and claimed to be

looking for the restroom.

Tom, the cat, took

Jerry, the mouse, and

threw him into the

rocket to the moon.

But Jerry had tied

Tom's tail to the

rocket's main thruster cone,

Hilarity ensued when the

Cat was blasted into

geosynchronous orbit. Meanwhile, George

Bailey found out that

Mr. Potter was building

Many low rent apartments

. Luckily, George decided to

save Bedford Falls by

jumping into the river.

The next events are

not easy to explain.

But rest assured, we

shall make the attempt.

When George jumped in

to save Clarence, he

suffered from hypothermic shock.

Miraculously, this caused him

to experience life as

himself; but not really.




(You know, Snurl; this is good stuff. We should write movie scripts.)

The building and Loan

was no longer there

nor was his house

. Even his mom didn't

Recognize him. His wife

didnt know him either.

Luckily, the cat seemed

indifferent to the situation.

Soon, the police were

busy doing riot control.

And George took Clarence

to Martini's tavern, but

Nick threw them out

and handed out wings.

Desprate, George ran to

a near by deli

that wasn't there earlier.

At least, he knew

what he had to

do next. He headed

back to the bridge

screaming "Help me Clarence!"

And glad to be

back to his timeline

until he remembered

that he forgot something.

He was going to

follow an alternate plotline.

In which he remembers

that he's a senator.

So he went to

Washington, where he began

to research Potter's records.

He then discovered that

Potter had been falsifying

pirated Milli Vanilli albums.

and hiding the money

in golden Eiffel towers.

Armed with this information,

he went to France

to a sidewalk cafe.

Where he met his

true destiny as a

purveyor of fine, French

Champagne to the American

sidewalk chalk artist delegation.

After that a meteor

shaped like a huge

Twin Tailed comet hit

Warhammer World, causing a

huge meme-plosion that incinerated

all of the sphess

mahreens. Nonetheless, there was

no sign of Matt

Ward, who was so

busy writing his latest

Romance novel that features

The magnificent Roboute Guilliman

and some random rules

That help him defeat

the ravenous hordes of

disgruntled warhammer fans, who

, despite their questionable hygiene,

had many legitimate rants

. All hope seemed lost

just before the big

top burst into flame.

Then suddenly his love

appeared in the mist

of the firey inferno.

And she waved at

him frantically while smoke

Poured out of her.

She was so hot,

that her socks erupted

in a display of

odoriferous conflagration which caused

A small forest fire

to grow out of

Control. Luckily, an off

duty clown appeared, holding

An oddly shaped present

. It was wrapped in

the skin of his

recently departed fellow clowns

Upon seeing he was

Intent on skinning another

Clown who had betrayed

the location of secret

Sacred source of funny

squirting flower antics and

Amusing jokes about cats

, A balloon animal attacked

a porcupine, resulting in

A war against balloons

that was over quickly.

Never the less, our

Holidays were merry and

bright. As 2016 finally

came to a close,

and there was much

applying for Canadian citizenship,

which caused much rejoicing.

Meanwhile in Canada, the

sudden influx of malcontents

made the Mounties tremble.

They traded batons for

bowls of delicious poutine

to the delight of

The big Poutine corporations

, who chuckled to themselves

and opened poutine shops

in many small villages.

Any ordinary citizen could

be rather bewildered by

dozens of Canadian Poutine

wielding mounted police, nonetheless

they were offended and

applied for American citizenship.

The results of this

bizarre turn of events

remains to be seen.

The snow outside is

frightful, but the fire

raging out of control.

is so delightful, and

since we've no place

to go, let it

be time for Warhammer!

The gamers were assembled

but their models weren't

and much sadness prevailed.

So they decided to

put it all together

using nothing but their

wits and some glue.

Needless to say, they

Failed miserably, but they

Let me in here?

The Brushcommando was initiated

Then it was cancelled.

By who? Not U...

said the new guy

in a hissy huff.

I immediately regret this...

as a means of

whiling away the hours.

We will never resort

to mundane foolishness like

Making four word posts...

unless we are bored.

Which we evidently are.

But I'm wasting my

...crazy aunt's ammunition on...

imaginary targets that move

disturbingly close to bystanders...

who seem oddly threatening

yet remain blissfully unaware.

Of my crazy hallucinations

Drugs are bad, kids...

and yet I took...

an aspirin every day

and washed it down

with a glass of

good, old fashioned justice

Unfortunately, justice tastes icky

Just ask Mary Poppins...

and so I took

a spoonful of "sugar"

Which was coloured brown

and was terribly expensive.

...Wait! this is dirt!

How can you tell?

Because it tastes like

What my mother used

to plant tomatoes in...

back when we were

fleeing from marauding vikings.

Marauding Vikings do not

appreciate proper agricultural technique...

for the growing of

non-pharmaceutical grade plants.

They prefer cafes, naturally

for discussing romantic literature...

and taking in the

secret celtic guttural language.

Vikings can perhaps be...

more highly cultured than

my aforementioned family members

who use their sleeves

Regularly to wipe they're

axes free of blood,..

and other such muck.

Only A royal viking

can open the seal...

on a can of

peaches, yet I know

a separate incantation for...

opening a can of

Nordic sized whoop ass!

Take that, Viking Scoundrels!

I like fish sandwiches

preferably without the fish...

because ketchup and mayonnaise

go well with souffle

made from discarded fish!

Which is why I

Regularly steal fish from

the local pet shop.

I doubt they mind...

because I return them

well... parts of them...

Anyway, but now I

find myself alone in...

the tropical fish asile,

So many choices for

a potential soul-mate.

I no longer need

my blow up doll.

Ahem. You heard nothing.

When the winter ends

I fully intend to

keep wearing my winter

full body lycra suit

that I bought from...

Victoria's Secret outlet store.

I hope to attract

several small furry animals

to serve as bodyguards...

of my favourite toy

poodle. His name is...

Lord Poodleton the fourth,

His predecessors were unfortunately...

eaten by field mice

A terrible fate befell...

the mice, as they

Were turned into tacos

in a less than...

the time it takes

To post four words

. The tacos were surprisingly

bland, so I used...

a healthy dose of

generic brand, finely-ground...

zombie dust purchased from

a less-than-reputable...

Voodoo priest named Maurice.

Maurice has educated rodents

cooking low fat meals

at very reasonable prices

as long as you...

know the secret handshake

If you don't though...

they release the tiger.

Its heavy cannon will...

Rain seeds down upon

the frolicking butterfly people...

and their brony allies.

Drive me closer! I

want to hit it

with my spitball shooteer.

The panicking populace proclaimed

what have we done?

as they gazed upon...

the horrifying reality of

their new waste-management...

self-service disposal units.

They got the idea

from an old comic

That cheese tastes good

if you're a mouse.

Also, in mouse tacos...