forced labour camps instead

i wish for annother flapjack

Granted, but you are out of syrup.... and jam.. and butter... and honey...

I wish I had some ice cold beer.

Granted. You have a whole keg of Iron City Light.

I wish that folks who produce crap beer would just quit.

Wish Granted but now they make bad Warhammer codexs that make Matt Ward's Codexes look good.

I wish for some Space Beer.

Granted. It is very angry and slashes your head off. Oh, did you say beer? I thought you said bear. Sorry, my bad.

I wish I could sell the models, that I don't feel I need, at a reasonable price.

(Me too) Granted. But you realize that you need them.
I wish that people weren't so forgetful...

Granted.. wait what was it you wanted?

I wish they wouldn't make such bad shark attack movies.

granted,they all make great one...that end up being bad because there boring and nothing new.

i wish crap didnt smell so bad.

Granted.... Your sense of smell is removed. You can no longer smell anything.

I wish more people would join this thread.

Granted, but so many people join that you can't properly post a response without being Ninja'd.

I wish I could write essays better.

Granted, you become a premere essayist... however it now takes you so long to say anything that people lose interest in what you want to say.

I wish record companies would stop trying to control what people listen to.

Granted. Record companies will now record and sell any old gak at all. It's impossible to find the good stuff amongst all the crap.

I wish this Hurricane blows itself out.

snurl wrote:Granted. Record companies will now record and sell any old gak at all. It's impossible to find the good stuff amongst all the crap.

Problem is ...they already do.

I wish this Hurricane blows itself out.

Granted..... it wastes all its energy flattening your house, then dissapates.

I wish for some nice hot pizza to be delivered to me by a sexy woman.

Granted, the pizza is hot, the woman is sexy, you **** her, but she was infected with the Z-germ. you have 20 hours to live. and then all of eternity to un-live. provided some army grunt does not shoot you at Yonkers...

I wish for the girl who I am interested in emotionally to ask me out on a date.

Granted, but Zack invades your place-of-dates and they eat you alive. your date is also set upon by the Gs.

I wish astartes would of not made a telepathic wish.

wish granted, I did not.

I wish that TCB was a more popular forum.

Wish granted but now it is full of trolls.
I wish GW would lower their prices without going Bakrupt.

Granted, they do not go 'bakrupt' they go bankrupt

and I wish to not be so sleepy.

Granted, but now you're so alert that you can never fall asleep.

I wish I had more ideas for my Cthulhu RP.