corrupt a wish!

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**Hawky**

Granted. It's written in morse code.

I wish Vostroyans got released as a plastic kit.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It's a single pantless vostroyan as a limited edition Necromundan bounty hunter.

I wish I had a 1TBps internet connection

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. It's $500 a month.

I wish the new Kill Team wasn't so effing tempting.

**snurl**

Granted. Seen the price?

I wish to complete a project on time.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. Your new prowess makes the boss thinks you're gunning for his job and he fires you.

I wish our cats could do laundry.

**snurl**

Granted. But they choose not to, it's below their stature.

I wish my truck would wash itself.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but the first step to cleanliness was to get a better owner.

I wish for a dinosaur sidekick

**gruebot**

GRANTED! It's a velociraptor that eats all your friends.

I wish I could take a nap right now...

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. You have narcolepsy and will be taking a lot of naps from now on.

I wish I would have gone to bed before 4 am last night/this morning.

**Hawky**

Granted. You went to bed before 4 am only to sleep in either way.

I wish for a Death Korps trench shovel.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! You have been "enlisted" into the Astra Millitarum and are to be shipped out IMMEDIATELY to the Death World of Kreig.

I wish Fantasy Flight had released an expansion for Forbidden Stars...

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It's a kid friendly PBS themed expansion

I wish I was a sea captain

**snurl**

Granted. Your first assignment is the Titanic.

I wish the good seafood place was closer.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! It's right next door and the dumpsters are practically in your front yard.

I wish for a time machine...

**ChargerIIC**

Granted but time is static-linear, causing you to cease existing as soon as you travel to either the future or past.

I wish the US Politics thread turned civil.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. It will happen the same day Hell freezes over.

I wish Hollywood would never screw up Dune with a bad adaptation ever again.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! It's never even attempted...thank God!

I wish Scott Pruitt a long and pleasant retirement...in the Joliet Correctional Center, with a cellmate whose nickname is "Tarzan-Lord of the Gapes".

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. As the sentence-passer, it's also your job to be Tarzan for the next 30 years.

I wish to own a herd of cows

**Hawky**

Granted. You have a herd of cows in your downtown flat.

I wish I could understand dolphins.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! They only ever talk about American politics.

I wish I hadn't run out of coffee creamer this morning...

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. You've run out of coffee.

I wish I was faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive.

**Hawky**

Granted. Then you wake up in hospital. Diagnosis: drug overdose.

I wish real world physics was replaced by Ork physics.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! Unfortunately, you're a grot standing too close to a Big Mek with a powered up Shokk Attack Gun.

I wish Sarah Huckabee was afflicted with Fletcher Reede's inability to lie.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. After honestly answering questions in a press conference she is never seen again.

I wish our cats caught hundred dollar bills instead of bugs.

**Drey**

Granted, instead of bugs your cat now brings you a hundred, dollar figurines named Bill.

I wish for the ability to make better wishes.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! You are now BigWaaagh.

I insert, er-I mean, I wish cold breakfast pizza was really just fresh pizza...

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. The cheese melted all over your refrigerator last night.

I wish Steam VR Headsets were cheap

**ApaceKittens**

Granted. to facilitate the price drop they are now "headsets" that you insert your late model phone into. (not compatible with 99% of devices. BYO sound. Not controller compatible. Premium version available)

I wish I had a warlord titan.

**snurl**

Granted. It is poorly cast and falls over a lot. For no good reason.
Sometimes you find it watching you at night.

I wish for a long vacancy next door.

**Hawky**

Granted. You have been kidnapped and imprisoned by your dominatrix neighbour.

I wish for unlimited capacity bookcase.