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Granted. You get a job transfer to Uzbekistan.


I wish I was finished with my latest painting commission.

Granted. Your finished and you get no more so your finished forever.

I wish I had a nice hot chocolate....

Granted. It's nice and hot. So hot that it scalds your mouth and causes you to drop it, further burning yourself. A would be helpful passerby rushes to your aid only to slip and fall in the newly formed puddle. Afterwards you swear off of hot chocolate forever.




I wish I was bulletproof.

Granted. You are solid steel, and cannot move.

I wish my commission was done.

Granted but it looks like you painted it drunk, with a 9 inch roller, some paint that dried up 2 years ago and a glued it with a no more nails, a nail and a land raider that's got a leman Russ, a wave sperpant and a upside down dread knight all mixed in.

They ask for a refund.


..

I wish this film was less clichéd.

Granted. There's a missing reel.

I wish for a great summer movie season.

Granted but you are recruited, and sent to serve in a place without internet for 9 months in middle of amazon rain Forrest.

You get well paid but everyone spoilers them before you see them on dvd.

I wish I had a big cog to draw.

Granted. It rolls over you while you are checking perspective.

I wish for a weekend away.

Granted! The weekend away, however, won't occur for another 60 years.

I wish I could paint to a Slayer Sword winning standard.

Granted. You could, but you choose not to.

I wish for some inspiration.

Granted. Your inspired to...

Paint 1000 identical snap fit cadians.
You lose your sanity half way through thr second platoon but decide to finish them anyway.

I wish for a relaxing day to gets lots of mk3 painted.

Granted. But you paint them all like space wolves.

I wish to aquire more fireworks.

Granted. A truck carrying fireworks toppled over into your garden...

....and something's burning.


I wish I had Big Iron on my hip.

Granted. Its a 200kilo steam, digital iron with built in radio and trouser press with options for various materials.

A big iron indeed.

I wish someone would paint all my 30 or so marine helmets I need to do nicely and hoe I would like them.

Granted. I'd do it. For the standard rate that I charge for painting.

I wish for my Archmagos conversion to look good when it's done.

Granted. It looks more like Mad Mek than servant of the Omnissiah.
I wish people made more 40k inspired music.

Granted! The music is inspired by WH40K, but it sucks on every level.

I wish Slaanesh would get his/her ass back to the Warhammer AOS universe and bring some sexy back.

Granted. Slaanesh takes over the Mortal Realms and destroys everything else, because everyone is distracted by the sexy. The setting is irreperably damaged.

I wish to get a perfect 100 on my Physics exam.

Granted. Exams are now graded on the 1000% system and you fail badly, lose scholarship and end up living a life as janitor in a adult movie theatre.

...

I wish for a great conversion idea.

Granted. It would cost £350 to acquire all the parts for it.

I wish for a working TARDIS.

Granted. You have working TARDIS, but it's too small for you. Maybe you could train your hamster to use it.

I wish for pet duck.

Granted. It flies south for the winter, and never returns.

I wish for a good book.

Granted, it's a book considered good by Paul Ryan. Enjoy Atlas Shrugged.

I wish to fly an F-22 Raptor.

Granted. But you forgot the section on landing.

I wish that the Martian squid green party would stop trying to prevent my efforts to build a dark matter powered space ship with a super laser and cool gp faster stripes.

Granted. You found a way how to overcome their effort, but now its the laws of physics that stand in your way. You wish that the alien hippies were back.

I wish for cell battery that lasts forever.

Granted. Then your phone is stolen.

I wish to swim with barracudas.

Granted. Your genitals are bitten off. As are all of your limbs.

I wish for a kilogram of miscellaneous Mechanicus bits.

Granted. It 1kg of Arc Mauls.

I wish for box of Beastmen Gors

Granted.

There a box, but no models inside.

I wish for less derpy Primus assult marines.

Granted. They are replaced with Ork Stormboys.

I wish for lifelong supply of Mentos.