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*nods and pushes empty bowl away, looking full*

Ah, that was good. And yes, you cook some of your foods weird. Some things are better raw. Anyway, I wouldn't have her start with Dark Eldar. Maybe something less killy, like Tau meat. That isn't as deadly to ingest.

*Succubus walks out of the Guard Barracks and sees 2BJ1 eating the DE parts*
*Her eyes narrow and she cuts the head off a nearby Kroot before disappearing again*
*I turn to 2BJ1*
Told you so.

*glares at blackjack*

Don't even think about it.

[Looks at WK] Keep that thing under control.

*looks back at BC*
You want to be the one who tells a Dark Eldar Succubus to not kill something? Be my guest, I don't feel like losing limbs, And even if I was reasonably confident I could dodge getting a limb hacked off she still has a fail safe built into my spine, I'm not going to go test her and have my head blown off. I may be many things, but suicidal isn't one of them commissar.

Hm. [Shrugs] If she kills or incapacitates any of the guardsmen or mercenaries we're currently hiring for the PDF, I'll just have you shot as an example anyway.
But to be fair, as it's purely guardsmen in the firing squad, you'd stand a moderate chance of surviving.

[Looks unusually serious] I wouldn't test the theory.

You should see if Verviedi can fix that fail safe for you when he's recovered. It would be amusing to see her try and use it after, to say the least.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
Hm. [Shrugs] If she kills or incapacitates any of the guardsmen or mercenaries we're currently hiring for the PDF, I'll just have you shot as an example anyway.
But to be fair, as it's purely guardsmen in the firing squad, you'd stand a moderate chance of surviving.

[Looks unusually serious] I wouldn't test the theory.

You should see if Verviedi can fix that fail safe for you when he's recovered. It would be amusing to see her try and use it after, to say the least.

So basically either I get my head blown off trying to stop her or I get shot as an example to the rest of the PDF? What a choice. I think I'd rather strap several steaks to myself and run through a flesh-hound pen. Maybe I will ask him about removing it.... is there any way I can NOT get shot?

[Leans back on carpet] If you don't like being shot at, maybe you should have picked a safer career. Like say, a chef. Or a milkmaid.
I hear the Mail Inquisition is hiring. Though that may have been the Male Inquisition... [Scratches chin]

[Kimmy raises hand] ...Or this one could disconnect the device. Apparently Veck has been teaching her human biology.

You act like joining the Guard was a choice for me. It was either that or spend most of my life dealing with politics on Elysia.
*shudders*
If the little one wants to take a look at it she can go ahead, not like she can make things any worse.
*sits down with his back to Kimmy*

I was lined up to be a desk clerk somewhere quiet. [Looks at ceiling contemplatively] Funny how things work out.

[Kimmy concentrates, and puts hands on WK's head, causing a relaxing sensation] [With a quiet popping sound, the small device appears in mid-air beside WK's face, free of any gore or blood, and floats over to BC's lap]

Well, will you look at- Why is it flashing?

*tackles BC and Kimmy to the side as the small device detonates and sends cards flying*
*gets up*
Everyone alright?

[Pats self down] I seem to have all of my vital parts, so I'm going to say yes...
[Kimmy is giggling] Does she... Even understand what she nearly did? [Rubs neck] You were very nearly an only child, there.

This is the sort of thing that makes me feel kids shouldn't be in the guard just yet...

Wait... you're still alive?

*Awoken by explosion*
Boltgun! The Sister Superior must have found they were go-
*Looks around*
Huh. Must have switched to a different dream. That means more fun!
*Begins walking around, looking for a load of bread*

... [Sits up and follows Verviedi to make sure he doesn't hurt himself]

*Looks at BC and cocks head to the side*
Interesting. A subconcious projection manifesting as a trusted friend. Perhaps something to add an element of comfort to this dream?
*Begins buttering some slices of bread*

[Kimmy starts levitating the bread in slow circles around Verviedi] ... [Folds arms and taps foot at her]

*Watches the bread orbit blankly*
*Pinches self hard*
...Feth. How much did you hear?

[Shrugs] The important part is whether you still want breakfast or not. [Catches bread one handed]

Breakfast? At midnight?
Sure, best way to start a day.
*Begins setting out plates and offers BC some buttered bread and jelly*

*looks down at feet and scuffs one foot against the ground*

I didn't mean to actually ki-... I don't eat Tau. I respect what they have done for Kroot, and I stay true to my word. Just a suggestion, nothing personal.

I would offer you flesh of a clone of me, but I'm worried what a Kroot with a direct link to the Machine-God would be capable of.

Thanks for the offer, but I'm not terribly interested in accidentally spawning another Archangel, or anything similar. We have enough daemons around here as is.

*turns to WK*

Now, if you'd have let me kill the wych in the first place my Kroot wouldn't have died. Why am I having poor luck with the Eldar right now? I didn't even do anything to make them hate me, I just try to end an argument and do something necessary to survival.

*shakes head*

I'll never understand those pointy ears.

[Nibbles bread happily] [Notices several guardsmen standing around outside barracks looking uneasy]

...? She turfed you out? [Facepalms] Go back in there and explain that you were there first. [Guards shake heads and refuse] Oh for... [Sighs] Fine, I'll ask for you.

[Steps into barracks doorway and winces] Roll for Diplomacy... Huh, someone's been redecorating.
[Wanders in]

[Loud crashing after a few minutes and sound of breaking furniture] [Comes racing out with a black eye and split lip] [Throws self flat as a chair is hurled past, out of door]
...I think we may just build a new barracks. We have the budget.

Morning

Card game fights start?
Oh, the guard barracks, the guard are sleeping outside?
What monster did you let lose now?

*stands watching barracks with ale, combing beard*

...Did you piss her off?
*Golden light begins fading to silver*

I was eating a meal and she decided to kill one of my Kroot. Not sure what the Gue'la did thoigh.

Hey, I just supplied the plate, I never told you to eat it.

That was your choice to eat it and angercthe which

*double checks bolt pistol and combat blade*
Yep, loaded, live, full auto....

[Gets up from floor]

I just asked her to let the guys back in, it is their home after all.
She tried to shiv me, and when that didn't work, beat me with the regimental standard.

[Touches swelling black eye] This isn't my kind of rough play.

*walks up closer asnsd has to use mental sheild to avoid a volley of surikans*

OK, still angry....