The Imperial Guard regiment of the 214th is famous for it's tanks. The news has decided to ask these brave souls how they do their jobs during a clean-up operation.
Cameraman: So, what's it like being a tank commander?
Tank Commander Charlie: Well, it's pretty easy, you just gotta shoot at the targets.
Tank Spotter Kevin: Sir! We've got targets on the ridge.
Tank Commander Charlie: Blast your eyes man! Open Fire!
The Leman Russ lights up the hill, blowing up the entire face of the hill.
Imperial Vox: "Attention all units, we've lost squad three to artillery fire."
Camera Man: Didn't the briefing before battle confirm that the enemy had no artillery?
Tank Commander Charlie: You bet.
Camera Man: So you may have "misfired" then?
Tank Commander Charlie: Hell! What do you mean misfire? Did you not see all those guardsmen I shot???
Boreale Addressing His Troops SPESS MEHREENS, TODEH THE ENEMEH IS AT OUR DOAR! WE KNOW OUR DUTEH AND WE WILL DO EHT. WE FIGHT FOR OUR HORNOUR AS BLUHD REHVENS, AS SPESS MEHREENS, AND WE FIGHT IN THE NEHME OF THE EMPRA!
AND IF WE DIE THIS DEH WE DIE IN GLOARY. WE DIE HEAROES' DEFFS-BUT WE SHALL NORT DIE-NO IT IS THE ENEMEH WHO WILL TEHSTE DEFF AND DEFEAT! AS YOU KNOW...
MOAST OF OUR BATTLE BROTHERS ARE STEHTIONED IN SPESS, PRUHPEARED TO DEEP STRIKE! OUR PERIMETER HAS BEEN PRUHPEARED IN THE EVENT THEHT OUR ENEMEHS SHOULD BE SO BALD AND SO FOOLISH. WE HAVE PLEHCED NUMEROUS BEACONS, ALLOWING FOAR MULTIPLE, SIMULTEHNEOUS, AND DEVEHSTEHTING DEFENSIVE DEEP STRIKES.
THE CODECKS ASTARTEES NEHMES THIS MANEUVAH STEEL REHN. WE WILL DESCEND UPON THE FOE, WE WILL OVAHWHELM THEM - WE WILL LEAVE NONE ALIVE! MEANWHILE OUR GROUND FOARCES WILL ENSURE THE FULL DEFENSE OF OUR HEADKWARTERS.
WE ARE THE SPESS MEHREENS! WE ARE THE EMPRA'S FUREH!
How Boreale lost his 'voice' Scene starts as Thule defeats Gorgutz in Dark Crusade. Gorgutz flees the Green Beach and is currently on his Ork ship. Indrick Borale is in his personal Thunderhawk with Techmarine brother Spasmius heading towards the Litany of Fury. Brother Spasmius had an unclear mind due to seeing a daemonette on imperial television, and hence drove Brother Captain Boreale into Gorgutz' ship, looking for Gabriel Angelos.
Nob- Isn't that 'umie un of 'ose wez got trash'd up by? Gorgutz- Nah, that 'umie looks dumb, and 'ez talks funny too. Must be un of 'ose Chaos Boyz we'z stomped on. Nob- What shall we do boss? Stomp on 'im? Gorgutz- Move aside ya git. 'ez mine.
Gorgutz smashes up Boreale, leaving him with no teeth and a even more damaged brain. Boreale stumbles back into his thunderhawk, Gorgutz gleefully picking up his teeth.
"Brother Spessmius... Where are weh?"
Brother Captain Boreale's Bad Day Boreale made doubly sure his armour was perfectly polished. He checked his sword scabbard and pistol holster. He fitted his Purity Seals on and ensured that his breastplate decorations were positioned correctly. He held his helmet under his arms. As he turned from his massive planning table, he checked his reflection in one of his other suits of Power Armour. Tall, large, inspiring. Perfectly presented, every inch an Imperial Space Marine.
His hair was still very short, but Boreale had begun to accept that. Even after two hundred years, his hair (or lack therof) bothered him. But it wasn’t the worst thing. That would be his speech.
He had been fighting his speech for years. He was an inspirational speaker, able to turn his formidable speech-composition skills to demagoguery or fiery rhetoric. He always wrote and delivered his own speeches, and he strongly believed in the importance of words as an element of leadership. But he always struggled with the same thing:
Pronunciation. A more obdurate enemy than any he had ever faced.
He mouthed the words of his speech to himself, very softly, as he looked into his reflection on the chestplate of a Power Armour suit.
“Space Marines, today is the day…” the words came out very softly, but they were correct. Perhaps today WOULD be the day? Perhaps today he would get it right, and deliver the greatest speech of his entire illustrious career? He continued to practise: “today is the day we serve the…Empr-…Empera…Emperor. Tode-today…” He took a deep breath and started again:
“Today is the day we serve the Emperor by putting our lives, minds and souls in the line of duty in His name, and in service to the Imperium….”
He was doing well so far. Perhaps today would be the day indeed.
Confident with his initial success, Boreale straightened himself out to his full height of about nine feet. It had been only days since the attack on their Stronghold by the Sisters of Battle, where he had personally defeated Canoness Agna in single combat. The woman had charged in towards him, full of righteous fury, and screaming a challenge. Meeting her with his own blade and screaming his own battle cry (it unfortunately came out as FOR THE EMPRA, in the heat of battle), Boreale had overwhelmed her with superior speed and strength, and she had fallen on her sword rather than let him strike the killing blow.
Regrettable that it came to fighting the Empe..Emperor’s servants as such, but necessary. Necessary for the survival of the Imperium and mankind, necessary to please the Emperor and the Unknown Primarch. Necessary. No, essential!
Boreale gritted his jaw, and corrected his sword one last time. It was time.
He stepped out onto the podium where hundreds of Blood Ravens stood assembled silently and unmoving, waiting for his words. He felt confidence fill him the likes of which he had never felt. Today would indeed be the day.
Boreale drew a deep breath.
“BROTHERS!”
…
“TODEH WE SERVE THE EMPRA!”
Some things just never changed.
Boreale in Therapy "Space marines. Suh-Pay-Seh Ma-Reens. Space Marines," Brother Tullus nodded, "Now, you try."
"Sp-Sp-SPESS-"
"No, no, ACE. AAAACE."
"EHSSS"
"Ace."
"Ace."
"Good. Now say 'Spay."
"Spay."
"Now say both of them."
"Spay. Ace."
"And all together now."
"Sp-sp-spess."
Brother Tullus delicately plucked the spectacles from the bridge of his nose while the other massaged his much aching head, "No, no, Emperor damn it..."
"I have failed..."
"No, no, no Boreale you-" Tullus leaned back in the chair, as it cried out in protest, trying in vain to think of something-
"THE EMPRAH!"
He fell back out of his chair in surprise at the sudden exclamation.
Brother-Captain Indrick Boreale was but one of many held at the Mental Reclamation Convent of Saint Gimpus, and really, Tullus reflected as he righted his chair, one of the better behaved ones.
For instance, one cell over...
"METAL BOXES!" Came muffled through the wall, shaking the diplomas bespangling it.
STEEL REHN Steel Rehn
Some steh dry and others feel the pehn
Steel Rehn
Landing drop pods makehs infernahl din
Steel Rehn
Our eterhnel fureh strikes the hearts of mehn
Steel Rehn
Deep strikeh is our vehry own bent
Steel Rehn
No matteh how hard our enemeh’s try
Steel Rehn
They all see our reputashen is no lie
Steel Rehn
Forecast to be fallen yesterdeh
Steel Rehn
Yet it will likeleh also fall todeh
Steel Rehn
We fall to earth at enormouehs rates
Steel Rehn
The Empra’s foes cannot stop ourh haet
Steel Rehn
Our drop pods coveh the light of dehy
Steel Rehn
Our enemeh’s flee but there is no weyh
Steel Rehn
Fiereh blood rushing throuegh our vehns
Steel Rehn
Afteh we finish we prepare to fall back down agaihn
Steel Rehn
We are called dowehn by the radio
Steel Rehn
The purpose is to gain grouend controhl
Steel Rehn
We could not call it aneh otherh nayme
Steel Rehn
Everything else soundehd quite insayhn
Steel Rehn
We are preparing to fall onceh moreh now
Steel Rehn
The Empra will someday rewaredh us, somehow
Boreale stopped singing once he reached the end of what he had composed, and sat down silently, sitting his head in his hands. On paper, it was brilliant, a hymn that could be sung by billions of the Emperor’s servants across thousands of worlds in countless joyous anthems. But what was the point if he couldn’t sing it properly himself?
Boreale's Death Boreale met his end when he accidentally bit his exceptionally long tongue with his superhuman strength. He usually left his mouth open for a while to allow his tongue to slide in,which was one of the many factors that affected his speech. However, he had overworked himself during his therapy and bit his tongue with his teeth, causing him to die of pain that even an Astarte could not endure.
Unsurprisingly, his death has now been confirmed in Dawn of War II. The Kaurava system campaign is remembered with shame and epic failure by the rest of the Blood Ravens.
Just noticed the symbols on the top of the warpspiders helmuts, total hilarity guys lol. Wicked job. (go back and look at them if you missed it the first time)
I'm a Black Templar y'know. This one time me and the lads got in a ruckus with these guys from the Black Legion and I'm pretty sure we won cept, y'know, in a fight stuff get's kind of confusing, with all the dust and smoke and yelling and baldness and blood. So like when we got home I counted and we had like, five more guys than when we started. So I looked over the lads and I saw one of them had a skull for a head so I was like CHAOS! and killed him cept turns out he was our Chaplain. So now I'm pretty sure some of these guys are Chaos Marines but I can't tell who. I mean we all have skulls and chains and capes and shout a lot. What should I do?
Confused Chapter Master
Dear Confused Chapter Master
The solution is to look how the suspect members are based. Members of a different army may be based differently even if their armour looks similar. Many have a pedestal effect that you may have noticed. sometimes this has a green rim, but sometimes a brown. All the brothers should have the same basing.
Dont worry about the Chaplain, plenty more where he came from.
Just a reminder to those who have been posting non-wargaming related things - this is for funny wargaming stuff, not a dump of your unrelated motivational posters and other things. If you want to post those then make a new thread in the offtopic forum for them. Thanks!
My name iz Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka, an I hate all yoo weedy gitz. All uv you iz fat, stoopid, zoggers who spend evy secund uv der day lookin at squig-zoggin pikshures. Yoo iz everyfing weedy in da galaxy. Serussly, haz any uv yoo lot ever squished any oomies? I meen, I gess itz fun ta bee makin fun uv uvver gitz becuz yoo iz so weedy, but yoo lot takez it too a hole noo levul. Dis iz evun wors dan muckin about wiff tau.
Dun be scarred. Juzt hit me wiff yur best shotz. Im prity much da perffekt warboss. I wuz da Waaaghboss uv Armygedun, an Im da mozt proppa Goffz yoo lot eva seen. Wot planets did yoo lot attack, uver dan "paint litle boyz an preten too foight wiff dem"? I alzo got lotz uv kroozas, an hav a supa shooty shoota (I juzt blew up Grimgor; gak wuz SO teef). Yoo iz all zoggerz who shud juzt kil yooselves. Fanks fer lissenin.
Commanding General (Solar)
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a Marauder Destroyer
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God
General (regiment)
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a Lightning star fighter
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Talks with God
Commander (regiment)
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable winds
Is almost as powerful a Lightning star fighter
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if a special request is honoured
Colonel
Barely clears a small hut
Loses tug of war with a chimera
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God
Captain
Goes around buildings
Is run over by Chimeras
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Treads water
Talks to animals
Lieutenant
Runs into buildings
Recognizes Chimeras two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can stay afloat with a life jacket
Talks to walls
Vet Sergeant
Smashes tall buildings
Knocks Chimeras off their tracks
Chews bullets and spits them out
Walks in space
He is God
BrookM wrote:
Captain
Goes around buildings
Is run over by Chimeras
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Treads water
Talks to animals
The one issue I'd take with this is that it includes Cpt. MacMillan and Price. Both of whom I've represented as models and both of whom could destroy entire armies using nothing but a Gillie suit and a knife.
I wonder what kind of people put together legohammer. 40k fans with to much time on their hands? Their lego fan friends with to much time on their hands? The 40k fans' little brothers, or children with to much time on their hands?
A few I've worked on recently; Commenting on the recent style of Marine modelling..
And my old "Chaos Gods Do.." series..
Chaos Gods Do.. Lunch "Alright, one raw steak, bowl of yesterday's leftovers, the seafood
feast with all the sauces and birdman is changng his order ..again.."
Chaos Gods Do.. Poker Night "I'm warning yah' beackface, you change the rules one more time.."
Chaos Gods Do.. Beach Holiday
And of course, some Tau ..Sung to the Tune of 'Muppet Show Tonight"
i dont know if this is the place to put this but ohwell
it 40k and humoures so i thinks its okay
i was at a campaign and in this on battle this one guy rolled nothing but ones for an entire turn
"My Lord, I bring news."
Typhus Marburg paused in his study of the situation map of the dreary little planet his forces were engaged in ravaging. "Yes?"
"Lord. Starships have appeared in the outer system and are on course for a landing. They have been identified as elements of the Flesh Tearers."
"Yeah? Tell them to sod off and find their own world. Tell 'em we got here first."
"Sire, you misunderstand. They are here to defend this world!"
"What! Why? It's a sorry state of affairs when the followers of Chaos start to defend the weakling Imperium from each other!"
"Um, Lord... the Flesh Tearers are a loyalist chapter."
"They are? With a name like that! Are you sure they're not one of ours?"
"Positive, My Lord."
"Have you been able to call for any assistance?"
"The Astropaths have contacted other forces nearby. Unfortunately this has also alerted other loyalist forces in the sector and they are also headed our way."
"Bugger. So who gets here first then?"
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"It never rains, it only pours, hey?"
"Umm..."
"What!"
"The Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"It is?!"
"Yes."
"I'm confused. You're telling me that a mob called the 'Flesh Tearers' isn't one of ours but a mob called the - what was it again..."
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"Right... a mob called the Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"That is correct, sire."
"So who else is showing up to this barney then?"
"The Blood Drinkers."
"One of ours?"
"One of theirs."
"OK."
"The Iron Warriors."
"One of theirs?"
"No. One of ours."
"Go figure."
"The Dark Angels."
"Now I've heard of them. Followers of Slaanesh aren't they?"
"No, I think you're thinking of The Fallen, sire. The Dark Angels are Loyalists too."
"Bugger. So who else then?"
"The Emperor's Children."
"Oh, that one's too easy. They're obviously loyalists with a name like that."
"Um, not exactly my Lord."
"Really?"
"Yes, Lord. They're one of ours too."
"This is silly. All the really evil sounding names are being used by weakling loyalists while it seems as though the forces of chaos have got the naff monikers. Are there any more of these I should know about?"
"A few, Lord."
"OK then, spell it out for me, starting with Loyalists that sound like traitors and then moving onto traitors that sound like Loyalists."
"I will attempt to do so, Lord. OK - the Loyalists that sound like traitors... the Marauders, Rampagers, Destroyers and Storm Lords (all White Scar second foundings in point of fact)."
"I like the sound of the Storm Lords. You sure they aren't one of ours?"
"Quite sure. Then there's the Blood Drinkers and the Flesh Tearers - both of which are Loyalist second founding of the Blood Angels."
"With names like that I'd always assumed they were more bone headed followers of the blood god."
"Not so far, My Lord. Then there's the Red Talons..."
"I thought they were renegade pirates."
"No Lord, that's the Red Corsairs."
"Oh. OK. Continue."
"The Brazen Claws are loyalists too."
"Good name for a Khornate force though isn't it?"
"Yes Lord. Then there's the Black Guard (not to be confused with the Black Legion which IS one of ours), the Revilers, and the Raptors."
"Hold on a minute! The Raptors? They're definitely ours. Hell we've got a small unit of them attached to our forces haven't we?"
"My Lord, those are the troops known as Raptors but there is also a loyalist legion with the same name."
"Must get a bit confusing for the loyalists then?"
"I imagine so, My Lord. There are also the Doom Eagles, the Silver Skulls, and the Iron Hands (not to be mistaken for the Iron Warriors, who are ours)."
"Bloody hell. Is that it?"
"There are also some lesser known chapters that also seem to cause occasional confusion."
"Such as..."
"The Doomfarers are one that our forces have occasionally encountered."
"Oh yeah. Those yoyos. So what about the Chaos forces that sound like loyalists then..."
"Well as mentioned earlier there are The Emperor's Children, The Iron
Warriors, the Thousand Sons, the Lunar Wolves (who changed their name to the Sons of Horus and then to the Black Legion)..."
"Well at least they're easily IDed as one of ours now. The Black Legion eh? Now that's a proper name. Just postively oozes evil from every pore."
"Yes, Lord. To continue, there are also the Word Bearers, and the Alpha Legion."
"The Word Bearers? What kind of silly name is that for a Chaos Legion?"
"They used to be missionarys sire"
"We you'd think that once they switched to our side they'd change their name to something a little more in keeping with being evil mad men. I mean come on 'The Word Bearers'? It's a silly name."
"Yes my Lord"
"You know, I think the forces of Chaos should have proper Chaos names. There's no room for mistakes when you're called something like 'The World Eaters' or 'The Death Guard'..."
"Actually Lord, both those chapters had those names when they were loyalists."
"You're kidding."
"No, My Lord."
"Yeesh. I would have thought names like that would be a bit scary for the average imperial citizen. I mean "Yay we're being rescued by the World Eaters" just doesn't sound credible while "Aargh! Flee! It's the World Eaters" seems much more likely."
"Yes, My Lord. I believe the latter is more likely these days anyway."
"Makes no bloody sense at all."
"Yes, My Lord."
"Kill 'em all and let the Chaos Gods sort 'em out I say."
"Sounds like a completely reasonable approach to me, My Lord..."
Vargtass wrote:"My Lord, I bring news."
Typhus Marburg paused in his study of the situation map of the dreary little planet his forces were engaged in ravaging. "Yes?"
"Lord. Starships have appeared in the outer system and are on course for a landing. They have been identified as elements of the Flesh Tearers."
"Yeah? Tell them to sod off and find their own world. Tell 'em we got here first."
"Sire, you misunderstand. They are here to defend this world!"
"What! Why? It's a sorry state of affairs when the followers of Chaos start to defend the weakling Imperium from each other!"
"Um, Lord... the Flesh Tearers are a loyalist chapter."
"They are? With a name like that! Are you sure they're not one of ours?"
"Positive, My Lord."
"Have you been able to call for any assistance?"
"The Astropaths have contacted other forces nearby. Unfortunately this has also alerted other loyalist forces in the sector and they are also headed our way."
"Bugger. So who gets here first then?"
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"It never rains, it only pours, hey?"
"Umm..."
"What!"
"The Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"It is?!"
"Yes."
"I'm confused. You're telling me that a mob called the 'Flesh Tearers' isn't one of ours but a mob called the - what was it again..."
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"Right... a mob called the Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"That is correct, sire."
"So who else is showing up to this barney then?"
"The Blood Drinkers."
"One of ours?"
"One of theirs."
"OK."
"The Iron Warriors."
"One of theirs?"
"No. One of ours."
"Go figure."
"The Dark Angels."
"Now I've heard of them. Followers of Slaanesh aren't they?"
"No, I think you're thinking of The Fallen, sire. The Dark Angels are Loyalists too."
"Bugger. So who else then?"
"The Emperor's Children."
"Oh, that one's too easy. They're obviously loyalists with a name like that."
"Um, not exactly my Lord."
"Really?"
"Yes, Lord. They're one of ours too."
"This is silly. All the really evil sounding names are being used by weakling loyalists while it seems as though the forces of chaos have got the naff monikers. Are there any more of these I should know about?"
"A few, Lord."
"OK then, spell it out for me, starting with Loyalists that sound like traitors and then moving onto traitors that sound like Loyalists."
"I will attempt to do so, Lord. OK - the Loyalists that sound like traitors... the Marauders, Rampagers, Destroyers and Storm Lords (all White Scar second foundings in point of fact)."
"I like the sound of the Storm Lords. You sure they aren't one of ours?"
"Quite sure. Then there's the Blood Drinkers and the Flesh Tearers - both of which are Loyalist second founding of the Blood Angels."
"With names like that I'd always assumed they were more bone headed followers of the blood god."
"Not so far, My Lord. Then there's the Red Talons..."
"I thought they were renegade pirates."
"No Lord, that's the Red Corsairs."
"Oh. OK. Continue."
"The Brazen Claws are loyalists too."
"Good name for a Khornate force though isn't it?"
"Yes Lord. Then there's the Black Guard (not to be confused with the Black Legion which IS one of ours), the Revilers, and the Raptors."
"Hold on a minute! The Raptors? They're definitely ours. Hell we've got a small unit of them attached to our forces haven't we?"
"My Lord, those are the troops known as Raptors but there is also a loyalist legion with the same name."
"Must get a bit confusing for the loyalists then?"
"I imagine so, My Lord. There are also the Doom Eagles, the Silver Skulls, and the Iron Hands (not to be mistaken for the Iron Warriors, who are ours)."
"Bloody hell. Is that it?"
"There are also some lesser known chapters that also seem to cause occasional confusion."
"Such as..."
"The Doomfarers are one that our forces have occasionally encountered."
"Oh yeah. Those yoyos. So what about the Chaos forces that sound like loyalists then..."
"Well as mentioned earlier there are The Emperor's Children, The Iron
Warriors, the Thousand Sons, the Lunar Wolves (who changed their name to the Sons of Horus and then to the Black Legion)..."
"Well at least they're easily IDed as one of ours now. The Black Legion eh? Now that's a proper name. Just postively oozes evil from every pore."
"Yes, Lord. To continue, there are also the Word Bearers, and the Alpha Legion."
"The Word Bearers? What kind of silly name is that for a Chaos Legion?"
"They used to be missionarys sire"
"We you'd think that once they switched to our side they'd change their name to something a little more in keeping with being evil mad men. I mean come on 'The Word Bearers'? It's a silly name."
"Yes my Lord"
"You know, I think the forces of Chaos should have proper Chaos names. There's no room for mistakes when you're called something like 'The World Eaters' or 'The Death Guard'..."
"Actually Lord, both those chapters had those names when they were loyalists."
"You're kidding."
"No, My Lord."
"Yeesh. I would have thought names like that would be a bit scary for the average imperial citizen. I mean "Yay we're being rescued by the World Eaters" just doesn't sound credible while "Aargh! Flee! It's the World Eaters" seems much more likely."
"Yes, My Lord. I believe the latter is more likely these days anyway."
"Makes no bloody sense at all."
"Yes, My Lord."
"Kill 'em all and let the Chaos Gods sort 'em out I say."
"Sounds like a completely reasonable approach to me, My Lord..."
Thanks for posting that. I was afraid it was just me thinking that about the names.
Vargtass wrote:"My Lord, I bring news."
Typhus Marburg paused in his study of the situation map of the dreary little planet his forces were engaged in ravaging. "Yes?"
"Lord. Starships have appeared in the outer system and are on course for a landing. They have been identified as elements of the Flesh Tearers."
"Yeah? Tell them to sod off and find their own world. Tell 'em we got here first."
"Sire, you misunderstand. They are here to defend this world!"
"What! Why? It's a sorry state of affairs when the followers of Chaos start to defend the weakling Imperium from each other!"
"Um, Lord... the Flesh Tearers are a loyalist chapter."
"They are? With a name like that! Are you sure they're not one of ours?"
"Positive, My Lord."
"Have you been able to call for any assistance?"
"The Astropaths have contacted other forces nearby. Unfortunately this has also alerted other loyalist forces in the sector and they are also headed our way."
"Bugger. So who gets here first then?"
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"It never rains, it only pours, hey?"
"Umm..."
"What!"
"The Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"It is?!"
"Yes."
"I'm confused. You're telling me that a mob called the 'Flesh Tearers' isn't one of ours but a mob called the - what was it again..."
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"Right... a mob called the Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"That is correct, sire."
"So who else is showing up to this barney then?"
"The Blood Drinkers."
"One of ours?"
"One of theirs."
"OK."
"The Iron Warriors."
"One of theirs?"
"No. One of ours."
"Go figure."
"The Dark Angels."
"Now I've heard of them. Followers of Slaanesh aren't they?"
"No, I think you're thinking of The Fallen, sire. The Dark Angels are Loyalists too."
"Bugger. So who else then?"
"The Emperor's Children."
"Oh, that one's too easy. They're obviously loyalists with a name like that."
"Um, not exactly my Lord."
"Really?"
"Yes, Lord. They're one of ours too."
"This is silly. All the really evil sounding names are being used by weakling loyalists while it seems as though the forces of chaos have got the naff monikers. Are there any more of these I should know about?"
"A few, Lord."
"OK then, spell it out for me, starting with Loyalists that sound like traitors and then moving onto traitors that sound like Loyalists."
"I will attempt to do so, Lord. OK - the Loyalists that sound like traitors... the Marauders, Rampagers, Destroyers and Storm Lords (all White Scar second foundings in point of fact)."
"I like the sound of the Storm Lords. You sure they aren't one of ours?"
"Quite sure. Then there's the Blood Drinkers and the Flesh Tearers - both of which are Loyalist second founding of the Blood Angels."
"With names like that I'd always assumed they were more bone headed followers of the blood god."
"Not so far, My Lord. Then there's the Red Talons..."
"I thought they were renegade pirates."
"No Lord, that's the Red Corsairs."
"Oh. OK. Continue."
"The Brazen Claws are loyalists too."
"Good name for a Khornate force though isn't it?"
"Yes Lord. Then there's the Black Guard (not to be confused with the Black Legion which IS one of ours), the Revilers, and the Raptors."
"Hold on a minute! The Raptors? They're definitely ours. Hell we've got a small unit of them attached to our forces haven't we?"
"My Lord, those are the troops known as Raptors but there is also a loyalist legion with the same name."
"Must get a bit confusing for the loyalists then?"
"I imagine so, My Lord. There are also the Doom Eagles, the Silver Skulls, and the Iron Hands (not to be mistaken for the Iron Warriors, who are ours)."
"Bloody hell. Is that it?"
"There are also some lesser known chapters that also seem to cause occasional confusion."
"Such as..."
"The Doomfarers are one that our forces have occasionally encountered."
"Oh yeah. Those yoyos. So what about the Chaos forces that sound like loyalists then..."
"Well as mentioned earlier there are The Emperor's Children, The Iron
Warriors, the Thousand Sons, the Lunar Wolves (who changed their name to the Sons of Horus and then to the Black Legion)..."
"Well at least they're easily IDed as one of ours now. The Black Legion eh? Now that's a proper name. Just postively oozes evil from every pore."
"Yes, Lord. To continue, there are also the Word Bearers, and the Alpha Legion."
"The Word Bearers? What kind of silly name is that for a Chaos Legion?"
"They used to be missionarys sire"
"We you'd think that once they switched to our side they'd change their name to something a little more in keeping with being evil mad men. I mean come on 'The Word Bearers'? It's a silly name."
"Yes my Lord"
"You know, I think the forces of Chaos should have proper Chaos names. There's no room for mistakes when you're called something like 'The World Eaters' or 'The Death Guard'..."
"Actually Lord, both those chapters had those names when they were loyalists."
"You're kidding."
"No, My Lord."
"Yeesh. I would have thought names like that would be a bit scary for the average imperial citizen. I mean "Yay we're being rescued by the World Eaters" just doesn't sound credible while "Aargh! Flee! It's the World Eaters" seems much more likely."
"Yes, My Lord. I believe the latter is more likely these days anyway."
"Makes no bloody sense at all."
"Yes, My Lord."
"Kill 'em all and let the Chaos Gods sort 'em out I say."
"Sounds like a completely reasonable approach to me, My Lord..."
That was good, made me laugh a lot! Also as a side note, the main reason SM chapters have such mean names is because they used to go around ravagig worlds that didn't swear allegion to The Emperor, it's no wonder most of m turned to Chaos, all they had to do is use find and replace 'The Emperor' and 'Khorne' or 'Nurgle' lol.
Vargtass wrote:"My Lord, I bring news."
Typhus Marburg paused in his study of the situation map of the dreary little planet his forces were engaged in ravaging. "Yes?"
"Lord. Starships have appeared in the outer system and are on course for a landing. They have been identified as elements of the Flesh Tearers."
"Yeah? Tell them to sod off and find their own world. Tell 'em we got here first."
"Sire, you misunderstand. They are here to defend this world!"
"What! Why? It's a sorry state of affairs when the followers of Chaos start to defend the weakling Imperium from each other!"
"Um, Lord... the Flesh Tearers are a loyalist chapter."
"They are? With a name like that! Are you sure they're not one of ours?"
"Positive, My Lord."
"Have you been able to call for any assistance?"
"The Astropaths have contacted other forces nearby. Unfortunately this has also alerted other loyalist forces in the sector and they are also headed our way."
"Bugger. So who gets here first then?"
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"It never rains, it only pours, hey?"
"Umm..."
"What!"
"The Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"It is?!"
"Yes."
"I'm confused. You're telling me that a mob called the 'Flesh Tearers' isn't one of ours but a mob called the - what was it again..."
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"Right... a mob called the Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"That is correct, sire."
"So who else is showing up to this barney then?"
"The Blood Drinkers."
"One of ours?"
"One of theirs."
"OK."
"The Iron Warriors."
"One of theirs?"
"No. One of ours."
"Go figure."
"The Dark Angels."
"Now I've heard of them. Followers of Slaanesh aren't they?"
"No, I think you're thinking of The Fallen, sire. The Dark Angels are Loyalists too."
"Bugger. So who else then?"
"The Emperor's Children."
"Oh, that one's too easy. They're obviously loyalists with a name like that."
"Um, not exactly my Lord."
"Really?"
"Yes, Lord. They're one of ours too."
"This is silly. All the really evil sounding names are being used by weakling loyalists while it seems as though the forces of chaos have got the naff monikers. Are there any more of these I should know about?"
"A few, Lord."
"OK then, spell it out for me, starting with Loyalists that sound like traitors and then moving onto traitors that sound like Loyalists."
"I will attempt to do so, Lord. OK - the Loyalists that sound like traitors... the Marauders, Rampagers, Destroyers and Storm Lords (all White Scar second foundings in point of fact)."
"I like the sound of the Storm Lords. You sure they aren't one of ours?"
"Quite sure. Then there's the Blood Drinkers and the Flesh Tearers - both of which are Loyalist second founding of the Blood Angels."
"With names like that I'd always assumed they were more bone headed followers of the blood god."
"Not so far, My Lord. Then there's the Red Talons..."
"I thought they were renegade pirates."
"No Lord, that's the Red Corsairs."
"Oh. OK. Continue."
"The Brazen Claws are loyalists too."
"Good name for a Khornate force though isn't it?"
"Yes Lord. Then there's the Black Guard (not to be confused with the Black Legion which IS one of ours), the Revilers, and the Raptors."
"Hold on a minute! The Raptors? They're definitely ours. Hell we've got a small unit of them attached to our forces haven't we?"
"My Lord, those are the troops known as Raptors but there is also a loyalist legion with the same name."
"Must get a bit confusing for the loyalists then?"
"I imagine so, My Lord. There are also the Doom Eagles, the Silver Skulls, and the Iron Hands (not to be mistaken for the Iron Warriors, who are ours)."
"Bloody hell. Is that it?"
"There are also some lesser known chapters that also seem to cause occasional confusion."
"Such as..."
"The Doomfarers are one that our forces have occasionally encountered."
"Oh yeah. Those yoyos. So what about the Chaos forces that sound like loyalists then..."
"Well as mentioned earlier there are The Emperor's Children, The Iron
Warriors, the Thousand Sons, the Lunar Wolves (who changed their name to the Sons of Horus and then to the Black Legion)..."
"Well at least they're easily IDed as one of ours now. The Black Legion eh? Now that's a proper name. Just postively oozes evil from every pore."
"Yes, Lord. To continue, there are also the Word Bearers, and the Alpha Legion."
"The Word Bearers? What kind of silly name is that for a Chaos Legion?"
"They used to be missionarys sire"
"We you'd think that once they switched to our side they'd change their name to something a little more in keeping with being evil mad men. I mean come on 'The Word Bearers'? It's a silly name."
"Yes my Lord"
"You know, I think the forces of Chaos should have proper Chaos names. There's no room for mistakes when you're called something like 'The World Eaters' or 'The Death Guard'..."
"Actually Lord, both those chapters had those names when they were loyalists."
"You're kidding."
"No, My Lord."
"Yeesh. I would have thought names like that would be a bit scary for the average imperial citizen. I mean "Yay we're being rescued by the World Eaters" just doesn't sound credible while "Aargh! Flee! It's the World Eaters" seems much more likely."
"Yes, My Lord. I believe the latter is more likely these days anyway."
"Makes no bloody sense at all."
"Yes, My Lord."
"Kill 'em all and let the Chaos Gods sort 'em out I say."
"Sounds like a completely reasonable approach to me, My Lord..."
That was good, made me laugh a lot! Also as a side note, the main reason SM chapters have such mean names is because they used to go around ravagig worlds that didn't swear allegion to The Emperor, it's no wonder most of m turned to Chaos, all they had to do is use find and replace 'The Emperor' and 'Khorne' or 'Nurgle' lol.
This has to be a space marine. He's pointing and screaming.
Most Certainly a Sergeant from the Planet Screamypointia
Maj. Tom wrote:
ihatehumans wrote:
Vargtass wrote:"My Lord, I bring news."
Typhus Marburg paused in his study of the situation map of the dreary little planet his forces were engaged in ravaging. "Yes?"
"Lord. Starships have appeared in the outer system and are on course for a landing. They have been identified as elements of the Flesh Tearers."
"Yeah? Tell them to sod off and find their own world. Tell 'em we got here first."
"Sire, you misunderstand. They are here to defend this world!"
"What! Why? It's a sorry state of affairs when the followers of Chaos start to defend the weakling Imperium from each other!"
"Um, Lord... the Flesh Tearers are a loyalist chapter."
"They are? With a name like that! Are you sure they're not one of ours?"
"Positive, My Lord."
"Have you been able to call for any assistance?"
"The Astropaths have contacted other forces nearby. Unfortunately this has also alerted other loyalist forces in the sector and they are also headed our way."
"Bugger. So who gets here first then?"
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"It never rains, it only pours, hey?"
"Umm..."
"What!"
"The Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"It is?!"
"Yes."
"I'm confused. You're telling me that a mob called the 'Flesh Tearers' isn't one of ours but a mob called the - what was it again..."
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"Right... a mob called the Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"That is correct, sire."
"So who else is showing up to this barney then?"
"The Blood Drinkers."
"One of ours?"
"One of theirs."
"OK."
"The Iron Warriors."
"One of theirs?"
"No. One of ours."
"Go figure."
"The Dark Angels."
"Now I've heard of them. Followers of Slaanesh aren't they?"
"No, I think you're thinking of The Fallen, sire. The Dark Angels are Loyalists too."
"Bugger. So who else then?"
"The Emperor's Children."
"Oh, that one's too easy. They're obviously loyalists with a name like that."
"Um, not exactly my Lord."
"Really?"
"Yes, Lord. They're one of ours too."
"This is silly. All the really evil sounding names are being used by weakling loyalists while it seems as though the forces of chaos have got the naff monikers. Are there any more of these I should know about?"
"A few, Lord."
"OK then, spell it out for me, starting with Loyalists that sound like traitors and then moving onto traitors that sound like Loyalists."
"I will attempt to do so, Lord. OK - the Loyalists that sound like traitors... the Marauders, Rampagers, Destroyers and Storm Lords (all White Scar second foundings in point of fact)."
"I like the sound of the Storm Lords. You sure they aren't one of ours?"
"Quite sure. Then there's the Blood Drinkers and the Flesh Tearers - both of which are Loyalist second founding of the Blood Angels."
"With names like that I'd always assumed they were more bone headed followers of the blood god."
"Not so far, My Lord. Then there's the Red Talons..."
"I thought they were renegade pirates."
"No Lord, that's the Red Corsairs."
"Oh. OK. Continue."
"The Brazen Claws are loyalists too."
"Good name for a Khornate force though isn't it?"
"Yes Lord. Then there's the Black Guard (not to be confused with the Black Legion which IS one of ours), the Revilers, and the Raptors."
"Hold on a minute! The Raptors? They're definitely ours. Hell we've got a small unit of them attached to our forces haven't we?"
"My Lord, those are the troops known as Raptors but there is also a loyalist legion with the same name."
"Must get a bit confusing for the loyalists then?"
"I imagine so, My Lord. There are also the Doom Eagles, the Silver Skulls, and the Iron Hands (not to be mistaken for the Iron Warriors, who are ours)."
"Bloody hell. Is that it?"
"There are also some lesser known chapters that also seem to cause occasional confusion."
"Such as..."
"The Doomfarers are one that our forces have occasionally encountered."
"Oh yeah. Those yoyos. So what about the Chaos forces that sound like loyalists then..."
"Well as mentioned earlier there are The Emperor's Children, The Iron
Warriors, the Thousand Sons, the Lunar Wolves (who changed their name to the Sons of Horus and then to the Black Legion)..."
"Well at least they're easily IDed as one of ours now. The Black Legion eh? Now that's a proper name. Just postively oozes evil from every pore."
"Yes, Lord. To continue, there are also the Word Bearers, and the Alpha Legion."
"The Word Bearers? What kind of silly name is that for a Chaos Legion?"
"They used to be missionarys sire"
"We you'd think that once they switched to our side they'd change their name to something a little more in keeping with being evil mad men. I mean come on 'The Word Bearers'? It's a silly name."
"Yes my Lord"
"You know, I think the forces of Chaos should have proper Chaos names. There's no room for mistakes when you're called something like 'The World Eaters' or 'The Death Guard'..."
"Actually Lord, both those chapters had those names when they were loyalists."
"You're kidding."
"No, My Lord."
"Yeesh. I would have thought names like that would be a bit scary for the average imperial citizen. I mean "Yay we're being rescued by the World Eaters" just doesn't sound credible while "Aargh! Flee! It's the World Eaters" seems much more likely."
"Yes, My Lord. I believe the latter is more likely these days anyway."
"Makes no bloody sense at all."
"Yes, My Lord."
"Kill 'em all and let the Chaos Gods sort 'em out I say."
"Sounds like a completely reasonable approach to me, My Lord..."
That was good, made me laugh a lot! Also as a side note, the main reason SM chapters have such mean names is because they used to go around ravagig worlds that didn't swear allegion to The Emperor, it's no wonder most of m turned to Chaos, all they had to do is use find and replace 'The Emperor' and 'Khorne' or 'Nurgle' lol.
Mattlov wrote:Stop quoting the giant text posts!
Stop what now?
I tink he said stop quoting large postal workers.
Large postal workers? Where? We shall Purge them in the name of the Emperor!
Vargtass wrote:There is nothing wrong with a Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White Bike <,<
theres nothing wrong with him... just 10 of us quoting him in his entirety, just so we can get our quirky comment in on the person who posted him in the first place
Vargtass wrote:"My Lord, I bring news."
Typhus Marburg paused in his study of the situation map of the dreary little planet his forces were engaged in ravaging. "Yes?"
"Lord. Starships have appeared in the outer system and are on course for a landing. They have been identified as elements of the Flesh Tearers."
"Yeah? Tell them to sod off and find their own world. Tell 'em we got here first."
"Sire, you misunderstand. They are here to defend this world!"
"What! Why? It's a sorry state of affairs when the followers of Chaos start to defend the weakling Imperium from each other!"
"Um, Lord... the Flesh Tearers are a loyalist chapter."
"They are? With a name like that! Are you sure they're not one of ours?"
"Positive, My Lord."
"Have you been able to call for any assistance?"
"The Astropaths have contacted other forces nearby. Unfortunately this has also alerted other loyalist forces in the sector and they are also headed our way."
"Bugger. So who gets here first then?"
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"It never rains, it only pours, hey?"
"Umm..."
"What!"
"The Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"It is?!"
"Yes."
"I'm confused. You're telling me that a mob called the 'Flesh Tearers' isn't one of ours but a mob called the - what was it again..."
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"Right... a mob called the Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"That is correct, sire."
"So who else is showing up to this barney then?"
"The Blood Drinkers."
"One of ours?"
"One of theirs."
"OK."
"The Iron Warriors."
"One of theirs?"
"No. One of ours."
"Go figure."
"The Dark Angels."
"Now I've heard of them. Followers of Slaanesh aren't they?"
"No, I think you're thinking of The Fallen, sire. The Dark Angels are Loyalists too."
"Bugger. So who else then?"
"The Emperor's Children."
"Oh, that one's too easy. They're obviously loyalists with a name like that."
"Um, not exactly my Lord."
"Really?"
"Yes, Lord. They're one of ours too."
"This is silly. All the really evil sounding names are being used by weakling loyalists while it seems as though the forces of chaos have got the naff monikers. Are there any more of these I should know about?"
"A few, Lord."
"OK then, spell it out for me, starting with Loyalists that sound like traitors and then moving onto traitors that sound like Loyalists."
"I will attempt to do so, Lord. OK - the Loyalists that sound like traitors... the Marauders, Rampagers, Destroyers and Storm Lords (all White Scar second foundings in point of fact)."
"I like the sound of the Storm Lords. You sure they aren't one of ours?"
"Quite sure. Then there's the Blood Drinkers and the Flesh Tearers - both of which are Loyalist second founding of the Blood Angels."
"With names like that I'd always assumed they were more bone headed followers of the blood god."
"Not so far, My Lord. Then there's the Red Talons..."
"I thought they were renegade pirates."
"No Lord, that's the Red Corsairs."
"Oh. OK. Continue."
"The Brazen Claws are loyalists too."
"Good name for a Khornate force though isn't it?"
"Yes Lord. Then there's the Black Guard (not to be confused with the Black Legion which IS one of ours), the Revilers, and the Raptors."
"Hold on a minute! The Raptors? They're definitely ours. Hell we've got a small unit of them attached to our forces haven't we?"
"My Lord, those are the troops known as Raptors but there is also a loyalist legion with the same name."
"Must get a bit confusing for the loyalists then?"
"I imagine so, My Lord. There are also the Doom Eagles, the Silver Skulls, and the Iron Hands (not to be mistaken for the Iron Warriors, who are ours)."
"Bloody hell. Is that it?"
"There are also some lesser known chapters that also seem to cause occasional confusion."
"Such as..."
"The Doomfarers are one that our forces have occasionally encountered."
"Oh yeah. Those yoyos. So what about the Chaos forces that sound like loyalists then..."
"Well as mentioned earlier there are The Emperor's Children, The Iron
Warriors, the Thousand Sons, the Lunar Wolves (who changed their name to the Sons of Horus and then to the Black Legion)..."
"Well at least they're easily IDed as one of ours now. The Black Legion eh? Now that's a proper name. Just postively oozes evil from every pore."
"Yes, Lord. To continue, there are also the Word Bearers, and the Alpha Legion."
"The Word Bearers? What kind of silly name is that for a Chaos Legion?"
"They used to be missionarys sire"
"We you'd think that once they switched to our side they'd change their name to something a little more in keeping with being evil mad men. I mean come on 'The Word Bearers'? It's a silly name."
"Yes my Lord"
"You know, I think the forces of Chaos should have proper Chaos names. There's no room for mistakes when you're called something like 'The World Eaters' or 'The Death Guard'..."
"Actually Lord, both those chapters had those names when they were loyalists."
"You're kidding."
"No, My Lord."
"Yeesh. I would have thought names like that would be a bit scary for the average imperial citizen. I mean "Yay we're being rescued by the World Eaters" just doesn't sound credible while "Aargh! Flee! It's the World Eaters" seems much more likely."
"Yes, My Lord. I believe the latter is more likely these days anyway."
"Makes no bloody sense at all."
"Yes, My Lord."
"Kill 'em all and let the Chaos Gods sort 'em out I say."
"Sounds like a completely reasonable approach to me, My Lord..."
That was good, made me laugh a lot! Also as a side note, the main reason SM chapters have such mean names is because they used to go around ravagig worlds that didn't swear allegion to The Emperor, it's no wonder most of m turned to Chaos, all they had to do is use find and replace 'The Emperor' and 'Khorne' or 'Nurgle' lol.
Mattlov wrote:Stop quoting the giant text posts!
Stop what now?
You know, I think I've found the solution to your problem. They're called Litko Aerosystems, and they manufacture terrain such as Space Corridors and Industrial Towers.
Excuse my good sir, But Perhaps you could be of assistance. I am looking for some Space Corridors to link up some potential Industrial Towers I may or may not at some point in the future commit myself to purchasing from a company that may or may not make them.
Could you perhaps inform me as to a company of this nature?
Gwar! wrote:Excuse my good sir, But Perhaps you could be of assistance. I am looking for some Space Corridors to link up some potential Industrial Towers I may or may not at some point in the future commit myself to purchasing from a company that may or may not make them.
Could you perhaps inform me as to a company of this nature?
Ahah! My man, you're looking for:
LITKO AEROSYSTEMS
Purveryors of fine Industrial Towers and Space Corridors!
Now, I won't provide a direct link to it, but on 1d4chan.org there is a gay rape story involving a space marine and an ork. Search for it if your dare;
Gwar! wrote:Excuse my good sir, But Perhaps you could be of assistance. I am looking for some Space Corridors to link up some potential Industrial Towers I may or may not at some point in the future commit myself to purchasing from a company that may or may not make them.
Could you perhaps inform me as to a company of this nature?
Ahah! My man, you're looking for:
LITKO AEROSYSTEMS
Purveryors of fine Industrial Towers and Space Corridors!
sA
Oh my GOD! Not that again lol
Its also funny how that space marine yelling and pointing seems to be able to make ANGRY FACE through his helmet! Now THATS anger
Gwar! wrote:Excuse my good sir, But Perhaps you could be of assistance. I am looking for some Space Corridors to link up some potential Industrial Towers I may or may not at some point in the future commit myself to purchasing from a company that may or may not make them.
Could you perhaps inform me as to a company of this nature?
I think you are talking about Litco Aerosystems, they have a website that sells specialized terrain for their chromostealers' and galaxy marines' miniature line.
Did you hear that you can use the Industrial Towers and Space Corridors made by Litko Aerosystems, and mix-n-match, so that you can have Space Towers and Industrial Corridors? Indeed.
Yo dawg, I herd you liked space corridors and industrial towers, so I made Litko Aerosystems so you can game with space corridors and industrial towers while you game with space corridors and industrial tower.
What about their Industrial Space Corridors for Towers? I heard that those were something else. Unlike their Space Industrial Tower Corridors, those sucked.
Gwar! wrote:Excuse my good sir, But Perhaps you could be of assistance. I am looking for some Space Corridors to link up some potential Industrial Towers I may or may not at some point in the future commit myself to purchasing from a company that may or may not make them.
Could you perhaps inform me as to a company of this nature?
I think you are talking about Litco Aerosystems, they have a website that sells specialized terrain for their chromostealers' and galaxy marines' miniature line.
Chrispy wrote:Did you hear that you can use the Industrial Towers and Space Corridors made by Litko Aerosystems, and mix-n-match, so that you can have Space Towers and Industrial Corridors? Indeed.
mcfly wrote:Yo dawg, I herd you liked space corridors and industrial towers, so I made Litko Aerosystems so you can game with space corridors and industrial towers while you game with space corridors and industrial tower.
wyomingfox wrote:Did someone say Litko Aerosystems...I just saw that they brought out a new line of terrain called Industrial Towers and Space Corridors.
You're all wrong, the company you're looking for is obviously Litko Aerosystems, with their amazing sets of Industrial Towers and Space Corridors.
.
Yep that's Litko. They also sell miniature bases and movement trays...but who wants that crap when you can get Industrial Towers and Space Corridors :O
No in all honesty, it was funny, when that original post was done. Buuuuuuuut its really annoying now. I wouldnt be surprised if this gets locked if that keeps up.... Then again all someone has to do is mention Dark Eldar and this puppy will get KA LOWESED
KingCracker wrote:No in all honesty, it was funny, when that original post was done. Buuuuuuuut its really annoying now. I wouldnt be surprised if this gets locked if that keeps up.... Then again all someone has to do is mention Dark Eldar and this puppy will get KA LOWESED
Dark... Eldar? What are they? Are they also created by Litko Aerosystems, creators of the excellent quality Industrial Tower and Space Corridor kits that no player should be without?
KingCracker wrote:No in all honesty, it was funny, when that original post was done. Buuuuuuuut its really annoying now. I wouldnt be surprised if this gets locked if that keeps up.... Then again all someone has to do is mention Dark Eldar and this puppy will get KA LOWESED
Unfortunately I have to agree, as much as I'd love to see how long Litko will last on it's second go around, this thread must not be locked
wyomingfox wrote:
Wait since when did Space Marines get Boob Jobs...I don't remeber that in the new HMO plan ?
This should go in the thread "you know when you've played too much 40K when" ... ... You feel the need to justify female marines with boobs and aren't prepared to simply enjoy the moment
wyomingfox wrote:
Wait since when did Space Marines get Boob Jobs...I don't remeber that in the new HMO plan ?
This should go in the thread "you know when you've played too much 40K when" ... ... You feel the need to justify female marines with boobs and aren't prepared to simply enjoy the moment
How can I when her breast are a jiggling! How is that even possible in Power Armour!
KingCracker wrote:No in all honesty, it was funny, when that original post was done. Buuuuuuuut its really annoying now. I wouldnt be surprised if this gets locked if that keeps up.... Then again all someone has to do is mention Dark Eldar and this puppy will get KA LOWESED
Unfortunately I have to agree, as much as I'd love to see how long Litko will last on it's second go around, this thread must not be locked
If I didn't have a job and a life to manage I absolutely would. As it is, I hardly even have time to paint my gaunts that have been assembled and primed for 2 weeks.
If Ref to the picture of the four space marines (not quoting the image for the umteenth time lol)
The only guy that looks the part if the guy kneeling.
Grunt_For_Christ wrote:You can't tell me these guys actually did this. Please tell me this is doctored. Please tell me these guys aren't real and that twit-ish.
I'm going to guess it's an ironic costume and they purposely made it all gakky to show how ridiculous spacehams are. Look at it all. It's all on purpose.
hellsguardian316 wrote:@halonachos, I'm sorry, you baited me to do this
In the year 50,000 all races will ally, then party
I don't know why but the Tau dude looks adorable
I hope you die for that, I hope you die a horrible death. If I had my promethium tank with me I would deal with you myself, but seeing as though the commissariat took them away for everything, you are safe. For now, I gotta replace the commissars diary. Good thing laspistols melt.
As to the picture of the pretend marines, the fellow in the dreadnaught is named Oscar Litko, cofounder of Litko Aerosystems.
Like I don't understand
If this thread is here for anyone
To just post what ever
Kind of jokes they have.
Or is this thread
Actually here for
Exciting things that
Really make you kind
Of laugh until you look
Silly because now
Your laughing at
Stupid jokes
That only an
Elephant would be able to
Make funny with his
Solid amount of weight!
Space is a wide area with no
Corridors and in the
Industrial workforce people want
Towers to be built to go there!
ihatehumans wrote:Like I don't understand
If this thread is here for anyone
To just post what ever
Kind of jokes they have.
Or is this thread
Actually here for
Exciting things that
Really make you kind
Of laugh until you look
Silly because now
Your laughing at
Stupid jokes
That only an
Elephant would be able to
Make funny with his
Solid amount of weight!
Space is a wide area with no
Corridors and in the
Industrial workforce people want
Towers to be built to go there!
Lolz!
Can someone please enlighten me as to where this joke originated from? Seriously... it's funny, but I need some background.
tahthing wrote:i dont really get the joke about litko aerosystems "space corridors" and "industrial tower" systems??
That's because you haven't checked out the hillarious Litko Aerosystems thread [ http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/230152.page#564180 ] which explains where you can purchase the amazing "space corridors" and "industrial towers" terrain...over and over and over and over again
I Once had a guy show up with a 40mm Scenic Base and say "This is my Lictor".
I Asked "WTF you on about" and he explained that his lictor was so sneaky you couldn't see it. Then the penny dropped and I realised it was a joke, and I even let him use it as his Lictor (made for a fun game )
Gwar! wrote:I Once had a guy show up with a 40mm Scenic Base and say "This is my Lictor".
I Asked "WTF you on about" and he explained that his lictor was so sneaky you couldn't see it. Then the penny dropped and I realised it was a joke, and I even let him use it as his Lictor (made for a fun game )
My cousin (jokingly) put one of the jungle trees on a 60mm base and called it a deciever. He doesn't even play Necrons...
In the middle of a local Tourny my Lictor came off it's ellaborate scenic base, I asked the coordinators for some glue and they said DW just use the base.
In the next three games, 2 people didn't realize he was even missing and just assumed somewhere in there was a Lictor model and the other guy totally freaked out and was like "OMG MAN HE COULD BE ANYWHERE!" "EVERYONE STAND IN THE OPEN!" I assumed he was making a joke and played along, but after our game I wondered if maybe he was being serious haha.
Some Guy at the shop once had a phantastic Lictor converted into a hobo, holding a papercard in his hands, with moveable arms. On the one side it would read "Will work for food", the other one had a childish-painting of a tree with "tree" written beneath, his arms could be adjusted so he would hold the sign in front of his head, as if hiding.
tahthing wrote:i dont really get the joke about litko aerosystems "space corridors" and "industrial tower" systems??
That's because you haven't checked out the hillarious Litko Aerosystems thread [ http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/230152.page#564180 ] which explains where you can purchase the amazing "space corridors" and "industrial towers" terrain...over and over and over and over again
and whats funny about it???????????puppyz????????????????killl???????????????me?????????????????
tahthing wrote:i dont really get the joke about litko aerosystems "space corridors" and "industrial tower" systems??
That's because you haven't checked out the hillarious Litko Aerosystems thread [ http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/230152.page#564180 ] which explains where you can purchase the amazing "space corridors" and "industrial towers" terrain...over and over and over and over again
and whats funny about it???????????puppyz????????????????killl???????????????me?????????????????
tahthing wrote:i dont really get the joke about litko aerosystems "space corridors" and "industrial tower" systems??
That's because you haven't checked out the hillarious Litko Aerosystems thread [ http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/230152.page#564180 ] which explains where you can purchase the amazing "space corridors" and "industrial towers" terrain...over and over and over and over again
and whats funny about it???????????puppyz????????????????killl???????????????me?????????????????
It just is. Also, repetition is funny.
not always on some other forums i go on some on got baned for repeating good like 200 times in one post!!!
Spoiler:
like good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good
this is done by typeing good then copying and pasteing it then copying and pasteing both goods then copying and pasteing all four goods then copying and pasteing all eight goods then copying and pasteing all 16 goods,etc,ect,ect......
repetition is not that funny
What made it funny was that a guy asked an honest question and 6 people responded without looking to see if it had been answered. At some point people realized that it had been answered like some twenty times and it became a gag to keep answering the original question as if it hadn't been answered previously as well as to ask the question in slightly differnet contexts. It got even better when a competitor of LITKO jumped into the thread and wanted to know if there was really a market for said terrain.
I found it hilarious and have to give Kid props on pointing out the thread earlier in this forum!
halonachos wrote:Isn't that Steven Wing, former head designer of the rather unpopular Industrial Corridors for Space Towers?
Industrial Corridors and Space Towers? What Utter nonsense. Such things are clearly cheap imitations of Litko Aerosystems fine Space Corridor and Industrial Tower Kits.
Chrispy wrote:You know, I think I've found the solution to your problem. They're called Litko Aerosystems, and they manufacture terrain such as Space Corridors and Industrial Towers.
Gwar! wrote:Excuse my good sir, But Perhaps you could be of assistance. I am looking for some Space Corridors to link up some potential Industrial Towers I may or may not at some point in the future commit myself to purchasing from a company that may or may not make them. Could you perhaps inform me as to a company of this nature?
smiling Assassin wrote: Ahah! My man, you're looking for: LITKO AEROSYSTEMS Purveryors of fine Industrial Towers and Space Corridors!
wyomingfox wrote: I think you are talking about Litco Aerosystems, they have a website that sells specialized terrain for their chromostealers' and galaxy marines' miniature line.
Chrispy wrote:Did you hear that you can use the Industrial Towers and Space Corridors made by Litko Aerosystems, and mix-n-match, so that you can have Space Towers and Industrial Corridors? Indeed.
mcfly wrote:Yo dawg, I herd you liked space corridors and industrial towers, so I made Litko Aerosystems so you can game with space corridors and industrial towers while you game with space corridors and industrial tower.
wyomingfox wrote:Did someone say Litko Aerosystems...I just saw that they brought out a new line of terrain called Industrial Towers and Space Corridors.
halonachos wrote:What about their Industrial Space Corridors for Towers? I heard that those were something else. Unlike their Space Industrial Tower Corridors, those sucked.
God Of Yams wrote:You're all wrong, the company you're looking for is obviously Litko Aerosystems, with their amazing sets of Industrial Towers and Space Corridors.
Gwar! wrote:Litko Aerosystems? Ah yes I remember now, Aren't they that Company that makes high quality sets of Industrial Towers and Space Corridors?
wyomingfox wrote:Yep that's Litko. They also sell miniature bases and movement trays...but who wants that crap when you can get Industrial Towers and Space Corridors :O
Waaaaaaagh! wrote:Dark... Eldar? What are they? Are they also created by Litko Aerosystems, creators of the excellent quality Industrial Tower and Space Corridor kits that no player should be without?
halonachos wrote:As to the picture of the pretend marines, the fellow in the dreadnaught is named Oscar Litko, cofounder of Litko Aerosystems.
Vargtass wrote:Would that be Litko Aerosystems who made the incredible...
ihatehumans wrote:Space is a wide area with no
Corridors and in the
Industrial workforce people want
Towers to be built to go there!
mcfly wrote:PS. got any space corridors and industrial towers?
God Of Yams wrote:By mentioning that now is the appropriate time to but Industiral Towers and Space Corridors form Litko Aerosystems...(couldn't resist)
halonachos wrote:Isn't that Steven Wing, former head designer of the rather unpopular Industrial Corridors for Space Towers?
Gwar! wrote:Industrial Corridors and Space Towers? What Utter nonsense. Such things are clearly cheap imitations of Litko Aerosystems fine Space Corridor and Industrial Tower Kits.
You know, I think we have been wrong all this time...what we were really looking for was Flying Tricycles' Elevated Walkways and Fortified Lines with Pillboxes
halonachos wrote:Isn't that Steven Wing, former head designer of the rather unpopular Industrial Corridors for Space Towers?
Industrial Corridors and Space Towers? What Utter nonsense. Such things are clearly cheap imitations of Litko Aerosystems fine Space Corridor and Industrial Tower Kits.
No, during some time Litko Aerosystems tried to sell them. Nobody wanted them so Steven Wing was fired and the Industrial Corridors for Space Towers were melted down into Industrial Towers and Space Corridors.
thekingofdinner wrote:So let me get this straight... Litko aerosystems created space corridors for use with their space soldiers and chromosome thieves models?
Yes, while the Industrial Towers were made to complete the set
...Damn it! Bad God Of Yams! stop posting about Litko, you're just feeding the fire!
thekingofdinner wrote:So let me get this straight... Litko aerosystems created space corridors for use with their space soldiers and chromosome thieves models?
Actually, Litko Aerosystems created its amazingly original line of space passages and industrial collumns for use with their Galaxy Marines and Chromo-Stealers
tahthing wrote:this is done by typeing good then copying and pasteing it then copying and pasteing both goods then copying and pasteing all four goods then copying and pasteing all eight goods then copying and pasteing all 16 goods,etc,ect,ect......
If you were really pro, you would have copied the first good, pasted it several times, and started from that point, pasting at a higher ratio than your copying.
tahthing wrote:this is done by typeing good then copying and pasteing it then copying and pasteing both goods then copying and pasteing all four goods then copying and pasteing all eight goods then copying and pasteing all 16 goods,etc,ect,ect......
If you were really pro, you would have copied the first good, pasted it several times, and started from that point, pasting at a higher ratio than your copying.
Yeah, who the hell spams like that? You're doing it wrong!
I read these jokes a long time ago, my apologies for butchering them.
There was once a guardsman recruit in the Steel Legion on Armageddon, who was about to go to the front line to fight against the ork menace. He had never seen combat, and was not confidant in his combat ability. Walking through the camp, he spotted a grizzled veteran sharpening his combat knife by the fire. The veteran beckoned the green recruit to join him.
"Listen, I can tell just by looking at you that you've never seen a real fight," the vet said, "so I'll give you some advice." The recruit nodded.
"When you fight them grots out there, those are the little ones, there are so many that yer lasgun will go empty pretty quick, so what you do is make your hand into a gun shape, point it at the little buggers, and shout 'ABANG ABANG ABANG!'. Grots are so stupid that they will think that they've been shot, and they will just fall over. It's saved my hide a few times."
"Err, thanks." Offered the recruit, skeptical of this advice.
Four days later the recruit was desperately defending his position against a tide of grots, surrounded by the ruins of his bunker and the bodies of his comrades. His lasgun's battery was dead, he was cut off from his regiment and prospects of seeing tomorrow were grim. Recalling the veteran's strange advice, he figured that he has nothing to lose. Steeling himself, he jumped out from behind the ruins and pointed his pretend pistol at the incoming grots. "ABANG ABANG ABANG!" he shouted, at to his astonishment three grots fell to the ground. With this encouragement he mowed down hundreds of grots, quite literally single handedly. Eventually only one grot remained. He pointed his finger at it and shouts "ABANG!". The grot didn't fall down. Confused, he tried again: "ABANG ABANG ABANG!", but the grot just stood there looking at him stupidly. All of the sudden he felt an incredible weight that forced him to the ground and crushed the lower half of his body. The grot jumped up and down shouting "ATANK ATANK ATANK!"
During the thirteenth Black Crusade there was a brave guardsmen defending his hill against approaching chaos marines. Peering over the trench he sees a wall of bulky, spiked shapes approaching through the thick fog. There is silence but for the intimidating thud and crunch of the approaching enemy. He looks at his lasgun with growing despair, it isn't much of a weapon. But he always believed that his wits was his best defence. FIRE! barks the officer, and the air is filled with las and bolts. After half an hour of struggle a grenade lands beside the guardsman and he flees the trench for a nearby hill. Scarcely was is he out of the trench when the explosion mutilates his fellow soldiers, but he is not out of danger. He almost impales himself on the spikes on the front of the traitor's armour in front of him. He steps back and just as the traitor raises his chainsword the guardsman shouts "Wait!" The marine pauses, interested.
"Bet you can't do this." challenges the guardsman, as he pulls out a cigarette, puts it in his mouth and uses his lasgun to light it.
"HA!" shouts the mighty chaos marine. "No pathetic guardsman of the false emporer can match the might of chaos! The armored behemoth leans over and takes one of the guardsman's smokes, puts into his mouth after removing his helmet, pulls out a plasma pistol and promptly blows his own head off.
I think we are suppose to keep it to 40K Humor...or baring that discussing all the potential combinations of Spaces, Corridors, Industrials, and Towers.
Non 40K stuff was the reason the thread got locked before, yes they are funny, but please keep it 40K everyone. I want to see just how long we can keep this thread going
40k and Star Wars completely unrelated? I present to you...INQUISITOR LORD VADER!
This model's owner counts him as an Inquisitor Lord. He hasn't had an argument yet.
Alright, this was a thread that appeared on the Penny Arcade forums a couple of years ago. It details one man's quest to build a simple IG force and in turn creating the most ridiculous 40k army ever contrived. Please note that the guy was absolutely serious. And that the thread contains swearing, but we're all older than 12, aren't we?
Read through the first 15 or so pages. Or until you get a bit bored. But that won't happen for a while. And there are some absolutely brilliant reactions the further you go in.
lalabox wrote:Alright, this was a thread that appeared on the Penny Arcade forums a couple of years ago. It details one man's quest to build a simple IG force and in turn creating the most ridiculous 40k army ever contrived. Please note that the guy was absolutely serious. And that the thread contains swearing, but we're all older than 12, aren't we?
lalabox wrote:Alright, this was a thread that appeared on the Penny Arcade forums a couple of years ago. It details one man's quest to build a simple IG force and in turn creating the most ridiculous 40k army ever contrived. Please note that the guy was absolutely serious. And that the thread contains swearing, but we're all older than 12, aren't we?
Read through the first 15 or so pages. Or until you get a bit bored. But that won't happen for a while. And there are some absolutely brilliant reactions the further you go in.
worlds most epic troll?
It wasn't actually. Everyone accused him of being a troll, but the mods of the forum went and emailed him and one of them even met him. He was totally legit. Just a little crazy
My son Turned Age just the Other Day
He rose through the ranks in the usual way
But there were wars to fight, and xenos to slay
He learned to fight while I 'was away
An' He was Commander 'fore I knew it An' as he grew
He'd say, I'm gonna be like you, dad
You know I'm gonna be like you
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
My Son turnd vet just the other day
He said thanks for the bolter now come on lets slay
Can ya teach me you shoot? I said not today
I got a lot to do, he said Thats ok
And he flew away, but his smile never dimmed
and said I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be just like him
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
Well He came from the Warp just the other day
So much like a Leader I just had to say
Son I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?
He shook his head and he said with a smile
What I'd really like dad, is to take the Alpha Leagues
See you later can I have them please?
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
I've long since united, My son broke away
He showed to my Palace just the other day
I said You committed treason and took from mine
He said Your empires in ruins, now its mine to bind
You see your time is over Now have at you
But its been sure nice talkin to you, dad
It's been sure nice talkin to you...
As I pulled out my sword It occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My Boy Was just like me
hellsguardian316 wrote:Dark Elder ... I think I've heard of these things, didn't GW used to make Dark Eldar models years ago?
5 boobs? gonna get me sum of this....
(who says Space Marines/Sisters of Battle don't party??)
As much as the music makes me want to apply a hammer drill to my inner ear.... give me a couple of days and my avatar will be replaced by a new animated gif...
You all should have gotten to at least page 5 you would have found this.
Ash
I have been secretly working on a new ork squad for my army I think you might appreciate
They are based on that one manga - you'll probably recognize it immediately once you see the model, I think it's pretty clear.
I tried to convey a sense of movement with this one. The idea is that he's about to stab you. I also tried mimicing your chibi style, but it's really difficult.
I've been sculpting and painting this thing for about a week now and I think it's almost done. I have been working a lot on layering the paint properly and blending my transitions. It's probably the best model I've ever done.
Upon reading that I nearly passed out from laughing so hard I could not breathe.
Ratbarf wrote:You all should have gotten to at least page 5 you would have found this.
Ash
I have been secretly working on a new ork squad for my army I think you might appreciate
They are based on that one manga - you'll probably recognize it immediately once you see the model, I think it's pretty clear.
I tried to convey a sense of movement with this one. The idea is that he's about to stab you. I also tried mimicing your chibi style, but it's really difficult.
I've been sculpting and painting this thing for about a week now and I think it's almost done. I have been working a lot on layering the paint properly and blending my transitions. It's probably the best model I've ever done.
Upon reading that I nearly passed out from laughing so hard I could not breathe.
lalabox wrote:Alright, this was a thread that appeared on the Penny Arcade forums a couple of years ago. It details one man's quest to build a simple IG force and in turn creating the most ridiculous 40k army ever contrived. Please note that the guy was absolutely serious. And that the thread contains swearing, but we're all older than 12, aren't we?
Read through the first 15 or so pages. Or until you get a bit bored. But that won't happen for a while. And there are some absolutely brilliant reactions the further you go in.
Some interesting conversions, but the ammount of hate on that thread was depressing. Seriously, some of those rude SOBs should sign up for the Darwin Awards .
Hmm... a hole in a helmet makes no sense. Its like putting a hole in a fence when you build it. Also makes her vulnerable to rear headshots from flanking enemies. Close combat would be a mess with that ponytail as well.
Hmm... a hole in a helmet makes no sense. Its like putting a hole in a fence when you build it. Also makes her vulnerable to rear headshots from flanking enemies. Close combat would be a mess with that ponytail as well.
Its a Imperial Femguard quit bringing logic into this.....
Hmm... a hole in a helmet makes no sense. Its like putting a hole in a fence when you build it. Also makes her vulnerable to rear headshots from flanking enemies. Close combat would be a mess with that ponytail as well.
Its a Imperial Femguard quit bringing logic into this.....
But, women are in the imperial guard. So technically this picture isn't even funny, its only a depiction of a female guardsman.
Or you can just discriminate and either say that women with breast too big are barred from the Imperial Guard or you can deny them service altogether and save yourself the hassly of crafting armour with shot traps.
lalabox wrote:Alright, this was a thread that appeared on the Penny Arcade forums a couple of years ago. It details one man's quest to build a simple IG force and in turn creating the most ridiculous 40k army ever contrived. Please note that the guy was absolutely serious. And that the thread contains swearing, but we're all older than 12, aren't we?
Read through the first 15 or so pages. Or until you get a bit bored. But that won't happen for a while. And there are some absolutely brilliant reactions the further you go in.
There is blood leaking out of my ears. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MEEEE!!!!???
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I think you are talking about Litco Aerosystems, they have a website that sells specialized terrain for their chromostealers' and galaxy marines' miniature line.
everything, you are safe. For now, I gotta replace the commissars diary. Good thing laspistols melt. 
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