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Granted, you are barred from driving on the better roads.

I wish for more PS4 space.

Granted. You were gifted second PS4 console.

I wish I had some of the NASA's supercomputers to play Minecraft on.

Granted. Its still pixelated.

I wish to remain in bed all day.

Granted. You are in a coma.

I wish to own a private jet.

Granted. You are now sitting in a lavish leather seat in your private jet and enjoy an exquisite cocktail over the middle of the Atlantic in 30000 feet flight height... and then you hear the engines stutter as you forgot to pay for a full gas tank.

I wish for a Business Class upgrade on my next flight (but not in Hawkys private jet).

Granted. You fly in the Busines Class inside a repurposed WW2 bomber.

I wish I was promoted.

Wow this is still going!

Your now promoted to the highers level of gong farming. At Umbrella corps latest and most adnaced lab.

The weaoonozed nuclear ebola pit clearing department.

I wish it stopped raining.

Granted. It switches over to hail.

I wish hail was made of gold.

Granted. But a. it hurts way more and b. it becomes worthless since it is now available in abundance.

I wish public transportation would be more on time and comfortable...

Granted. You moved into Somalia. Public transportation goes on time, exactly twice a week and it's more comfortable than walking through the desert.

I wish to be an army officer.

Granted. You're in charge of fort zero in Antarctica.

I wish to fire a .50 calibre machine gun again.

Granted! But you're naked and on a glacial firing range at Fort Zero in Antarctica.

I wish the double fudge brownies my mother-in-law made weren't so fething dry.

Granted. You spill them into the pool.

I wish for a fun time tonight.

Granted. You are being chased by an angry stray dog.

I wish to be a police officer.

Granted. You guard the doughnut shop.

I wish to go diving.

Granted! Unfortunately it's dumpster diving and you get into a nasty scuffle with a family of rabid, territorial raccoons...your new nickname is 'Cujo Snurl'.

I wish the cosmic justice of karma would pay this administration a long overdue visit.

Granted. The press is nice to them for a few weeks.

I wish to know what really happened.

You can't sleep from now and the thought haunts you for the rest of your life.

I wish to know what was the thought, but without details.

Granted. You know what happened, and shudder at the thought.

I wish for a fast remodelling of the kitchen at my favorite bar.

Granted.

Shoddy construction to accommodate a faster pace resulted in a fire which burned it to the ground.

I wish for infinite wishes.

Granted. You read this thread over and over again.

I wish for decadence.

Wish cannot be granted. You already live in the US.

I wish my neighbor's drilling-machine broke.

Granted. He borrows yours and breaks it too.

I wish for some contrast paint.

Granted. But you only receive cheap, black primer... So good luck with that.

I wish for some rain.

Granted, Noah.

I wish to mow my lawn before it rains again.

Granted. The firemen complimented your nicely mowed lawn after your house burned down.

I wish to be one of those firemen.

Granted! While you were oohing and ahhing over Snurl's well manicured Kentucky Bluegrass, you step right onto the lovely, impressive...and still steaming..."gift" left by Snurl's Great Dane. Your fire truck mates turn the hoses on you and demand you walk home.

I wish the Rolling Stones had one more show in Chicago this week.

Granted. Still sold out.

I wish that my annoying colleague won't show up next week.

Granted. He returns the week after as your new supervisor.

I wish to finish painting a bunch of figures tonight.

Granted. But you went colorblind halfway through.

I wish for a pair of indestructible pants