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2018/04/27 17:47:06
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Stubborn Prosecutor
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Gratned. You throw hadouken at president. President upcuts you with dragon punch. He gets reelected. You get jailed.
I wish to be able to fly by flapping my arms.
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Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.
https://www.victorwardbooks.com/ Home of Dark Days series |
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2018/04/28 01:29:36
Subject: Re:corrupt a wish!
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Longtime Dakkanaut
On a surly Warboar, leading the Waaagh!
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Granted! Unfortunately you become the latest victim of a voracious flesh eating bacteria that, for reasons unknown, seem to exclusively favor the delicious dermis of your shoulder areas...double arm amputation surgery is the only way to save your life.
I wish they did a remake of 'I Dream of Jeannie'.
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2018/04/28 08:33:37
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Bloodthirsty Chaos Knight
Las Vegas, NV
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Granted. Tyler Perry is Jeannie.
I wish a chauffeur was driving us to our new apartment in Vegas tomorrow.
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What's the matter, kid? Don't you like clowns? |
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2018/04/28 12:54:19
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Dwarf Runelord Banging an Anvil
Way on back in the deep caves
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Granted. He has no idea where he is going and you wind up lost in Utah.
I wish for a pig roast.
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Trust in Iron and Stone  |
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2018/04/28 13:29:12
Subject: Re:corrupt a wish!
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Longtime Dakkanaut
On a surly Warboar, leading the Waaagh!
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Granted! Porcine aliens, which had been observing Earth, are shocked by this brutal and horrific torture of one of their kindred call for an all out invasion of the planet in retaliation. We're now the bacon.
I wish I could have been a guest and attended a party at the Playboy Mansion while Hef was around. 
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2018/04/30 14:49:18
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Stubborn Prosecutor
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Granted, but it's only to give blowjobs to the Hef. He refers to you as 'Lube boy'
I wish I could go sailing on the ocean.
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Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.
https://www.victorwardbooks.com/ Home of Dark Days series |
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2018/04/30 15:02:37
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Hissing Hybrid Metamorph
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Granted, but you get lost and slowly die in the endless reaches of the sea where no one ever finds your corps.
I wish I wasn't lazy.
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2018/04/30 18:08:05
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Veteran Knight Baron in a Crusader
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GRANTED! You make I Phones for a living.
I wish my dogs could reliably take themselves for walks...
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2018/04/30 23:32:40
Subject: Re:corrupt a wish!
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Longtime Dakkanaut
On a surly Warboar, leading the Waaagh!
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Granted! They use their new found freedom of movement to get the hell away from you and party it up with the ladies.
I wish I had pet sharks with frikkin' laser beams on their backs.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/04/30 23:34:20
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2018/05/01 00:26:02
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Dwarf Runelord Banging an Anvil
Way on back in the deep caves
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Granted. They are very territorial and keep you away from your house.
I wish for a motorized beer cooler.
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Trust in Iron and Stone |
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2018/05/01 14:50:00
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Stubborn Prosecutor
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Granted. It's a exercise model who's speed away from you is directly proportional to your desire for beer.
I wish for more pens.
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Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.
https://www.victorwardbooks.com/ Home of Dark Days series |
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2018/05/01 16:43:26
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Veteran Knight Baron in a Crusader
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GRANTED! Your house & everything in it are now made from stacks of bundles together pens.
I wish for a 3D printer...
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2018/05/02 11:57:46
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Tough-as-Nails Ork Boy
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Granted, everything you print is alive (and suffering)
I wish for spiritual enlightment
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Imperials fists 2060  Orks 1100 
Firestorm and Star Wars Armada |
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2018/05/02 13:55:29
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Dwarf Runelord Banging an Anvil
Way on back in the deep caves
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Granted. You are as one with everything. But everything sucks.
I wish for cold beers.
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Trust in Iron and Stone |
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2018/05/02 15:57:53
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Veteran Knight Baron in a Crusader
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GRANTED! It's non-alcoholic.
I wish for a stuffed crust pizza...
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2018/05/02 19:03:06
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Did Fulgrim Just Behead Ferrus?
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Granted, but I'll let what's in the stuffed part be a surprise. 
Edit: I wish P&G would bring back the original Old Spice formula.
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This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2018/05/02 19:05:46
"Through the darkness of future past, the magician longs to see.
One chants out between two worlds: Fire, walk with me." - Twin Peaks
"You listen to me. While I will admit to a certain cynicism, the fact is that I am a naysayer and hatchetman in the fight against violence. I pride myself in taking a punch and I'll gladly take another because I choose to live my life in the company of Gandhi and King. My concerns are global. I reject absolutely revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method... is love. I love you Sheriff Truman." - Twin Peaks |
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2018/05/02 19:21:26
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Stubborn Prosecutor
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Granted, but only in Austria
I wish for a the ability to teleport home at will
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Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.
https://www.victorwardbooks.com/ Home of Dark Days series |
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2018/05/02 19:31:08
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Veteran Knight Baron in a Crusader
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GRANTED! But it only works from up to five feet away from home.
I wish the local pollen count would drop significantly...
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2018/05/02 22:13:54
Subject: Re:corrupt a wish!
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Longtime Dakkanaut
On a surly Warboar, leading the Waaagh!
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Granted! It does so as the local golf ball sized hail count rises exponentially.
I wish that for every one of my tax dollars that Scott Pruitt wastes, he gets a fish slap.
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2018/05/03 07:40:15
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Bloodthirsty Chaos Knight
Las Vegas, NV
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Granted. Fish become extinct.
I wish I was finished putting my new man cave together.
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What's the matter, kid? Don't you like clowns? |
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2018/05/03 12:42:15
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Dwarf Runelord Banging an Anvil
Way on back in the deep caves
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Granted. Your wife vetos the project. You're finished.
I wish the grill had some gas.
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Trust in Iron and Stone |
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2018/05/03 17:13:09
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Veteran Knight Baron in a Crusader
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GRANTED! It explodes!
I wish I could work from home...
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2018/05/04 02:29:00
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Bloodthirsty Chaos Knight
Las Vegas, NV
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Granted. It's from your nice new tent/home in the jungles of the Philippines.
I wish all the Raiders fans get dragged back to jail by their probation & parole officers.
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What's the matter, kid? Don't you like clowns? |
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2018/05/04 13:04:31
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Dwarf Runelord Banging an Anvil
Way on back in the deep caves
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Granted. They all blame you for setting a bad example.
I wish to find my old favorite shirt.
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Trust in Iron and Stone |
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2018/05/04 14:58:23
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Stubborn Prosecutor
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Granted. There's a live group of spiders in it.
I wish to go on vacation to Maui
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Bender wrote:* Realise that despite the way people talk, this is not a professional sport played by demi gods, but rather a game of toy soldiers played by tired, inebriated human beings.
https://www.victorwardbooks.com/ Home of Dark Days series |
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2018/05/04 15:08:42
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Veteran Knight Baron in a Crusader
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GRANTED! Soon after you arrive Mount Haleakala erupts and you are forced to evacuate.
I wish for a new pair of glasses...
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2018/05/05 12:34:01
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Dwarf Runelord Banging an Anvil
Way on back in the deep caves
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Granted. Their lenses, however, will be delayed for 3-6 weeks.
I wish to relax this weekend.
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Trust in Iron and Stone |
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2018/05/05 14:49:29
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Bloodthirsty Chaos Knight
Las Vegas, NV
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Granted. You relax so much you sleep through Monday and lose your job.
I wish I could shoot the landscapers that were outside trimming bushes at 6:45 am.
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What's the matter, kid? Don't you like clowns? |
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2018/05/06 06:12:44
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Dwarf Runelord Banging an Anvil
Way on back in the deep caves
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Granted. But your early morning aim is off and you hit the joggers instead.
I wish the neighbors would move away again. I liked the empty house.
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Trust in Iron and Stone |
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2018/05/07 05:01:09
Subject: corrupt a wish!
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Bloodthirsty Chaos Knight
Las Vegas, NV
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Granted but you didn't know they practiced black magic and they left a bunch of demons behind with no one to control them.
I wish I could play bass like Geezer Butler.
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What's the matter, kid? Don't you like clowns? |
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