Clone Wars gets gang beat down by reviewers

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**Frazzled**

I like this review the best
http://chicago.metromix.com/movies/movie_review/movie-review-star-wars/553252/contentest:

At what point might animators be arrested for doing work so ugly it causes aesthetic blindness in millions of younglings?

It’s not a question that comes up every week. But this is the week for it. The two cruddiest animated films of the year, “Star Wars: The Clone Wars” and “Fly Me to the Moon,” have precious little to take your mind or your eyes off the visual crimes against humanity. I suppose I’m overstating it. But woe be to us and our eyes if we get worse animation of any stripe this century.

“Clone Wars” was executive-produced by George Lucas, who may be feeling a tad sheepish about the results. The film’s purpose is clear. It is a full-length teaser for the forthcoming TV series of the same name. The animation style, according to Lucas and director Dave Filoni, owes debts to Japanese anime and manga and the marionettes of the old “Thunderbirds” series. What we see in this grinding bore, however, resembles photographs of woodcuts, moving herky-jerky, swinging their light sabers here and there while the battle sequences pound on and on and on and on and on, as surly young Anakin Skywalker and lippy young Ahsoka Tano trade the flattest exposition and the most witless witticisms in the galaxy. There’s a Hutt in this thing by the name of Ziro with a voice like Truman Capote, and he appears to be a bit of a cross-dresser. There. You now know the most interesting thing about “Clone Wars.”

**Greebynog**

I knew this was going to be bad...but this bad? Episode One's almost starting to look good compared to this crap...I miss the days when Star Wars was good. Unfortunately those days were a long, long time ago. In a galaxy far, far away.

Badoom tish!

**Necros**

The reason people give new star wars stuff bad reviews is because they're all old folks expecting the original trilogy (or at least the first 2 movies) all over again and just can't accept the fact that those days are long, long gone. The star wars franchise exists now to do nothing but sell toys. Each movie is a 2 hour toy commercial. That's all. And every kid that sees a star wars movie instantly wants star wars toys. That's why George Lucas is pooping gold bricks, and we're all complaining about his commercials not being as good as they used to be, but it doesn't matter, cuz kids all want clone wars toys now. We can complain till we're blue in the face, but they're still gonna be making more toys and more commercials

**Deadshane1**

I hear George Lucas got the rights to make a 40k movie!

I cannot wait, there's a comic relief alien called Guchiguchi Mumuchum that keeps spouting hilarities about the dark gothicness of the universe. He hangs with a Dark Angel commander named "Lord Duke Spacejammer" (nevermind that DA's are supposed to hate Xeno's)

...its gonna be awesome. I bet all you guys that have been waiting for a good 40k movie are exited that this is coming from...."The Master".

**CorporateLogo**

This new Clone Wars flick was the first three episodes of the new series jammed together and released in theaters. I'll wager it would have made a decent direct to DVD flick, but releasing it in theaters was just a money grab.

It's a shame that we keep getting stuff about the Clone Wars. I'm sure there's more interesting stories to be told than having goody-goody Jedi #34 fight looks-cools-but-has-no-other-redeeming-qualities Darth Maul, I mean Sith #232. Then again, most if not all of the Expanded Universe is garbage anyways, so maybe it's a good thing nobody's done anything with it yet.

**JohnHwangDD**

CorporateLogo wrote:This new Clone Wars flick was the first three episodes of the new series jammed together and released in theaters. I'll wager it would have made a decent direct to DVD flick, but releasing it in theaters was just a money grab.

No way? Lucas just going for the money? I can't believe it.

**reds8n**

Necros wrote: And every kid that sees a star wars movie instantly wants star wars toys.

In fairness every adult male I know who sees a Star Wars film has an urge to buy Star Wars toys. If I wasn't self medicating with a carefully balanced regime of alcohol and narcotics I worry at the amount of crap I might have bought.
..err... other than the GW crap I buy of course.

**Ahtman**

reds8n wrote:In fairness every adult male I know who sees a Star Wars film has an urge to buy Star Wars toys.

The last 3 movies, well I guess 4 now, pretty much cured that disease.

If this is the awesome quality we can expect I can't wait to see the live action TV show also in production.

**Necros**

We need a new xmas special, with Jar Jar and the whole gang!

**Frazzled**

I'd have to agree with Ahtman. Skywalker, man I had some uberkewl toys from Star Wars. Tie fighter, X wing, some of the guys, and of course storm troopers and Vader. You weren't a boy unless you had those.

The most recent three cured me of seeing "star wars" franchise films or shows.

**reds8n**

I don't know... my mates bairns had some of the clone trooper ships etc and I thought they'd make great Tau superheavies......man I need to get out more.

Doesn't bode well for the TV show though I have to concur. On the plus side they might explain why R2 never just explains everything to everyone about what actually happened.

**Panic**

yeah...
Nostalgia isnt what it used to be...
Panic...

**Waaagh_Gonads**

I was going to go and watch it but the preview left me thinking 'What the hell is going on with th eblock like animation?'

Animation has moved so far from the dodgy job they did in this movie its not funny.

Then the reviews started coming out about the lameness in general of the characters and story.
Add to that a complete lack of empathy, or even interest in Anakin Skywalker thanks to Hayden Christensen and it makes me even less inclined to go.

I might watch it on DVD at some stage in the distant futre.

**Kid_Kyoto**

Another serious problem is focusing on Anakin.

Dude, he's the villain. We know he's the villain.

A film/TV series focusing on the rebel era or continuing past Jedi would be like printing money.

**Ahtman**

Kid_Kyoto wrote:A film/TV series focusing on the rebel era or continuing past Jedi would be like printing money.

I wish I could agree but:

1: To many people, like Star Trek, who will buy the stuff just becuase it says Star Wars on the package/poster. It will make money anyway.

2: I've lost faith in Lucas and Lucasarts so I don't doubt that they'd feth up anything else Star Wars related, regardless of time period. The live action TV show in development is set after Episode III but before Star Wars.

**lord senobio**

the comment about old folks wanting the original series is why we complain-that is c**p.
I hated it, because it was wrong from the storyline.
Anakin was never a a master we see this in episode 3-he gets mad because he is not made a master, and feels he should be.
in this clone wars "toy commercial/movie" his padawan tells the clone comander that they should move the cannons further back to better protect them-the troopers are suppose to be military trained-and she knows more about tatics then they do?plus she can hold her own vs a sith assasin.
this new clone wars is suppose to take place between episodes 2 and 3, watch and see what other new things come up.
the clone wars series done by cartoon netwrok is a much better telling of the story-(the cartoon picture could have been done better), but part 2 of the series goes very well with episode 3.

**Ahtman**

lord senobio wrote:the comment about old folks wanting the original series is why we complain-that is c**p.

What?

**Mahu**

I keep wanting to see it. But I always seem to find better movies.

Lucas has made a world where a movie called "Death Race" was more appealing then something called "Star Wars".

Seriously, how do you screw that up?

**Platuan4th**

The animation style works when you have Ghendi Tartovski(sp?) hand drawing it like the original micro-series. Copying his style in CG just plain does not work.

**Anung Un Rama**

I didn't see it yet, because most of the reviews very so terrible.
My favourite one is that on joblo.com
http://www.joblo.com/index.php?id=22568

Here are a few lines from the review:

Remember how much everyone hated Jar Jar Binks in THE PHANTOM MENACE? Jar Jar is like Han friggin' Solo compared to the new characters introduced in this film!

Meet Jabba's offspring, STINKY. Yep, Stinky. That's what they call him in the film. He's a baby version of Jabba, and spends the movie making funny faces and farting. That's right folks, STAR WARS now has fart jokes.

It makes the two eighties EWOK movies look like THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK in comparison.

Sounds awefull doesn't it. And I was such a fan of the original clone wars cartoon.

**Sok**

Don't see it. Ever. I did, and it was horrible.

As entertaining as it is to see the big gay lovechild of Eric Cartman and a slug, I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a fork than see this travesty again.

</rant>

**Griffu**

I watched it too. I had a movie date with friends, but someone got the wrong schedule and Wall E wasn't playing. So we watched the other animated film.

Ooooh boy.

Anakin and Asoka insipid and stupid, Darth Vader's mystique has been utterly destroyed... watching the dialogue between those two gave me a dull ache in the back of my head. And yeah, fart jokes. But the worst for me has got to be the droids, it's an entire army of Jar-Jar Binks.

What on Earth were you thinking, Lucas?