Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

Ok there's this girl that I like and I've been friends for a while, but I know I'm deep within the "Friend-zone" but I want out. Anyways I said I "liked" her on one of my hang-outs which, you're not supposed to do when you're trying to escape

this dreaded "Zone". After hanging-out I did a little web surfing on how to escape being just friends and I found this one site (advice site links below) that gave me useful tips unfortunately one of the first tips is not to EVER say you "like" her.

So DakkaDakka, I ask you what is your advice on escaping the "Friend Zone"? I'll give you my game plan later.

Site Links:
http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Escape-The-Friends-Zone-In-9-Quick-Steps&id=581791
http://www.wikihow.com/Escape-the-Friend-Zone
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/escaping.htm

Wish I could help. At least I'm bumpin the thread for you. (sadly I've never had a gf at all, so no advice from me )

How do I get out of the friend zone?

Take em to a nice dinner, maybe the club, then bring them back to my place...throw on uniform of choice (turnouts or Class A) and let me tell you, the panties just drop my friend.

Failing that, Grab yourself and ask her out on a date.

If she says no, stay a friend but move on romantically.

I have so much experience with this! If you want to get laid, listen to me. I'm effing serious

http://ladderwiki.com/wiki/Main_Page - Basics, take with a grain of salt, but it will help you out.

You have to realize two things: 1. The only reliable way to get a girl to potentially like you (to switch ladders) is to leave her life and return again, redefining yourself and 2. if she's not into you or has friended you permanently (which is extremely likely; realistically you probably have no shot whatsoever), grow a damn pair and move on. Do not wait for her, do not be "noble," let her find out what she's missing and she may just be jealous enough to take you out of the zone herself assuming your new conquest isn't better anyway. Back to the first point:

Stop talking to her as much. Phase her out some. It can be as short as two weeks to transition or a few months or a year, depending on what you're going for, but make her come to you. Professing feelings does nothing for a chick who has friend zoned you. Her wanting you and chasing you does, however. Most important of all, no matter your course of action, KEEP YOUR COOL. Do not get week and NEVER look desperate. If she turns you down, say "okay, whatever" and get out your imaginary James Dean glasses/cigarette. Desperation is a huge turnoff.

In all likelihood you will have to NEXT this girl (doesn't mean you can't keep her as a friend). Keep your chiin up, be a dude and go after what you want, but be realistic. Sitting around waiting for someone has never done anything but screw the guy over.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:I have so much experience with this! If you want to get laid, listen to me. I'm effing serious

http://ladderwiki.com/wiki/Main_Page - Basics, take with a grain of salt, but it will help you out.

You have to realize two things: 1. The only reliable way to get a girl to potentially like you (to switch ladders) is to leave her life and return again, redefining yourself and 2. if she's not into you or has friended you permanently (which is extremely likely; realistically you probably have no shot whatsoever), grow a damn pair and move on. Do not wait for her, do not be "noble," let her find out what she's missing and she may just be jealous enough to take you out of the zone herself assuming your new conquest isn't better anyway. Back to the first point:

Stop talking to her as much. Phase her out some. It can be as short as two weeks to transition or a few months or a year, depending on what you're going for, but make her come to you. Professing feelings does nothing for a chick who has friend zoned you. Her wanting you and chasing you does, however. Most important of all, no matter your course of action, KEEP YOUR COOL. Do not get week and NEVER look desperate. If she turns you down, say "okay, whatever" and get out your imaginary James Dean glasses/cigarette. Desperation is a huge turnoff.

In all likelihood you will have to NEXT this girl (doesn't mean you can't keep her as a friend). Keep your chiin up, be a dude and go after what you want, but be realistic. Sitting around waiting for someone has never done anything but screw the guy over.

Well I'm certainly not afraid to lose her I did it last year and I'm definably willing to do it again if I have to, considering it reduces the amount of stress in my life. Yeah I'm thinking of not hanging out for a few weeks but I can't necessarily ignore

her completely considering she is in some of my classes. No I have not gotten weak and desperate, I don't let her dictate my life like I did last year I actually am quite able to live my life without her. Oh I'm going to keep all my true feelings to

myself from this point on.

Seduce her with vodka, and a bed covered in rose petals.

Shadowbrand wrote:Seduce her with vodka, and a bed covered in rose petals.

I don't think that's the greatest advice. Anyways so far my adventures in breaking the "touch barrier" have had mixed results sometimes she seems to enjoy it, laughing and smiling other times she gets all tense and nervous, there's also the

occasion where I accidentally hurt her or she puts on disapproving look.

Meh....Kids and their silly relationship issues.

First a couple of film reccommendation:
St Elmo's Fire.... watch it, especially Emilio Estavez's character and his obcession. Key point is near the end of the movie when he just lays it out, steps up and just kisses the object of his obcession, played by Andi MacDowell.

When Harry Met Sally..... sure it take YEARS but it does prove one point.... persistance can pay off.

Seriously, being a "friend" isn't as bad as people make it out to be. It gives you an in when she needs a shoulder or a hug...either of which can lead to other things. Something to think about... most women peak in looks between 25 and 35, though some have the good fortune of aging well. Being the one guy she can bitch to about men also helps you understand what SHE is looking for. Like being more reliable. or just giving honest opinions. As a "friend" guy you also get to see her at her most unprotected moments, you know, when she isn't all concerned with how she looks or what she is wearing while with you. She is way more likely to let things slip to a "friend" than some guy she is dating.
The hardest part of playing the long wait game is conquering jealousy.

My advice is this... you are young, look around a bit, flirt with other girls a bit, but don't stop being "friends" with this one.... And this bit is from some-one with 5 sisters..... women get jealous WAY more easily and frequently than men.

I'm not familiar with the Canuckian courtship and mating rituals, Milkdog, but Cannerus has it right for Uh'merca. No teenage girl is going to respond to a teenage boy mooning over her unless she's already been mooning over him. And since that's not your situation, the best thing to do is look around for another young lady. And start off flirting. If she seems responsive, go straight to asking her to a movie. Waste no time, lad. In the meantime, stop hanging out with the current one altogether. Don't ignore her; just friend zone her back. Then she can decide whether she's willing to work to get your attention back or not while you're doing something constructive.

Milkdog, let me tell you in all seriousness: you're only seventeen once. And even if this chick looks like Megan Fox (or someone you kids these days think is really hot), she is definitely not worth wasting your one and only year being seventeen.

Honestly, there is no tried and true way to get out of the friend zone. Each girl has her own wants and needs. So there is no easy answer for this. It is different for each girl.

Take what advice you can get here and see how you can apply it to your own situation.

Also, a general rule. Don't get hung up on one girl. It will only lead to disaster and wasted youth.

Hanging around in the "friend zone" usually winds up bad for you,and you've already admitted the excess stress you feel when doing so. Being stuck in somebody's FZ is an unhealthy relationship from the get go. She is getting everything that she wants/needs from the relationship,but you aren't,which isn't good emotionally for you. The other problem with admitting that you like a girl and staying in her FZ is that you've made yourself way too available. She basically knows that she can pick you up as her boyfriend whenever she feels like it,so she can be free to play the field and see what's out there knowing that you'll be there to fall back on. There is no real impetus or motivation for her to move you out of the FZ.

The best thing to do is distance yourself from her. Don't be rude or mean,but don't hang out with her,either. Don't go out of your way to avoid her,but don't go out of your way to be around her,either. At this point,you don't want this girl as your friend. You want her as your girlfriend,and you've fallen into the trap of thinking that if you become her friend,then you can progress the relationship to bf/gf. That simply doesn't happen very often. There is an off chance that pulling away from her will make her realize what she's missing out on,and she may try to take that next step,but more than likely,she just likes you as a friend. Since that's not what you're after,your best bet is to cut ties from the relationship entirely. You two have been around each other enough that if she wanted the relationship to go there,it would have. Since it hasn't,your best bet is to walk away from what's turned out to be an unhealthy relationship for you.

You must follow the Nuge's advice;

'When in doubt, whip it out."

This and this alone will obliterate 'Friend zone' for good or for bad.

Shadowbrand wrote:Seduce her with vodka, and broken promises.

Find another, then another, then another. If this friend of yours realises what she is missing then its all a bonus for you my friend.

You are 17 are you not? I envy your age, don't waste it by doing the old 'if only' routine.

Never. Going. To. Happen.

Best you can manage is a leg over. Beyond that, give up, hunt for new.

Okay dude, your not going to find any help on the internet, be it google, advice sites, or least of all a toy soldiers forum.

Khornholio wrote:You must follow the Nuge's advice;

'When in doubt, whip it out."

I didn't hear it from the Nuge, but from a black dude from Detroit. I said that I wasn't sure whether or not a girl I was hanging out with was interested and he turned his head slowly to give me a bemused look and said:

"Next time she's in your [Barracks] room, just pull your [self edit] out and say 'You gonna [self edit] this or what?"

This may have been the best piece of advice that I have ever been given. Btw, it worked like a charm.

I feel for you, I've been in the friend zone with just about every girl I've ever met...

Fortunately 2-3 weeks ago I met an amazingly beautiful and fairly intelligent girl at a party, who was overheard telling her friend that shes really "into" me, so I at least have a fighting chance of staying out of the friend zone this time lol.

Monster Rain wrote:

Khornholio wrote:You must follow the Nuge's advice;

'When in doubt, whip it out."

I didn't hear it from the Nuge, but from a black dude from Detroit. I said that I wasn't sure whether or not a girl I was hanging out with was interested and he turned his head slowly to give me a bemused look and said:

"Next time she's in your [Barracks] room, just pull your [self edit] out and say 'You gonna [self edit] this or what?"

This may have been the best piece of advice that I have ever been given. Btw, it worked like a charm.

Amusing how often that sort of thing actually works.

I met my first wife (yes,there's been a few) at a dance club (normally I avoided them like the plague..but had gone with some friends),she was tall,blond and beautiful and I made up my mind I had to get to know her.
After a few bottles of "courage" I made my way to were she sat with some of her friends.

"Want to dance?" I asked her boldly.
"No..not really." came her reply.
" Well...would you like to feth?!" I said,half expecting her to throw her drink at me.
After some stunned laughter,she replied " Well..maybe we should just dance first."

A year later we got married...of course three years later we got divorced...but that's a completely different story.

chaos0xomega wrote:I feel for you, I've been in the friend zone with just about every girl I've ever met...

Fortunately 2-3 weeks ago I met an amazingly beautiful and fairly intelligent girl at a party, who was overheard telling her friend that shes really "into" me, so I at least have a fighting chance of staying out of the friend zone this time lol.

You should find out her position on the Battlefoam issue before you get too serious though.

How will you raise the children?

Just ask bluntly "Will you go out with me?"

That will take you out the friend zone and if the answer is no it will stick you in Akward zone, where if you don't have a pass you will get a ticket. After a few days you will be removed and towed to friendville.

The advice from these people = pure win. Except for two of them. Which made me

Asherian Command wrote:The advice from these people = pure win. Except for two of them. Which made me

What made you facepalm, champ?

syanticraven wrote:Just ask bluntly "Will you go out with me?"

That will take you out the friend zone and if the answer is no it will stick you in Akward zone, where if you don't have a pass you will get a ticket. After a few days you will be removed and towed to friendville.

I've asked her-out dozens of times already and we've had many great times together but I'm still am a "Cuddle-Bitch" (a friend who gets lots of hugs and cuddles but no sex, kissing or romance) that advice isn't going to work for me unfortunately.

Don't do it anymore, Milkdog.

You're being used!

Guys, seriously, girls are not that mysterious. Tell her you love being her friend but want to be more.

Be confident, let her know that you want more out of the relationship. Tell her not to answer you now and simply leave her to think about it.

Let her call you... dont read websites, dont watch movies. Grow a pair, and tell her what you want. If she doesn't want the same thing...

Move on.

Women = 55% of the Population
Men = 45% of the Population.

More than enough to go 'round.

Monster Rain wrote:Don't do it anymore, Milkdog.

You're being used!

I know Monster Pain, that's why I'm not hanging out with her for a few weeks, talking to her less and until I have a new approach to the relationship.

Wait wait wait. A cuddle bitch?

Na na na, this does not happen to ma man! You tell her you want a serious relationship with a contract that allows for at least 1 threesome (the good kind) on a special birthday!

Cheesecat wrote:

Monster Rain wrote:Don't do it anymore, Milkdog.

You're being used!

I know Monster Pain, that's why I'm not hanging out with her for a few weeks, talking to her less and until I have a new approach to the relationship.

Just be honest and tell he exactly what you're thinking.

If she goes for it, good. If not, it's time to look at some new prospects! Insert a cliche here about fish in the sea being plentiful or something like that. And don't forget to blame the victim.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

syanticraven wrote:Wait wait wait. A cuddle bitch?

Na na na, this does not happen to ma man! You tell her you want a serious relationship with a contract that allows for at least 1 threesome on a special birthday!

The trick is to find a girl with whom you don't need a special occasion for this type of activity.

Cheesecat wrote:

syanticraven wrote:Just ask bluntly "Will you go out with me?"

That will take you out the friend zone and if the answer is no it will stick you in Akward zone, where if you don't have a pass you will get a ticket. After a few days you will be removed and towed to friendville.

I've asked her-out dozens of times already and we've had many great times together but I'm still am a "Cuddle-Bitch" (a friend who gets lots of hugs and cuddles but no sex, kissing or romance) that advice isn't going to work for me unfortunately.

jeez.. I bet you have been off your food and moping around haven't you?

Dude, you don't need advice, you need a slap...

THWACK!

Am I going to have to fly over to Sadville (Population: You), Canada and beat some real life sense into you?

Please, just move on, open your sad, dejected puppy dog eyes to the world that awaits you. You will find plenty of opportunity out there.

Monster Rain wrote:

Automatically Appended Next Post:

syanticraven wrote:Wait wait wait. A cuddle bitch?

Na na na, this does not happen to ma man! You tell her you want a serious relationship with a contract that allows for at least 1 threesome on a special birthday!

The trick is to find a girl with whom you don't need a special occasion for this type of activity.

That ve true, but it is always good to have it in writing. If nothing else but to brag to 'The Lads' about or in case they pull the 'I have a headache' lol.