Granted, you need bolt cutters.

I wish I could fly

Granted. You can fly! But you have trouble with up. You have mastered straight down. Try it and see.

I wish every night was like this.

Granted. Every night is exactly like this because you are caught in the same night over and over.

I wish for a lovely sunny day.

Granted, welcome to Venus

I wish for a cup of water

Granted. You have a cup of water. But you have nothing to put it in and it runs through your fingers.

I wish for more Dakka.

Granted. People you've met on Dakka start showing up at your house and workplace. Nothing better than Dakka invading your real life.

I wish that every night at the library will be nice and quiet like this, and that the history major army guy comes in tonight.

Granted, it's quiet, but not until after it closes for the evening. The "history major army guy" does indeed come, with a very friendly handsome friend of his. They spend their entire time at the Library fixated on each other.

I wish I could turn invisible whenever I wanted to.

Granted. You can turn invisible whenever you want to, however, you cannot turn your clothes so. If someone knocks you unconscious, you will end up naked wherever you turned yourself invisible.

I wish that I were not sleepy right now.

Granted, it happens when nobody is looking at you.

I wish I was done with my Physics.

EDIT - Ninja.

Granted- But now youre being arrested for posession of white substance

Granted- but the answers are all wrong

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner

Granted, tonight you will dream that you were a ...

I wish Drk_Oblitr8r changed his avatar, it creeps me out.

Granted- he changed it to a transvestite chimpanzee eskimo..... and youre turned on

I wish I was the king of the world

Granted, but you are creeped out even more.

I wish I had Xbox LIVE.

Granted. You're king of the world in your own little mind.

Granted, but the time you have it is so short it doesn't make a difference that you had it for that time at all. And then you realize, ps3's are awesome because you don't have to pay for internets.

I wish for DEATH TO THE NINJAS!!!

Granted- but invisible samurais are on the rise

I wish I had a rubber suit.

Granted. You have a rubber suit but it won't come off and people keep calling you Gumby.

I wish for a perfect day tomorrow.

Granted- too bad youre Bill Murray in "GroundHog Day"

I wish my town had a "Drive thru liquor house".

Granted, although you get caught for drink driving and they impound your car.

I wish the world would explode

Granted- but unfortunatly humanity abandoned Earth for Jupiter and left you behind.

I wish my parents were rich.

They secretly were. They had millions of dollars in stock, but then the economy crashed and they lost it all.

Ok, wish not granted since no wish was made.

I wish to be an Olympian demigod.

You were, in your previous life. Then you died.

I wish I was as good as DashofPepper at 40k.

granted. you are but then all you models are stolen by raging jealous people form mars.

I wish that my English class was more fun.

Granted. But,you were kicked before it got fun.

I wish I had millions of dollars to spend on 40k and fantasy whenever and however I wish with no back fires.

Granted, but you have no money to buy food, lodgings or clothing, and must wander the streets naked and living only in small huts made from battalion boxes.

I wish I was taller.

Granted. You are taller. Five whole millimeters taller. No one notices.

I wish I never have to visit the dentist again.

Granted. You no longer go to the dentist because you have no teeth.
I wish that tomorrow were not Friday. (Yes I know that's a weird one.)

NinjaS!
Granted. Tomorrow is not Friday. It is Saturday, you have been asleep for 36 hours.

I still wish to avoid the dentist.

Bring. Back. The. Chaos. Dwarfs.

Okay, I want this to blow up in my face in an imaginitive fashion, so think of something good.

Granted- but he notices your absence and stalks you
Granted- GW gives you 500 boxs of Dwarves, but then when you finish painting them, they explode in your face.

I wish that people didn't forget about granting or asking wishes.

Granted. Everyone forgets this thread ever existed.

I wish I could remember this thread.

Yes, you may not remember it now, but it will haunt you in your dreams!

I wish I didn't have horrible night-mares.

Granted. You stop eating chocolate before bedtime and they go away. Except for dreams about this thread, which linger on.


I wish there was a cure for cancer.

Granted, although the cure give you some other nasty disease

I wish I could speak every language in the world

Granted. You can speak them all but you have no idea what you are saying in any of them.

I wish I knew.

Granted. But everything you know is wrong.

I wish I could teleport anywhere, but not inside something.

Granted. You can teleport anywhere but not inside anything. Which means you can't teleport anywhere. (Inside New York, Inside the solar system)

I wish I was not correct.

Granted- You are wrong and always will be. On your wedding day you say "I do" and your fiance screams "YOUR WRONG" and jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge
I wish Nazi Zombies is real

Granted, but if you die in it, the world will revert to this reality...

I wish the wishes below on this page were this one.

Granted- but everyones pissed about it!

I wish my wish was the same as The Bringers last wish.

Granted, but everyone really doesn't like you for it.

I wish my last wish.

Granted. But it makes some sort of crazy cycle of dumb ass-ness. The universe implodes.

I wish that the universe did not implode.

Granted, but people must continue to do my wish for the rest of this page.

I wish people continued wishing this for the rest of the page, without the universe exploding.

Granted- People countinue you wish for the sake of dumb-assness.
Same as last wish, sadley.

Granted. All wishes are the same dumb thing from here on out. Except this next one.

I wish this spamfest would end.

Granted. But every other forum on Dakka Dakka is a spamfest now.

I wish that I could have a REALLY good computer( as mine is a piece of crap,sadly.)

Granted, but it's the super computer used by NASA to monitor satellites.

I wish I could shoot laser beams out of my urethra.

Granted, but to do so requres you to insert a new car battery in you anus each week

I wish i had a super power

Granted. But it's super trolling,as a result you have no friends.

I wish I didn't have a NASA computer.

Granted: Now you have no computer and can longer access dakka

I wish my van didn't light on fire

Granted. But it's engine is flooded.
I wish I could have the Delorian from "back to the future".

granted, it takes you right to the big bang, then breaks down


I wish nail polish remover didn't give me a sore head

Granted. But it gives you a sore neck now.

I wish I didn't go to the Big Bang,because there would be no such thing as time before or during the Big Bang.

Granted. You go to the Eye of Terror.

I wish for power armor.

granted, it is dropped from the arvus and lands on top of you

I wish for a lasgun

Granted, it's the plastic kind that comes in the Cadian Shock troops pack.

I wish for no consequences.

Granted. No consequences, positive or negative. Welcome to limbo!

I wish for a milkshake.

Granted, but it brings all the boys to the yard.

I wish that wishes would repeat themselves

granted, but the wish that repeats itself is "I wish there was a pile of crap on Drk__oblitr8r's head"

i wish i was Slaanesh

Granted, you die from all the STDs in the world tomorrow

I wish to be turned into a dildo

Granted, but you will never be used.

I wish I could sleep.

Granted, you turn into sleeping beauty, your only chance to wake up is to be kissed by a spotty nosed prince that think's he's "all that"

I wish I was paid twice as much in my job

Granted. But you then get fired with out pay.
I wish Mass Effect 3 come already!!!

granted but your console chews up the disk then bursts into flames when you put the disk in

I wish the world was normal

Granted. But every one dies and the world implodes due to how normal everything is and, let's face it, that's what makes the world cool!

I wish I have pancakes!

Granted, country pancakes

I wish I was a movie gunsmith

Granted, but a reel of tape strangulates you.

I wish I could wake up, early. For once.

Granted, you wake up, once. Eventually, when you fall asleep again, you die.

I wish for a milkshake.

Granted, you become lactose intolerant. So intolerant that the mere word milk causes your organs to rebel against you, killing you.

I wish for ...

granted, those elipses grow so big that they become sentient, blaming you for trapping them in the computer screen they send a power-surge through your computer, killing you

I wish I had been born on a battlestar

Granted, you had been born on one, but have no recollection of it whatsoever. Life goes on.

I wish for a sarcasm denotation mark for chat and email.

granted, but it's 10000000x10000000 pixels, and takes 2 hours to load

I wish I could remember my time on the battlestar

Granted, but you only remember it in dreams, and you never recall those dreams upon waking.

I wish my bed would make itself up.

Granted, there's your hypothetical bed that makes itself up. You believe it's there, until one day you realize you've been sleeping on the floor all that time.

I wish to drop the hammer and dispense some indiscriminate justice.

Granted, though Ironically you drop it and it lands on your own head, dispensing its Justice on you instead.

I wish I could fly, and without the need of a medieval catapult either

I shouldn't.

Granted, but you fly too close to the sun AND IMPLODE.

I wish I wasn't hungry :(.

Granted, you're not hungry, you're starving and malnourished.

I wish to call down the thunder then reap the whirlwind.

Granted, but you get detected and die.

I wish POWER OVERWHELMING.

Granted. But you die from how overwhelming it is!

I wish I could have a Krogan as a friend!

Granted, but you are unable to talk him down one day and he kills you.

I wish I could have a pet Terminator, approximately the size of 2".

Granted.Here you go.

I wish my Starcraft II download would finish faster.

granted, however it's only installed non-zerg kerrigan's butt, hang on a second, these are meant to be bad things

I wish for a ghetto-booty

Granted. You are given something valueable from a kid that lives in the Ghetto.

I wish for my headache to go away.

Granted, the expanding tumor in your brain killed your pain receptors. Have a nice day.

I wish that WoW was free to play.

Granted, you have unlimited access to the trial version.

I wish for a Guardian Force.

Granted but all your gaurdians are are painted in white.Only white

I wish i could grow hair from anywhere, anytime i wanted it

Granted, but the hair is thick and prickly and can't be shaved off. Eventually, the hair takes over.

I wish I was a power ranger.

Graneted, but not only are you the pink ranger, you alos always get left behind, your other rangers hate you

I wish there were actual super-villans

Granted but one enters your house late one night rapes all of your family and then sets the house on fire, with you alive

I wish i had a large amazingly painted dark eldar force

Granted, amazingly gakky.

I wish for schizophrenia.

Granted your Schizophrenia is caused by a large amounts of drugs which kill you moments later.

I wish My bus driver wasn't an illegal mexican

Granted, he's now a paraplegic man, the crash leaves you with less limbs than you had when you got on the bus.

I wish every human had 12 digits on each hand and we lived with a base-12 system of mathematics.

My bus driver is a Chick sooo double weird

Granted, but everyone finds 12-base too difficult so everyone gets two fingers chopped off and go back to a 10-base system.

I wish I could just teleport to work and the shops whenever I wanted to save walking or driving.

Granted, but you can't take your clothes with you.

I wish for the lulz.

After a while the lulz leaves you feeling empty and very alone.

I wish the macho guy in the pub would suddenly lose his belt and his trousers would fall down around his ankles

Granted, but he turns around and see's you laughing, thinking it was you that did it he punch's you so hard he knocks out 12 of your teeth.

I wish I was the best Halo and Call of Duty player online there ever was and could never be beaten.

Granted, however that doesn't matter because you're banned from playing any COD or Halo games online.

I wish to recieve the pain, and the pizza in 30 minutes or it's free.

Granted. You get your pizza for free. and you die from the pain before you could eat the pizza.

I wish for... everything that is not anything but still not nothing.

Granted, you get something. That something ain't cheap.

I wish for a turtle.

Granted, but your turtle is lonely and you can't find any friends for him. His loneliness makes you sad and because of this you never find joy in any action that you take ever again.

I wish for Dakkadakka to change all their Ork emoticons to squirrel emoticons.

granted. they all come with sound that constantly loops and can't be turned off. they haunt you in your sleep.

I wish I had Robot parts.

Granted your arms legs and the parts of your brain that control them are robotic you have no control over your life and you are forced to live a horrible life very concionsly

I wish People would click my pet demons and they would get awsome and never leave me or eat me or anything bad like that AKA we live happily ever after

Granted. They have leveled up (seriously, I clicked on them for ya).

I wish I could have a big screen TV.

You do. It only gets Oxygen and all the evangelical channels.

I wish I was best friends with Morgan freeman.

Granted. You are Morgan Freemans best friend. But his mellow voice soon lulls you into a state of unconciousness from which you cannot awaken.

I wish that whoever invented spam e mails would have to read and reply to every single stinking one of them ever sent.

Granted but after he does he hunts you down and rap*s you

I wish Disney channel wasn't much much less corney and the shows were funnyer

Granted. But Disney now has enough money to create a world wide empire were you must watch all the corny TV shows we all hate.

I wish I was a bad ass, like Commander Shepard... or Master Chief...

granted, you become a bad ass video game character, in an Erotic RPG

I wish I was a deathwatch marine

Granted. But you die in your first minute of service.
I wish I wasn't so poor.

Granted you becom so rich your wife starts cheating on you with your gardener and becomes a sluty greedy hoe and you are driven even deeper to porness

I wish people wouldnt give a crap about libya tell me about fricken japan and there dang crysises!

Granted. But we are too focused on that and a earthquake strikes were you live and no one is prepared and everyone dies.

I wish that Battlefield 3 came out already.

Granted.
sadly, its only half developed and gliches every 30 seconds making it inposable to play.

I wish i knew how this thread could still be going after almost 4 mouths

Granted, you read all the posts from start to finish. then you wish you hadn't wished to know.

I wish the Tau codex was released fully complete this week.

Granted. But it absolutely sucks.

I wish I could have lot's o' money!

granted you have so much money, in coin form, upon your person that you can't move, you starve to death

I wish I was high

Granted, however the genie thought you meant high as in 'a long way up in the air' and you fall to your death.

I wish my painting desk wasn't so untidy.

Granted, someone stole all your stuff!

I wish I could run as fast as the Flash super hero.

Granted. But you run into a wall and you're now a Vegtable your entire life.

I wish that I didn't starve to death.

Granted, this time you die of asphyxiation.

I wish for tiger blood and 7 gram rocks.

Granted but your bones are smashed as the genie drops the rocks(Millions of them) and you drown in the tiger blood

I wish my Demons and nids in my signature would level up again

Granted. I have clicked on them.
I wish this thread would continue.

And suddenly with a wave of magical pixie dust Evaelc returns to try to revive this once great thread However these attempts sometimes fail.

I wish for less chocolate and more lasagna.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You couldn't just let it die!

You get Chocolate Lasagne and a headache trying to find out why.

I wish threadromancy was immoral.

Sadly it is however noobs are ignorant of todays morals.
I wish I knew if the thread wanted to die.

Granted, and that's now, probably. In effect, you suddenly gain the knowledge of all your loved ones' eventual death-days. This gnaws at your psyche and eventually drives you to suicide.

I wish this was the last wish to be granted.

Good day to you, sirs.

Granted. That was the last wish. The next wish will be the first of the new wishes.

I wish SONY had not been hacked.

hahahaha. Granted however instead Apple gets hacked and Ipods go rampaging.

I wish that VG cats was the homepage for everyone.

Granted. But everyone goes insane because they don't know what VG cats are.

I wish Threadomancy wasn't a big deal.

Granted it isn't, however in every country there is a small cult that seeks out threadomancers and rip their spleens from their guts.

I wish that Good movies were playing at the moment.

Granted. Threadromancy is not a big deal. I was only joking and this thread was not quite dead yet anyway. Old threads revive with new life and fresh ideas. And the Dakkites rejoice.
I wish my phone had a bigger screen.

Granted it is the size of a plasma secrren tv...a 90in one
I wish i knew what threodmancy was(Whatever)

Granted. It means to bring a almost or completely dead forum that is suddenly rejuvenated.

I wish for moar DAKKA!!!!!!!!!!!!

*dead thread

Granted, however you keep wanting even more dakka, eventually being crusehed under it

I wish that the royal wedding didn't get so much news coverage

Granted instead you get powerpuff girls reruns on every station.

I wish that I could be bothered to mow the lawns.

(sweet, powerpuff girls, not seen that since p1)

granted, you mow everybody's lawn in the country, although you starve to death because nobody pays you

I wish I was a turtle

Granted. But you get knocked on your back. AND NEVER GET BACK UP!!!

I wish for cake that is NOT a lie.

Granted it is the truth but as TOK teaches us to find how we know something is true then it is unknown wether the cake is actually true or not. (IB reference)

I wish for a polka-dot pony.

Granted. You get a polka dot pony but all of the other ponies make fun of it and it becomes neurotic.

I wish for a good nights sleep.

Granted Your sleep is good and so is the night the night has never been so good causing most philosophers to postulate on this and forming radical ideas as to why the night is now good.

I wish for a perfect Burrito

Granted. You have the perfect burrito. Unfortunately it is only a replica from the Taco Bell scene at Tussaud's wax museum. But it sure looks perfect.

I wish I worked in the daytime like everyone else.

Granted. But you are for ever damned to be stuck in rush hour.

I wish that there was such a thing as a "Troll-jin" virus that infects the computer of every troll in the world.

Granted But because you invented it you are technicly a troll, soooo

I wish a few people would at least check out and join my rp =(

Granted. But the thread overloads due to too much awesome-ness and deletes your account in it's death throws.
(send me a link!)

I wish I had a chance to punch Osama Bin Laden in his stupid, cocky bearded face before he died.

Granted. But you are under the ocean when you do it and cant get enough power to make it a good one. And you are probably going to drown now.

I wish I knew how RP threads are supposed to work.

Granted. However, RP threads change how they work just afterwards.

I wish for the world giantest bowl of cereal.

Granted. It is one dambig bowl of Special K. Bon Appetite.

I wish my amp went to 11.

Granted, it can now go to 11, but it gets stuck there, and cannot be turned down. After a week, a neighbour snaps, breaks into your house and smashes your amp with an axe.

I wish I knew what to change my avatar too

Granted. You now know exactly what you want. But it will take years to find it.

I wish my neighbors liked loud music.

Granted, but then they play loud music all the time, and now you can't sleep at all.

I wish for games workshop to make an ad-mec codex without bad fluff and bad gameplay.

[(damn ninja'd, I'll leave this here though)Granted. They do, they enjoy the constant sound of Justin Beiber songs blaring 24/7, and despite your best efforts, you can't drown it out. Eventually, you can only speak using lyrics from his songs. The worst part is you don't mind]

Granted, games workshop does make an ad-mec codex without bad fluff and bad gameplay. The pages are blank.

I wish I could find what to change my avatar to immediately

Granted. You find it, but unfortunately the web address nulls each time you try and input it.

I wish I could have a pet zombie.

Granted. You get a pet zombie. However, at the exact same time, the zombie gets a new chew toy. Guess why.

I wish I was a special character in 40k

Granted, but you get instantdeathed by a callidus assassin (actually happened in the apoc game, the guy was LIVID)

I wish I could fart music

Granted. Talk about a foul note.

I wish there were better songs on the radio.

Granted, you can. However, you only do it once, as it's extreamely painful, and you spontaniously combust.

I wish I was a Daemon Prince special character

Granted. But you are never used on the battle field. EVER.

I wish for you not to be so serious.

Granted, but then he turns into the Joker.

I wish SEAL Team 6 was duly rewarded.

So do I

Granted, but we will never know about it because they are so secret.

I wish "Get Bin Laden" was an animated TV series.

Granted. It becomes so famous and so over-sold in everything it becomes another Star Wars.

I wish that everybody listened to Techno!

It's not my video, but it IS awesome!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7Sjy92gk3U

Granted. Everyone listens to Techno. Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.Everyone listens to Techno.

I wish techno was less hypnotic.

Granted. But it stops being awesome. way-to-go...

I wish you didn't eat mai cake... :(

granted,but your cake becomes a lie.

i wish i had more money.

Granted you now have anathor penny in your pocket

I wish people would join my RP Fall of the Riech

Granted, however the uncontrollable mass of people who joined got the thread locked for OT stuff.

I wish for an army.

granted,but they rebel.

i wish more people knew about heavy gear blitz.

Granted. But then it is discontinued causing people to go in a mad craze destroying all in there path.

I wish the cookie sword didn't break(reference to the "Continue This Story..." thread).

Granted. The cookie sword did not break. The world is safe once again. For now.

I wish I was at the beach.

But cthulthu rises just as you get there.

I wish i had a tame monstrous giant.

granted,but he stomps on all your houses.

i wish i was immortal.

Granted, but you spend forever alone after the rest of us die.

I wish for additional pylons.

You get so many the game deletes itself permanently.

I wish for my own population of people to manage and direct.

undivided wrote:Granted, but you spend forever alone after the rest of us die.

I wish for additional pylons.

im ok with that,heck id love it!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

granted,but you kill all of them with your corrupt ways.

i wish people would join my rps.

Ah, but they wreck the game because they are major tools.

I wish for more boyz!

Granted. But they loot alll yer stuffz and pound on ya!

I wish for deffkoptaz!!!!!!!!!

Granted. They crash immediately.

I wish for lunchtime to hurry up and arrive.

Granted, for lunch, you get beans.

I wish I was to become a god.

Granted. You are Lentillius, god of beans.

I wish the machine in the cafeteria sold beer.

granted, alcohol free beer

I wish i was a snob

Granted, you're a snob; nobody likes snobs.

I wish my character in the Catachan 222nd would survive his upcoming battle.

He does, but dies of the flu a day later.

I wish I was a Daemon of Malal.

granted,but the inquisition purges you.

i wish i didnt have to fix are lawn mower.

Granted. But you must fix your car now.
I wish for something awesome.

Granted, you get the awesome emoticon.

I wish for a Sguig army.

Granted, but you have to pay for it.

I wish for awesomesauce.

Granted,but you mistake it for normal sauce and die from drinking it cause it was to awesome.

i wish everything i imagined became reality.(and i can think up some weird stuff )

Granted, you're one of the Sucker Punch girls now. Eventually you either get stabbed, shot or lobotomized.

I wish for nerd raeg.

Granted, but nobody likes nerds and you are soon overwhelmed by people wishing to cut off your head with a spoon.

I wish for invincibility

granted,but superman gets jealous and attacks you and you fight forever.

i wish i could afford to eat at Genghis grill for every meal (best restraunt ever )

Granted, but it comes under new ownership, and the food becomes horrible, eventually you catch Salmonella and die.

I wish that nobody could mess up my wish

(had to do this)
granted,people mess up your life instead.

i wish i was awesome to the max!

Granted, but God gets angry and smites you

I wish that I will never lose the game!

granted,but now you cant ever win the contest. (opposite of game,if you think about it,you win.)

i wish for evil imps to kill people,but not me.

Granted, but the imps are smaller than 1mm, and they do nothing.

I wish for the zombies to not penetrate my last line of defense.

Granted. The zombies catch you napping at your first line of defense.

I wish that Ketchup came out of the bottle easier.

Granted. But it comes out too fast and ruins your meal.

I wish that I had gak loads of money to buy all of the stuff for my Warhammer: Fantasy Armies.

Granted. But GW raises prices again and you still cant afford it.

I wish for some new WHFB opponents.

granted,but all the people came from 40k,so the few left kill you for taking their opponents

i wish a zombie Apocalypse would happen,and me survive.

Granted, instead of dying, you become a zombie.

I wish for wings.

Granted, but you can't fly.

I wish for the lulz.

Granted. But you die from laughing too much.

I wish I'd get around to painting my Megaforce...

granted,but it looks bad.

i wish for their to be no more home work.

Granted, but now you have too much classwork.

I wish for an orbital ion cannon

Granted. You have an orbital Ion cannon. For about two minutes before the feds show up and take you and the cannon away.
I wish the Westboro Baptists would knock it off.

granted,they knock your head off.

i wish i could not die or age.

Granted, but you get bored of life and go insane.

I wish i had a portal gun.

Granted. But it's un-operational.
I wish that we all get what we want.

granted,but it comes with a bad twist

i wish i wasent grounded so my parents would give me my new laptop that came to day.

Granted. You are not grounded. When they hand you your new laptop your static discharge fries it, because you are not grounded.
I wish GW would send my WD magazine on time instead of late.

Granted. But they be crappy.
I wish for secret societies not to be secret.

granted,but they still run things in sevral countries.

i wish steam downloaded stuff faster.

Granted but the quality is terrible.

I wish I had a broadsword.

Granted. You get a broadsword. Then you put somebody's eye out with it.

I wish my FLGS was closer.

Granted, It is now located in your bedroom, I wish for my wish to wish for wishy wishes.

Granted, but due to infinite improbability, you implode.

I wish for death.

Granted. Face the lightless, endless void on your own.

I wish for FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Granted, but your grammatically incorrect post means that I grant the wrong wish, and you are now stuck in an endless paradox. (Doin a Dark)

I wish to be the Grim Reaper.

granted,but the other death god already took your job so your on the sreets.

i wish for things you cant grant.

Granted. But due to the oddness and improbability of this request, we all explode.

I wish for no one to explode.

Granted. People no longer explode. Missiles do though, and every single one that can just did.

I wish socks wouldn't smell so bad.

granted,but they still smell like wierd stuff.

i wish this wish was granted.

Granted, but because of this, you get banned.

I wish I was a Demon.

Granted. You are a Nurgling.

I wish this noise in my head would stop.

Granted, but it comes back in the afterlife, and you have it for all eternity.

I wish for a SPAS-12

Granted, you get a toy SPAS-12 that you can go pew pew with.

I wish for a cheezburger.

Granted. It consists of human flesh, out of date cheese, and blood foir ketchup. Yum yum.

I wish to be a Werewolf.

Granted, werewolf hunters find and kill you.

I wish for a pet dragon.

Granted, it grows bigger and bigger, and it because it wants to be self-reliant, it eats you.

I wish for an electric guitar.

Granted. But you get electrocuted.

I wish for nothing.

Granted, but you get something anyway.

I wish I knew where Waldo is hiding.

Granted, he comes out of hiding and kills you

I wish for a Gundam

granted,you get a gundam,a toy gundam.

i wish for are universe to become the 40k universe.

Granted. but due to the over all amount of awesome and blood shed, we all die.

I wish for it to rain. (sunlight is annoyingly bright and SOOO mainstream)

Granted. It wil take 38000 years to get that way though.

I wish for a new bike.

Granted. But it's crap.
I wish it didn't take 38000 years to rain.

Granted, but I assume that was a ninja anyway so wish not granted.

I wish for all of the above.

Granted. You get all of the above. Now where to put it?

I still wish for a new bike.

granted,its a kid bike.

i wish to rule the world.

Granted. But you die of a heart attack a minute later.

I wish for it to rain instantaneously!

Granted. It rains instantaneously. Somewhere else.

I wish to know what my cat is thinking.

Granted, you now know nothing.

I wish i had a fresh apple.

Granted, you get a fresh plastic apple from the factory.

I wish to know what will happen if one of these wishes actually gets granted.

Granted. You see nightmares unexplainable and you die from the stress of it.

I wish for chocolate rain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA

Granted. But your chocolate rain is polluted.

I wish GW gave away free stuff now and then like they used to.

granted,but is make gw go out of buisness cause they give out to much free stuff.

i wish i never had bad things happen to me.

Granted but it is acid rain

I wish for a suit of armor

Granted. But it's too heavy for you.
I wish for a dream...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dQHgrh4v8s

Granted. You get a dream. You can't remember it.

I wish for a robot lawnmower.

Granted, unfortunatly, it's a cylon

I wish for a cute girlfriend

Granted. But she dumps you tomorrow.

I wish that I had Xbox Live Gold

granted,but then xbox gets hacked to

i wish psn was up so i could buy brink.

Granted. But YOU get hacked also. (Howwda ya like THAT? lol)

I wish that nobody feared the Reaper.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUO_5EALZoM

Granted. PSN is up. But quickly crashes when everyone logs in at once.

I wish for more money.

Granted. But it's Monopoly money.

I wish that I had chocolate milk.

granted,but its not ummm,noramal chocolate

i wish for people to not eat my flesh...or other necisary parts.

Granted. They eat your hair.

I wish for TECHNO RA-RA-RA-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


-|-
/\

Granted. But you're stuck in it for the rest of your life and you die from withdrawal when you escape.

I wish for good wings.

Granted, they are tiny angel wings

I wish for a ballista.

franted,but you stolle it from the army so they bomb you to kingdom come

i wish for an impenetrable fortress,with me in it,and 100 years of food in it.

Granted. You get the fort and the food but there is no can opener.

I wish for a catapult, so that getting rid of things would be fun.

Granted. But you don't have anything to get rid of...

I wish for Geth.

granted, legion apears and snipes you from two miles away, you never even notice

I wish I was a woman

Granted. But you soon realise your mistake and spend the rest of your life bitching about it.

I wish Summer would arrive soon.

Granted. Welcome to Post-Global warming!

I wish for potato pancakes (hash browns)

granted,but vdey taste bad

i wish the appocolypse would happen

Granted. This Saturday around 6pm they say. See We Can Know .com for details.

I wish for some grapes.

granted. But they are moldy and dried out.

I wish for less cowbell.

Granted. BOC comes looking for you.

I wish there was something worth watching on TV.

granted. chuck,the event,the office,parks and recreations,community....

i wish i owned a gun

(thought people from Texas were born with guns)
Granted. You own a gun. It is locked in a safe and you have no idea what the combination is.

I wish for less traffic.

Granted, there are now no roads to have traffic

I wish for a war hammer (the weapon not the game)

granted,but your to weak to lift it.

i wish for.....

Granted. You get
Then you get the clap.

I wish for free beer.

Granted but its stale

I wish for a battle axe

Granted. You get an angry old woman.
i wish for nice cheese.

garnted,its really nice plastic cheese.

i wish for a moat.

Granted. You get a moat. It is full of mosquitoes.

I wish for good beer.

Granted, it's non-alcoholic beer.

i wish for a sword

ganted,you get a sword,threw your chest.

i wish for somthing which must not be said.

Granted, you get______


I wish for a cat

Granted, But it runs away.

I wish for a fantasy... of RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVING!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU67Evk_0so

Granted, you rave to death, in 2 minutes

I wish azgards cat would co back to him

franted,but it is feral and bites him

i wish for a hedgehog,and not a blue one!

Granted. It's a red one and punches you.
I wish for Pwnage on a grand scale.

(knuckles is an echidna )
granted,but it happens to you.so your black and blue buddy.

i wish for limited limitless ness.

(knuckles is an echidna )
granted,but it happens to you.so your black and blue buddy.

i wish for limited limitless ness.

Granted but because of this paradox the fabric of spacetime implodes and takes the universe with it

I wish time and space were fixed

Granted. They are. You can't move.

I wish for an extra day.

Granted. But this causes chaos (no, not the deamon kind.)to erupt in society due to the screw up in every one's schedule.

I wish for a mixture of flour, eggs and milk that was not a fraudulent statement.

Granted. You get the goo from the bottom of the kitchen trash can.

I wish for an extra 10 minutes.

Granted, you get an extra 10 minutes of brutal torture before you are killed

I wish for food

Granted. But it has FAAAAAAAAANCY FOOOOOOOOOD POISONING!

I wish for no trash can goo.

granted,you get normal goo instead.

i wish space and time werent fixed so we could move.

Granted, but now we can no longer exist.

I wish for magic powers.

Granted. You can pull ten million kleenex out of your sleeve.

I wish for the best wings ever.

Granted. The chicken wings are as tasty as poisonous.

I wish for 1 billion dollars.

Granted. You have one billion dollars. In pennies. They are not wrapped, nor stacked.

I wish to have a good pizza.

granted, but your freind comes and eats it.

i wish for the billion dollars of pennies to be mine

granted, they are yours, the are now flying towards you at 100mph, there is no way to dodge

I wish for all the money in the world to be loaded onto a spaceship and shot into space