corrupt a wish!

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**snurl**

Granted. But half of them are snuff films and you are jailed in a sting operation.

I wish to finish painting my Umber Hulk tonight.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. To fuel the wish I'll take your eyes.

I wish my package would arrive today

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. They didn't fill half of your order.

I wish the storyline from Yesterday's Enterprise where the Federation was badly losing to the Klingons would have been explored in a few more episodes.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! They develop the simmering romantic undertone developing within the Klingon ships' crews...they've obviously been in space w-a-a-a-a-a-a-y to long.

I wish I was enjoying a tasty beverage at the beachfront bar of the Kauai Hyatt right now.

**snurl**

Granted. Enjoy your Tab soda.

I wish tree branches would cut themselves up.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. They also cut people up too in their incessant branch gang wars.

I wish I could teleport instantly between home and work.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! But doing so ages you by five years each time you do it.

I wish for a yacht...

**snurl**

Granted. You own the Trump Princess and get aggrivated when kids throw rocks at it when it's moored in Atlantic City.

I wish for a Shelby Cobra.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! Enjoy your new 1:64 scale diecast Shelby Cobra.

I wish for a can of NanoSystems Vantablack spray paint...

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It doesn't apply to anything you spray it on...

I wish Black 2.0 was actually like Vantablack

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but making it so dark requires the the use of a black hole and you've doomed our planet to be sucked into one. Thanks, bro.

I wish I knew why Children Of The Grave by Black Sabbath and Call Me by Blondie kind of have the same riff.

**snurl**

Granted. You now know, and both of them are stuck in your head forever.

I wish for hollywood to make better movies.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! But it won't be for another 125 years.

I wish I could figure out where I want to take the family to dinner tonight?

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. You take them to the new BBQ joint and find out afterwards it's owned by the family from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. You've fed your family human meat from another family.

I wish the new Kill Team was out.

**snurl**

Granted. They are outside your house, gathering meat for their bar-b-que place.

I wish to find the perfect brand of paint.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but your miniatures be become so hydrophobic as to be unpaintable.

I wish the california high speed rail was done one way or the other.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! The rail is done but the trains won't be ready for another 50 years.

I wish it would rain more often here in Albuquerque...

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. Since that city has insufficient drainage for heavy rain your home ends up under 8 feet of water.

I wish I wouldn't have missed the High Priestess show at The Dive Bar.

**snurl**

Granted. You didn't miss it because you were the featured act.
You get catcalls and odd looks now everywhere you go.

I wish for a quiet evening.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. You go deaf.

I wish for less drama in my life

**gruebot**

GRANTED! You turn into a frog.

I wish I had summer's off...

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted unemployment for 3 months leads to depression and being committed to a mental hospital.

I wish the local Wild West Exodus league was starting this week and not next week.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! It starts this week but you're the only one that shows any interest...it is abruptly cancelled.

I wish the Germantown Commissary BBQ restaurant in Memphis would open a satellite restaurant at the end of my block.

**snurl**

Granted. But their are problems with their permits and the place cannot open for over a year, causing a huge loss from which the owner cannot recover. It is sold off at an auction later, and you are gifted with the sign.

I wish to find where i put my undead bits box.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but now they are real undead bits and the moaning iws driving you nuts

I wish for 8 hours of sleep

**gruebot**

GRANTED! You get a total of 8 hours sleep over the next two weeks.

I wish I had more time for gaming...

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. A global pandemic kills everyone except you. All the time for gaming in the world but you'd better like playing solitaire.

I wish auto insurance rates in this mostly worthless state weren't so high.

**snurl**

Granted. You are the only driver in the state. But everyone demands that you give them a ride.

I wish that GW was great again.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. They are widly successful, with 8th edition 40k and AOS 2nd edition hailed as the most widely purchased and played miniature games ever. You, however, are the only person who doesn't like the product. You are doomed to sit forever alone on internet forums that no longer allow complaining about GW products.

I wish the internet only contained happy things

**gruebot**

GRANTED! The entire internet is now a single webpage with a looping video of a cute Otter eating biscuits.

Spoiler:

I wish my client knew what he wanted...