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metallifan wrote:

Khornholio wrote:If you have Edward James Olmos skin, then chloroform is the way to go. But, white wine is cheaper and chicks usually like it.

The difference is, they can still say no after you fill them full of cheap wine.

With Chloroform, "No" means "Yes"

Hey, it's not rape if they aren't fighting back! *BLAM*

Hoho yes, and to be honnesth I was thinking abouth you and Chloroform just now..... *BLAM

W...T...F...?

Emperors Faithful wrote:W...T...F...?

Well sometimes when you want to get laid you have to go to extreme measures.

Anshal + metallifan + chloroform = ...

Emperors Faithful wrote:Anshal + metallifan + chloroform = ...

Well is Anshal a guy or girl?

Cheesecat wrote:

Well is metallifan a guy or girl?

Fixed it.

I'm a guy, though Sometimes I like to get dressed up in heels and...

Guess who's still single?

I asked her out in gym. The following conversation has not been edited.

GES: Hey, you doing anything this weekend or next?
Girl: Are you asking me out?
GES: I believe that is why I asked if you were doing anything this weekend or next, yes.
Girl: I'm sorry, I really really am, but I have a boyfriend. (Proceeds to show me a text to prove this.)
GES: In that case, i apoligize for wasting your time, may you have a good day.

I walk away, and see my buddies. They are all wearing looks of disappointment that are even bigger then mine.
This is how our conversation went the rest of gym class.

Ian: I honestly thought you had a chance.
GES: As did i.
Matt: Well, you can't really be mad at yourself. She was flirting with you. What the hell were you supposed to expect?
Shak: I can set you up on a date with one of my...
GES: NO! I siad no dammit. I appreciate the concern, but I don't need you to set me up on a blind date.

He then leaves to go talk to her.

As we leave, he comes up and reveals what they talked about.

Shak: She said if she wasn't in a relationship, she would og out with you.
GES: Guess I'll just have to wait for the end of the month when they inevitably break up over something stupid. Then I swoop in like a vulture an pick the remains...
Shak: That is an all together disturbing and appropriate analogy.
GES: Kinda why I used it.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

metallifan wrote:I'm a guy, though Sometimes I like to get dressed up in heels and...

Go to bars and tell all the big strong men to call you Mrs. Chaffers?

Me too, me too.

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:Guess who's still single?

GES: Guess I'll just have to wait for the end of the month when they inevitably break up over something stupid. Then I swoop in like a vulture an pick the remains...
Shak: That is an all together disturbing and appropriate analogy.
GES: Kinda why I used it.

Um. Yeeeeeaaah.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Seriously though, good on you for having the stones to try. (Might want to lay off on further analogies in her presence though)

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:
As we leave, he comes up and reveals what they talked about.

Shak: She said if she wasn't in a relationship, she would og out with you.
GES: Guess I'll just have to wait for the end of the month when they inevitably break up over something stupid. Then I swoop in like a vulture an pick the remains...
Shak: That is an all together disturbing and appropriate analogy.
GES: Kinda why I used it.

Did it ever occur to you that if "they inevitably break up over something stupid" at the end of the month then chances are that you too, if you succeed in attaining a relationship with this girl, will also break up over something stupid at the end of the month?

Emperors Faithful wrote:

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:Guess who's still single?

GES: Guess I'll just have to wait for the end of the month when they inevitably break up over something stupid. Then I swoop in like a vulture an pick the remains...
Shak: That is an all together disturbing and appropriate analogy.
GES: Kinda why I used it.

Um. Yeeeeeaaah.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Seriously though, good on you for having the stones to try. (Might want to lay off on further analogies in her presence though)

I didn't use the analogy in her presence. I'm still putting up the front of a (relatively) sane person to impress her remember.
I also subscribe to the school of "all in, balls out." If you're gonna do something, don't half ass it.

Nightwatch wrote:

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:
As we leave, he comes up and reveals what they talked about.

Shak: She said if she wasn't in a relationship, she would go out with you.
GES: Guess I'll just have to wait for the end of the month when they inevitably break up over something stupid. Then I swoop in like a vulture an pick the remains...
Shak: That is an all together disturbing and appropriate analogy.
GES: Kinda why I used it.

Did it ever occur to you that if "they inevitably break up over something stupid" at the end of the month then chances are that you too, if you succeed in attaining a relationship with this girl, will also break up over something stupid at the end of the month?

Yup. Don't care.

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:

Yup. Don't care.

Ah. I see. That kind of relationship. *facepalm*

Nightwatch wrote:

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:

Yup. Don't care.

Ah. I see. That kind of relationship. *facepalm*

I'm fifteen. Did you expect anything other then that kind of relationship?
I'm assuming you meant a sexual one, as well.

He's fifteen, he....wait. Age of consent in your state/country is...?

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:

Nightwatch wrote:

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:

Yup. Don't care.

Ah. I see. That kind of relationship. *facepalm*

I'm fifteen. Did you expect anything other then that kind of relationship?
I'm assuming you meant a sexual one, as well.

Ha. Not at all. But it's always nice to see someone going for long-term for a change.

I personally see all such relationships as utterly pointless, even as a means for temporary satisfaction and bragging rights ("I've got a girlfriend and you don't!") because a few weeks later when you look back on it, you realize you just wasted a chunk of your life that could have been spent improving yourself in some way that will make it count when you actually want to enter a serious one. Just my thoughts.


EDIT: That's a long sentence, isn't it?^^

Emperors Faithful wrote:He's fifteen, he....wait. Age of consent in your state/country is...?

18.

Doesn't stop teens from fething though.

...

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:Guess who's still single?

I asked her out in gym. The following conversation has not been edited.

GES: Hey, you doing anything this weekend or next?
Girl: Are you asking me out?
GES: I believe that is why I asked if you were doing anything this weekend or next, yes.
Girl: I'm sorry, I really really am, but I have a boyfriend. (Proceeds to show me a text to prove this.)
GES: In that case, i apoligize for wasting your time, may you have a good day.

I walk away, and see my buddies. They are all wearing looks of disappointment that are even bigger then mine.
This is how our conversation went the rest of gym class.

Ian: I honestly thought you had a chance.
GES: As did i.
Matt: Well, you can't really be mad at yourself. She was flirting with you. What the hell were you supposed to expect?
Shak: I can set you up on a date with one of my...
GES: NO! I siad no dammit. I appreciate the concern, but I don't need you to set me up on a blind date.

He then leaves to go talk to her.

As we leave, he comes up and reveals what they talked about.

Shak: She said if she wasn't in a relationship, she would og out with you.
GES: Guess I'll just have to wait for the end of the month when they inevitably break up over something stupid. Then I swoop in like a vulture an pick the remains...
Shak: That is an all together disturbing and appropriate analogy.
GES: Kinda why I used it.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

metallifan wrote:I'm a guy, though Sometimes I like to get dressed up in heels and...

Go to bars and tell all the big strong men to call you Mrs. Chaffers?

Me too, me too.

Well since you're still single I don't have to worry about getting jealous, unless this girl was absolutely hideous then I wouldn't care if you had a romance or not.

Emperors Faithful wrote:He's fifteen, he....wait. Age of consent in your state/country is...?

Age of consent is just a suggestion.

15-year olds saying they are 'in a relationship'

Cheese Elemental wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:He's fifteen, he....wait. Age of consent in your state/country is...?

Age of consent is just a suggestion.

Until you get arrested for getting too cozy with someone 4 years older than you.

Cheese Elemental wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:He's fifteen, he....wait. Age of consent in your state/country is...?

Age of consent is just a suggestion.

Quiet you.

If she's old enough to pee, then that's good enough for me.

If there's fluff above her muff, then she's old enough.

Cheesecat wrote:If she's old enough to pee, then that's good enough for me.

If there's fluff above her muff, then she's old enough.

One for each.

@ GES- Sorry to hear that, brosef. Better luck next time. Anyway, don't get too worried. There are many more figurative fish in the figurative sea. If you know what I mean.


Anyway, onto my life.

So yeah, next week I am going to two proms with the girl I like. We go to different schools, I am going to hers and she is going to mine. For some reason I can't shake the feeling that she doesn't like me. But at the same time, she invited me to her prom so she has to kind of like me, you know?

This is where the me thinking too much comes in. Maybe if I knock myself out I would stop/maybe if I go watch some pr0n I'd stop thinking about it.

Vladsimpaler wrote:

So yeah, next week I am going to two proms with the girl I like. We go to different schools, I am going to hers and she is going to mine. For some reason I can't shake the feeling that she doesn't like me. But at the same time, she invited me to her prom so she has to kind of like me, you know?

This is where the me thinking too much comes in. Maybe if I knock myself out I would stop/maybe if I go watch some pr0n I'd stop thinking about it.

Or she could be desperate to have someone to go to prom with, and you're the hottest guy she could find.

My new signature is the best. even though no one here gets it.

Tilean Bastard wrote:My new signature is the best. even though no one here gets it.

Care to let us in on the joke?

Vladsimpaler wrote:

Cheesecat wrote:If she's old enough to pee, then that's good enough for me.

If there's fluff above her muff, then she's old enough.

One for each.

@ GES- Sorry to hear that, brosef. Better luck next time. Anyway, don't get too worried. There are many more figurative fish in the figurative sea. If you know what I mean.


Anyway, onto my life.

So yeah, next week I am going to two proms with the girl I like. We go to different schools, I am going to hers and she is going to mine. For some reason I can't shake the feeling that she doesn't like me. But at the same time, she invited me to her prom so she has to kind of like me, you know?

This is where the me thinking too much comes in. Maybe if I knock myself out I would stop/maybe if I go watch some pr0n I'd stop thinking about it.

Yes, the old Prom. What a disappointment factory that was for me. I had a date, she then proceeded to get the "I don't feel good " act going. She didn't dance to the music I like and I DON'T dance to rap music. *Sigh* Let's just say the fornication meter was on -3.

GES, I went through the same last year. Being 12 sucked.
Basically she did the whole 'oh you know my schedule is really busy this summer and I just don't feel like it'
Now I'm trying to do the same again...oh gawd
Nailbiting and sweating,
Mr. Self Destruct

Nightwatch wrote:

Tilean Bastard wrote:My new signature is the best. even though no one here gets it.

Care to let us in on the joke?

Well I belong to another online community and we often chat on a voice program called mumble and one day I just started to randomly talk about beef jerky and this other member said that line in a mafia-ish voice and it was forever cemented into my brain.