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I have a DVD of 300 here.

Now that is what I want to see! Alright, hippie, I'll see a movie with you. Just no funny business or else.

Is there a player anywhere in here?

I have one, though I suggest you watch this new fancy Godzilla movie instead. I heard the titular character is really handsome.

Also, was there someone in here asking for love? I have lots of love available.

Hey look! It's that dinosaur from Land Before Time! Where's Bigfoot? Did he die? You bet your sorry ass he did! Now go back to the Crustacean era before I shove my Quaternary boot right up your ass and make you into gasoline myself!

Where would the television be?

Television rots the mind, sister. Why not do something more mentally stimulating like strangling a man with his own intestines or firing a rocket at your feet as a means to get around? It's what I do and look at me! I'm a mentally sound, god fearing and handsome American and I don't watch Television at all!

 TheCustomLime wrote:
Television rots the mind, sister. Why not do something more mentally stimulating like strangling a man with his own intestines or firing a rocket at your feet as a means to get around? It's what I do and look at me! I'm a mentally sound, god fearing and handsome American and I don't watch Television at all!

Mentally sound and handsome?
And you fear a god? Haha!

You bet I do! And you should do or he'll cut your bald ass down!

 TheCustomLime wrote:
You bet I do! And you should do or he'll cut your bald ass down!

I regulary troll gods, and I'm still as bald as the day I was born!

Oh, he's not like Corn, Stanesh, Teench or Nargle. He made all of those gods, you and everything else in existence. Dark Matter? He made that. Dark energy? He made that too!

 TheCustomLime wrote:
Oh, he's not like Corn, Stanesh, Teench or Nargle. He made all of those gods, you and everything else in existence. Dark Matter? He made that. Dark energy? He made that too!

Tell me, where can I find this silly old sod?

He doesn't exist in this reality. He is in some sort of super reality where everything is like our reality but 10x more conservative. The only way to get to him is by being a good man and dying.

 TheCustomLime wrote:
He doesn't exist in this reality. He is in some sort of super reality where everything is like our reality but 10x more conservative. The only way to get to him is by being a good man and dying.

Time for you to meet your god, then.

 TheCustomLime wrote:
Television rots the mind, sister. Why not do something more mentally stimulating like strangling a man with his own intestines or firing a rocket at your feet as a means to get around? It's what I do and look at me! I'm a mentally sound, god fearing and handsome American and I don't watch Television at all!

Well if we don't have a television, then we couldn't watch a movie together.

I have a television.

Hang on a minute there, Baldy. I will not have my date stolen from me! Even if it means having to watch television. Fine, I'll just go buy one or something. Or just take the spy's now that he's dead.

 TheCustomLime wrote:
Hang on a minute there, Baldy. I will not have my date stolen from me! Even if it means having to watch television. Fine, I'll just go buy one or something. Or just take the spy's now that he's dead.

You do realise that, while you were asleep, I put a bomb inside of you that detonates once it gets close to a television?

Hmm. Well, in that case, there is only one man who can save my date. Medic!

 TheCustomLime wrote:
Hmm. Well, in that case, there is only one man who can save my date. Medic!

He's got the same device, but it gets triggered when approaching Americans.

I do love these gadgets Black Library gives us!

Your evil, Baldy! Evil! Fine, what do you want? I'll give all of the money in my back pocket to disable this bomb.

I heard primarches were not designed for reproduction. So that makes bedding them out of the question.

TheCustomLime wrote:Your evil, Baldy! Evil! Fine, what do you want? I'll give all of the money in my back pocket to disable this bomb.

Your soul and eternal service, obviously.

sing your life wrote:I heard primarches were not designed for reproduction. So that makes bedding them out of the question.

You heard wrong. We're just not that interested in it, 's all

You strike a hard bargain, Alparius. Fine, I'll do whatever stupid crap you want me to do. Now can you disable this bomb or something?

 TheCustomLime wrote:
You strike a hard bargain, Alparius. Fine, I'll do whatever stupid crap you want me to do. Now can you disable this bomb or something?

After you sign this contract confirming it.

Oh, of course! There is always a contract with these things. *Searches jacket for pen but only produces a knife* Uhh... I don't have a pen on me.

Don't sign the contract! He'll just use it to make you do everything he wants.

What about our date, Macho? You may be a hippie but if there is something I will not do is go back on my word.

 TheCustomLime wrote:
What about our date, Macho? You may be a hippie but if there is something I will not do is go back on my word.

Here, take this pen. It's Primarch-sized, but eh.