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 Easy E wrote:

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
GI Joe Origins - Snake Eyes

A film which like the scarlet pimpernel himself, came and went barely noticed.

I know I’ve seen this before - but like Underworld 2, I couldn’t tell you a bloody thing about it.

Maybe Mr Brain will break for the border again on this rewatch.

I'm not sure why this was needed, as the first G.I. Joe movie pretty much tells us Snake Eyes origins.

I didn't really like this movie. I have had to work hard to realize that the movie universe is not the comic book universe, it just shares the same name and names.
It felt like they dumped on one of several of my favorite characters by re inventing them in such a lame way. Regardless of nu-Snake-eyes being "Asian" now it shot Storm shadow right in the face with this whole new bake story. Which to me removed any reason he would have to ever work for cobra. Honestly none of the live action GIJOE movies have been as good as many of us would have hoped for when we were dreaming about all of this cool stuff that could be or could have been. Oh well. On the very flip side the njas in these other two movie were easily the best parts. Those red ninjas were psychotic and I really like that about them.
It's all very sad thought given the massive amount of material they could have drawn from to do all that much more.


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 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Oh this one rips that up and stuffs it up your jumper right off.


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It’s no good.

Got as far as the giant snek appearing and bailed.

What an awful film.

The first round of giant snakes or the second?
You might have missed the best part, Snake-eyes leading the ninja clan on a fake out so he can find the jewel and take it. Which was the best bit in the whole movie, imop.

So many missed opportunities, Snake-eyes is known for using way too much explosives and has no chill, could have been, oh well.

First one. Got flashbacks to my first watch and bailed.

Now on…

Angel Has Fallen

And he can’t get it up. Third in the Nasty Tumble series, starting Gerard Butler and Morgan Freeman.

What a flaccid action movie this is. Also I suspect rather insulting to Military types, given outside of our main character, they all seem to be Rabbits In The Headlights as soon as action kicks off.

Yeah, meh.


I had a filmwatching evening with my siblings. Made them watch Punisher:Warzone. Greatly entertaining film.

After that we watched the first 11 minutes of Ponyo. None of us had seen it before, but boy.... Ghibli films just rock, don't they. They're insanely beautiful from the first shot, they are able to tell a story without words and just instantly suck you into their beautiful world of entertaining, sympathetic characters. I'll go on watching this one asap.

The Lost City

Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum vehicle, with a dash of Daniel “I really don’t have to work, and haven’t for some time, but when I do I’m clearly picking roles I can have fun with” Radcliffe as the baddie.

This is…..far, far better than I was expecting! Action come RomCom, so for group or couple viewing there’s something for most.

Definitely give this a watch.

Mission Impossible: The One Where Tom Cruise Hangs off of the Burj

Mission Impossible: The One Where Tom Cruise Hangs off of an Airplane

So these two popped up on Netflix in Egypt. Both perfectly cromulent action/heist films.

They both go to the well of 'the IMF has been disavowed/disbanded and must fight on as a rogue unit" but I guess "the world is in danger and our only hope is Tom Cruise" makes for more drama than "our only hope is Tom Cruise, 3,000 intelligence analysts, SEAL Team 6 and the USS Abraham Lincoln Strike Group".

It's a weird thing but amongst all the nonsense it was the destruction of the Kremlin that jumped out at me as unrealistic. It was obviously multiple explosions with explosives planted in different places and I just couldn't figure out how a crazy terrorist dude managed to plant all of them.

Tonight I'll watch Mission Impossible: Tom Cruise vs Superman's Mustache.

I’d try giving them a watch, but I can’t be seen to be encouraging diminutive mentalist Tom Cruise.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
What a flaccid action movie this is. Also I suspect rather insulting to Military types, given outside of our main character, they all seem to be Rabbits In The Headlights as soon as action kicks off.

Believe me, some of my fellows haven't got the braincells to expend thinking beyond "Ooh, big explosion, tits, kill the bad guy!"
I was dragged into the cinema to watch this by my colleagues. I knew it was going to be crap before we went in. It was a god awful crap experience to watch. Then at the end I'm surrounded by "oh wow, amazing!"

Bob's Burgers - The Movie (2022)

I really like the show, I watched the film now. It's pretty much what you'd expect. It's deeply unnecessary. They do this thing where they take the look of the show and try to polish it up by putting a layer of shadow on everything and make some animations very smooth-looking and they add some sort of 'climax' in the end. That doesn't really fit the show (remember the episode where Linda gets flying lessons and the showrunners said that the way that went is as far as the show will go in terms of outlandish scenarios?), but I guess they have to do that if Disney orders a film.

It's perfectly fine though. It's consistent, it doesn't change much about the tone of the show, doesn't mess with characters (they feature too many if any. No aunt Gail though, surprisingly.), it gives everybody a bit to do, and to the usual ratios overall. I'm never quite sure who this show is aimed at because it covers all bases so well. I guess it's a 'family show/film'? Possibly aiming a bit more at kids with this one. And there's good, wholesome stuff in there, presented in a relateable and funny manner.

They do have a bunch of songs in there. I think they got a bit heavy on the songs in more recent years (with good reason, because that show produced some bangers. Few years back I was sick, had a fever and had "Bad stuff happens in the bath room" - clearly one of the greatest songs to ever come out of tv - in my head for days. Weird experience, but I've had that before with other songs as well when having a fever.), but oh well. It's not bad songs and there aren't too many, so don't worry when the thing basically starts with a song.

Watch It. It certainly is better than the Simpsons film. At times it feels a bit meandering and long, but it's pretty much pleasant throughout. It runs for just over 90 minutes (excluding end credits). Turning a 20 minutes tv show into a film must be very tricky, because it's inherently feeling 'wrong' in the different format. So given that fundamentally problematic situation they did very well.

It won't hurt if you're familiar with the show, but it's not necessary I'd say.

Demonoid

In which an evil, possessed hand goes on a wee killing spree, including somehow transplanting itself, or it’s evil, on to a new victim.

Basically it’s Idle Hands, sans the comedy, and sans Jessica Alba’s derrière. But being a child of the 70’s and a horror, we do get Entirely Gratutious Knockers.


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Body Melt

Australian body horror from the 90’s. Does exactly what the title suggests. Bonus points because Harold Bishop is the baddie, selling vitamins and that which have a rather deleterious affect upon the body. Like your knob exploding, head imploding, even your placenta becoming psychotic and sentient. As you do.

By no means a masterpiece. In fact it’s quite the mess of film making. But it remains relatively fun if daft gore is your thing.

Sword of Vengeance

Perhaps the most famous theatrical re-telling of the 47 Ronin and the fall of the Asano clan in Feudal Japan.

If you have never seen a serious Samurai movie before, this is a pretty good start. Sure, there is plenty of sword play and blood, but there is a lot of politics and maneuvering within what the code of honor allows.

I can see some people being bored with this one, but it does try to spice it up with explosions of violence every so often. However, it really is a solid piece of film making.

So…Shogun minus 47 Ronin?

Anyone seen Smile?

Tempted to rent it, as it’s a horror movie and the lead is called Sosie Bacon. Which amuses me.

I’m a sucker for horror movies. Which means I watch more than my share of gakky movies…

Just watched a horror flick called The Offering, which came out in 2022. Wish I hadn’t. Not because it was scary, but because it sucked. Its got the actor that played Thoros of Myr from GoT, which is cool that he’s still getting work, but thats about all the praise I can give it.

It shows its hand right out of the gate and its mostly nothing but jump scares from start to finish. And not even good jump scares, but cheap ones. Its set in a Hasidic Jew funeral home, but aside from that, there’s nothing new here. Pretty cool looking demon, though.

Can’t really recommend.

If you want a good Hasidic Jew horror story, check out 2019’s The Vigil.

If you want a good funeral home horror movie, check out 2016’s The Autopsy of Jane Doe.






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 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Anyone seen Smile?

Tempted to rent it, as it’s a horror movie and the lead is called Sosie Bacon. Which amuses me.

That’s next on my list. Also, Sosie Bacon is Kevin Bacon’s (of 1984’s Footloose and the Tremors movie series fame) daughter.

Smile

Bought it, watched it, enjoyed it.

Being a psychological horror I won’t say more.

Oblivion

I guess I'm on a Tom Cruise kick.

Tom Cruise and his hot redhead wife are care takers of a ruined Earth after a war with interstellar invaders and everyone has evacted to Titan (this already makes no sense since Earth seems pretty habitable, but more on that later). Tom is tormented with dreams of the pre-war Earth, before he was born, and a mysterious woman. But then Tom discovers his hot brunette dream wife in a cryo tube and stuff happens.



Was there ever a movie as well named as this? I saw it 2 days ago and can barely remember it. Never heard a word about this film or a reference to it, even when it was in theaters, no one cares and no one should. Nice CGI ruins, even if they make no sense (how did the books in a library survive a nuclear war?). And the plot ALMOST works, but kind of doesn't. Another lavish, beautiful film that I will have no memory of by next month.

But the soundtrack... that sticks with you (or at least it stuck with me)

Spaceballs!

Still a lot of fun.
It almost feels like a live action heavy metal as much as it is a parody of star wars. but I think it's more like heavy metal.

Wyvern

Description on Amazon Prime? “They find a Wyvern living in the USA”…..

A few minutes in and we’ve seen the Wyvern eat a fishermen, and General George Hammond just witnessed a Moose head fall from the sky.

So? So far, so good.

If that was made back when General George Hammond was still alive, I expect the Wyvern effects to be really bad. Hopefully good bad.

Who will he call to help him MacGyver his way out of that situation?

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
If that was made back when General George Hammond was still alive, I expect the Wyvern effects to be really bad. Hopefully good bad.

They’re actually alright, as such things go. Way above Sharknado type awfulness. And? Amazingly. Blessedly. Miraculously? Used sparingly.

On reflection, it’s a surprisingly decent Monster Movie, focussing as the best ones do on the poor human sods experiencing a Brown Trouser Situation, figuring out a way to survive.

It’s not great of course, but it is enjoyable enough. And I freely admit it was Prime’s super short, nigh enigmatic description that made me watch it!

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On

The premise is a bit bizarre, but if you can go with it this is a sweet, charming little movie. There are some good laughs, too.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Wyvern

Description on Amazon Prime? “They find a Wyvern living in the USA”…..

A few minutes in and we’ve seen the Wyvern eat a fishermen, and General George Hammond just witnessed a Moose head fall from the sky.

So? So far, so good.

This sounds like a 2014 Asylum film. I imagine a LOT of aerial shots of forests and a lot of a handful of people (one of them famous) walking through a wood. Come to think of it, I think I entirely base this on the film Pterodactyl, starring Parker Lewis.


Seeing General Hammond is fun though.

Pretty much! It’s surprisingly not terrible overall.

Speaking of surprisingly not terrible?

House of Wax

The one with Paris Hilton and Sam Winchester. Pretty bog standard turn of the century teen slasher fare. Quite low on gore, but it’s largely alright if you’ve nothing more pressing on your watch list.

It improves greatly once we’re down to the last two teens, but the first half drags it down.

Top moment?

Carly smacks main villain Bo in the jaw with a baseball bat. And. She. Doesn’t. Stop. She keeps going, smacking seven shades of smelly stuff out of him. Probably not the first movie to have a sensible heroine, but satisfying to see all the same. And credit to the crew for making each strike look and feel painful.


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Superhost

It’s another slasher about awful “influencers” getting their comeuppance.

Very small cast, but a decent enough film, with a most definitely memorable villain. Clearly utterly hatstand, but in an almost disarmingly charming way.

I’d say give this one a watch if you enjoy Slashers, unless you have an (entirely understandable) aversion to “influencers” in general.


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The Lair

Random Prime find. Wasn’t expecting much. Then the opening credits say “produced by Neil Marshall”…followed by “directed by Neil Marshall”.

This…this is Neil “I made Dog Soldiers, me. And The Descent. And the episode of GoT with the attack on the wall. And Doc’s favourite guilty pleasure Doomsday” Marshall…..essentially doing Resident Evil.

You know this going to be better than good. It’s Neil Marshall for heaven’s sake!

Lost Highway - 1997.
I bought the sound track way back when...

David Lynch serves up a weird one. I didn't really get it for a long time but say a video not too long ago explaining it a bit, more of a theory video I guess. It is a lot less confusing with those ideas about the characters in mind. Honestly everything's there to figure out.
I decided to watch this again this evening because I had been working on a few memes with the mystery man from this movie. Bad memes that make me laugh.

I think over all it's a good movie David Lynch in general can be difficult to digest. I really like that he uses so many of the same actors in is movies and again in Twin Peaks. It's fun to see those same faces acting together even in other films.

You might enjoy this or you might not.

Vesper.

A very visually interesting film, with lots of unique looking vegetation.

Plot started out with a lot of potential, however it didn't seem to be enough to really grab me. A few common tropes on display, also made it hard to warm to it.

Shame as there felt like there was initially a good story in this, just not the one we ended up with.

Ending felt a bit anti climatic as well as quite rushed.

Came away from watching it and felt that the film was leaning too heavily on its visuals to carry the film and not the story. Could be that I am at an age where not much feels new and fresh story wise.

Scare Package

Take a thumbnail sketch of the thinking behind Cabin In The Woods, reformat it as an anthology where each segment provides a resident for "the cabin" and make it for a lot less money.

Plays more heavily with the "meta" concept than even the Scream series, and leans more heavily into the comedy part of comedy-horror, this film does a surprising amount with very little, it's just a shame that it peaks quite early in its runtime and then seems to run out of steam a little.

Simultaneously feels like watching a good quality 80s straight-to-video release while lampooning 80s era straight-to-video movies, this isn't one to promote to the top of the must watch list, but is a credible option if you're scratching about for something to watch.

Think I watched that the other day. I agree it’s a bit better than alright in itself, but has been done better before.

Finally watched Smile.

Pretty great psychological horror. Reminded me of 2014’s It Follows, which had a similar sort of plot, but Smile stayed consistent.

Little Shop of Horrors (Director’s Cut)

The theatrical version is one of the best movie musicals, and especially one of the best movie adaptations of a Broadway musical ever. The director’s cut is superior. Not only is it more thematically consistent, but it also has a fantastically dark pay off to a character’s establishing song, a couple gut punch scenes, and an top notch kaiju sequence.