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A classy transport for classy cargo. Costly, but tough and beautiful. Often totally required for an Eldar list. Now, how do you dump people out the things without it ending in suffering?

Let's say my serpent is full of Banshees. They want so badly to stab things, but they're 18 inches away from those vulnerable MEQs. How do I handle the serpent to best get the ladies all stuck in?

I've tried just running flat out( tank shocking even) or using the Star Engines to close RIGHT in their faces, then trying to sit the turn out so I can dump them on the next turn into an assault. What happens is, sometimes they get to jump right out and start wrecking next turn but even more of the time they end up getting shot up from the wreckage of their asploded Serpent. Most armies I play are Marines and IG so defeating them is top priority.

Second possibility is move them in slow, take two turns to sidle the tank up close (you get to fire when you do this) and dump. Course, if you take 4 or higher damage result the girls have to run the rest of the way, around the tank, which slows them down.

Third is move in, dump, and sit out in the open. Anything that hurts the tank won't affect them unless it's an explosion (which happens more than infrequent with my luck). But, either the tank is between them and the target (so they gotta run around) or they can be seen past the tank (empty those bolters, boys)

Fourth, and I haven't tried this outta fear, is to dump them within 13-18(hope I can eyeball it), wait a turn, then move, run, assault. Requires a big enough field so that you CAN hide banshees behind a serpent, and I have to eyeball distances so I don't leave them stranded 7 or 8 inches away from an enemy because I couldn't fleet far enough.

Fifth is stick Guardians or DAs or something in the serpent and say, Throne curse it, you Banshees are gonna run for it.

If you're 18 inches away that's easy to get into assault. You can disembark almost 3 inches from the hatch, move six, fleet and assault six. Then the enemy piles in you should be able to get everyone into assault as long as you don't poop pants the fleet roll.

I use the first strategy you mentioned, move flat out, wait a turn and then get out. Then your serpent is getting a cover save and melta guns aren't a serious threat due to the force field.

I wouldn't even chance the 3" Fleet roll. Get up around 14" away from the enemy, but make sure they can't just run 6" in the other direction. You play Eldar, so I'm sure you can handle setting that up. Just don't play like a mon'keigh.

Usually my opponents don't run from my banshees. My biggest worry is they destroy the tank- As long as I REMEMBER about the cover save it should help against lascannons and the like but every so often it gets powerfisted. And by every so often, I think I've dumped Banshees successfully twice.

My biggest fear is they block rear armor and blow the thing up, killing the people inside. Much as the tank costs it should come with land raider assault ramps.

You get emergency disembarkation.

Darkhound is right--you want about 14".

Protect your back hatch with a vyper or two parked 1.5 inches behind the serpent (leaves clearance for you to get out if they're immobilized, but enemy models can't move between them).

Also you should already have a farseer in your serpent with the banshees anyway, or nearby, to doom your target. So fortune the serpent before you go flat-out to get a reroll on your cover save.

Banshees in a serpent aren't the uber unit they used to be, though. If you manage to get them into HtH, they'll kill what they charge, but then your problems have just begun.

Wait, in theory I could give the Banshees the Farseer... It'd feel weird and the Warlocks would have to go elsewhere but I could attach her to whatever unit I want.

You do have to watch out if you get to close to a big unit once you've turboboosted, they can block the exit and force you to move the wave serpent to get out and therefore delay your assault.

If you have problems delivering them, why would you use them? Put something shooty in there, the points of a Bansheesquad allow for almost anything. DA or Dragons recommended imo as they fit what Banshees would do too (in some kind of way at least)
Thus you can disembark and fire at the distance without having to make it through an enemy's turn of fire.