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 Hawky wrote:
Be guardsman. Officier yells "Fire on my target!", while pointing at it with his finger.
Suddenly all obstacles between you and his target disappear, leaving clear firing line.

Expanding on this is tau sensor suite relic. Uses thermal scans, xrays, echo location and all manner of advanced electronics and mapping tech to allow one to ignore the walls your enemy cowers behind. And is a rare experimental piece of gear.

Guard officers achieve same effects with stand issue binoculars and shouting very loudly.

 master of ordinance wrote:
Under the rules it is perfectly legal for me to fire my Deathstrike missile in old Blighty and hit a game taking place in America....

I know it's been done between GW stores, one store called another told them they were launching Deathstrike missiles at whatever game was going on at the time

Get hit by bolter round. Your arm is blown off. You fall to the ground screaming. You see the doc approaching. You desperately pick up the lasgun with your other hand and cry 'I'm fine, I'm fine!'

The doc hits you up with a powerful pain cancelling drug, slaps a temporary mechanical limb on you and you're good to go, till the limb shuts off, at least.

Or that's how it works for Scions, I am guessing Guardsmen would have to brace their lasguns on something and fire them one handed.

The guardsman would probably be punished for allowing munitorum property (ie the flakk armour) to be damaged so while he's being flogged or executed or forced to do some menial task back at whatever camp the lasgun would be handed over to the next guy.

 Verviedi wrote:
...I haven't smiled so hard in nearly a month. Thank you for that, MoO.

Edit. And it made me laugh, too. Welcome to the club of maybe ten people on Dakka who've managed that.

Youare welcome, I aim to please

On the subject of IG orders:
My officer has a perfectly good radio next to him, and the unit he is trying to issue said order too has a perfectly good radio, indeed the entire army has a comms network for communication, but he still prefers to SHOUT LOUDLY at them instead... Why?

Maybe it uses LD to check for orders (which means characters etc have a higher chance) because the characters have better comms equipment?

Battlefields can be extremely loud and there can also be all kinds of interference so it makes sense that orders are not always easy to get out.

 Ashiraya wrote:
Maybe it uses LD to check for orders (which means characters etc have a higher chance) because the characters have better comms equipment?

Battlefields can be extremely loud and there can also be all kinds of interference so it makes sense that orders are not always easy to get out.

But when you have a massive super powered comms device with a huge loud speaker mounted on it....
Limiting the range to yodelling distance does seem really, really, stupid, especially as comms would actually make it easier to hear the orders anyway.

 master of ordinance wrote:

 Ashiraya wrote:
Maybe it uses LD to check for orders (which means characters etc have a higher chance) because the characters have better comms equipment?

Battlefields can be extremely loud and there can also be all kinds of interference so it makes sense that orders are not always easy to get out.

But when you have a massive super powered comms device with a huge loud speaker mounted on it....
Limiting the range to yodelling distance does seem really, really, stupid, especially as comms would actually make it easier to hear the orders anyway.

This has always bugged me. You have comms, use them!

In my short experience with the Reserves, comms fail all the time, at some point I was the comms...

 master of ordinance wrote:

 Ashiraya wrote:
Maybe it uses LD to check for orders (which means characters etc have a higher chance) because the characters have better comms equipment?

Battlefields can be extremely loud and there can also be all kinds of interference so it makes sense that orders are not always easy to get out.

But when you have a massive super powered comms device with a huge loud speaker mounted on it....
Limiting the range to yodelling distance does seem really, really, stupid, especially as comms would actually make it easier to hear the orders anyway.

Yodelling distance? Well, I think I found my next conversion project idea. Have an exalt and keep the good stuff coming.

 master of ordinance wrote:

 Ashiraya wrote:
Maybe it uses LD to check for orders (which means characters etc have a higher chance) because the characters have better comms equipment?

Battlefields can be extremely loud and there can also be all kinds of interference so it makes sense that orders are not always easy to get out.

But when you have a massive super powered comms device with a huge loud speaker mounted on it....
Limiting the range to yodelling distance does seem really, really, stupid, especially as comms would actually make it easier to hear the orders anyway.

Well yes, the range is another matter. Voxcasters should make them global.

Some of my favorites are Imperial Guard/Astra Militarum Orders:

"Men, shoot better!" (Ignores Cover)
"Men, shoot more than you did before!" (First Rank Fire Second Rank Fire)
"Shoot and run wildly, but stay accurate!"
"Heavy Weapons Team; do a better job of taking out that Tank!"
"Special Weapons Team, shoot that Monster more betterer!"

The entire time I just think of the entire squad just going "Oh, sure! I never thought of that, great job!"

A plane, whenever or whatever it flies over, it always keeps the same height over the object bellow.
Now imagine flying over the city at high speed.


Typical Guardsman from Cadia, whenever he runs, there is always meter wide circle of grass underneath him, no matter where he stands.



Deathstrike missile launcher.

Turn one...
Crew: Launch the Missile!
Machine spirit: Nope

Next turn...
C: Launch the freakkin missile!
M s: Nope

Next turn...
C: The missile, launch! *smashes the button repeatedly*
M s: Nope. Feth you

Next turn, SM drop pods landed all over the table. Imperial victory is most certainly assured.
M s: Launching missile...
Crew: Nooooo!!!

Had a malloc jump up under a guard command squad.

Guard commander punched him to death

Poor thing has anxiety now and won't go near a table

The rules for shooting at swooping FMC's can generate some head-scratchers. Like when a FMC is on the other side of a ruin and out of line of sight of a unit, but it's actually flying and therefore could not physically end up below the building where the squad can't see it without running into something. And if it is flying that low, why is it so hard for another squad that's inches away (on the TT) to be able to hit it?

A trooper with a melta gun in an Imperial Guard squad aims at a Chaos Predator. Instead of firing at the Chaos Space Marines escorting the tank all his friends use their flashlights to illuminate the tanks armor.

WraithKnight stomping on some Chaos Space marines who shrug off the massive foot due to their armour.

Magnus charges in, but is unable to kill it, the Wraithknight jumps high into the air, drops down feet first aiming a his face, and crushes magnus completely.

Then proceeds to constantly bounce of the power armour of the marines that he keeps stomping on....

Unit of deepstriking Immortals and Cryptek can't land on the guardsmen they were targeting... So they just splat into the ground and all die. They repair themselves in time for a later, separate battle, but then they die a second time because they couldn't find where the battle was happening (scattered off the board)

Necron Lord with ressurection orb.

Necrons get massacred by well prepared defensive position. Autocannons, Lascannons and artillery tears the necrons into pieces that flies all over. Lord come in, and yells "STOP BEING SUCH USELESS PILE OF JUNK!". Suddenly, Necron parts start to crawl to each other, slowely forming new, functional warriors ready to get blown up again.

I’m playing games of mostly foot slogging orks:
Turn 2 Warboss calls a waaagggh
Orks move 6 then run another 4”.... 10 inch move
Ork trukk, flatouts 24”
Orks boyz in charge range of 5 marines, move 6”, run 4”, charge 11”, pile in 3” consolidate 6”... for a 30” move..

Ok these were pretty good rolls but it’s happened a few times for me and i only play a couple of times a month.
Orks that take the time to engage in close combat... with 4 attacks (so at least 4 swings of those huges axes) move faster than orks dedicated to running and covering as much ground as possible, 3 times as fast in fact, and faster than a ‘fast’ vehicle moving full speed.

Suspending disbelief as it’s a fantasy future universe, i can’t really see how it makes sense. Even on a non waaagh turn you get stupid movements.

Oh yeah, that and the 'no, you cant shoot that towering wraith knight as its currently in combat with some fearless grots' who are obscuring it as a target.

 MagicJuggler wrote:

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
Also one of my first favorites. Penal legionnaires with rending! Basically in the 5th edition guard codex it was very possible to roll up rending and even possible to take out a carnifex with one. Improbably yes but i wanted to model a downed carnifex with knife wounds all over it and a bunch of penal legionnaires on top of it. Realistically it is insanely stupid but it could be a legit thing back then.

Prison changes people, yo.

Speaking of old favorites, my old favorite from 5th edition was you could attach an Independent Character to Snikrot's Kommando unit and it could arrive Behind Enemy Lines with them, as the ability was granted by Snikrot to his unit, and it wasn't Outflanking as this rule was from 4th before Outflank was a thing.

So you could easily have these sneaky Orks sneaking a Bike Warboss or Mad Doc Grotsnik behind enemy lines. Yeah.

I did this with Ghazzy.

Good times.

An Imperial Guard Commissar is fighting alongside a Guard section when the sheer horror of war causes them to break and flee. Realising that he needs to make an example of one, lest the line break, the Commissar turns his Bolt Pistol on himself and blows his own brains out, causing the section to rethink their actions.

(Under the rules the Commissar must execute the model with the highest LD, usually himself. Now, the rules state that a Commissar cannot shoot another Commissar, but due to the wording he cannot shoot ANOTHER Commissar, but he can shoot himself)

 Hawky wrote:
Necron Lord with ressurection orb.

Necrons get massacred by well prepared defensive position. Autocannons, Lascannons and artillery tears the necrons into pieces that flies all over. Lord come in, and yells "STOP BEING SUCH USELESS PILE OF JUNK!". Suddenly, Necron parts start to crawl to each other, slowely forming new, functional warriors ready to get blown up again.

I think that's what it's supposed to be like...

 master of ordinance wrote:
An Imperial Guard Commissar is fighting alongside a Guard section when the sheer horror of war causes them to break and flee. Realising that he needs to make an example of one, lest the line break, the Commissar turns his Bolt Pistol on himself and blows his own brains out, causing the section to rethink their actions.

(Under the rules the Commissar must execute the model with the highest LD, usually himself. Now, the rules state that a Commissar cannot shoot another Commissar, but due to the wording he cannot shoot ANOTHER Commissar, but he can shoot himself)

It makes sense though. For morale checks you use the model with the highest LD. If the squad flees, it is because he failed. So he is the one who is guilty.

 IronMaster wrote:
Some of my favorites are Imperial Guard/Astra Militarum Orders:

"Men, shoot better!" (Ignores Cover)
"Men, shoot more than you did before!" (First Rank Fire Second Rank Fire)
"Shoot and run wildly, but stay accurate!"
"Heavy Weapons Team; do a better job of taking out that Tank!"
"Special Weapons Team, shoot that Monster more betterer!"

The entire time I just think of the entire squad just going "Oh, sure! I never thought of that, great job!"

I like to imagine that the Imperial Guard is run by people so utterly incompetent and dedicated to following the rules that Imperial Guardsman can only fire effectively when they are ordered to do so.

 master of ordinance wrote:
An Imperial Guard Commissar is fighting alongside a Guard section when the sheer horror of war causes them to break and flee. Realising that he needs to make an example of one, lest the line break, the Commissar turns his Bolt Pistol on himself and blows his own brains out, causing the section to rethink their actions.

(Under the rules the Commissar must execute the model with the highest LD, usually himself. Now, the rules state that a Commissar cannot shoot another Commissar, but due to the wording he cannot shoot ANOTHER Commissar, but he can shoot himself)

even better was if the squad had an attached Inquisitor...

 don_mondo wrote:

 master of ordinance wrote:
An Imperial Guard Commissar is fighting alongside a Guard section when the sheer horror of war causes them to break and flee. Realising that he needs to make an example of one, lest the line break, the Commissar turns his Bolt Pistol on himself and blows his own brains out, causing the section to rethink their actions.

(Under the rules the Commissar must execute the model with the highest LD, usually himself. Now, the rules state that a Commissar cannot shoot another Commissar, but due to the wording he cannot shoot ANOTHER Commissar, but he can shoot himself)

even better was if the squad had an attached Inquisitor...

I like to imagine an attached SM chapter master. They're not fearless and CLEARLY that squad staying put is worth the dead chapter master...

 master of ordinance wrote:
An Imperial Guard Commissar is fighting alongside a Guard section when the sheer horror of war causes them to break and flee. Realising that he needs to make an example of one, lest the line break, the Commissar turns his Bolt Pistol on himself and blows his own brains out, causing the section to rethink their actions.

(Under the rules the Commissar must execute the model with the highest LD, usually himself. Now, the rules state that a Commissar cannot shoot another Commissar, but due to the wording he cannot shoot ANOTHER Commissar, but he can shoot himself)

No, the rule specifies that the Commissar himself can't be chosen as the target.
You roll a dice to determine if you or the opponent gets to pick who dies.

 master of ordinance wrote:
An Imperial Guard Commissar is fighting alongside a Guard section when the sheer horror of war causes them to break and flee. Realising that he needs to make an example of one, lest the line break, the Commissar turns his Bolt Pistol on himself and blows his own brains out, causing the section to rethink their actions.

(Under the rules the Commissar must execute the model with the highest LD, usually himself. Now, the rules state that a Commissar cannot shoot another Commissar, but due to the wording he cannot shoot ANOTHER Commissar, but he can shoot himself)

My favourite one from this was when a friend had attached Marneus Calgar to a squad and used his old rule to pass or fail any moral check. He wanted to try leg it so elected to fail, at which point his opponent said the commisar in the squad would use his rule. Highest leadership was Calgar at the time.

One swift blam later, dead Chapter Master but at least the guardsmen were motivated to stay in the fight.