Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

in one of the cain books, there is a caption by Inquisitor Vail, that reads something to the effect of:

Due to the innumerable times that Cain has been missing and declared dead, only to return to the line a few days later, the Adeptus Munitorium has passed a decree that states that Cain is to be kept on the active rosters despite any intelligence that suggests otherwise. This means that he is the only person ever to be listed as both battle ready and buried with full military honors in the history of the Imperium

Not fluff as such but an excerpt from Helion Rain, the audiobook.

"...birds wheeled in an empty sky, punctuated only by the distant heat trails of drop pods..."

So other than the birds and the drop pods the sky is empty?

tarvos wrote:in one of the cain books, there is a caption by Inquisitor Vail, that reads something to the effect of:

Due to the innumerable times that Cain has been missing and declared dead, only to return to the line a few days later, the Adeptus Munitorium has passed a decree that states that Cain is to be kept on the active rosters despite any intelligence that suggests otherwise. This means that he is the only person ever to be listed as both battle ready and buried with full military honors in the history of the Imperium

so a battle-ready coffin?

shrike wrote:

tarvos wrote:in one of the cain books, there is a caption by Inquisitor Vail, that reads something to the effect of:

Due to the innumerable times that Cain has been missing and declared dead, only to return to the line a few days later, the Adeptus Munitorium has passed a decree that states that Cain is to be kept on the active rosters despite any intelligence that suggests otherwise. This means that he is the only person ever to be listed as both battle ready and buried with full military honors in the history of the Imperium

so a battle-ready coffin?

Maybe Cain's really a necron :O

shrike wrote:

tarvos wrote:in one of the cain books, there is a caption by Inquisitor Vail, that reads something to the effect of:

Due to the innumerable times that Cain has been missing and declared dead, only to return to the line a few days later, the Adeptus Munitorium has passed a decree that states that Cain is to be kept on the active rosters despite any intelligence that suggests otherwise. This means that he is the only person ever to be listed as both battle ready and buried with full military honors in the history of the Imperium

so a battle-ready coffin?

or a dreadnaught? pffffft


The novel "Fifteen Hours" any time Davir speaks, its pretty funny.

Gaunts ghosts, Traitor General: The archenemy soldiers are looking for the group in a farm silo, the last one gets felled by Beltayn who sneaks up behind the guy and says

"Something awry sir?" and pulls da trigger

same book: in one scene the commanding CSM says that he's "not a dangerous man by nature" his troops snigger and then he goes back and says "okay I am, I really am."

In "Soul Hunter," the Navigatrix Eurydice is standing on a planetoid when the starship she's serving on gets blown out of the sky by Night Lords:

"....Syne was always spending massive sums of Imperial crowns on upgrading his precious fat matron of a ship, and wasn't that just so very hilarious in light of recent events. Good job, Captain Syne. All those guns certainly helped when it really counted."

I LOL'ed.

Later there's a scene where Talos throws Warmaster Horus's status as "General Failure" back in his face. Not exactly laugh-out-loud, but very, very satisfying.

Lysander being able to fight off all those Chaos marines without a weapon its a lie.

Eldrad wrote:Lysander being able to fight off all those Chaos marines without a weapon its a lie.

He had weapons. He used his marines as meatshields, while using one's arm as a club.

For sure anything from Commissar Cain&co.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Oh, and anything about Mephiston.

The part in Sabbat Martyr right after the Beati heals Kolea and Mkvenner...

Kolea comes back to the shower block and is just about to go in when Cuu comes out and starts makin fun of him because he still thinks Kolea's brain dead. Kolea says something like "Making fun of a crippled veteran, where's your sense of honor?" To which Cuu becomes confused and Kolea just tells him to run before he "Breaks his rodent neck."

Cuu runs....

The part in Straight Silver where Criid is trying to get Cuu to follow her orders and basically breaks his nose in the process. Rawne tells Feygor to go see what all the commotion is about and when Feygor comes in he says "Is he supposed to be bleeding?" To which Tona replies "Yes" and Feygor just says "Well keep it down" and leaves..........

Same book where Larkin and Cuu are fighting and Cuu gets a butt plate to the balls by Sehra Muril, she says "Next time I'll use the other end." and the others throw him out into the rain for being drunk.

pretty much any time in those books where Cuu gets hurt, that fether was a dirty thug........ XD

poontangler wrote:I can not quote it verbatim. but there was an anecdote in the Ork Codex.

It was about the Ork warboss who ordered his waaaagh! to do a warp jump. Well when they did the warp sent them through time, back to the point just before they departed. The War Boss then tracked his doppleganger down and killed him because he wanted a second gun just like the one he had. This resulted in the warboss single handedly ending his own waaaagh!


I was also amused by the Ork warboss who staged a waaagh into the eye of terror. He ended up fighting a greater deamon(Or a prince) in a bloody and ruthless battle, which ended with the warboss ripping the demon's nuts off.(The Orks would then spend an eternity of fighting, dying and being resurrected to do the cycle once more.)

Now that I think of it the Ork fluff is not only very funny. It is actually quite awesome.

Got there before me lol, the first is pure comedy but you really wouldnt put it past an ork

Hmmm
Something funny?
I like some of the ironic statements in the HH book.

Also 100 Baneblades from SS.

Russ catching the Kraken that "was large enough to warp its tentecles around the world",then throwing it back claiming it was just a tiddler.

Henners91 wrote:Any rumours about the BA codex.

That later turned out to be true.

Anyone remember how absurd "Flying Land Raider" used to sound?

Or assaulting after deep-striking?

GW be trolls.

Sure my response is way late but totally agree. I remember reading those rumors I just laughed. I thought oh cmon someone is just making gak up now. But then I was shocked to actually see that in the BA codex WTF were they thinking

KingCracker wrote:

Henners91 wrote:Any rumours about the BA codex.

That later turned out to be true.

Anyone remember how absurd "Flying Land Raider" used to sound?

Or assaulting after deep-striking?

GW be trolls.

Sure my response is way late but totally agree. I remember reading those rumors I just laughed. I thought oh cmon someone is just making gak up now. But then I was shocked to actually see that in the BA codex WTF were they thinking

Don't y'know GW cant say no to their codex authors "you want a flying tank SURE!!!"

Oh I figured that out by now, but back then I kept thinking no way, that just sounded FAR to ridiculous but it wasnt

KingCracker wrote:Oh I figured that out by now, but back then I kept thinking no way, that just sounded FAR to ridiculous but it wasnt

haha there is so much truth to that, I'm waiting for drop pods that can move after deployment

Ho-hum, reading this whole thread, there are actually two topics:

1. Actually funny things in the 40k universe, most of them intended, some unintended - this includes the comic relief that is orks and the many allegations by GW to real-world literature, which some find funny, others merely interesting.

2. Fluff that we must laugh at because it is so absurd or over the top, we'd actually rather cry.

I really like the first category, but the second always leaves me thinking "stop whining and start enjoying the bits that - to your taste - are not absurd or OTT." I don't like that flying tank business, or in general the tendency for newer codices to become more and more like japanese comics, but it still did not stop me enjoying 40K, so why bother whining?

I mean yeah, why do I bother whining about the whining...oh well.

Wardragoon wrote:waiting for drop pods that can move after deployment

Dreadclaws?

"A new fashion sweeps through commorragh, and soon every member of the noble houses has paid to have himself horribly disfigured...the trend is predictably short lived"-Dark Eldar codex

It may not qualify as fluff but this morning I got a chuckle out of this;

http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/catalog/productDetail.jsp?prodId=prod900149a

"it's a flying red fist of death that's going to punch their army until it begs for mercy"

"Well you can just blast chunks out of their troops and tanks until there's nothing left to blow up!"


Sounds like a 8 year old fan boy wrote it.

AgeOfEgos wrote:It may not qualify as fluff but this morning I got a chuckle out of this;

http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/catalog/productDetail.jsp?prodId=prod900149a

"it's a flying red fist of death that's going to punch their army until it begs for mercy"

"Well you can just blast chunks out of their troops and tanks until there's nothing left to blow up!"


Sounds like a 8 year old fan boy wrote it.

random note ABOUT TIME

In the tyranid codex, it mentions a world that gets infested by both daemons and tyranids. The space marines sent in to deal with the situation "wisely opt for exterminatus" and move on.

I love the part of the Ork codex where one Warboss, forget his name, exits the warp in an alternate dimension and kills his doppleganger so he can have two of his favorite shoota.

Cryonicleech wrote:I love the part of the Ork codex where one Warboss, forget his name, exits the warp in an alternate dimension and kills his doppleganger so he can have two of his favorite shoota.

its not an alternate dimension, he goes back in time, he ended his own waagh

Cryonicleech wrote:I love the part of the Ork codex where one Warboss, forget his name, exits the warp in an alternate dimension and kills his doppleganger so he can have two of his favorite shoota.

Honestly, whats more Orky then that?

KingCracker wrote:

Cryonicleech wrote:I love the part of the Ork codex where one Warboss, forget his name, exits the warp in an alternate dimension and kills his doppleganger so he can have two of his favorite shoota.

Honestly, whats more Orky then that?

Wazdakka turning himself into a missile and taking out a warlord titan?

Juvieus Kaine wrote:

KingCracker wrote:

Cryonicleech wrote:I love the part of the Ork codex where one Warboss, forget his name, exits the warp in an alternate dimension and kills his doppleganger so he can have two of his favorite shoota.

Honestly, whats more Orky then that?

Wazdakka turning himself into a missile and taking out a warlord titan?

Or an ork warboss goes back in time, and starts a waagh! with his own waagh!.

shrike wrote:

Juvieus Kaine wrote:

KingCracker wrote:

Cryonicleech wrote:I love the part of the Ork codex where one Warboss, forget his name, exits the warp in an alternate dimension and kills his doppleganger so he can have two of his favorite shoota.

Honestly, whats more Orky then that?

Wazdakka turning himself into a missile and taking out a warlord titan?

Or an ork warboss goes back in time, and starts a waagh! with his own waagh!.

Now that Ive thought about it, Badrukk taking out a Void Whale is more Orky, AND you cant top that.

The Blood Angel Codex. Some of the best comedic writing in 40K by far. And Canis Wolfborn - funniest character in existence. Dumb name. Dumb mount. Dumbest weapons ever for riding said mount.


Also Firewarrior, the book, has some wonderfully stupid moments:

1. Kais uses a single Spider Mine to take out a Raptors Chapter Captain and his Command Squad in a single attack.
2. Kais - this is a single Firewarrior guys - takes on a Combat Squad of Raptors Marines + a Raptors Librarian by himself.

The worst part of this combat is when there is one Raptor firing at him, and Kais runs under the legs of another Marine, but the first Marine keeps shooting and kills the other Marine with friendly fire.

"Thar she blows!"