Cheese can be found

in all the ingredients.

Cat tacos, however, should

never be served alongside...

Cat Salsa, as it

is just too piquant.

A package arrived today

with no return address

and it was ticking,

me off, so I ...

fired up the chainsaw

and opened that mother

-approved box of cereal...

only to find hairy

little carbuncles covering my

Fruit Loops and Wheaties.

"What's this", I cried,

as I took a

Few dozen steps back

nearly falling over a...

heaping pile of discarded

needles and rusty razors.

Instead, you fall into

a vat of melted

Green plastic army men...

with small plastic parachutes.

That'll stick you right

into the arms of

a smelly ork maiden...

wearing a chiffon tutu

Ork maiden? Hubba, hubba!

She's out of your

town, but we Skype.

I like her pompoms,

Her family doesn't approve...

of her fraternizing with

squishy pink "humies" like...

Space Marines and Guardsmen.

I had turned quite...

bizarre at the convention

dressed, as I was

in armor made from

old Dominos pizza boxes.

My helmet is a

box of chicken wings

and hate will be...

dispensed like ranch dressing.

I've never been fond...

of personal hygiene as

most of you know.

But today I decided

to eliminate the funk

by slathering myself in

Axe cologne for men

Unfortunately this does not...

Attract all the ladies

only aggressive, Female Inquisitors.

Not that I dislike

that sort of thing.

But it makes things

But it makes things

a bit intense when

they begin to savagely

weird on the dance floor.

It would be awkward...

to post five words

in the four word

story thread, but even

the great and powerful

He who shall not...

Be named does it

yet he also does

many other awkward things

with his magic wand...

like wave it vigorously

while he shamelessly dances

Through an empty warehouse

Five times a day.

This bizarre behavior can

Make you feel randy.

Randy doesn't like this

being a muggle, he...

is distrustful of wands

and other similar devices.

You Know Who, however

says, "Keep your nose...

safe, or else you'll...

smell what I'm cooking!"

Alas, poor Voldemort, he

had no nose with

which to smell his

own brand of funk.

Which was a shame

as the bouquet was....

beyond simple verbal description.

Once upon a time...

this thread was about

Giants and their loyal

allies, Badrukk's Flash Gitz.

thus, we return our...

attention to that important

Group of funny misfits

called Members of Parliament...

and compulsive Dakka posters.

White Castle sliders are

an abomination against the...

Culinary world. We should

all order a sack.

Afterwards, we should all

take our sacks and

flip them for cash.

Then buy more sacks

and do some serious

sack racing so that

no child shall ever

go through life without

knowing the nutritional goodness

of a hessian sack

or, as they're called

in more polite company,

'Sacks of infinite Sadness'.

But that's beyond the

realm of logical thinking

when consideration is given

to the fact that

the very idea of

children participating in a

Very competitive athletic activity

such as sack racing

will inevitably result in

children with torn sacks.

In other news, Llamas...

don't like sack racing

unless they have special

llama and alpaca sized

sacks with special velcro

To keep their hair

From getting tangled up

in loose sack threads.

Following the event, ice...

skating will be attempted

as long as skates

are fitted with special

laces suitable for a

sack to fit over...

the hooves of a

cyber-unicorn-llama hybrid.

The event will be

cancelled on account of....

global warming melting all

the local ponds, but

water sports replace the

pay-per-view portion...

of regularly scheduled programming.

In the Florida Everglades

Jimmy Hoffa's decomposed body

was discovered by a

Python hunter looking for

the legendary Skunk Ape.

The legend proved tempting

but ultimately fruitless, as

Skunk apes avoid all

contact with python hunters.

as do most people...

As they're rather rude

and smell worse than

previously mentioned Lord Voldemort...

or an exploding whale.

Exploding Voldemort's, however, bring

a rather different scent...

which is somewhat like

A long dead tuna

left in a used

Port-O-John tank.

Does anyone know how...

to find their way

in this mad world!

The answer, of course,

Is no, but that

never stopped the Jedi

from trying to lecture...

the lazy members of

society, forcing them to...

take copious quantities of

Cocaine and smuggle it

internally as cartel mules.

But when the chips

are down, the Jedi

do not understand the

nuances required to navigate

the modern world of

cutthroat interior-decorating business...

because damask and silk

are not as easy

as Jedi mind tricks.

The world of llama

husbandry took an unexpected

turn when Komodo dragons

cross bred with Jedi

and birthed little Yodas

from llama surrogate mothers.

There was a disturbance

at the nightclub when

the jedi stag party

got out of hand.

Lightsabers were poppin' everywhere

Chaos Legionairre picked up

what was supposed to...

be a high class

new, unused pleasure droid

, but quickly realised his

mistake when, to his

Great shame he was

found holding a large

and yet somehow soft

adult, male Ewok that

he used as a

legal counsel in his...

Ongoing quest to overturn

Judge Judy's dumbest rulings.

The most stupid ruling....

focused on cojoined twins

who could not agree

on which pair of

shoes Chaos Legionnaire should

wear on a Tuesday

when there is snow

on the sidewalks.
Judge

Judy ruled that he

must provide financial support

for the twins, or

face income garnishment until

the shoes are discarded.

Meanwhile, in Carpathia, there

was a outdoor concert

held in the forest

and the event was

Only for goths who

wore thick mascara and

wished to remain anonymous.

A good time was had

by the attendees, except

until a honey badger

Decided to kick a

sleeping Polar Bear in

It's way too large

and hairy nether regions.

The polar bear's response

made Anthrax seem quiet.

Speaking of Anthrax, I

listened to 'ABBA' yesterday

in an unguarded moment.

Anyone who listens to

1970's pop hits should

wear bell bottom jeans,

while driving their van

with shag carpeted interior,

to the skating rink.

A giant mirror ball

is an absolute necessity

if you intend to

do a little dance,

make a little love,

and get down tonight!!!!!!!

A disco inferno was ignited

(Party foul, too many words! I hereby loan a word to CL...)

when the boogie

Ooogi oogi woogie with

A Taste Of Honey

did the Hustle while

booties were frantically shaken.

A bowl of Cheerios

could stop a rhino

if it were properly

deployed behind a pair

of braced cinderblocks. This

plus an elephant gun

make one hell of

a deterrent for any

malcontent oat breakfast cereal.

Speaking of edible fiber,

I once ate a

roll of bubble wrap

. To my horror, it

tasted like a McRib.

McRibs are really made

from recycled packing peanuts

and that's the truth!

Superior foods may be

found at the local

Back-alley dumpster fire

known as Trump's administration.

Making McRibs great again

is a wasted effort.

It would be wiser

to walk on the

surface of the moon

singing about loneliness whilst

Wearing your business casual

and a rather large

yet necessary oygen supply.

Unless, of course, you