corrupt a wish!

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**Hawky**

Granted. A blonde bearded brute is now running around your house, smashing everything and threatening your life unless you explain why there are miniatures of the Dark Angels in your showcase.

I wish for an AC in my house.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! You have central AC in your house which is powered by a portable Cold War-era Soviet power unit that kicks off an absurdly high level of radiation throughout your abode. Your perfectly preserved, chilled, hairless and green-glowing corpus is found by local officials who are investigating why all vegetation within 11 miles of your residence has died and the insects within the same vicinity seem to have morphed to 5x their normal size.

I wish for a tin of Beluga Caviar, a bottle of 1992 Dom Perignon and Margot Robbie.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. She shows up with the police looking for her stolen champagne and caviar.

I wish there was a bounty on all clowns.

**snurl**

Granted. But no one can collect it, because the clowns keep popping back on their feet when they've been shot.

I wish for everyone is a clown day.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted but in trade, clown day will never end for you. Every day you will wake up with floppy shoes and a bright red nose, doomed to forever hear 'scary clowns' taunts from teenagers who don't even get the reference and to be beaten by small children. You try to take the outfit off, but it keeps growing back ala Santa Clause.

I wish IT had been written about a monster that looked like a politician instead of a clown.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. You get Jeff Sessions instead of Pennywise and it's now hilarious instead of scary.

I wish for a foot rub.

**snurl**

Granted. You get a foot rub from a posse of horny skunks.

I wish to trim the hedges later today.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. Treebeard and his ents come and demolish your house for torturing his friends.

I wish the Song Of Ice And Fire minis game was released today.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It's a giant flop that only ever sells a half-dozen copies. None of your friends buy in.

I wish to learn the way of the arrow

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! Your skills, however, only seem to manifest when using a plastic Wal-Mart bow and arrow set that has the arrows with the rubber plunger tips and an effective range of about 4 feet.

I wish I had a real 'Get out of Jail Free' card.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. Society collapses, there's no more jails, you've wasted a perfectly good wish.

I wish the chapter rules for Kill Team were available.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It's a blank piece of paper.

I wish for Primaris Sisters of Battle miniatures

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! They are scheduled for release right after the Squat launch.

I wish Rick Bayless was my personal chef.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but he's actually a Russian assassin and he's going to test new poison on you.

I wish our cats played Kill Team.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted but they won't play with your lame butt.

I wish my cats paid rent in US Dollars and not dead animals.

**Marmatag**

ChargerIIC wrote:
Granted but they won't play with your lame butt.

I wish my cats paid rent in US Dollars and not dead animals.

Granted.

Your cats move out, to an upscale part of town, to an apartment of their own. They pay their rent and all expenses in real dollars, stolen from you. You never see them again, and can only trace their existence by your mysteriously dwindling bank account numbers.

I wish for true happiness.

**Hawky**

Granted. You won three hundred, eighty-five thousand, nine hundred and sixty-one hardback paper copies of this book.

Spoiler:

I wish for a statue of myself to be raised in the city square.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! Your statue is raised in the city square...it's 3" tall and is immediately stolen by an 8 year old for use as terrain on his gaming board.

I wish another 'Taxi' TV series was created.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. it's a gritty political parody about weaknesses of the Obama administration and make giant leaps to hint that hitler wasn't wrong.

I wish my apartment would double in size and number of rooms.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but you're too poor to pay for the rent increase it so you get evicted.

I wish I got a free cocktail waitress along with my free drink at the casinos.

**snurl**

Granted. She is free but she has every form of clap known to man and you catch them all.

I wish for more memes.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It's only one meme. In exchange your internet connection will start rejecting all image and movie files for the next 5 days.

Spoiler:

I wish for a four legged wulfen dreadnought.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! It's being ridden by a regular Space Wolf dreadnought.

I wish for Warhound Titans...

**Hawky**

Granted. *STOMP!*

I wish to know da wae

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It's the wae of paine.

I wish for 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep

**snurl**

Granted. Next comes 72 hours of sleepless insomnia.

I wish for a bigger budget.

**Hawky**

Granted. Your budget for toilet paper had to be increased due to explosive diarrhea.

I wish to be a fish.

**Valkyrie**

Granted, you are now selfish.

I wish for a set of brushes that never fray or degrade, that stay in perfect condition forever.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! The packaging on your new brushes is unopenable.

I wish my titans would magnetize themselves...

**snurl**

Granted. They cling to passing trucks and are never seen again.

I wish for meteor strike.