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Granted. You are miles from the nearest tech, and no one speaks your language.

I wish i had just gone to bed earlier.

Granted, you were still unable to sleep.

I wish for a cinnamon bun.

Granted. It's served to you by fugitive disgraced lawyer Jimmy McGill in his job as a manager of Cinnabon and you're caught in a drive by shooting by gangsters looking to get even.

I wish my wife was finished cooking dinner.

Granted. It's for her boyfriend, not you.

I wish I lived closer to my work and wouldn't have to commute for so long.

Granted. You are the neighborhood paperboy.

I wish to have a nice quiet dinner this evening.

GRANTED! You have a very nice quiet dinner with Jeffrey Dahmer.

I wish Forgeworld had made enough Titanicus weapons to keep up with demand...

Granted. The demand was determined back in '98, and they're sold out long ago.

I wish it would stop raining long enough for me to mow the lawn.

Granted, but now you lawn bleeds red blood when cut

I wish to be in perfect physical health

Granted. You are, physically, the healthiest person ever. Your mental state, however, made you being sent into a padded cell.

I wish I was good at chemistry.

Granted. You are the best chemist ever. But everyone uses computer simulations now so you're enemployed.

I wish to find the best way to make waffles.

Granted. It involves human flesh and the discovery was..problematic

I wish for more hobby time.

Granted. You won millions in a lottery, wife divorced you and took the kids with her, leaving you alone and without need to work, so you can hobby all day long. Oh, and you'll die in 5 years from now. Just a tiny detail, haha.

I wish to paint miniatures like Duncan "Two thin coats" Rhodes.

Granted. But you soon discover how limited this technique can be and long for a good foungation and blended layers. But alas, you can only do two thin coats.

I wish for more miniatures.

 snurl wrote:
Granted. But you soon discover how limited this technique can be and long for a good foungation and blended layers. But alas, you can only do two thin coats.

I wish for more miniatures.

Granted, but they are all terrible recasts and toxic.

I wish for a better transportation device.

Granted. You switched your ox-pulled wagon for a steamboat. You can now cross rivers and seas, but on land, you have to walk everywhere.

I wish I always had a mug of tasty tea nearby, wherever and whenever I go.

Granted. Steamy hot and always just out of reach.

I wish to find the perfect miniature.

Granted. Your now a real tech-priest but your now on mars

I wish tactical marines were 11 points

Granted. They cost 11 points. And are completely naked, with no armor or weapons except for the mandatory loincloth.

I wish I had more Guardsmen.

Granted. You have thousands of unassembled guardsmen. But you simply cannot remember where you put the box full of right arms.

I wish to get the whole thing done today.

Granted. You murdered your neighbor and managed to hide his body.

I wish for a bottle of cold beer.

Granted. It's Steel Reserve in a bottle. mmmm

I wish I could write an April FAQ for my employer that they must adhere to.

Granted. An entire internet forum is created to discuss your changes and you received hundreds of emails from other employees, that could be sorted into several categories, listed from most frequent to least frequent.

1) How you dare to change things I liked and used
2) Why you nerfed thing that was bad even before
3) A death threat
4) I'm quitting because you screwed up
5) Why you didn't change a thing I consider being broken
6) I'm boycotting unless you change something
7) A thank-you email for doing a good job


I wish to be a train driver.


P.S. Mentioning any American beer would be considered enough to fulfill the point of this thread.

Granted. You drive the train at the amusement park.

I wish to see that happen.

Granted. You wait in line at Disneyland for 9 hours to see it.

I wish the nurses at the dentist would be like the nurses in porno movies.

 Lupus Mortem wrote:
Granted. You wait in line at Disneyland for 9 hours to see it.

I wish the nurses at the dentist would be like the nurses in porno movies.

Granted. They all have HIV.

I wish that people would stop bothering me with silly tech problems at work.

For me to grant you this wish, I need help first. My PC is not working.

I wish to be the 'Hero of the Soviet Union'.

Granted. But you fall out of favor and your statues are removed.

I wish to go to Disneyland again someday.

Granted. You wait another 9 hours to get in only to get run over by the amusement park train. The fact I was driving it is purely coincidental.

I wish to be a colonist on the moon.

Granted. Enjoy the cosmic rays and solar flares.

I wish I could erase house rules for miniatures games from existence.

 Lupus Mortem wrote:
Granted. Enjoy the cosmic rays and solar flares.

I wish I could erase house rules for miniatures games from existence.

Granted.

All miniatures games past, present and future use the core rules of 40K 6th edition.