Three Reported Missing After Animal Rights Activists Take "War on Leather" to Motorcycle Gang Rally.

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**Frazzled**

Three Reported Missing After Animal Rights Activists Take "War on Leather" to Motorcycle Gang Rally.

Pennsylvania - ~Three Reported Missing After Animal Rights Activists Take "War on Leather" to Motorcycle Gang Rally.~

Johnstown, PA: Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials.

"Something just went wrong," said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. "Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong."

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, "growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats," decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event "in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats." "In fact," said the organizer. "Motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it... Ergo, they should stop."

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960's era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting "you're murderers" to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

"They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!"

"I... I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket. And, he... he didn't even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, 'You can't prove that.' Next thing I know is he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and not left me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman."

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers "farted on their heads."

Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed "surprise" at the allegations.

"That's preposterous," said on high ranking member of the biker organizing committee. "We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome."

When confronted with the allegations of force feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the organizer declined to comment in detail. "That's just our secret handshake," assured the organizer.

**Bookwrack**

Weekly World News?

**Da Boss**

I totally believed this was true until halfway in. Well done!

**IvanTih**

I would like to wear a fur coat,bolt pistol replica and an axe.When the animal friends mob would spray something I would charge at them screaming BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!

**Frazzled**

Da Boss wrote:I totally believed this was true until halfway in. Well done!

**warpcrafter**

Stooopid hippies need to be taught a lesson. Any halfway intelligent person knows you don't antagonize bikers. Have they never watch even a single episode of Sons of Anarchy?

**SilverMK2**

Entertaining

**FITZZ**

Y'know theirs just certian things that it's very unwise to do around bikers,showing up with some PC agenda would come in just under kicking their Harleys.

**Emperors Faithful**

Okay, Fraz, I admit it. You got me. It was worth it though. Especially the organizers statement.

**Frazzled**

Emperors Faithful wrote:Okay, Fraz, I admit it. You got me. It was worth it though. Especially the organizers statement.

**Platuan4th**

Do they still make WWN? I haven't been able to find it anywhere for years, so I assumed they went under.

**chromedog**

I have a biker clubhouse around the corner from me.
One day, some particularly brain-dead smackies decided to climb the wall into the place (there were 4 harlies parked outside, so the dudes were home) in order to break in and steal stuff to feed their habits.

The police got a delivery of two slightly beaten up smackies.

Otherwise, the local boys are quite peaceable.

**HellsGuardian316**

lol, very amusing

**Gornall**

I missed that episode of Sons of Anarchy

**Kid_Kyoto**

Platuan4th wrote:Do they still make WWN? I haven't been able to find it anywhere for years, so I assumed they went under.

yeah closed down, I think they might have a website.

**warpcrafter**

chromedog wrote:I have a biker clubhouse around the corner from me.
One day, some particularly brain-dead smackies decided to climb the wall into the place (there were 4 harlies parked outside, so the dudes were home) in order to break in and steal stuff to feed their habits.

The police got a delivery of two slightly beaten up smackies.

Otherwise, the local boys are quite peaceable.

Smackies?

**Gornall**

I'm assuming druggies.

**Redbeard**

Excellent. Stupid hippy tree-huggers.

**Cryonicleech**

What tipped me off that this was a conjecture was the speech of the hippies.

The quotes seemed too erroneous for a proper journalist to have written.

Regardless, TAKE THAT HIPPIES!

**Waaagh_Gonads**

Looked like it was from the Onion.

In saying that, holding PETA protesters down and farting on their heads sounds like a pretty good way to spend a day.

**garret**

Thats funny.
Only an idiot like them animal right people would mess with bikers.

**Drk_Oblitr8r**

LOL

**Albatross**

Yeah, stupid ethical treatment of animals...

Boo! Stupid tree-huggers! Who needs trees anyway?

Stupid oxygen...

**Shadowbrand**

Go bikers!!!

**Zad Fnark**

Before anyone gets too serious, here's the link...

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i66233

ZF-

**Lord-Loss**

That was hilarious.

**FITZZ**

Albatross wrote:Yeah, stupid ethical treatment of animals...

Boo! Stupid tree-huggers! Who needs trees anyway?

Stupid oxygen...

I LOLed.
So hard that this time I dropped my ciggarette.

**Pipboy101**

I wonder if they heard before being thrown into the dumpster, "Leather is dead and now you are too." What the

were they thinking. It is not like you are taking on runway models or the ultra-guy fashion designers. Those rallies have enough guns to take over Paris.

**Altered_Soul**

Pipboy101 wrote:Those rallies have enough guns to take over Paris.

They didn't have any?

**FITZZ**

Altered_Soul wrote:
Pipboy101 wrote:Those rallies have enough guns to take over Paris.

They didn't have any?

Two .22 pistols (no ammo) and a bag of rocks?