corrupt a wish!

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**ChargerIIC**

Granted. The colon/intestinal cancer put you on an IV Diet for the rest of your life

I wish for an everlasting gobstopper

**Hawky**

Granted. You got an endless bag. Since there was an infinite amount of gobstoppers, thus weighting an infinite amount of Kgs, it created a supermassive black hole that destroyed the Milky Way.

I wish to be a real Tech-priest.

**snurl**

Granted. In about 100 years, with a good record, you will be promoted to Acolyte.

I wish to buy a 2019 Barracuda.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, you wake up in the morning with your brand new car and all your other world posessions being loaded onto a truck. There's a note from the car dealership stating 'No Take-Backsies'.

I wish I could get delicious burritos delivered to me at work.

**Valkyrie**

Granted, but they're far too sloppy to eat without ruining your work clothes.

I wish I could always wake up fresh in the morning without needing tea and a smoke first.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. You need coffee and a dip instead.

I wish we used quatloos for money.

**Hawky**

Granted. You died in the arena while fighting for them.

I wish I could walk through walls.

**snurl**

Granted. You get tremendous bills from people whose walls you've wrecked.

I wish to eat at a nice restaurant soon.

**Hawky**

Granted. You went on a date with the hottest girl you know, but she left after you told her you are collecting plastic figurines. At least you now sit at a nice restaurant. Alone. With her bill to pay.

I wish I could sit faster than you can walk.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but the first time you sit down at your job you kill a coworker that gets in your way.

I wish Zeppelin would do a 50th anniversary tour.

**snurl**

Granted. Zeppelin has forgotten all of their words. So they hum.

I wish to see more concerts.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! You win free tickets for life to The Trumpapalooza Family Christmas sing-a-long. Melania's Count Dracula-esque accent really drives home 'Jingle Bells'.

I wish tennis balls were really Tribbles.

**snurl**

Granted. Tennis players hate you.

I wish to find time for everything.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! You have all the time and none of the means to do anything.

I wish I were a GKR Pilot...

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but as soon as there's a lawsuit from Bandai you will cease to exist.

I wish I was the Kwisatz Haderach.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! You are the Kwisatz Haderach on a planet of Kwisatz Haderachs.

I wish Peanut Butter wasn't so fattening.

**ChargerIIC**

Greanted. It's poisonous.

I wish I could be in two places at once

**gruebot**

GRANTED! You are at the US-Mexico border with one foot in El Paso and the other in Juarez.

I wish the 2011 Conan the Barbarian movie had actually been any good...

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. It was so good now every movie shall be about barbarians.

I wish that big lunch wouldn't have made me sleepy.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! That big lunch belonged to a heavy weight boxing champion who knocked you out for eating it.

I wish dinosaurs still roamed the earth...

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. Hundreds of old people and children have been eaten. Everyone blames you.

I wish people grew feathers as evolution intended

**Hawky**

Granted. Humans grow feathers on their faces, but nowhere else.

I wish communism disappeared from the face of the Earth.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! Communism has been replaced with Burning Man's "Gift Economy".

I wish for an Art Car...

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! You've got a Cadillac Escalade adorned with a glam centerfold-style layout of Sarah Huckabee Sanders airbrushed across the entirety of it.

I wish I owned a chalet in Chamonix.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. But you are banned/exiled from France after someone releases the previous owners were killed in a terrible occult ceremony and nobody can find evidence that you acquired the Chalet legitimately

I wish to own the means to interstellar space flight.

**Valkyrie**

Granted. You now have a craft capable of travelling across space, although you are the only passenger and must spend years isolated during the journey.

I wish I could get the hang of highlighting and blending models.

**snurl**

Granted. You understand it percectly but still screw it up every time.
I wish to paint some more blacklight attractions.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! Trump commissions a giant blacklight painting of himself and Count Chocula, erm, Melania on the side of the White House.

I wish I could get a table at Alinea any time I wanted.

**Hawky**

Granted, but all the personnel there are morbidly obese, ugly and naked.

I wish I won the Eurojackpot.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but it was an accident by a hacker looking to make themselves rich and you now look like an accompliance.

I wish for a life-sized leman russ