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[Wakes up and blinks slowly]

... [Goes for a shower, trailing bandage and glitter]

*tosses the Vortex grenade at BC*
HOT POTATO!

*Reflexively whirls around and shoots the vortex grenade in the air*

That... was not a good idea, was it?

*Runs like hell*

*vortex grenade falls to the ground and does nothing*
I removed the detonation mechanism. You're fine.
*picks it up and goes back to bouncing it off the wall*

*Twitces and looks ill* Oh damnit, i hate having the flue....... Hopefully i dont contaminate anyone else

[Wanders out of shower room looking more awake and less gory]

[Gets out box of Christmas decorations and starts setting more up]

*looks at Trondheim*
What exactly are you? I've seen a commissar have relations with a demon and I've seen a Kroot have dinner with a Guardsman, but I've never seen something as weird as a talking bird.

You know, we're not as awful as you'd think, you just need to get to know us.

*smiles as a Kroot comes from the guardsmen outpost wearing flak armor and a helmet*

Really? That's odd. Seems you've missed a lot of the weird that goes around here.

*Points towards the holes Farsight's repeated mishaps made in the ceiling*

 War Kitten wrote:
*looks at Trondheim*
What exactly are you? I've seen a commissar have relations with a demon and I've seen a Kroot have dinner with a Guardsman, but I've never seen something as weird as a talking bird.

I am many things, but as far What the name of my race is the Shoebill.

You have not seen me have relationships with anyone! We do that indoors!

[Sudden look of panic] [Searches noosphere] ...Damnit Perron! You said that those videos were private access!

In my defense, I'm a pervert, not an IT specialist.

Well. Someone posted them on EmperorBook. We all saw them.
*shrugs*
*to 2bj1*
Oh no, I quite like kroot. You're one of the more polite xeno races, you don't kill us on principle. Just if you're paid to

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
You have not seen me have relationships with anyone! We do that indoors!

[Sudden look of panic] [Searches noosphere] ...Damnit Perron! You said that those videos were private access!

In my defense, I'm a pervert, not an IT specialist.

Sorry i did not mean to make them public, but it just happened

*Walks in. Naomi leaves*

MURRAY: Meow! (I'm back!)

And also I somehow have a video of you and Macha.

...Perron! How idiotic do you have to be to miss the ENORMOUS RED BUTTON that says "set video to private"?

Meow? (I don't know, Verviedi...)

*can be seen looking at ZK's report online*
Oh my God Emperor, THAT'S what I did.....

Would you mind sharing? Before someone tries showing me these pictures of Macha and the commisar, please?

You don't want to know. Trust me.....

They're where? [Goes pale] H-how many people have seen them?

...You're trending on the side bar. There are already tribute pages.

[Starts panicking and pulls out bolt pistol] [Starts contemplating barrel from close up]

Woah now. [Starts trying to lower gun with other arm] It's not like this is the worst thing you've ever done!

*TV flickers to life*

Is that a challenge, Jack?

I'd rather not see any more of the commisar's, erm, after hour specials.

*to WK*

Oh come on, what is it? Late library books? Tripped an elderly lady? I've don't more things than I'm proud of, so I think I can handle what a single guardsman did to make an oppressive leadership have to mind wipe him.

No. It is far far worse......

OOC: Still thinking of something give me a bit...

[Fires bolt pistol and knocks off own hat]

Calm down! [Continues trying to take gun from himself]

I will not! My life is over as soon as someone in HQ sees those videos.

Your face isn't even in them!

It doesn't need to be! They'll recognise the rest of me!

Why the hell does HQ know what you look like from the waist down?

... ... Photocopier incident.

OOC: Ah, I figured as much.

IC: *snorts* Fine, keep your mysteries. I'll be over here when you're ready to share.

Commissar randomly lands in the room.
Oh man that hurt, I was being eaten by a carnifax, then killed, now I land in this room?

Is this the golden domain? Or did I just get my soul eaten by chaos?

The inquisition hired me to find a man on your world. Now, are you going to help me...or are we going to do this the hard way?

*Portal opens I walk in*

Jesus... where the feth am I now? *Looks around in disgust*

Feeeeeettthhh....

*perks up*

Will there be payment for finding this person? I could be convinced to help.

*sees the new commisar and groans*

Please tell me you're not another Imperial lackey? I'm not very hungry at the moment, and frankly I don't want to have to deal with another commisar trying to shoot my head off.

Xeno!

Urghhh, II just got killed, probably transition via warp, just find me aasprin, vodka, or some boiling hot caffine strong as a double sky hammer.

Or all 3.