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I got some news today.

On the very same date that I am throwing my 30th Birthday Bash (The Blackadder's 80's Cheesebox Explosion) it turns out my Cousin Jenni is getting married.

Which sucks, as I am now facing familial pressure to postpone my big bash just so I can go and attend this one (missed Cousin Judith's wedding because some tart at work wouldn't shift her holiday, even though she was spending it at home).

At the risk of sounding a bit whingey and Emo, I am not happy about this. My 18th sucked, because I had to work, and I got bugger all for it. My 21st sucked, because Mumsie Grotsnik was turning 50, and without really consulting your's truly, arranged a joint '71st' which basically meant loads of her friends, and none of mine. But not this time. Oh no. I am not waiting for my 50th just to finally be the big birthday boy on my own. Not on your nelly, smelly.

Am I being unreasonable, or am I perfectly justified in telling the family to knob off on this occasion? (P.S. I have already paid to have my Blackadder Costume made!)

Perfectly fine to put yourself first every once in a while.

Thing is, I can now expect precisely 0% of my extended family to attend my own.

I cannot shift my Birthday, Jenni CAN shift her wedding. Stupid mare. How dare she!

Seriosuly, just the other day I was thinking 'hmmm..another Milestone birthday. How is this going to get fethed up?'

I had to ask!

This is why Family is a bad idea.

Good thing absolutely NONE of my family even likes me anymore.

You could, ya know, have the party on a different day. Birthdays are meaningless imo. I didn't do anything for my 18th or 21st and I haven't really cared either.

Turn her wedding into your birthday party. That'll learn her good.

Can't change the date.

DJ and venue are booked and paid for (did that in June, about a year in advance) and I've already paid for my costume.

Birthdays are not meaningless. Big Bro had an awesome 18th, Cousin Judith had an awesome 21st (her boyfriend proposed, and 7 years down the line they are now married and expecting their firstborn in the next few months).

Seriously, for my 18th, I got a horrendous hangover, a crap telly, and a Wedding to work. My 21st I got sod all for, and I'm sick of it! All I want is one special day out of, erm...10,498 to myself (minus two because it's the 31st, which is a Monday, so I picked the Saturday before). It's not much to ask, but I can't even see my fething Parents now. How much does that suck?

So... you're pretty much fethed then?

Gwar! wrote:Good thing absolutely NONE of my family even likes me anymore.

That's going in my sig. Thanks for brightening my entire year, Gwar!!!

I think its perfectly reasonable that you would rather have you party than go to a wedding especially considering your horrible luck with your other milestone birthdays. Plus like you said, you've already booked and paid for it, go and enjoy it.

Just have your party. Weddings are boring unless it is yours.

Go to the wedding in a StarFleet uniform in protest.

Man that sucks. I have had horrible b'days for the past couple of years. Year before last, 2 of my friends turned up, despite calling all 8 the night before, making sure they were coming which they all said they were. Last year, only one of my friends could come, so I just cancelled.

Screw the family, this is YOUR party damnit!
But seriously, that's really messed up. Bad 18th AND 21st? This time it's all about you. Plus, Blackadder! Who needs family when you've got Edmund Blackadder?

I'd say if it's all bought and paid for go for it! It's your day and besides - your family will still be there for you afterward - they're stuck with you

Presumably the wedding is in the afternoon and the birthday party is in the evening, so go to both!

I'm with you, MDG. Stuff 'em and do your own thing.

This year, my 4th wedding anniversary. My wife busted up her ankle in 2007, and it wasn't fixed until 2008 (late) and then most of '09 was rehab and suchlike, so we never really got anniversary vacations/trips those years (when you're stuck in a wheelchair, it limits your activities somewhat). Some friends are 'demanding' that we attend their sprog's 1st birthday instead of going off to sunny tropical climes. (Well, asking, but that's just polite demanding.). Stuff it, our hols already booked and paid for.

My 18th sucked, I didn't have a 21st, my 30th was pretty lame, but my 42nd is going to be an SF geekfest.

I don't care who else in my family has something else on that day. If they don't come, fine. Most of my friends are geeky enough that they get the significance of it- and the free booze and cake will entice them anyway.

Have your party.

Invite your friends.

Family can do their own thing.

I assume you picked the date first (if you booked it a year out). If so she can change the date.

If forced to go to wedding go as a furry.

chromedog wrote:My 18th sucked, I didn't have a 21st, my 30th was pretty lame, but my 42nd is going to be an SF geekfest.

That's the way to do it!

Make sure there is a cake! A cake Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, real "wow, that's big," time. A Cake that is just so big that, by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here!


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Waaagh_Gonads wrote:If forced to go to wedding go as a furry.

This gets my vote. And make sure it isn't a PG13 Furry either!

If they booked the date knowing it happened on your birthday and knowing that it would be easy for them to change "their" wedding day without fuss then feth them, they don't care about your birthday so why give a damn about theirs!!??

Saying that, I'm bias because I hate birthdays anyway, especially my own. But seeing that you "do" like birthdays I'd celebrate it just out of pirnciple and to spite them. And stuff the family for going along with it.

I wouldnt say your being unreasonable, but arent you being a bit pedantic?

I mean, speaking for me and my circle of friends, men generally dont care about these sort of things do they?

I dont think im a particularly manly man, but i dont give a gak about parties me.. i dont think ive ever had one. I was 30 a few months back, and it was just like any other weekend, we all got pissed, so i dont really think im missing out!

Weddings and parties and such are more girly pursuits as far as im concerned. All we men do at birthday parties is get leathered, and we do that 2-3 days a week anyway.

Ive not known many blokes be concerned about these things, but ultimately if you are bothered, just do what makes you happy. Your family are stuck with you, so im sure they will forgive ANYTHING anyway, let alone telling them to bugger off cos you want to get pissed with your mates.

It's an excuse to get wasted and have a good time with his mates.

Not unreasonable at all, considering that it seems that his birthdays get coopted or he's had to work on them.

Ask them to rearrange there wedding.

Hmm get wasted at the party and hit on the brides maids? Or

Again tell your cousin your concerns. I would bet should can atleast.

If you go to the wedding, add something to the punch.

Feth the family. Go, have fun on your birthday bash. What are you missing at the wedding, anyway? A few hours in an uncomfortable suit, maybe some half-decent food (Depending on their catering service) and perhaps catching up with relatives you barely know.

In all seriousness though, I'd really just talk to your cousin. Let her know that you'd rather be with your friends on your birthday - no offense, but it's a milestone birthday for you, and the next one's not for 20 years. Send her a nice gift to say congratulations, and let her know you're really sorry about missing it, but everything is already booked up tight and can't be changed. Throw in something about the next available date being a few months down the line, and she should understand. After all, you're just one guest at the wedding, not someone who was planning on giving a huge toast or was invited to be the best man or anything.

Oh, and despite what the other bozos on the forums are saying, don't take revenge if you absolutely have to go to the wedding. It's just immature and petty to take things out on your cousin because she scheduled her wedding on the same day as your bash. Try to have a good time, and see if you can't change the date of the party for sometime down the line. But don't just get wasted and hit on bridesmaids, or dress up really goofy (Although Starfleet dress uniform would probably get a few laughs if anybody knows what it is).

Cousins count as close family now? oops. There's a few birthdays cards we've missed.

Surely they would have known that they were organising their wedding over your 30th?

If so then you shouldn't be expected to go to the wedding of some people who disregarded your wishes.

That'll teach me to post half pissed. Forgot to mention that her Wedding is Oop North somewhere near Newcastle, I'm in Kent, and the only time I've seen her in the past, erm...15ish years was 2 years ago at my Step-Grans funeral.

Lordy my family piss me off. No beef with Jenni, as she's unlikely to remember my Birthday, but Mum and Dad have seriously got my goat with this one.

My mum doesn't remember my birthday (which is on Tuesday if anyone cares ;()

Mate, who invites family to their birthday party? You aren't 5 years old are you? Just invite your mates, and don't change your plans at all. Weddings of distant relatives, be damned!