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*hesitates at WK's words and grabs his shoulder before he can get away*

What was that, soldier?

*twists out of 2BJ1's grip*
I said I think I left my oven on, now stop grabbing me, I need to turn it off before my *coughs* cookies burn.
*darts away before I can be grabbed again*

I'm not incompetent. [Looks hurt] I had a large part of my memory and commissar training wiped to allow me to function as a regular person. Punishments and how to hurt people were both a part of the wipe.

[Searches up explanatory video] Is that... Macha? I didn't know she did informative films for the imperial guard.
[Squints] ... ... Oh, so that's what it's called. [Looks at Daemonette] Who knew.

That doesn't strike me as a punishment, and she seems to be enjoying it too.

How about you perform the flogging while I hook him up to something that blocks any and all sensation of pleasure for a duration of time? Would that work?

*ducks into the barracks*
*in the safety of the empty barracks*
Phew, that was close. They almost caught me and my true colors!

True... Colors?
You do realize that you're being livestreamed right now. I can hear everything you're saying.

*facepalms*
Oh for the love of all that is unholy, I always forget about that!
*shakes his head*

*walks into the barracks*

Now, I think we should have a chat, don't you? What are you up to, invoking Khorne and speaking of 'true colors'?

*A smooth steel wall begins to deploy itself, cutting off the exit to the barracks*
I would advise answering that question.
*Eyes flash silver*
Yes, she does instructional films for a lot of things. Even cameoed in Servitors Gone Wild, if you look a the upper left hand corner while the servitor is operating the rivet gun.

Eh, I'll just add "cowardice" to the list if you don't come back out here and explain yourself. [Taps foot]

I'm no longer sure about the flogging, it looks too messy.

I have no idea what you're talking about. You must be hearing things.
*leaps out the window and disappears*

[Looks tired] Concentrating on actually doing my job is very wearing. I think I'll take a break. [Curls up on sofa]

*summons a lashing made of warp energy and whips it at WK*

You're not going anywhere, gue'la.

*the lashing starts wrapping itself around WK. He starts dragging him back.*

*eyes glow red*
*the lash fizzles and snaps away*
*finishes jumping out the window and is gone*

Feth, he isn't even leaving a heat signature behind him. What type of warp sorcery is this?

*can be seen running away in the distance*

Ok, sounds about normal

*starts bringing 45,000 ton tea maker online*

Hm. [Sits up] Maybe we should really be more careful about who we let run around in here.
As a group we are entirely too nice, general distrust and persecution of Imperials aside.

[Stretches and starts making scrambled eggs and toast for everyone]
See, if I do this right, you'll understand why it's easy to coerce me with breakfast. [Whisks in cream and butter]

It's a shame, it's not often I find a guardsman that isn't sickened to the core by my, er, culture. Of course the recruits always have such a nice reaction to it the first time they watch...

[Considers] I shouldn't really judge considering how poorly respected the dead are in our culture. Sure if you're a general, they will retrieve you and bury you, somewhere with military honours. The rest of us...

Dead Guardsmen are used as trench reinforcements.
Anyway, what did you say about breakfast?

*looks up*

Dead guardsmen
You mean paperwork? We have to account for lost las weapons and kit.

Need them cleaned and ready for next one.

They paid a bonus for every 10 las guns returned in working order

*casually walks out of the field hospital*
Equipment's all set up, who wants to be cloned?

[Looks a little sad] I'm right here, you know. I mean I know the lasguns are worth more than we are, but it's not kind to be reminded.

Lasguns are worth about 200 Imperial. A Guardsman is worth 100,000 Imperial, according to my research.

[Looks confused] I think you've got backwards data there.

*walks up to BC*
This is going to sound super weird however I say it, so here it goes, I need some of your DNA so I can clone you in the unfortunate case of your death

[Looks mildly irritated] Why? You could just get Blackjack to cough out whichever bit he can't digest.

Not unless you want to come out of the tank looking like you've been chewed up by a Carnifex

You'll have to excuse my reticence. Last time someone took my DNA they used it to genetically match and pair me with another human being purely for breeding purposes.

What is it you need?