This is a wishing game. Basically, you make a wish, and the next poster grants it, but with a twist. Then he posts his wish, and it goes on. Here is an example :

Person 1 - I wish I could have a million dollars
Person 2 - Wish granted, but you have to spend it on toilet paper.
I wish I could fly.
Person 3 - Wish granted, but you have giant pink, sparkly butterfly wings.
I wish I could own GW.
And, It continues. So who wants to play? I will start.

I wish I could own Disney World

Ah, I remember this game. But it was called "grant a wish" back then.


Anyway, granted - but then an idiot joy-rides a tank through it, demolishing the entirety of Disney Land.

I wish I could be King of the moon, and that Chuck Norris could be my henchman. We'd all live in atmosphere-type-dome-thingies.

Granted. You are the moon king. But Chuck Norris kicks someone through one of the atmosphere domes and implodes the whole place, leaving you literally out of breath.

I wish that beer is always cold from now on. You dont need the ice anymore.

Granted. But you live in Antarctica and all your beer if frozen.

I wish I was an Astartes!

Granted. You are an Astartes. A 30mm miniature Astartes made from pewter.

I wish that beaches everywhere allowed topless women.

snurl wrote:Granted. You are an Astartes. A 30mm miniature Astartes made from pewter.

I wish that beaches everywhere allowed topless women.

Granted, but they're all deformed, ugly and transexual topless women.


I wish people would type properly on the internet.

Granted. Everyone only types the word properly over and over again. Soon the entire thing shuts down due to lack of interest.


I wish Games Workshop's prices were a lot lower.

Granted, but then they rise again immediately.

I wish school wasn't such a bitch.

Granted! School is now the easiest thing ever. You begin to feth off in fear of ever graduating from the beloved place.

I wish that there were no ugly women.

snurl wrote:Granted! School is now the easiest thing ever. You begin to feth off in fear of ever graduating from the beloved place.

I wish that there were no ugly women.

Granted, but without ugliness beauty looses its meaning and the effects of your wish become redundant.

I wish for flying bouncy castles with multilazorz.

Darkvoidof40k wrote:

Granted, but without ugliness beauty looses its meaning and the effects of your wish become redundant.

I wish for flying bouncy castles with multilazorz.

The great master co Multilazorz, C.S. Goto comes down from his pedestal, hands you a Multi-lazor, and tells you to go to his 6-year-old's birthday. There is a bouncy castle. You explode in awe.

I wish I could get a girlfriend who wouldn't dump me after the first date.

chowderhead13 wrote:

Darkvoidof40k wrote:

Granted, but without ugliness beauty looses its meaning and the effects of your wish become redundant.

I wish for flying bouncy castles with multilazorz.

The great master co Multilazorz, C.S. Goto comes down from his pedestal, hands you a Multi-lazor, and tells you to go to his 6-year-old's birthday. There is a bouncy castle. You explode in awe.

I wish I could get a girlfriend who wouldn't dump me after the first date.

Granted, but that chick has a d*ck
I wish My xbox was back from being repaired

Granted, your Xbox is back from being repaired..... But it can only play Viva Pinata!!!

I wish the warp was real and all the gods blessed me!

battle Brother Lucifer wrote:

chowderhead13 wrote:

Darkvoidof40k wrote:

Granted, but without ugliness beauty looses its meaning and the effects of your wish become redundant.

I wish for flying bouncy castles with multilazorz.

The great master co Multilazorz, C.S. Goto comes down from his pedestal, hands you a Multi-lazor, and tells you to go to his 6-year-old's birthday. There is a bouncy castle. You explode in awe.

I wish I could get a girlfriend who wouldn't dump me after the first date.

Granted, but that chick has a d*ck
I wish My xbox was back from being repaired

Granted. Your Xbox is shipped back, but the TSA has arrested it for refusing to go through the full body scanner.

I wish people wouldn't make fun of my music.

Granted. You now have 9 testicles, 27 breasts, and smell like a rotting corpse. You become a joke, and are shunned from all existence.

I wish people wouldn't make fun of my music.

Your wish is granted, its pretty easy to not make fun of music when it doesn't exist. Thank you for playing...Twisted Metal

I wish I could run a 4 minute mile.

Granted. Too bad everyone else runs 3 minute miles

I wish all my ork boyz were painted to my exact standard

(btw, I used to run a 5 min mile )

Granted. They were painted to your exact standard. Then you stripped them and decided to paint them all again.


I wish to be in the Hobbit movie.

snurl wrote:Granted. They were painted to your exact standard. Then you stripped them and decided to paint them all again.


I wish to be in the Hobbit movie.

Granted. but,The movie is the most horrible movie. You go bankrupt. You die a homeless,poor,hermit.

I wish.....Icould have Megan Fox as my girlfriend.

Granted, Megan Fox is your girlfriend...too bad she's packing a nasty STD.


I wish I could pass all of my tests.

Granted. But everyone scores higher than you.
I wish I was the Black and White space marine on the Black and White bike.

Granted, too bad everyone's too busy buying the latest from Litko Aerosystems to notice.

I wish I could get a copy of the games I wanted a week before they released.

Granted- You get the games 1 week early but that means you also now work at a GW store and have to paint the stuff up for demo games while trying to sell Island of blood to passersby.


I wish I lived in Florida.

Granted, but then the chinese invade it for no reason and kill you all.

I wish it would rain chocolate bars regularly.

Granted- It rains chocolate bars regularly. Big 5 pound bars that can kill when they impact, not to mention causing insane property damage and the odor of mouldy chocolate everywhere.


I wish that Scare Factory made cheaper animations.

Granted, but they're all gak now.

I wish that Lynx actually smelled GOOD and that it does make you a babe magnet.

And don't any of you say granted but I should've gone to specsavers (if any of you guys have seen that advert ).

Wish granted. But,you only attract terribly ugly girls.

I wish that I could time travel.

Granted- You can time travel. But only into the future, 1 second at a time.


I wish I could go back in time.

Granted, but you materialize right on top of your grandad, which is both impossible and confusing, leading to both of your particles being annihilated because of confuzzlement. The universe then implodes.


The End.

I wish to unwish the last wish.

Granted- except not. By granting your wish to unwish the last wish it means that the last wish hasnt been wished yet and therefore cannot be ungranted. Crap.


I wish I knew more about the space and time continium.

Granted, but by the time you know everything you're five billion years old and you have a heart attack and die for no apparent reason.. other than the heart attack.. ¬.¬

I wish.. for my own personal army of unbeatable, unmovable, unkillable, undestroyable, indestructable, permanent, unwishable, super Space Marines! All with their own shades and cowboy hats and .44 Magnum's that fire boltgun rounds that are S10.

Granted. Good luck getting anyone to play a game against that though.


I wish that people who cheat at games would all get a red dot on their forehead so you could tell who they are.

Granted. Hey, is that a zit on your face?

I wish for my last wish, except this time I'll clarify for you that I meant real-life warriors.

Granted. But you soon learn just how much it costs to feed a crew like that and before too long they realise that they are all a lot badder than you are so they all elect a new leader and head off on their own.


I wish that my neighbors would rake up their own bloody leaves for a change.

Cleverly played, Snurl.

Granted, they rake up all their leaves and put them in your garden in a nice big mountain.. of leafy-ness.

I wish for more wishes.

Granted, you have three more wishes but you use them all to buy all the pieces to make single space marine.

I wish that I could get into cegep and play rugby for them

Lord of battles wrote:Granted, you have three more wishes but you use them all to buy all the pieces to make single space marine.

I wish that I could get into cegep and play rugby for them

granted, but you die on the first day

I wish that my next wish can't be ruined.

Granted, but as 'ruined' is a matter of perspective, it will be ruined in your opinion, but not in the opinion of the person who will grant your next wish, hence making this wish redundant.

I wish to be the president of the ICC - International Cheese Conglomeration.

Wish granted. But,everybody all of a suddenly hates cheese now,thus meaning you go bankrupt.


I wish I could have a bodygaurd of Rocket-launcher armed Dwarves.

Granted. But unfortunately you keep leaving them behind because they cant keep up with your faster movement.

I wish for an automatic leaf raking system.

granted. But it just dumps them somewhere else in your yard

Also, I wish for every gw model, ever made.

Granted. You now have EVERYHING ever produced by GW. You soon are crushed under an immense heap weighing several tons of lead, pewter, and plastic.

I wish for snow at Christmastime.

Granted. all the snow is concentrated onto your house and it caves in.

I wish to be strong enough to support the weight of all the gw stuff.

Granted, but you've already been crushed to death.

I wish for

(sorry, cant see link on mobile)

You wish for a crappy animation? Granted. You can watch it on youtube anytime you want.

I wish to be revived strong enough to support the weight of the minis.

Granted, but then your wish is ungranted.

I wish you wouldn't call that animation crappy, because I personally find it pretty damn good considering that it was made by some random bloke.

I didn't bother to watch it, I've seen all of them. Is it the one that the TAU kills a TERMINATOR with a SWORD?!?!?!?!

Nope. That one was crap. This one is good.

Oh. Maybe I will watch it.

I wish that I could watch animations.

Granted. but you must watch it fer all eternaty and nothing else. and the fact that it's just about a Banana dancing around. and it's realy crapy.


I wish I could have a bodygaurd of Raptor Sith w/ the intelligence of a human.

Granted, but the human in question is a vegetable

I wish for unlimited wishes

Granted. You have unlimited wishes as long as you keep playing this game.

I wish that they would make affordable and reliable flying cars.

Granted, but then the terrorists steal 'em and use them to reign terror and destruction on civilization, and eventually the world explodes and the Emperor is born.. then he remakes the earth.. blah blah blah.


I wish the girls in my school (or at least a majority of them) weren't so damned stupid.. and lets face it, they could use an overhaul in the looks department as well.

Granted. They are so beautiful and massively intellegiant they start to enslave the entire earth and everybody is forced to be a slave and live like animals.

I wish I could have a Emperor-class Titan

Granted. You now have an Emporer class Titan. And a fethload of angry neighbors who want the blasted thing off of their lawns and driveways.

I wish it was still Halloween.

Franted. But that means every day & night you have annoying little 8-year-olds at your door wailing for candy. Not to mention....THE DEAMONS COMING OUT OF THE WARP!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! KILL!MAIM!BUUUUUURN!
srry,inner chaos marine just came out lol.

I wish I could use The Force.

Granted, but you can only use it to move tiny objects.

I wish I was Perfect in every way and immune to a wish backfiring.

That violates the genie's rules. No wishes for you, ever

Mordoskul wrote:Granted, but you can only use it to move tiny objects.

I wish I was Perfect in every way and immune to a wish backfiring.

Granted. You are a flawless statue in a wish free land.

I wish it was time to go home.

Granted. It's time to go home, because you just got fired.

I wish thiere would be peace between all humans.

Granted. But there is no peace imbetween all humans.

I wish for swastika shuriken. And yes, they DO exist.

Darkvoidof40k wrote:Granted. But there is no peace imbetween all humans.

I wish for swastika shuriken. And yes, they DO exist.

Granted..but they are all stolen from you and used to decorate some Skinheads Christmas tree..
I wish for boxes and boxes filled with Praetorian minis.

Granted. You just can't get to them in anyway.

I wish for.. a secret multi-trillian-dollar company that specializes in making power armor and lasers and multilazorz and training people to ride on top of tanks that have lasers in power armor whilst wielding multilazorz! Bwa-hah-hah.

Then we would take over the world. And we would kill ex-president Bush because he is a massive, epic, inconceivably miserable failure.

Granted, but the people would chafe under your rule and will later rise up and mount your head upon a pike while your body is consumed in green flame.

I wish i had a twinky.

Granted, but you and your twinky are vaporized by multilazors as my army of power-armoured-dudes retaliate your my-head/spike-mounting.

I wish my imaginary power-armoured-dude-commanding self was still alive. Permanently.

Granted... But its a wholewheat twinkie. edit: What the heck! Ninjad! Allright...

Granted, but he will become insane after living permanently.

I wish it was me who made, painted and owns the Iron Hands terminators that won Golden daemon this year.

Granted, but you trip over while holding them and they fall down a gutter. On top of that, you've got a bloody nose! On your birthday an' all! Lucky you!


I wish for endless cupcakes.. in warehouses.. in Canada..


edit:

Mmmmm...cupcakes...

Granted. but the cupcakes are all burnt to a crisp. and they have raisins! eww!


I wish I could have a Lightsaber.

Granted, but it explodes when you try to turn it on and you spend the rest of your life as a sad and lonely parapoligic.

I wish I trancended mere physical space.

Granted. You have trancended mere physical space. When you were just an infant and you barely remember it.


I wish that the GW plastic dwarf miners didn't suck so much.

Granted. They don't suck as much as they do already, they suck even more than that instead!

I wish..for..um..monkey-waiters that serve wine.

Granted. You have monkey-waiters that serve wine. Thousands of them. They have short attention spans. Problems ensue.


I wish that GW's plastic dwarf miners are on par with the quality of GW's older metal miner figures.

Granted, but the miner models degrade in quality to match the plastic dwarf miners.

I wish I had a deliberating disease that ruins my life and the lives of those around me.

Granted, but then it suddenly mutates and its effect is magnified by a factor of a billion, ending the lives of everyone you just mentioned. Ohh yeah!


I wish for nothing.

granted. You have nothing. nothing at ALL! NOT EVEN YOUR SOUL OR YOUR RIGHTS OR ANYTHING!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I could have a terminator power armor

Granted. You have a terminator power armor. But whoever wore it before you had an awful case of the crabs and left their little friends all over it.

I wish that my FLGS was much closer to where I live.

snurl wrote:Granted. You have a terminator power armor. But whoever wore it before you had an awful case of the crabs and left their little friends all over it.

I wish that my FLGS was much closer to where I live.

Granted. With your FLGS moving, customers don't come, and the shop goes under.

I wish I could have wolverene-like claws.

Granted. You have claws like wolverine. Your last name is now scissorhands. Wait until you try to brush your teeth.

I wish my cat had not died.

Granted. Your cat lives forever, but get life in jail.

I wish I had an awesome car

chowderhead13 wrote:Granted. Your cat lives forever, but get life in jail.

I wish I had an awesome car

Granted. But you go out with a bunch a friends to a party, get drunk and crash it, causing massive payment in the damage you caused to some stranger's property.

I wish I could get pretty women to love me.

Granted, but then she disappears under 'mysterious circumstances' and everyone squints at you suspiciously. Until she's found 6ft under in yo garden. Then the police come round.. blah blah blah..

I wish for

Granted, but your flesh turns into necrotic pus, and you die a slow, painful death.

I wish I had another wish

Granted, but your next wish will be screwed up by whoever grants it.

I wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish
I wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish
I wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish
I wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish
I wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish
I wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish
I wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish
I wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish
I wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish
I wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish for wish

In other words, we're all running out of things to wish for.

Granted, but nothing happens

I wish I had an idea of how to beat Geneforge 5

Granted, but your idea fails. Then your computer blows up. And your house falls down. And Hitler comes back to life. Oh now just look at what you caused with your damned wish.

I wish for a Handgun. With Ammo.

Granted. You are now in the armed forces in some godforsaken country surrounded by enemy AFVs but you have your gun and ammo.

I wish for more cowbell.

Granted. But then you turn around and get hit by a train. The driver is a cowboy and screams "yeehawww!" in delight at the sight of your innerds getting splattered everywhere. He then picks up a needle of 'dat dere dodgy gak' and injects some more in. The right eyeball of your dead body is stuck on the windscreen and sees that the cowboy has a handgun and ammo and seems to have spent some time in the armed forces in some godforsaken country surrounded by enemy AFVs.

I wish for weiner dogs. -cue Frazzled-

Wish granted. Ya now have wiener dogs. All of them w/ rabies.


I wish that I could see the new Harry Potter movie with out suffering the chance of being rediculed.

Granted. You go to the latest show on Sunday evening and find that almost no one else is there.

I wish that new works by JRR Tolkien would be discovered.

Granted, but they've all been burned and they're in ash form.

I wish for robot chicken.

Granted. You have robot chicken. There is no type of energy that can empower them.

I wish the girl I like likes me too.

She does but she really is a man (owned!)

I wish for a big cookie!

Granted. But the sheer mass of the thing wrenches the earth from orbit and sends it hurtling twoards the sun.
You are sued by a spanish woman.

I too wish for more episodes of Robot Chicken.

Granted. But they are incredinaly horrible,unlike the past ones.

I wish I could be famous and rich.

Granted. But it's dirty money from horrible work. You eventually get booed out of town and arrested.

I wish I had a bad attitude.

Your bad attitude makes everyone scared of you and you live your life never seeing another person again.


I wish for cheese.

Granted. Codex Cheeeese.

I wish for a CSM Legion Codex.

Granted: http://www.scribd.com/doc/30591124/Chaos-Space-Marine-Codex-Zureal13


No, this post is not part of the game. The poor fella just deserves to stand a chance without running two lashwhip-winged princes.

Carry on.

Granted... But you have to will still have to use space wolves codex or the BA codex to win any games.


I wish for the next poster to have some altruism and not make my wish backfire.

Granted. You have just wasted your wish all by yourself, no need for outside wish-warping needed.

I wish to find buried treasure in my backyard.

Granted, but it is soooo old that it crumbles in your hands.

I wish for more things to wish for.

Granted, but they are an illogical mess, and the Dakka community excomunicates you

I wish I could wish

Granted, but only for a fraction of a milisecond and you miss your opportunity.

I wish for salmon! Endless hordes of salmon! Even though I'm vegitarian.. hmm..

Granted. You get so much salmon that you drown in it.

I wish that I would draw a comic that would be accepted in a newspaper, and then becomes very popular.

Granted! Your comic has been accepted into a newspaper; only the newspaper is produced by your brother who only put it in because mommy told him too.

I wish some one (not me) would write up the single word story thread on dakka for us to read!

Granted. It is around the middle of page 37 or 38 and it is hilarious to read aloud. But if you ever do everyone will thing you are a bit touched in the head.

I wish the buttons were bigger on this tiny keyboard.

Granted. Each key on your keyboard is now the size of your fist.


I wish I didn't have to go to school today.

Granted. You are now in an old folks home remembering how much you dodged going to school.

(and if you saw these keys you would call them buttons too)

I wish for some snow to fall soon.

Granted. snow falls but it's blocked you inside your house and you starve to death after eating all the provisions in your house

I wish for a bag of sandwiches.. aaaaooouuuuuu

Granted. You have a bag of sandwitches made from mouldy bread with meat that a zombie wouldnt eat.

I wish for a snow blower.

I wish some one (not me) would write up the single word story thread on dakka for us to read!

I have already done that a few times!

Granted, but it explodes, and you die alone in the snow of third degree burns.

I wish for a 5th edition chaos codex

Granted, but it's absolute cheese, co-written by CS Goto.

I wish for True-Scale models for everyone.

Mordoskul wrote:I wish for a 5th edition chaos codex

Darkvoidof40k wrote: http://www.scribd.com/doc/30591124/Chaos-Space-Marine-Codex-Zureal13

undivided wrote:

I wish for True-Scale models for everyone.

Granted. Everyones models are now True-Scale. Now no one has anything to complain about.

I wish for GW to release all new updated Chaos Dwarfs.

Granted.

They just added spikes to the normal dwarves.


I wish for a Frank the Bunny costume that doesn't suck

Granted, but now everyone thinks you are a furry.

I wish a had a pair of nice wooly socks

Granted, but the darned things itch so much. should have gone with 50/50 acrylic!

I wish my fishtank was less of a deathtrap lol

Granted. It's now less of a deathtrap. But,now your coffe maker is a deathtrap.

I wish I could get the newest,most powerful AlienWare computer.

Warlord Gazghkull Thraka wrote:Granted. It's now less of a deathtrap. But,now your coffe maker is a deathtrap.

I wish I could get the newest,most powerful AlienWare computer.

Granted. You get the best one they make. But you have to assemble every single part. Have fun.


I wish for faster internet service.

Granted. Your inernet service is so fast that you overheat your pentium, causing to explode, resulting in your death.

I wish that snow/lack of power/both would mean my school will be shut today.. I hate Tuesdays..

Granted. The snow causes a power failure resulting in your school being shut down. A fire breaks out while nobody is there leveling the place. You are now bussed to a school many miles away that is filled with chavs.

I wish that shoveling snow was more fun.

Granted. someone invents the turbo-shovel and you're the first to get it. you spend all day outside in the snow and your girlfriend leaves you. eh you were probably better off

I wish that I could get my brothers to stop playing world of warcraft

Granted. Your brothers stop playing WoW and instead start to re-enact it in real life. LEEEEROOY JENNKKINS!!!

I wish for a Cadian Battleforce.

Granted. But it's empty. And GW customer support suddenly takes the short end of the budget and all the people who work in it quit due to low pay.

And then GW went bust and all its remaining products are shipped off to some warhouse in Switzerland.

I wish for sheep.

Granted. You have a whole flock of sheep. You also have ten times as many hungry wolves all around them. Good luck.

I wish everyone had a job that they like.

Granted. But,due to liking there job so much,they all die via fatige. The entire human race is exterminated.

I wish my forum rank wasn't " Yellin' Yoof ".

Warlord Gazghkull Thraka wrote:Granted. But,due to liking there job so much,they all die via fatige. The entire human race is exterminated.

I wish my forum rank wasn't " Yellin Yoof ".

Srry, I mean Roarin Runtherd.

Warlord Gazghkull Thraka wrote:

Warlord Gazghkull Thraka wrote:Granted. But,due to liking there job so much,they all die via fatige. The entire human race is exterminated.

I wish my forum rank wasn't " Yellin Yoof ".

Srry, I mean Roarin Runtherd.

Damn
I wish I could have said 'granted, now its Roarin Runtherd"
but you RUINED it!


Granted. It wont be at 250 (I think) posts

I wish that everything in my life from this point on will be extremely terrible

Granted. Everything is terrible and you discover that reverse psychology doesnt affect wish granting genies. And your forum rank stays stuck on roarin runtherd.

I wish for more pie.

So what you are saying is, I got exactly what I wished for?

/thread

.........er, yes.

Now you have really gone and done it.

You win.

Looks like my reverse-reverse psychology worked.
Har Har Har

Damnit! BBL has broken the laws of nature! Again!

chowderhead13 wrote:Damnit! BBL has broken the laws of nature! Again!

Again?
I forgot the last time I did it. It wasn't in this thread was it?

You have defied the laws of logic and everything!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE UNIVERSE WILL IMPLODE IN 3...2...1...

BANG.

Oh look a 'big bang'. Universe restarted. Game continues.


I wish that nobody would use reverse-psychology in this thread to break it.. or atleast that wish-granters would do some thinking in order to avoid it.

Granted. Uh yeah its just granted

I wish i could find a RP thread that wasn't already going, dead and half buried, or a complete load of phooey. (i'm actually serious so PM me if you have a spot)

Granted. You start your own RP thread and it is just exactly what you want. But nobody plays it.

I still wish for pie.

Mukkin'About wrote:Granted. Uh yeah its just granted

I wish i could find a RP thread that wasn't already going, dead and half buried, or a complete load of phooey. (i'm actually serious so PM me if you have a spot)

Feel free to join RZ&LWC.. only 23 pages in!

Seriously though. Feel free to join. It's all a good read, and you'd be missing out if you didn't join.

snurl wrote:Granted. You start your own RP thread and it is just exactly what you want. But nobody plays it.

I still wish for pie.

Yo pie is poison so yo pie poisons you and yo die.

I wish for SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWW!!!!!W!!!1!


Or atleast more of it..

Granted. There is so much snow. Yo are happy. but it's due to a Nuclear Winter. You dont survive.

I WISH I HAD A BETTER F***ING COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Granted. You have the finest machine that Alienware has to offer. But it runs only Linux.

I wish I knew more about Linux without having to look everything up.

Granted, but you become an arrogant elitist and alienate your friends and loved ones.

I wish for the Earth to plunge into the sun.

Granted. But I fly to the moon and survive with the moon nazis.
I wish yellow was easier to paint for my bad moons

Granted. Now everyone paints badmoon yellow orks, and GW runs out of yellow. FOREVER.

I wish for a flying moped!

Granted
You crash it in a wall after 3 seconds

I wish for brushes that never get ruined.

granted. But,you got no paints. EVER.

I wish that I could have nothing but have everything while im in the hospitale but Im actualy at home and i wish for every wish to be unwished then re-wished and un-wished again.

(say that ten times fast)

Granted. I think. You are now Cthulhu. Dead and dreaming in Ry'leh.

I wish for a new Truck.

Granted. Here's your shipping crate, good luck assembling it.

I wish that instead of not going to school today because I'm ill, that I was not going to school because of more torrential snowfall.


Well, it seems about half my posts on this thread are snow-related.

Darkvoidof40k wrote:Granted. Here's your shipping crate, good luck assembling it.

I wish that instead of not going to school today because I'm ill, that I was not going to school because of more torrential snowfall.


Well, it seems about half my posts on this thread are snow-related.

I could probably do that.

Your wish is granted. You are not going to school because of major snow accumulation and you are not sick. But you are going to have to tunnel everywhere for awhile.

I quickly wish for a Chilton's Ford truck manual.

snurl wrote:

Darkvoidof40k wrote:Granted. Here's your shipping crate, good luck assembling it.

I wish that instead of not going to school today because I'm ill, that I was not going to school because of more torrential snowfall.


Well, it seems about half my posts on this thread are snow-related.

I could probably do that.

Your wish is granted. You are not going to school because of major snow accumulation and you are not sick. But you are going to have to tunnel everywhere for awhile.

I quickly wish for a Chilton's Ford truck manual.

Granted. But it's in Chinese.

I wish for an M9.

Granted, But its a 1000:1 scale replica. Have Fun
I wish laptops were better than desktops.

Granted. Laptops own desktops. Except their battery life is only ten minutes and they weigh three times as much as before.

I wish I knew how to read Chinese.

Granted you now know chinese however everyone else decides to speak portugese and the only chinese is spoken by you.
I wish that america wasn't so paranoid about terrorists like The imperium is about heretics.

Granted. But then the CIA takes you out under suspicians that you've defected.

I wish for ice cream.

Granted. You have Ice Cream. Somewhere out in the snow, you forgot just where you put it.


I wish for more chocolate.

Granted. However it comes in the form of everything that is snow is now ice cream. Just remember to leave the yellow.
I wish tyranids were cute and nice and didn't engulf planets with their nastyness.

EDIT: Sorry ignore me.

Granted however it isn't chocolate.
Same as last late wish.

Tyrannids are now covered with pink and white fuzz and purr when you scratch their belly. Then they eat you.


I wish for more real chocolate.

You get chocolate however it is delivered to you by the very pink and white fuzzballs that ate me. They then decide that you are a nice snack and addition to your chocolate that they ate on the way over.

I wish umbrellas were free.

Umbrellas are free. Rain now costs on a per drop basis, and plunges the world into financial turmoil.

I wish for real chocolate that I can eat without being eaten in return.

Granted. you are thrown up by the fuzzballs who ate you and even get chocolate from them for recompensation however due to the financial turmoil it is immediateialy repossesed up to the last block. savour it. ssaavvoouurr iitt...

I wish people understood that NZ is not a part of auzzie

Granted. NZ is now colored differently from everywhere else on the maps and globes and in reality as well. Trees are blue and the ground is red. No confusing that ever.

I wish I could afford my chocolate.

Granted. Luckily for you they manage to stabalise the economy and you are able to afford your chocolate. however old corporations have fallen and given way for new eco companies that produces sugar free, fat free and devoid of flavour chocolate.

I wish it was auzzie that was different.

Granted. Auzzie is now a strange land where people there have pink hair and all the trees are red. No one ever dies there, no one has a care.
(apologies to the B-52s)

I wish to be in Switzerland where old craftsmen still make fine chocolate.

Granted. But,you are a slave and forced to eat moldy cheese.

I wish I could save good ol' Ab Lincoln.

Granted however in the mix-up of you saving him you get trampled by a press mob.

I wish that wishes as well as chocolate grew on trees.

Granted. Wishes and chocolate grow on trees. Tall trees. And you have no ladder.

I wish the Swiss would feed their slaves chocolate.

Granted. But the chocalate is so disgusting you die instantly.


I wish..........I could have the Ork megaforce set.

Granted. You have the Orc Megaforce set. But there is no glue or paint to be found anywhere and it contains ten million small parts.

I wish I was not dead and have some fine chocolate.

Granted. But you lose everything you own and is dear to you. But still have Chocolate,you do haha.


I wish for a whole bunch of Coca Cola.

Granted. You have a whole bunch of Coca Cola. An oil tanker full to be precise. But nobody cleaned the tanker before filling it and its decaf coke and the neighbors want the thing out of their driveway NOW!

I am glad to be alive with chocolate again. I wish for normalcy.

normality restored. everything is normal. Just normal. possibly a little too normal. there is no longer anything extraordinary. No rinkly-dink rednecks seeing UFO's. No random terroriosts that have a fetish for blowing up tall buildings. In fact everyone is now exactly likeyou. and they want chocolate.

I wish that superman was your mum.

Granted. Superman was my mum once when my real mum was out of town for a few weeks.


This normalcy thing doesn't sound too bad. I wish it would not continue.

damn i think this game is just starting to get hard but any way life goes back to the way it is except for an unexplained increase in ufo sightings and terrorism attacks.

I wish that RvB was handed out to one and all.

Granted. RvB was handed out to one and all. But it was printed in black and white.

I wish for more UFO sightings.

Granted. Because UFO sitings have risen rednecks are now accepted widely as phrophets. The Tin shed religion subsumes the planet along with you. just remember to stay off the dang roof.

I wish that vampires were not sparkly.
F**K*N TWILIGHT!!!!!

Granted. Its now 40 years ago and a company called Hammer films has just released "Dracula" starring a non-sparlkley Christopher Lee.


I wish for more "walking dead" as soon as possible.

the old cliche of zombies surrounding you and some survivors in a mall. after weeks they break in by nawing through a wall. however in the process they have lost their teeth and you are gummed to death.

I wish nerds were critically acclaimed as the saviours of the near dead world that is earth.

Granted. The Nerds are indeed the saviors of the Earth. Except no one will listen to them so they all go LARPing instead.

I wish I had a Camera.

You have a camera however when you take it on the trip of your life and have taken loads of pictures you realize that the memory was full of pictures of badly painted gaurdsmen/wood elves. all of your pics never got saved. just whose gaurds/wood elves pics are they then? Dnn Dnn DNN DNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

I wish for tasty mexican food without consequences that should affect me or anyone else in the vicinity of 50cm of the food. The food should also have wings to fly into my mouth.

Granted, but the wings get stuck in your throat and you die as a result of the wings and not the food. The hidden C4 inside the tasty Mexican food then explodes, killinge everyone within 60cm's of the food. Yeah, really.


I wish for a Tocco Lite.

granted. You have a Tocco Lite. You drop it into the loo before you ever get to turn it on.


I wish I had more memory for my camera.

You get your memory but as you are updating your camera the camera shortcircuits killing any photos you had or the chance of taking any.

I wish C4 mexican food didn't have wings but not legs either.

Granted. Your Mexican food now slides around like an amoeba, shooting out spicey pseudopods from random directions.

I wish I had backed up my photos before trying to upgrade my camera that I dont have.

You had backed up the files but unfortunately the pics contain a virus which experts have compared to the latest in a series of mysterious events. The one being compared to is the killer mexican food. But how is it all connected. In this convuleted world where quirky wishes can be granted at any time is there actually a greater force at work or a subtle plot going on in the background. Experts can only guess on this.

I wish that mexican food had a base instinct in it to only killl french food and people.

Granted. Also, you are in France and are now a French citizen. Boom.

I wish for rabid guinea pigs

Granted. They bite you. Then they bite your mom and she makes you get rid of them.


I wish for french fries.

granted. but there burnt to a crispy black.

I wish........for chips.

granted. Millions of casino chips rain from the sky covering you in them. just before you die from the wieght of them you think to be a bit more specific next time.

I wish for a purple balloon attached to an anteater.

Granted. You have a purple balloon attached to an anteater tattoo on your bum.

I wish for a reasonably sized portion of delicious unburnt french fries in a location close to me so that they may be eaten without incedent.

Granted, you eat them, however in a previous event you had been killed, so they didn't taste very nice considering your lack of upper torso.

I wish for a new Alien/Predator/Aliens Vs Predator film that IS GOOD.

Granted however for some reason all the way through the movie you get a sense of Deja Vu and feel as if you have seen it before and eventually that feeling turns into a... ?!?!?!?!?!?! RRRRIIIIPPP!!!!!!!! "OMZG WHAT THE F**K IS IT?!?!?!?!?!" "AAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

I wish that people were dead.

Granted, but then they become undead and start devouring flesh. Then, more people are dead. Then more people become undead..

I wish for an M16 with a chainsaw-bayonet attachment.

Granted however owning such a model requires 213,748,234.5 pages of paper work to fill out. Oddly enough most of theem just ask you for your name.

I wish that winnie the pooh was a twilight vampire killer in disguise. I also wish that I am not a Twilight vampire or anything else like that.

Fine, granted. You're not a Twilight vampire. You're just roadkill, plain 'n' simple.

I wish for F:NV.

Heh took a little googling to figure this one out. you get F:NV but however just as you buy it an EMP blast is released that disables anything electronic all over the world. Have fun.(coincidentily there is lately a story in the newspaper about a supposed UFO falling on a Farmer Gragget*cough*redneck*cough* right after the EMP blast.)

I wish i knew what happened to Winnie he Pooh now that he is a vamp hunter.

Granted. You now know that Pooh-Bear was just a disguise that Peter Cushing wore when he used to portray Van Helsing in all of the old Hammer Films.

I wish to be whole again so I could eat my french fries.

Granted. You eat the fries but, "waitta minute,those aint fries! SH*T! That be mini TNT sticks! Kaaan!" and you blow up before you taste those delicious cooked patato sticks


I wish for All dressed flavoured patato chips.

WTF. the magic genie in the sky does not compute. ERROR ERROR. A large section of the sky falls and crushes you.

I wish I knew what he meant.

Granted. I think he wants potato chips that taste like all of the different flavors at once. Like BBQ, Sour Cream and Onion, Ranch all put together.
Then again, He's Canadian so it could mean something different. Anyways you get your chips but the Mounties come and take them away before you can eat any.

I wish I didn't die so often.

Granted you now have a secretary to assign which days you die. Luckily for you it only averages about once a day.

I wish that Dogs ate hamburgers

Granted. Dogs ate hamburgers. Then they pooped them all over your carpet.


I wish somebody else in my neighborhood would rake up their flippin leaves for a change.

Granted. there is some dodgy seedy old guy with a rake for a hand. Only then you realise you live on elms street.

Oops forgot my wish.

I wish for a sand pit

Granted. But,you fill it w/ water and becomes quick sand and you drowned.

I wish that Irvin Keshner didnt die.("Oh!why doe the legends die! WHY!!!")

Granted. He is not dead, but he has been cyrogenically frozen in a block of carbonite.

I wish that Freddy would finish cleaning up these leaves before it snows in the morning.

Granted. Then he kills you.

I wish more people would read and comment in my threads

Granted. But your threads soon fill with spam and trolls and are usually derailed before they hit page 2.

I wish it would not snow here.

Granted. It snows everywhere else.

I wish models were cheaper to buy

Granted. Models are much cheaper (like they should be). But now they are sold by the case only.

Snowing everywhere else is just fine.

I wish to spend all day painting figures tomorrow.

Granted. 24hrs straight painting with no stops.

I wish everything was more entertaining

Granted, you gain the mind of a 4 year old.

I wish I had more berzerkers

Mordoskul wrote:Granted, you gain the mind of a 4 year old.

I wish I had more berzerkers

Granted, but the Barbarians tear down your house and rape and pillage your town

I wish cheese would fall from the sky

granted. cheese falls from the sky however milk rises from the ground.

I wish that people were more like Caboose. He is a nice guy. But somewhat lacking. In brainpower.

Granted. Everyone is now lacking some brainpower. Chaos ensues on the roads because now there are a lot more real idiots trying to drive.

I wish for a good cigar.

close, but no cigar

I wish for a holiday.

Granted, today becomes official "Skin Evaelc Alive Day"

I wish for a wish that was wished by another wisher in the wish town of wish state of wish reigion of wish nation of wish continent of wish hemisphere of wish world of wish star system of wish cluster of wish sector of wish galaxy of wish universe

Granted. You get your wish but you have no idea what you wished for or where it might be.

I wish for less bills.

granted. but each bill costs as much as 1 million dollars. if your lucky.


I wish I could have the greatest Mandalorian costume EVAAAAR!!!!!!

wish granted, only it fits a toddler.

i wish for a cappuccino and a cookie.

What? a clapping chino and a wookie? you sick freak...

I wish fishes were wishes.

granted but all your wishes have swam away.
I wish I knew how to dance.

Granted. You are enrolled for the next 15 years in full time Ballet lessons.

I wish for more time to paint.

granted, you are able to paint...your house both inside and out.

I wish to be able to watch the tv shows I want.

Granted. But they are broadcast in Korean and subtitled in French.

I wish I had more time to paint miniatures.

lol, i can actually read some french so that's not that much of a problem.

granted, but you spill all your paint in the carpet and your wife makes you clean all the carpets in the house.

I wish I had more time to watch TV.

Granted. You have all kinds of time to watch TV. But there's nothing on but infomercials.

I wish I had not spilled my paint on the carpet.

Granted, instead you spilled paint on your wife's head.

I wish good shows were on, and not infomercials.

Granted. There is a lineup of the bestest Emmy nominated shows that there ever has been. And then the cable goes out.

I wish I had not spilled any paint on Mrs. Snurl's head. She would be.....angry.

Granted you spill it on the other person in bed with you which coincidentaly makes Mrs snurl still very angry as there is someone in the bed other than her and what the hell were you doin with the paint?????

I wish for a dollop of cream.

Granted. A crazy zombie clown bursts through your window and hits you with a dollop of cream that happens to be on top of a pie.

I wish paint dried faster.

Granted, it dries instantly as soon as you open the can.

I wish it was'nt so fething cold.

Granted, enjoy your 105 F heatwave.

I wish I had wolverine's healing factor.

granted, but you've also inherited his diminutive stature. (he's only 5'3)

I wish for a new job.

Granted but its working for wolverine.

I wish that llamas were everywhere

Granted. Suddenly there are llamas everywhere. They cause quite a rukus in traffic and the stores and make a big mess in homes and factories.

I wish for A happy holiday for everyone.

granted, but the days following the holiday are bedlam and mayhem, for the apocalypse happens.

I wish for a good birthday.

granted,but you have a horrible Christmas.


I wish fer Tacos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Granted. There is now a Taco Bell where your home used to be.

I wish it wasn't quite so cold outside.

granted a fiery comet has crashed into the earth and burnt us all to a crisp.

i wish for a good christmas as well as a good birthday.

granted,but you go broke due to spending too much on yo dream Christmas & birthday.

I wish I had everything.

you have everything, but you have no one to share it all with. you die of a broken heart.

i wish i could go to sleep right now.

granted. you fall alseep however when you wake up you see a handsome prince charming over you. wait a second...

I wish that rihanna was assasinated. And her songs banned so that none had to listen to them ever again.

Granted. Rihannaa is gone but they play all her tunes on the radio as a memorial for months.

I wish my birthday was on Christmas.

Darned ninjas.

your birthday is on christmas, however everyone is so absorbed with the holiday bustle that they all forget and you are miserable.

i wish that handsome prince from the last wish looked like the blond guy from Celtic Thunder.

Granted. He looks just like him but talks like Donald Duck.

I wish they hadnt cancelled my shift tonight.

Granted, not only did you have to work, but you will be working double because your co-worker called in.

somehow the donald duck thing didn't bother me too badly. he doesn't need to talk much.

I wish for time to paint elves this weekend.

Granted. You have time to paint Elves but they wont hold still.

I wish for a cold beer.

Granted, enjoy your Liquid Nitrogen Beer.

I wish all models came to life whenever in a game, rules and stats all represented correctly by them.

Granted. They come alive and immeadiatly flee from the titan sized players.

I wish for a tasty cheeseburger.

Granted, however the cheeseburger was heavily loaded with artery blocking fat and cholesterol. You die tasting the best cheeseburger ever made, but die of a heart-attack immediately after taking one bite.

I wish the models in the previous wish didn't flee and believe that they are actual characters from the 40k-verse.

yes however as soon as the battle is over your CSM's decide that the foam just isn't for them and you have a full scale revolution. wait make that 1:70 scale. or something around that.

I wish that people like tau as friends.

Granted. Everyone likes the Tau as friends. Then they realise that the Tau are out to take over the world and beat them senseless.

I wish that my neighbors would rake leaves just one time.

Yes they rake your leaves just... this... once... Just... This once...

I wish for a bowl of noodles so that i can give it to the Tau as a peace offering. Even though we are beating them senseless.

Since you beat them sensless they can't accept it.


I wish for unlimited warhammers painted with my skill

Granted. You have unlimited Warhammers painted with your skill. You have no idea where to put them all.

I wish for my friends to find happiness.

Granted. They find happiness. but then they neclect you and you die of a broken heart.


I wish I had everything AND be able to share it.

Ouch.

Granted. You have everything and you are able to share it. In fact, you must, because people want their clothes and food and toothbrushes back.

I wish my heart was unbreakable.

Granted. Your heart is tungsten Carbide. Too bad it doesn't pump blood well.

I wish Biology wasn't a class.

Granted. Biology is now instead a televised competition where you are the test subject and people take turns poking you with sharp objects.

I wish to get the job that I interviewed for.

Granted however your friend accepts the job you turned down and is now living the life as ceo of the company. meanwhile you are still sitiing in a menial office.

I wish that we had crunchy instead of smooth peanut butter.

Granted. You have crunchy peanut butter. You need a chisel to get it out of the jar.

I wish to have a good night at work.

you have a good night at work. Maybe a little too good and when you get home Mrs snurl slaps you and then leaves. you start to wonder if it was the lipstick on your neck... hmmmm

I wish for a 12inch subway chicken fillet with extra cheese

Granted only you drop it in a mud puddle before getting the chance to enjoy the cheesy goodness.

I wish for a cup of coffee.

Granted. A cup of great coffee. But its cold.

I wish to play a game of WHFB again soon.

Granted. But that is the last one ever.

I wish I could have 2 Million dollarz.

Granted, you receive 2 million chocolate dollar coins.

I wish for snow on Christmas day.

Granted. It snows on Christmas day. Four feet of it. Happy Digging.


I wish for snow on Christmas too, but about two inches would be just enough.

Two square inches of snow falls. Enjoy it while you can.

I wish for a protein shake that actually tastes good.

Granted. You have a Protein shake that tastes good. Fer Now. Later on it will mess with your innards something terrible.

I wish for an extra hand.

granted you have an extra hand. however your friend gets jealous and tries to cut it off for himself.

I wish for a pile of gummi bears and jellybeans. That don't kill me.

Granted. You have a pile of gummi bears and jellybeans. That don't kill you. Because they are made of plastic and cannot be eaten.

I wish to hit the state Lottery for a nice amount of cash.

Granted. You win the lottery and it's a good sum of money. However the fine print states that the payments will only be $1 a month for the next hundred and fifty years or so.

I wish to have fun at my family christmas party.

Granted, you have fun, but it's the last time you see your family because they all decide to move away to different countries.

I wish for my fever to go away so I don't have to take a bloodtest for Dengue Fever this Saturday

your fever goes away. 5 minutes later it comes back. turns out it has a good union.

i wish that tellytubies were my friends.

Granted. The tellytubies are your friends. Your only friends. No one else can stand being around the fething things. And the one with the handbag keeps standing way too close to you.

I wish for a picket fence for my yard, to keep the leaves from blowing into it.

you have your picket fence but for some reason it arrives in a bright pink. you are now the laughing stock of the neighbourhood.

I wish wishes had more meaning.

Granted. Wishes have more meaning. But they are still just a silly game.

(sidebar- Ever in an RPG where somebody makes a wish? Smart players try to word it so that the wish cannot backfire. This thread is proof that it can't be done)


I wish to be able to go backwards in time.

Granted, but you're stuck in the time period you went to, forever.

I wish my headache means that I'm turning into an Alpha Plus Psyker.

Granted. You are turning into an Alpha Plus Psyker. With a Headache. Every time you use your power it will get worse. Try not to think about it.

(so far so good....)

I wish to get back to the future.

Granted, enjoy your DVD of Back to the Future, but unfortunately you're still stuck in the past and can't watch it.

I wish I had an Imperium-brand Alpha Plus Aspirin.

Granted. You have an an Imperium-brand Alpha Plus Aspirin. It is immediatly confiscated by the inquisition and you are suspected of heresy.


I wish I was an Imperial Inquisitor.

Granted, but you died on your first mission, to capture me. You were subsequently ripped inside-out along with your team with just one glance from me.

I wish I had taken the Aspirin earlier, so the Inquisition couldn't confiscate it.

Granted. You had taken the Aspirin earlier, so the Inquisition couldn't confiscate it. But they did anyway, by tearing out your guts along with it.

(Gruesome, no?)

I wish to go to Florida to the Big theme parks.

Granted. You are forced into working in the "Small World" ride after vomiting on a 3-year-old.

I wish for PONIEZ!!!!!1!!!!one!!!!!

Granted. You get a pony. From the Taxidermist. It makes a nice lamp for your garage.

I wish to go to Universals Islands of Adventure.

granted. But you cant get off.
I wish I had 2 million dollars of REAL money

Granted, real dirty money. Interpol eventually arrests you for theft.

I wish I knew everything.

you do know everything, but some of the information such as the inner most thoughts of your coworkers, particularly the fact that the creepy guy in the next cubicle wants to do naughty and unspeakable things with you drives you insane.

I wish that they would make a new christmas episode of spongebob.

Granted however it features such amazing actors like barbara striesand. enjoy the nose.

I wish that life was good. and i didn't have to worry about a thng. like the song.

granted. but,you are alone for your entire life. you die of lonliness.


I wish I could save JFK

O.k you save JFK but then Lincoln Kills you. Just as you die you are very confused.

I wish for a pet shark.