Granted. it becomes so popular that Cthulu comes out of the ocean and shakes your hand-whooops he crushed you with his finger.

I wish that...

Wish granted but then Cthulhu kills you in real life.
I wish Matt Ward dies of Natural Causes in the next week.

Granted. You take his place, and realize how much you LOVE ULTRAMARINES AND GREY KNIGHTS.

I wish wars not make one great.

Granted. But genocide does.
I wish that genocide didn't make one great.

Granted, but now committing heinous war crimes does.

I wish heinous war crimes didn't make one great.

Granted, now Frosted Flakes make you great.
I wish for blue shoe laces.

Granted. The blue shoelaces are venomous snakes. Yikes.

I wish for all trolls to go away.

Granted. The grammar nazis chase them off.

I wish the flooding had not happened.

Granted. But The Flood happens, and you are one of the guys who gets mutated. 0.o

I wish for EPIC TECHNO RAVEING TO BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Granted. It begins. Somewhere you are not.

I wish the telephone pole had fallen somewhere else.

Granted.... it fell on to something that creates even more inconvience for you.

I wish reality tv would go away.

Granted. But the cast of Jersey Shore, now out on the streets, moves in with you and continues to do all of those shenanigans that we all hate them for.

I also wish realty TV would go away.

Granted... but it is replaced with The Farm Report. you die of boredom.

I wish for some real rain fall in Oklahoma.

Wish granted, Oklahoma was blessed with 186 days of rainfall...the state is now a giant lake.

I wish my air matress didn't have a hole in it.

Granted. Your air matress now has a great big rip in it instead.

I wish that Circus Tents were as light as they look.

Granted, But they fly away.
I wish that- //404 ERROR WISH NOT FOUND//

Granted, -----------------. (The computer just died)
I wish that Games Workshop wasn't so expensive.

Granted, but now it's so cheap that all the rabble and riff-raff start playing.

I wish Sorscha's Hammerscythe wasn't so bent.

granted,now its a hammersword.

i wish for some epic meal tonight.

Granted, you get a meal of Ramen... in epic scale.

I wish Microsoft made something that doesn't suck.

Granted. Microsoft now makes vacuume cleaners.

I wish for a few days of good weather so I can finish painting.

Granted... you get 4 days of good weather.... followed by 40 days of the worst weather imaginable.

I wish College football would not start the season with "sure win" games.

Granted, now it starts with "sure loss" games.

I wish it was cold and foggy all summer long.

Granted. During the winter, spring, and summer, however, it is a constant 100 degrees. Everything goes to gak, and we all die.

I wish for my Thunderwolves to come.

Granted. Now you have a mess to clean up in your carrying case.

I wish for Big Pumpkins.

Granted, but they're rotten and fall apart when you touch them.

I wish whoever designed the lid for Starbucks coffee cups would burn in a flaming pile of poop.

Granted, they die a flaming stinky death... but the lids continue to be made.

I wish I had some hotdog buns to go with the hotdogs I have.

Granted. You have hotdog buns. But not nearly enough dogs to fill them all.
I wish my pumpkins were not rotten.

Granted, now they're on fire.

I wish I didn't have to go to school early tomorrow.

Granted. You have to go to work instead now.

I wish this paint would dry faster.

granted,it instantly dries when air touches it. good luck painting anything.

i wish for the emperor to die and all his subjects to grow a a brain and realizes its for the best.

Granted. It is discovered that the emporer died years ago. His subjects invent a religion and worship him as god.

I wish there were more hours in a day.

Granted your standard day is now calculated on the lunar rotation..... your "day" is now 708.72 hours long.... enjoy.

I wish I could find the two minis that have gone missing from my army case.

Granted... It turns out you accidentally swallowed them. You can either wait for them to come out the normal way, or have an operation.

I wish I had a functional thunder hammer and an energy source for it.

Granted, but it's so heavy you can't lift it.

I wish there wasn't so much homework for English X.

Granted. There is no homework at all. The whole class is a joke, and the instructor doesn't care. You regret the waste of your time.

I wish GW would create some fantasy building kits that are not covered with skulls.

Granted. They are covered in Femurs now.

I wish my copy of Minecraft wasn't messed up.

Granted. It's now messed down.

I wish I knew what I was doing.

granted,but its what your doing in the universe as a whole. you cant stand the truth and commit suicide.

i wish i could stand said truth without killing myself.

Granted, but since it is utterly uninteresting, you look for something else to occupy your mind.

I wish my weekend fell on an actual weekend.

Granted. However, as what used to be your weekend is taken away from where it used to be your weekend, it is no longer a weekend, and thus it cannot be placed where you want your weekend since only weekends can be placed where you want your weekend, and now you have no weekends at all, only something which was formerly a weekend but was not. Got it?

I wish there was no problems with my teeth.

Granted... they all just fall out... no teeth... no problem.

I wish I knew what I want for supper.

Granted. You know what you want. How to get it eludes you.

I wish for more weekends.

Granted, but by wishing for more weekends you actually force the Earth to create more days. Infact we now have 742 days in our year. We have 14 day weeks, which there in gives us 12 day work weeks, but you get 53 weekends every year instead of our standard 52. 1 year's time is now more than double what it was...all because you wanted more weekends.

I wish I didn't have to work this evening so I could just play Space Marines on my xbox 360.

Granted, you decid not to work and get an F in class.


I wish for them to make a GOOD world War Z movie.


the one right now had running zombies. what. Max Brooks SAID, that zombies lack the motor control to even climb stairs! also, its about multiple accounts!

Granted.... but it bombs with the test audience so they change it to give it more general appeal...... and it actually sucks more.

I wish Deadliest Warrior would take on "fantasy creatures" more often, like the up coming Vampires vs Zombies episode.

granted. but the vampire and the join forces and attack the crew. no more show.

Granted, no one can see what Ineptus wished for


I wish I can afford to buy a Forgeworld Warhound Titan

Granted, but you soon discover that it is being made as "Finecast" and decide to spend the money on something really special...... like dinner and a movie with a significant other.

I wish I had more energy to paint.

Granted, but that energy comes from a coal burning power plant and the Obama administration has targeted them and promised to make their operations cost prohibited. Enjoy your next electric bill.

I wish I had more Skaven in my army.

Breotan wrote:Granted, but that energy comes from a coal burning power plant and the Obama administration has targeted them and promised to make their operations cost prohibited. Enjoy your next electric bill.

Why am I reminded of this scene......

Breotan wrote:I wish I had more Skaven in my army.

Granted.... you now have more Skaven.... but for some reason they are in your Wood Elf army....

Granted... but now they are fighting with dark elfs to figh 40k.
I wish I could get space hulk,

HAZZER

Granted. But you get eaten by 'nids.

I wish to be the greatest troll with no repercussions!(And since I said, "with NO repercussions", that means you can't make my wish turn against me, because that is my wish to have nothing bad happen. See, I'm already on my way.)

Wish granted. But the world implodes around for being so perfect.

I wish to be a flame belching dragon king.

Granted but you runaway somewhere and are so hungery that you eat yourself.

I wish I could have world domane!

Granted, but your subjects would eventually grow tired of your rule and launch a successful revolution.

I wish someone would make Call of Skyrim 4: Modern Dragon Slaying.

Granted, but it would be so perfect that God would start playing it and then the world would become Satans playground, since God has no interest on watching over it due to the game.

I wish to rule Dakkadakka.

Granted. You are Yakface.
I wish for White Dwarf magazine to be good again, filled with cool articles, new optional rules and serialized fiction.

Granted, but Yakface is displeased and starts a Dakka civil war, thus bringing ruination upon us all.

I wish the world didn't blow up

Granted, but it sure wont get any better to live in.

I wish that the world would be like Skyrim.

Granted, but you get eaten by a Dragon.

I wish I had more time to play video games

Granted, but you can only play Wii Fit.

I wish my ipod touch was not broken.

Granted, but you have to buy a new one.

I wish to rule the world!

Granted, but you die of a heartattack immediately.

I wish I wasn't ill.

Granted but you must bathe in nurgle goo every day for the rest of your live

I wish I had an infinite supply of bacon.

Granted, but it's canadian bacon!

I wish I was the very best, like no one ever was!

Granted. The world is a violent place where dragons attack and lay waste at will. No one there can talk except by CG tree style responses.
I wish for new WHFB opponents.

Granted, but they soon reveal to be WAAC players and beat you in every match.

I wish that I could understand furry hating.

Granted, but this knowledge replaces other knowledge, you now forget the names of everyone you know.



i wish i had the money to buy a new iPod touch.

granted. But it's blood money.

I wish to start my Catachan Imperial Guard army as soon as possible.

Granted, but as soon as possible turns out to have been yesterday, and you have missed your chance and may never start it.

I wish I could breathe underwater, without having to live in water permanently.

Granted, but you start slowly turn into a fish.

I wish dragons were real, and that I would be one of them :3

Granted, you now live in Skyrim. Unfortunately you are soon killed by an adventurer.

I wish I never had to go shopping, but all the things I need and want would appear as and when I needed them.

Granted. But then your mom throws you out when shes had enough of it.
I wish that the truth would be obvious.

snurl wrote:Granted. But then your mom throws you out when shes had enough of it.
I wish that the truth would be obvious.

Granted, but the truth is only obvious to you as everyone else is ignorant to the truth and you are locked away in a mental asylum due to "insanity."

I wish that I was invincible/immortal without the whole aging forever thing.

Granted, but you'll catch sickle cell disease and be miserable

I wish I had a pocket of infinite holding to carry all my junk in

Granted. But the thing you want most will always be out of reach on the bottom.
I wish the christmas cookies had not run out.

snurl wrote:Granted. But the thing you want most will always be out of reach on the bottom.
I wish the christmas cookies had not run out.

Granted, but you are buried beneath a mountain of them, and die of dehydration.

I wish I had some Swooping Hawk Exarch wings for a model I'm buying.

Granted, but it is 3 stories tall...

I wish i could find the time to paint all of my guardsmen.

Granted. You find ten minutes and dunk them all in latex housepaint. Jobs a good 'un.

I wish everyones army was fully painted to golden demon standards.

Granted, but then everyone would be just like you, in looks and personality.

I wish that I would be the most handsome person in the world :3

Granted. Everyone just got a bit uglier.

I wish I knew what GW is thinking.

Granted, but the unthinking stupidity and mindless buisness plan drive you mad. You are reduced to a quivering wreck drooling something about "raising the prices on finecast to attract more hobbiests"

I wish I was in Edinburgh.

Granted. You are in Edinburgh. No one notices.

I wish the game store was closer to where I live.

Granted, you now live inside the game store.

I wish I didn't have to learn a foreign language for school.

Granted, but you cannot communicate with anyone, as you only know the grunts and squeaks used by our earliest ancestors.

I wish for a small amount of cheese.

Granted. You find it in the mousetrap under the sink.

I wish my local shop stocked forgeworld.

Granted, but they'll only carry Minotaurs accessories and such products you'd have no need for

I wish I had 65$ on paypal to buy something with

Granted, but the item is sold just as you get the money.

I wish there were no apocalypse predictions.

Granted. It already happened and you are the sole survivor.
I wish work was more fun.

Granted. You are fired and now you have lots of free time .
I wish that world wont end.

Granted. It wont but you will never know.

I wish for GW to start giving out free stuff with WD subscriptions again

snurl wrote:Granted. It wont but you will never know.

I wish for GW to start giving out free stuff with WD subscriptions again

Granted. They give out live grenades.

I wish there would be no draw-backs to my wishes.

Granted. Now they simply dont work at all.

I wish for some cold beer.

Granted. Unfortunately, you have no way to open it.

I wish I had a can of Mechrite red spray paint.

Granted, but it clogs the first time you use it.

I wish I hadn't hurt my elbow.

Granted. You hurt your head instead.

I wish they still made bleached bone spray paint.

Granted, but GW announces a price hike when its released.

I wish to understand life.

Granted, but the answer drives you insane.

I wish I had my Xbox Live back.

Granted. There is a live Xbox growing out of your back. And loading games is painful at best.

I wish GW would slash its prices.

Granted. But the models are now terrible quality(Even worse then the first batch of Finecast).

I wish my paycheck would come faster.

Granted. your paycheck comes faster, but is only one quarter.


i wish i could rule the world.

Granted. You rule but are asassinated within minutes.
I wish for Superbowl tickets.

Granted, but the stadium falls on you.

I wish my everyones life was perfect forever (stop dat)

Granted. But everyone else's sucks, and they kill you out of envy.

I wish I had more than a quarter

Granted. After a thorough search of your couch, drawers, coat pockets, and vehicle you now have two quarters, some dimes and a nickel, along with some pennies and bottle caps.

I wish for a Patriots win today.

Granted, they win. But after beating the other team, they all get beaten to death by the other team's fanatical fans.

I wish I had a lucky penny.

Lyzin Locrian wrote:Granted, they win. But after beating the other team, they all get beaten to death by the other team's fanatical fans.

I wish I had a lucky penny.

It brings you great fortune.... of everyone else on earthwho then mob you to death.



I wish nothing bad could ever happen to anyone.

Granted, everything bad happens to you instead.

I wish for a robot buttler who obeys the 3 laws of Robotics

optimusprime14 wrote:Granted, everything bad happens to you instead.

I wish for a robot buttler who obeys the 3 laws of Robotics

Granted. He gets his mates to kill you for slavery.

TheRobotLol wrote:

optimusprime14 wrote:Granted, everything bad happens to you instead.

I wish for a robot buttler who obeys the 3 laws of Robotics

Granted. He gets his mates to kill you for slavery.

That is still in violation of the 3 laws

optimusprime14 wrote:

TheRobotLol wrote:

optimusprime14 wrote:Granted, everything bad happens to you instead.

I wish for a robot buttler who obeys the 3 laws of Robotics

Granted. He gets his mates to kill you for slavery.

That is still in violation of the 3 laws

Alright let me try. Granted, but all your robot can do is walk slowly forward and make beeping sounds. It also requires 12 hours to charge its batteries for every hour its active. That's not against the laws.

I wish that a 5000 pound weight would fall from the sky and crush me flat.

Lyzin Locrian wrote:

optimusprime14 wrote:

TheRobotLol wrote:

optimusprime14 wrote:Granted, everything bad happens to you instead.

I wish for a robot buttler who obeys the 3 laws of Robotics

Granted. He gets his mates to kill you for slavery.

That is still in violation of the 3 laws

Alright let me try. Granted, but all your robot can do is walk slowly forward and make beeping sounds. It also requires 12 hours to charge its batteries for every hour its active. That's not against the laws.

Bravo

Lyzin Locrian wrote:
I wish that a 5000 pound weight would fall from the sky and crush me flat.

That 5000 pound weight is Roseanne Barr

I wish the Pats had won the Super bowl

Granted. They won a super bowl in a random lottery, it shoots lighting bolts and randomly bursts into flames whenever someone tries to eat from it, also it can fly.

I wish for unlimited wishes

Granted. You have unlimited wishes, except each one only grants you a smelly dead fish

I wish for a New SM chapter codex (not written by Ward)

Granted, it is the most epic thing ever made. But you can never know anything about it exept that it exists and is amazing.



I wish that EVERYTHING for everyone would always be perfect (everyone includes me)

Granted, everybody dies and goes to heaven where everything is perfect.

I wish that I would meet the love off my life.

Granted. You glimpse her briefly through a bus window, then die as the bus flattens you.

I wish the Giants had not won the superbowl.

Granted, now the goldfish have control of it.

I wish for more time to do homework.

Granted, you manage to stay awake whole night finishing it, though you are so sleepy you got everything wrong.

I wish human beings are incapable of lying.

Granted, however was this actually a lie?

I wish I wasn't so bored at the moment.

Granted. You are surrounded by Chavs with a bad attitude.
I wish everyone always completed all of their homework in a timely manner.

Granted. But they did not comprehend it, thus they all got an F-

I wish I got a better job(something with less walking).

Granted but you loose you legs

I wish that no one else gets wishes

optimusprime14 wrote:Granted but you loose you legs

I wish that no one else gets wishes

Granted, but it is only a dream...


I wish I could go to the year 40k.

Granted, you are crushed by a Titan the second you arrive.

I wish I could fly

Granted, you're now a fruit fly, have fun with that.

I wish for a GW gift card that never runs out.

Lyzin Locrian wrote:Granted, you're now a fruit fly, have fun with that.

I wish for a GW gift card that never runs out.

Granted, it never runs out, but games workshop instantly goes bust and all of everything it ever made catches fire and then explodes.

I wish this wish did nothing what so ever and nothing changes as a result of this wish.

Granted, your wish does nothing (my friend has a cat named nothing, so your wish does that) and now nothing changes, EVER. Everything stays the same for all eternity.

I wish I could think of a better wish.

Granted. You thought of the bestest wish EVVaarrr! But you realise you wasted your wish by wishing to know what to wish for.

I wish for better TV programs.

Granted. You spend the rest of your life watching because they're so amazing, and by the rest of your life, I mean the next three days since you don't bother eating or drinking anything, your to busy watching the TV.

I wish that none of my wishes (including this one) could be granted.

1/2 granted. Bet you didn't know wishes could, now could you?

I wish my computer could actually play skyrim.

Granted. Your computer can actually play Skyrim. But it isn't telling you about it; it likes to play by itself when you are away.

I wish for no snow today.

Granted, but the wish goes back in time and makes it snow yesterday, enough that it affects you today.


My wish if for my wish to have a wish

Granted. Your wish wishes you had made a normal wish.
I wish for more blue styrofoam.

Granted. It has an evil intelligence and tries to eat you every night.

I wish I was the emperor

Granted, But your title is too ambiguous for anyone to pay attention to it.

I wish for more Bitz in ma Bitz box

Granted, you get more biz in your ma's (read:mom) nitz box. That is very, very dirty and you are wrong for asking that

I wish that wishes were fishes

But they all swim away...

I wish fishes were wishes.

Granted, they were wished away.

I wish for a good holiday with no homework.

Granted. In about ten years you will have a fine holiday with no homework to do.

I wish blue styrofoam was non-cannibalistic.

Granted, but it now craves human flesh; just in time for 2012.

I wish I had a wish to wish...

n0t_u wrote:Granted, but it now craves human flesh; just in time for 2012.

I wish I had a wish to wish...

But that wish, wishes you away...

I wish I could rule the world for as long as I like.

Granted, but after facebook shuts down you have to withdraw.

I wish for a rainy day.

granted. it rained on yoy today. hope you had fun inside!

I wish for a gaint cake

Granted. However, said cake was a lie.

I wish for a win tomorrow.

Granted. You win by default when your opponent has a hissy fit and quits.

I wish for an early summer.

Granted, summer is early, however no extra credit for being early and so it flunks.

I wish that I could have had wedges today.

Evaelc wrote:Granted, summer is early, however no extra credit for being early and so it flunks.

I wish that I could have had wedges today.

Numerous cheese wedges come your way my friend. Too many..

I wish that It would snow again.

Granted, it is now a new ice age.

I wish my last random wish wasn't to go away.

Granted. Your last wish was not to go away, it was to never go away again. You are now stuck where you are.
I wish my cat would clean up after itself.

Granted. It does that, but dumps it on you instead.

I wish everything is perfect.

Granted. Everything is perfect. Then the film ends and everything returns to reality.
I wish reality was more fun.

Granted but you lose touch with your imagination.

I wish for a chocolate bunny who gives good painting tutorials.

Granted, however it is an actual living rabbit made of chocolate which horrifyingly melts before your eyes in a gory scarring way.

I wish the next person gets two wishes.

Granted, however 'NO DEAL!!!' I say. Unfortunately my last case was 1 wish.

I wish game shows could happen at home.

Granted. They show up at dawn and drink all your coffee while trashing your house from hauling in their sets and backdrops. And even though its your house, you are not a contestant.

I wish for Kite season.

Granted, but they always go for the throat..

I wish I never wished this wish.

Granted, however logic prevails making you a duck.

I wish for a drink.

Granted. Enjoy your ice cold keg. But there is no tap to be found.
I wish to continue.

Granted, god inserts coin for you.

I wish that some memes could just die in the corner of the internet.

Granted. They all go to the legendary meme graveyard to die. They drag you along with them, kicking and screaming.
I wish the keg had not blown out.

Granted, it blows up instead, killing you in the process.

I wish I never had to blow my nose again.

Granted, But the nose blows you up.

I wish all movies were slightly better.

Granted, they are ever so slightly better, so slightly that nobody can even tell the difference.

I wish power point was easier to work with.

Granted but word just pisses you off know. "stupid paper clip guy"

I wish for a faster pizza.

Granted, but it's hotter then the surface of the sun.

I wish people would remember to make wishes.

Granted, but now people don't remember to feth up the other person's wish.

I wish I had a suit of steampunk PA, like Karchev the Terrible.

Granted. You have the steampunk PA, but it has fleas and chafes you when you walk. Its also impossible to see out of.
I wish to have some comfortable shoes.

Granted! But they're bright pink and two sizes too small.

I wish I had more rum...

Granted, you have more rum. Too much rum, so much rum in fact you drown in it.

I wish I was a better writer.

Granted, however the only improvement is your q's. May not be able to compose a decent story but boy can you write a mean 'q'

I wish for 28 letters in the alphabet. More choice.

Granted. The two extra letters cause insanity in all those that read them.

I wish TV was better

Granted. TV is much better, but your cable bill triples as a result.
I wish tires were made of solid rubber.

Granted, however they make the ride extremely bumpy and ruin your shocks.

I wish for an easy cop out.

Granted. All police officers disappear from the world, crime rates skyrocket and society falls apart.

I wish lamp.

Granted. However, your wish was grammatically invalid, and therefore, nothing happens.

I wish the Ultramarines weren't so overdone..

Granted, they are no longer so overdone, they are incredably overdone. Now literaly all you will see is Ultramarines.

I wish for world peace.

.Granted. The earth is at rest, there is no war. Then the bugs come.

I wish for a fine birthday.

Granted, a mighty fine birthday but a lousy new year

I wish for wishes that remembered themselves

Wish granted. But you will never remeber those wishes.
I wish i owned GW

Granted, but the GW you now own is actually Gregory Welches, a small boy from inner Detroit.

I wish I had a shillelagh.

granted, but no one knows what it is or cares about it.

I wish for a portable toaster

Granted. But you need to plug it in for it to work.

I wish I had an octopuss.

Granted, but your octopuss starts dictating your life and enslaves you

I wish that it wasn't so cold outside

Granted, now its incredably cold.

I wish mosquitoes were less annoying.

Granted but now every other creature except for humans gets small wings and buzzes around at annoying frequencies.

I wish for a great prize.

Granted. You win a Shillelagh.
I wish for travel opportunities.

Granted. To the sun.

I wish i did not have to do office duty today.

Granted. You are stuck at home with the chicken pox.

I wish the electricians would hurry up.

Granted, but due to poor customer relationship they decide never to go again and stop any electrician from visiting ever again.

I wish I knew what a Shillelagh was without having to google it. I also wish that googling words was not as scary as it is.

Granted. But the true knowledge drives you mad.

I wish for perfect teeth.

granted. but they're so shiny that they blinded the president.

i wish for more Lotr releases

Granted. They release more but some fool with a big shilelegh smashes the lot.
I wish to talk with my sister again.