Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

Granted. Everybody dies due to lethal logical contradictions.

I wish that lizard people did not control the Earth.

Granted. The earth is secretly controlled by Rat people and Robots. Oh and Robot-Rat people disguised as regular people. Watch out for those wierd oil and cheese cravings.

I wish to welcome our new overlords.

Granted. Turns out that they find greetings offensive and condemn you to spend the rest of your life in a dungeon whilst rats nibble on your toes.

I wish for GW to have a sale

Granted the items on sale are pyrovores, fine cast models with giant bubbles, citadel air spray paint guns that failed and finally space marine terminaitors.

I wish I had the new adaptus custodious boxed set.

Granted. They changed the miniatures into 3mm lasercut MDF flat blank cutouts of the models. It still costs you the same amount of money. Though you have to buy stickers with the prints of the model to stick on your blank cutouts separately for twice the price of the original set.

I wish for some lasercut scenery.

Granted. They cost £300 for a just a single tree and are made from a type of material that is poisonous to people.

I wish for a new box of plastic multi-pose Kroot figures.

Grants. They are multi pose.

First you have to build the 28mm skeleton bone by bone. Then add tiny muscles and work up from there.

They only take days of layering fraction of a mm parts.

...

I wish for a self refilling pot of nulin oil

Granted. But it gets knocked over and you and the world get flooded by endless waves of Nuln oil, those who try to swim away finding all their details disappearing and have a darker appearance.

I wish for 'Eavy Metal to release all their painting secrets.

Granted. The secrets are published in an ancient pre-columbian dialect that has not been seen before.

I wish for a Citadel buy one get one free sale.

Granted. It only applies to miscast finecast models, faulty overpriced tools and discontinued paint in ugly hard to paint colors nobody ever used.

I wish resin models where more easy to glue and paint.

Granted.
GW releases a new line of easy to assemble and paint resin models (with obligatory price hike), which you happily spend several hundred dollars on.
Only to find out shortly afterward that material is even more brittle than finecast.
No refunds, of course.


I wish I could go to the rodeo today.

Granted! Everything is going splendidly until a crazy ass bull named "Nutbusta" throws his rider and decides to make a break for it, easily hurdling the 6' safety fence and just as easily landing it's 2,000 lb. mass directly on you in the stands. But hey, you had a pretty good half afternoon!

I wish the guys excavating Oak Island would FINALLY FIND SOME DAMN TREASURE!

Granted.
They find lots of gold and its all cursed.
Anyone who digs it up is transformed into a sea slug.

Including you.
Hello sea slug.

.

I wish I had a mug of tea.

Granted! But the tea has a really rich 6' Sea Slug in it.

I wish I could grow a Banana Tree in my back yard.

Granted. The HoA slaps a fine on you, and forces you to cut down the tree.

I wish that I were a better painter.

Granted. You are a better painter than 8 year old Timmy, who finger paints his minis with craft store pastels.


I wish I had a Belgian draft horse.

Granted.

The Horse costs you thousands of dollars in vet bills, feed and building a stable.

I wish I had a a nice chocolate cake.

Granted. It's primarily made out of chocolate and Destroying Angel mushrooms.

I wish for some decent breakfast foods.

Granted.

Deep fried twinkies are now the breakfast of choice for America. Every family has a fried so they can prepare them fresh too!

I wish I had a extra hours sleep.

Granted. You had an extra hours sleep. As a result you were late for work, and promptly let go.

I wish to find a better shade of blue.

Granted. You find it, but not in a paint, but in a John Coltrane album. You then become obsessed with the saxophone and give up gaming altogether.


I wish that horses weren't quite so expensive to keep.

Granted. They are now cheaper than hamsters in upkeep. However they breed faster than the little buggers too and they are not picky in who the dance with so to speak.

Enjoy the plague of slowed inbred failhorsesthat devastate your countries flora.

I wish for happy ending too the warhammer 40k story line.

Granted. Everyone is saved, and they all bro fist.

Only for a new impending doom even worse to arrive.

I wish I had a plushy enderman.

Granted. It shreds apart due to poor construction.

I wish that I could fall asleep instantly, whenever I wanted.

Granted. Your new ability to fall asleep at will destroys your bodies natural rest and recovery cycle to such an extend that your are now constantly tired whenever you are awake. Sleep no longer gives you rest and as a result your health declines rapidly as you ironicaly start to suffer the effects of sleep deprevation and insomnia.

I wish had a shrink and enlarge ray so I can scale up my miniatures to make them more easy to paint and than shrink them down again to thier original size so that the paint job looks awsome.

Granted. The first time you fire it, massive amounts of energy are released due to increasing the mass of an object. A nuclear blast destroys you and your town.

I wish that my cat would stop eating my headphones.

Granted. Now it wants eat your Codex.

I wish for a new pile of old lead.

Granted! It just happens to be the lining of the Manhattan Project's nuclear test chamber. It does not go well for you.


I wish there was no Income Tax.

Granted. The lead is so old that it's undergoing radioactive decay.

I wish that my computer would stop horribly vibrating. It's really freaking me out.

Granted. (see above) There is no income tax if you have a computer that vibrates. But yours just stopped vibrating.

I wish to corrupt wishes one at a time.