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I'm going to write it up tonight. Do I post it on here? It may get a bit long. I'm going to try and make it a comical read though

Go for it! Here is fine. Did you manage to take any photos?

Yes lots!
I spent four and a half hours in total at the Workshop- the manager was helping as was a few guys who popped in they stayed for 2 hours guiding me through it so I have a lot of information to write. Was loads of fun and the victor bought me lunch!

Sounds like you pulled, Joey! Looking forward to your battle report.

Looking forward to the bat rep Joey, those first games are so hard as there is so much to take in. Its all good learning experience though.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Looking forward to the battle report!

Joey’s Battle Report: Wood Elves VS Tomb Kings.



So- this is my first battle report and I’m unsure of any specific lay outs it’s meant to be in. I’m just writing what comes naturally to me.

**Don't worry video fans - there will be a video of this up Saturday Night. (GMT) I've been super busy at work and people are hounding me for details of the Glorious First Battle, so I'm posting this quick summary***

I walked into Games Workshop case in hand and nervous at the realisation that I wouldn’t be playing a staff member who would basically tell me what to do and how many dice to roll, but a real person with more experience than me and the desire to win as much as I did. My opponent was very nice to me and helped me set up and though we were both beginners I was clearly still new to even the earliest preparations required. I shakily took out my dryads and noticed Treevous -My Poor Treevous- hadn’t survived with limbs intact through the journey and I made a feeble attempt to make him whole again. He ended up Threevous. My treekin looked menacing and agitated and I made a point to place them as far forward as possible. “Take that TK chariots- I plan to mess you up” I said... to myself. I also asked for a wood and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw one was already on the table. I exchanged a quick grateful glance with the manager thanking him for the comfort blanket that was my forest.

With all my units set up in the best way I could manage. We rolled. I won. My turn first. (I forgot/didn’t write down what I rolled just what happened)


--==THE DEPLOYED ARMYS==--


First turn- Wood Elves
Movement- Dryads moved to the forest. Treekin to the front as my offensive. Glade guard to the left scouts the my other woods in the centre.

Magic- Level 1 Spellsinger casts tree singing; successfully move trees 2 inches forward!

Shooting phase- Took out four skeleton archers with my glade guard that were directly opposite. No wounds from my skirmish guard in the woods to the chariots- toughness was too high.... worth a shot...See what I did there?


Tomb King Turn 1
Movement- His Chariots charged my cavalry. I roll to flee and run 8 inches back to avoid that nasty impact damage... Score!

Magic- His liche tried to cast Ptra’s Incantation of Ricthous Smiting, which not only would give his archers 2x attacks, but regenerate dead solders! He had 7 power dice and I got 6 dispel dice. Since he only had a 1 level 1 wizard, I threw everything I had: double six - DISPELL!!

Shooting- One of my glade guard died- this made me sad/angry and momentary visions of melting my opponents miniatures flashed before my eyes before I regained self control. I did not melt his figures.
A failed charge from his chariots meant they could not shoot.


--== THE BOARD AT END OF TURN ONE ==--


Wood Elves- Turn 2
Movement- Charged treekin into chariots. It was glorious. I failed to rally my glade riders and they fled 12 inches and I lost all respect for them.
I moved glade guard 5inches to get into short range for my strength attack bonus. Boo yah.

Magic- moved the trees 3 inches forward providing more cover. My branchwraith’s (THREEVOUS!) attempt was dispelled. Rage images occurred- I in turn dispelled them.

Shooting- Killed 3 more skeletons with my glade guard.

Combat- Treekin vs Charots. I got to roll 10 attack dice. as Mossen Chops is an Treekin elder. With this I destroyed one chariot.
Retaliation- 9 attacks failed. Horses Failed- Chariots suck.
TREEKIN STOMP! Oh ! Stomp is amazing! I obliterated another chariot which caused the remaining dusty git to crumble due to losing the combat! A thank you!


--== MOMENTS BEFORE THE CHARIOTS WERE DESTROYED BY MY STOMPIN' GOOD TREEKIN ==--


Tomb kings turn 2
Apophas- the sneaky sod rose up behind me to rear end my glade guard.
The massive heavy duty skeleton tomb guard moved to my treekin.

Magic- He resurrected 2 skeletons.

Shooting- I lost two glade guard

Combat- Viney face Treekin died. In retaliation I killed 2 of his unit and I suffered no further wounds due to ward save.

So this is where it starts to fall apart....


--== SNEAKY APOPHAS APPEARED FROM BENEATH THE SANDS! ==--


Wood Elves Turn 3
I manage to rally my glade guard.
No movement required.
Magic (THIS IS WHERE I SHOULD HAVE USED HAIL OF DOOM ARROW! WHY DID I NOT?! WHY!>!?!) No... I use tree singing.

Shooting. Kill five Skeleton archers.

Combat. Only 1 killed Tomb Guard with my remaining two Treekin- My elder died and my other one ran. Treekin Gone.


--== HAHA HE HAS MORE DICE THAN ARCHERS NOW! ==--


Tomb king turn 3
Shooting- Killed one of my skirmish glade guard in the woods.
Apophas’ breath attack killed 5 and ruined me. This made me flee and he cased me down and killed me! The scoundrel! My deep hatred of Apophas begins here. At least I took 3 of his 4 wounds off him!


--== SECONDS LATER THE WHOLE UNIT WAS ENGULFED IN SWARMING SCARABS AND DIED ==--

Wood Elves Turn 4
Movement- My dryads drag their asses from the woods and meet the tomb guard for combat.
Magic- Treesinging Dispelled.
Combat- 4 wounds curtsey of my dryads they take a heavy beating and flee 6 inches. Treevous/threevous in fairness wasn’t on top form that day. I forgive them.

As it stands. I have left;

50% Of my dryads left.
All 5 Glade riders
And 4 skirmish Glade guard.... It’s not looking good.

Tomb king remaining- Massive regenerating tomb guard of 23 including 2 characters. THIS IS WHERE I NEEDED HAIL OF DOOM ARROW YOU FOOL.
Apophas
6 skeleton archers.

Tomb kings Turn 4
He flew (oh god he can FLY!) Apophas into a gap between my two units.
I dispelled his regeneration attempt.
Shooting- 1 scout gone from arrow fire. They took a leadership test and aced it. Good boys.


--== APOPHAS SETS THE TRAP ==--


Wood elves Turn 5
I moved my glade riders in a circle around the tomb guard with the idea of shooting them and running away if they shot me. Sadly this moved them pretty close to the ticking time bomb that was his secret weapon. The biggest mistake of the match here is killing Apophas... because he exploded into a cloud of scarabs killing 3 of my glade riders, which ran away in fear and 1 scout, leaving just two who continue to stick it out by passing the leadership test.


--== AND THIS WAS THE SCENE AFTER THE DAMAGE WAS DONE ==--


About here it’s been 4 and a half hours and I have no spellsinger- no treekin- 5 dryads running for their lives and 2 badass scouts left standing proud for me.
So I call the game- I need food. There’s no coming back from this. He beat me. So I shake his hand, give my remaining guys a slight nod of pride and telepathic “it’s ok you tried” speech and pack them away.

So here it is. My many mistakes and achievements and waiting it out too long and missing opportunities but I bloody enjoyed it and the victor bought me lunch. Well played sir... well played.

Very, very nice! Reallly glad to see you get a game in so early with your miniatures!

Nicely done!

A few things
1. you can not stomp against chariots (only warbeasts swarms and infantry) though that is also a mistake on his part so oh well

2. Did you have a uni champ in the unit aphoras charged? If so you could of just challenged him and he would not of done much.

Other than that great game and your models look great on a table!

Nice report, shame about the outcome - atleast you got a meal out of it. Don't play fantasy myself but generally I'd suggest trying to use your force as a whole rather than a few individual units. Try to use units to support each other, target one of his units hit it with everything then move on to the next target.

Anyway I don't play fantasy so feel free to tell me where to go.

Better luck next time..... or continue to lose and pick up the free meals, either works for me.

No stomp! Oh no... at least I got away with it at the time and know how awesome it is in general.
Thanks for all the pointers guys.

@Johnny I had Amber the spellsinger and a standard bearer in the unit Apophas violated me in. Does that count? Either way that didn't end well for me :S

Free meal cheered me up- wonder how many I can get as the loser?

Great report, well written and it gave me a laugh in places. This was particularly hysterical:

TheJoeyberry wrote:I failed to rally my glade riders and they fled 12 inches and I lost all respect for them.

It's nice to see i'm not the only one personifying and reprimanding my little soldiers. I fell out with 20 genestealers once, that was an awkward train ride home. Well it would have been but i forgot to pick up my bag at the platform and it was stolen. The moral of the story: Life's short, don't hold grudges. RIP my chitinous little gribblies.

But i digress; i don't have any useful pointers to give you since i don't play Fantasy but it looks like you did very well to my untrained eye. Shame about the lose but learn from it for next time and destroy your next opponent! It sounds like your treekin are brutal, maybe try keeping the dryads close to them so you can keep the ball rolling when the big guys eventually die. The archers sound like the core of your force, it might be worth bulking them up. The horsemen didn't have much luck, is it possible for you to have them come in from another table edge, skirmishers or ambushers or something? That would really throw your opponent off and make him decide between dividing his attacks to combat the imminent threat of the horsemen or to ignore them and probably take some heavy damage on his flank. He would probably choose to split his attacks which gives the core of your army some extra time and less wounds to save.
That's just my two cents, i don't play fantasy so i'm not sure what is and what isn't possible.

Its nice to see more girls giving the hobby a go, but I've never been offered lunch after a game .... I know what this is about - boobs, is there nothing they can't do?

Still it seems like a nice rule, 'let the lady win or buy her lunch!'



Hrm..... worth hiring a wig?

I too am debating a wig. But the beard may thwart that plan.

And regarding reprimanding your units?

Friend's Celestians for his SoB that I put effort in to get finished before a tournament we went to....

Managed to flee off the table in Turn 1 in all 5 games.

I was not impressed.

Tortured-Robot wrote:Hrm..... worth hiring a wig?

Definitely worth hiring a wig. I wonder if i can get enough cash together for silicon implants, free lunch every day would pay them off in no time. As long as they aren't French!

Read the entire blog this morning while work seemed to have come to a complete standstill and thought I am not a huge fan of fantasy, it is great to see a lass playing and you enjoying yourself. I find that you ladies tend to be far neater painters than us blokes, my girlfriend proved that after her first minature was a hundred times neater than my first!!

Shame about the loss but practice makes perfect Keep up the great work!

What lovely messages to come back from work to
As for the wig- there's no need. It's all about the fluttering eyes that work the "free lunch" magic.
I still have lots of painting to do but I've kept myself fairly busy and motivated with these videos and battles. I think my next one will be dwarves.
Next week I'll be a bit quieter as it's my birthday and I'm popping to London for a few days. Don't forget about me!

Well happy blooming Bday ms!

Flutter eyes got it


Frank will never know what hit him.

Happy almost kinda birthday Joey!

It's on the 16th. I leave on Monday back thursday. Might check out the London GW and harass the staff there
Video should be done by tomorrow late I would imagine :S

Loving the Documentry name.
how much you 'bloomed' in the last few weeks already.
Your going to around a long time. I need to learn how to get free dinners.
Peace x

Tell you what- buy me dinner and I'll teach you my secret

TheJoeyberry wrote:Tell you what- buy me dinner and I'll teach you my secret

<Claps> Like a pro!

TheJoeyberry wrote:It's on the 16th. I leave on Monday back thursday. Might check out the London GW and harass the staff there
Video should be done by tomorrow late I would imagine :S

Snrk.

My own day of birth ain't until the 27th of this month. Enjoy London. Oxford Street GW ain't bad but it is tiny. Only one smaller that I know of is Meadowhall in Sheffield, which is basically a closet.

And with regards to buying you lunch....

HAH. I'd require a game first. Mind you, Lizardmen. I'd be buying lunch by default. As way of apology for a new player encountering a Slann so soon.

Then, should we meet- I will indeed battle you- and try not cry when I lose epically.
I'm going to bring my wood elf army with me. I think they should see London. I'll try and get painting done while I'm away.

Haha. Yes, now you are hooked. Unfortunately I'm sort of the opposite direction from London.

Me too, I'm quite far West but I have family there.
I know I'm hooked and defensive of my little guys. They do try there hardest and have great potential. Unfortunately I'm not knowledgeable enough to guide them into victory. But I shall be!! Oh I shall be!


Automatically Appended Next Post:



Here is the new link- it'll be working in about 20 minutes.

It's the extended version of my written report. I couldn't keep it short unfortunately too much information to relay- hope you don't mind

There's been no replies - has my 18 minute video put you off
I'm off tomorrow to London for a few days but I think I'm going to pick up some more treekin for my birthday and demand a rematch

More treekin? Are you mad? Don't you remember the time it took for your first three? Sucker for punishment!

Really interesting video battle report - its always nice to see your wonderus face in action but, I think I prefer your written report with pics. I don't think it comes over as well in video.

Enjoy London Ms!

Than you tortured robot. Yeah I think a 20 minute video is over kill and I didn't expect too many people to stick it out. I had the most amount of subscribers since adding it oddly but I do feel like I'm being really monotonous at times.
I will enjoy London thanks for the feed back