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[Looks embarrassed] That's what the Astra Militarum sends, I don't get to pick.

*tests fuel* urgh its gak. Barely burns, chemicals. 10% promethium at best.

*comes back bearing a few fuel cans, *
80% promethium, unleaded with additives.

*tank beeps happily at new fuel and engine roars at 3 times the power*
BC, *hands a map* there's a good fuel store. Tons and tons. I use it to fuel my tank. That's better

[Pats tank] It's like Christmas all over again.

*looks at the imperial guard specs book and kit requirements *

Oh, what.... That.... No wonder you die in droves. Half the gear is gak. What's not is in short supply. And your med kits are nigh useless vs sisterhood standards.

Lasguns seem worth more than one carrying it. And there not exactly expensive....

I'm off to bed, this book is stressing

*Marla sits near wk curius about letter*

*looks at lasgun and sighs*
No getting out of it I guess.
*opens the letter and begins reading*

...Wait. Since when are lasguns weak?
It's just a simple modif-
Wait, I'm a moron. Tech-heresy? Excuse for lowered expenses...
*Grabs WK's lasgun, strips it, and begins searching the focusing array for a tiny rectangular object*

*marla looks happy that he,s reading the creepy letter*

Anyway might not be too bad surely. *sounds hopeful*
And if its too creepy I have wine. *points to bottle by sofa * may help.

*starts reading the letter*
*goes pale as he continues reading it*
Oh no....

[Frowns] Are you distressed? I have these tablets I'm supposed to take when I'm anxious. [Offers tub to WK with "horse tranquillisers" scribbled out and "Commissar prescription" written neatly above in doctor handwriting]
You should probably only take one though.

*looks oddly at BC*
I'll pass thanks. It would take a lot more than that to make me forget this letter.
*shudders*

Take all of them!

Or none of them...

*hurls a tea mug at TS*
Stop it. I'm trying to comprehend what I just read.

Mere mortals cannot even see this is really a chatroom right now... Oh you meant the letter...

[Pockets the tub] Understandable. I forgot to take them yesterday, so I doubled up today. [One pupil discernibly bigger than the other] Can't say I feel more relaxed, but time seems to be passing differently.

What does the letter say?

*Is now taking some wire cutters to the inside of the lasgun*
*Rectangular object shoots out and hits Selym in the face*
Hmm... Try it now. I removed the inhibitor that limits the amount of a power a lasgun can use per shot. Basically, your gun now works on a 1-cell, 1-shot system. The more juice in the cell, the more powerful the shot.
...I would advise not hooking it up to anything larger than a multi-laser battery.
*Hands it back*
Oh, a letter?
...Benny, could I have some of those?

Hm. [Picks up Verviedi and then puts him down and eyeballs his height]

[Tosses tub over] Take two, tops. Your BMI is way lower than mine, and your resistance definitely is.

Thank you, could use something to help me sleep. You're hardly heavy yourself, actually. My BMI must be because of, well, not eating much. Or at all, unless I remember. I'm new to this whole "hunger" thing.
*Takes the two pills and almost passes out on the spot*
...I need something comfortable.

*a feral kroot walks over and shoves the entire tub into its mouth*

Uhh, I suppose I'm the one who should be taking care of that.

*Reaches hand into the feral Kroot's mouth and pulls out the now partially-melted tub*
Hmm... Lead lining? Should be fi-
*Looks down at acid-burned and heavily bleeding hand*
Emperor fething dammit.

*hands BC the letter*
See for yourself. It's disturbing to say the least. It's from my sister.
*sees Verviedi's hand*
Eesh, you might want to get that looked at friend

That should be alarming to you. And me.
[Whistles, and Kimmy runs up with first sud kit, and starts attending to Verviedi]

[Realises] Oh no, no no no... If I don't follow the instructions the therapist gave, I'll end up being given the jab again. [Shivers]

That does... Not sound pleasant in the slightest.
*Calmly places hand in front of Kimmy*
Those pills must be working. I feel very sleepy and non-panicky.

That's probably a good thing. Your hand looks like a Carnifex has been at it like it's a chew toy.

That's blood loss. [Holds Verviedi still ] We're going to sit on the floor now. [Allows Kimmy to work]

[Reads letter] ... Dude. Even I think that's messed up.

*takes the letter back from BC*
That's not exactly a vote of confidence coming from you.
*sighs*
Why did she have to write on skin too? As if it wasn't bad enough already.

...I'd waste time being insulted, but pretty much nobody here realises I'm aware enough to do so. [Looks at wall]

... [Wipes hands on Verviedi's robe]

Wasting time is a great thing only if it doesn't waste your time.

OOC: Is this funny to anyone?

Pun for the pun god... I was going to follow that up with a joke about thrones, but the Laughing god only does Stand-up

-rimshot-

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
...I'd waste time being insulted, but pretty much nobody here realises I'm aware enough to do so. [Looks at wall]

... [Wipes hands on Verviedi's robe]

I wasn't insulting you my friend. I was just saying that you saying something is disturbing is usually a pretty big indicator that something is REALLY messed up

*Brutus the Ultralisk runs back over and starts looking at the Butter Tank*

"Brutus, I brought you here to apologize for what you did to the tank last night."

*Brutus just shrugs his huge shoulders*

"We're waiting...URF!"

*Gets kicked in the stomach by Brutus, who has already run over and started going to town on the tank*

"Feel free to shoot him or something, I'm not feeling too well..."

*Throws up, then passes out and is carried off by some Zerglings*

[Stares in confusion] ... That's what was happening when I was woken up?

[Butter tank panics, beeping, and tries to drive forward, succeeding only in spinning its treads on the spot]
Use your stun shield! [cracking sounds of massive taser repeatedly firing into Brutus, who is entirely undeterred]
Well gak.

[Repressor starts beeping back to the butter tank, and roars over, attacking with its heavy flamer, and badly burning the amorous creature] [Brutus backs off in confusion, and the Butter Tank dashes away, before turning back and unloading plasma turret]

Slight overkill, but ten out of ten for style.