Switch Theme:

Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature  [RSS] Share on facebook Share on Twitter Submit to Reddit
»
Author Message
Advert


Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:
  • No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
  • Times and dates in your local timezone.
  • Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
  • Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
  • Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.
If you are already a member then feel free to login now.




Made in gb
Ridin' on a Snotling Pump Wagon






 Kid_Kyoto wrote:
Bloodshot

A 2020 Vin Diesel superhero film based on the Valiant comic. It's hard to say if it disappeared due to COVID or from being mediocre but it vanished down the memory hole until the Netflix algorithm coughed it up for me.

The opening is a string of cliches, Vin is a super duper special forces dude whose wife is murdered by a terrorist/serial killer/bad dude and then he's killed. But he is rebuilt by an Evil Corporation given superpowers. He escapes and hunts down the Bad Guy.

But then the twist! The wife, the psycho, all are false memories to motivate him to kill Evil Co's rivals. Mr Evil even points out what a cliche the opening was.

And then it's by the numbers, recover true memories, turn against Evil Co, kill Mr Evil, gets the girl. Comic relief sidekick even points out this such a cliche are they sure it's not another simulation? Fade to black.

The twist was good, even if it led to d!ck joke. If they'd revealed the final scene was in fact another Evil Co sim I'd have been impressed. Otherwise, as forgettable as it was forgotten.

And worth noting... Evil Co? You invented technology that. (checks notes) revives the dead, makes them immortal and unkillable, and gives super powers, and can rewrite memories and your grand plan for that tech is (checks notes) sell super soldiers to the army?

Guys? How is that more useful than say, selling it to people to make them immortal and unkillable? If you think this is a good plan I've got a Bloodshot movie to sell you.


I watched that today too.

I wish I hadn’t.

   
Made in gb
Legendary Dogfighter





England

If they want to expand the fast franchise even more, how about getting that one guy from the first film that they have never mentioned since, and have him in a street racing film?
Or a prison break when we find out he was the one guy they caught and he's been in jail this whole time.

it's the quiet ones you have to look out for. Their the ones that change the world, the loud ones just take the credit for it. 
   
Made in us
Nasty Nob




Crescent City Fl..

The pope's exorcist- 2023.
We enjoyed it. It looked like Russell Crowe enjoyed himself a fair bit.

For some reason this movie, something about it, kept reminding me of Lucy daughter of the Devil.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2023/06/01 12:26:38


Sigh, Yet another doomed attempt by man to bridge the gap between the material and spiritual worlds 
   
Made in au
Owns Whole Set of Skullz Techpriests






Versteckt in den Schatten deines Geistes.

 Tamereth wrote:
If they want to expand the fast franchise even more, how about getting that one guy from the first film that they have never mentioned since, and have him in a street racing film?
Or a prison break when we find out he was the one guy they caught and he's been in jail this whole time.
You joke, but the 5th film see's a character not seen since the 1st film show up, and in the 6th film they have to infiltrate a jail where a character from the 4th film is to get information.

This is what I mean about Fast 9 being them just doing everything people have said about since the start, up to and including them going to space. Also means that they don't have that nonsense hanging over them for the remainder of the series. No more articles about "When will the Fast series finally go into space?" because they've done it.

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2023/06/01 01:45:28


Industrial Insanity - My Terrain Blog
"GW really needs to understand 'Less is more' when it comes to AoS." - Wha-Mu-077

 
   
Made in gb
Ridin' on a Snotling Pump Wagon






But, and I mean this sincerely, has anyone jumped a shark yet? Because I get the feeling if any movie series can get away with such a scene, it’s this one.

   
Made in de
Huge Bone Giant






 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Spoiler:
 Kid_Kyoto wrote:
Bloodshot

A 2020 Vin Diesel superhero film based on the Valiant comic. It's hard to say if it disappeared due to COVID or from being mediocre but it vanished down the memory hole until the Netflix algorithm coughed it up for me.

The opening is a string of cliches, Vin is a super duper special forces dude whose wife is murdered by a terrorist/serial killer/bad dude and then he's killed. But he is rebuilt by an Evil Corporation given superpowers. He escapes and hunts down the Bad Guy.

But then the twist! The wife, the psycho, all are false memories to motivate him to kill Evil Co's rivals. Mr Evil even points out what a cliche the opening was.

And then it's by the numbers, recover true memories, turn against Evil Co, kill Mr Evil, gets the girl. Comic relief sidekick even points out this such a cliche are they sure it's not another simulation? Fade to black.

The twist was good, even if it led to d!ck joke. If they'd revealed the final scene was in fact another Evil Co sim I'd have been impressed. Otherwise, as forgettable as it was forgotten.

And worth noting... Evil Co? You invented technology that. (checks notes) revives the dead, makes them immortal and unkillable, and gives super powers, and can rewrite memories and your grand plan for that tech is (checks notes) sell super soldiers to the army?

Guys? How is that more useful than say, selling it to people to make them immortal and unkillable? If you think this is a good plan I've got a Bloodshot movie to sell you.


I watched that today too.

I wish I hadn’t.


Ah, Bloodshot. Just yesterday I barely refrained from posting to call it the movie you wish you hadn't seen. But I keep getting tempted and my will is only so strong.

I was done with the movie when the professional soldier discovered that he can just beat people to death with his bare hands instead of saving time and effort by using firearms like normal people.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
But, and I mean this sincerely, has anyone jumped a shark yet? Because I get the feeling if any movie series can get away with such a scene, it’s this one.


It seems to me that shark movies have become more more popular in recent years. If ever there was a time...

Bonus points for Jason Statham playing both Shaw from Rapidos y Furiosos and Jonas from The Meg in the same movie.

Nehekhara lives! Sort of!
Why is the rum always gone? 
   
Made in au
Owns Whole Set of Skullz Techpriests






Versteckt in den Schatten deines Geistes.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
But, and I mean this sincerely, has anyone jumped a shark yet? Because I get the feeling if any movie series can get away with such a scene, it’s this one.
Literally, no. Figuratively, you could argue several times over (including the dam stunt at the end of Fast X). But the Fast series has, over time, made itself immune to such things.

If there was a literal definition of "unstoppable force", the Fast series would be it.

Industrial Insanity - My Terrain Blog
"GW really needs to understand 'Less is more' when it comes to AoS." - Wha-Mu-077

 
   
Made in gb
Ridin' on a Snotling Pump Wagon






I feel they’re missing a trick 🤣🤣

   
Made in us
Battlefield Tourist




MN (Currently in WY)

I stumbled upon S13 of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 on some random channel where they just stream MST3K back-to-back-to-back.

In Season 13, the new host is Holly and she is joined by the Bots. However, they are all voiced by different folks I think. Kinga and her sidekick (Patton Oswald) are still there doing their thing.

The movie was the Charles Band pre-MCU NOT-Dr. Strange movie Doctor Mordid which stars Jeffrey Combs. I had seen the movie before without the bots, so settled in to get their take. As usual, the "skits" are not great, but some of the one-liners are true crowd pleasers, the longer you watch the funnier it gets.

I won't go out of my way to find more of S13, but if I run into it I also won't turn it off! After watching S12 - The Gauntlet with my family; my wife has put her foot down and will not watch more with me. It is not her thing.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2023/06/01 14:59:40


Support Blood and Spectacles Publishing:
https://www.patreon.com/Bloodandspectaclespublishing 
   
Made in us
Legendary Master of the Chapter





SoCal

Was The Gauntlet the episode where they watched Mac And Me? I laughed so hard at that, yet my wife was horrified (by Mac), so we’re in a similar boat.

   
Made in us
Battlefield Tourist




MN (Currently in WY)

I honestly do not recall, but the internet tells me that Mac and Me was the first of the 6 episode run.

Jonah was the main host for the entire The Gauntlet experience IIRC.

Support Blood and Spectacles Publishing:
https://www.patreon.com/Bloodandspectaclespublishing 
   
Made in gb
Ridin' on a Snotling Pump Wagon






That’s a show I’ve never got on with.

I do get it’s appeal, but it’s creators should be aware I’m entirely capable of ripping the piss out of crap films all on my own

Doesn’t mean the show is worthless of course. Just it feels superfluous to my own peculiar needs. And I’ll happily concede they may spot stupid, laughable stuff I missed!

   
Made in gb
Ridin' on a Snotling Pump Wagon






Stitches

Ross Noble stars as a killer clown.

Not original. But funny, and well, aha, executed. Excellent gore, witty enough one liners. Even the young cast are largely likeable!

   
Made in gb
Longtime Dakkanaut



London

Voss wrote:
D&D movie (Honor among thieves)

Flaccid.

Just... underwhelmed entirely by it. It was entirely tropes from beginning to end, all played exactly by the book. The actors were playing meat puppets with 2-3 character traits (rather than fleshed out characters), riding in a straight line through boring (and fake looking) landscapes, and a bizarrely unimaginative standard plot with a scattering of creature cameos.


Everyone I know that has seen it, like it or not, agrees fat dragon was the best bit.
   
Made in us
Nasty Nob




Crescent City Fl..

Guardians 3 .
I don't know if I enjoyed it or not, it hit similar notes as the previous two but I didn't enjoy the fight scenes much at all. The one in the big ship near the end just felt really mechanical and very much like a bad cut scene from a game. Not overly impressed I guess.

Sigh, Yet another doomed attempt by man to bridge the gap between the material and spiritual worlds 
   
Made in gb
Executing Exarch





Been house sitting for Sis so no PC so binged D+ like a madman


Terminator Dark Fate

Some how worse than Genisys, 1/10

Nightmare Alley

Interesting slice of Noir from Del Toro, excellent cast with a very dark unsettling tale of woo=woo peddling and humans general awfulness 8/10

Shape of Water

You want Deep One hybrids, this is how you get them, not really my cuppa of team but well made and quality turns from all the cast 7/10

Lightyear

Stunningly average, felt like a big budget version of the spin off cartoon 5/10

Deadpool 2

Because of course removing the one redeeming feature of the first one early on meant it wasn't going to be a good time for me as the forced kookiness is really grating 4/10



This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2023/06/03 07:36:25


"AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED." 
   
Made in au
Owns Whole Set of Skullz Techpriests






Versteckt in den Schatten deines Geistes.

Plane - Dakka/10
Gerard Bulter plays a man with an aggressively stupid fake movie/TV show name (Brodie Torrance) who is a pilot of a low-rated airline on a small flight, going to visit his daughter who is in Hawaii. On the way there the plane is struck by lightning and they lose power, forcing them to do an emergency landing on an island in the Philippines (or Indonesia... I wasn't 100% on that). But it's an island held by separatist forces to take, random and execute foreigners, so he has to team up Mike Colter, a convict (and ex-French Foreign Legionnaire) who was on his plane being extradited for a murder he committed 15 years ago.

There's nothing too complex about this film. It's pretty simple from start to finish, with decent action ("Brodie" is not a super-hero super agent - he can handle himself, but he's not some secret navy seal or anything stupid like that), and a satisfying ending. The plane scenes are pretty tense.

Air - Shoes/10
The second film in our One Word Title Double Feature is the Amazon movie Air, about Nike signing Michael Jordan and inventing a shoe for him. It's a very funny film, exceptionally well acted, and really quite good from start to finish. I'd recommend everyone see it. Also interesting is that they never really show young Jordan, he's either just out of frame, in near darkness, has his back to the camera, has maybe one line of dialogue (over the phone), and he really isn't a character in this because he is this larger than life figure. It was an interesting choice. Cast is great.

 Turnip Jedi wrote:
Lightyear

Stunningly average, felt like a big budget version of the spin off cartoon 5/10
The strangest part about Lightyear is that it begins with a title card saying that Andy, from Toy Story, saw a Buzz Lightyear film when he was a kid and that this film was that movie. I don't think most kids of Andy's age circa Toy Story 1 would have much fun with a movie as dour and serious as Lightyear. Seems that neither did anyone else, given how badly the movie did.


Industrial Insanity - My Terrain Blog
"GW really needs to understand 'Less is more' when it comes to AoS." - Wha-Mu-077

 
   
Made in us
Legendary Master of the Chapter





SoCal

Pitch Black

This was a pretty cool Sci Fi action flick back in the day. The monster effects aren’t great, but for me it didn’t matter due to the story telling and acting. I’d sum up with “it still holds up, check it out” if it weren’t for the Vin Diesel of it all.

In retrospect, this comes across as a Vin Diesel vanity film (complete with black tank top), wherein he is the edgy badass the whole film circles around, to the point that when he isn’t on screen everyone is asking, “where’s Vin Diesel?” I don’t know if he had his famous ego back in the day, or if this was its origin story. Either way, this adds a layer of fascination to the movie that makes it a must watch.


Sharnado: The 4th Awakens

Whichever kid is smashing together toys in the writers’ room has just discovered Star Wars and superhero movies. The writing is still at the Itchy-and-Scratchy level of ridiculously stupid violence, but this has a lot more reference humor than the previous movie, rather than pure absurdity. There aren’t as many great deadpan line readings, either. I’d rate is as still hilarious, but not up to the redonkulous finale of the previous film.


Clue

This is a classic. I can’t be objective about this film. I love it soooo much, it…laughs. Laughs on the side of my face. Heaving,,, breathless heaving..


Automatically Appended Next Post:
While I don’t think we’d agree on the politics or casting of Lightyear, I think we’re on the same page that child Andy would never have sat through that film, and certainly wouldn’t have wanted the toy.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2023/06/03 16:58:45


   
Made in de
Servoarm Flailing Magos




Germany

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:

Clue

This is a classic. I can’t be objective about this film. I love it soooo much, it…laughs. Laughs on the side of my face. Heaving,,, breathless heaving..


Automatically Appended Next Post:
While I don’t think we’d agree on the politics or casting of Lightyear, I think we’re on the same page that child Andy would never have sat through that film, and certainly wouldn’t have wanted the toy.


If you like Clue, you'll probably like the lesser-known Murder by Death, a black comedy that relies on the conceit of getting a bunch of stand-ins for well-known detectives from literature and movies together at an isolated country house, on invitation by a maniac who wants them to determine who is the best among them - or die in the process. I find it humorous enough, although it needs to be said that it's weirdly racist in places, mostly due to some of the parodied detectives being laden with racist clichees in the original material, but still, some of the jokes did not age that well. I watched it in the german translation first, which adds another layer of abstraction and comedy, as some of the punchlines etc. were translated rather freely (read weird monkey-cheese non-sequiturs) as it was customary at the time.
   
Made in us
Legendary Master of the Chapter





SoCal

I want to see Murder By Death, but when we finally sat down to watch it, the trailer started playing, including some of the racist humor, and my wife overruled the film. We don’t want our son to accidentally get in trouble for repeating a “funny joke” at school. And Ernest Goes to Africa was really painfully awkward to watch and then discuss afterwards.

Hopefully we’ll get to see it in a couple years, when judgement has matured a bit more.


I’m also on the lookout for Haunted Honeymoon, which I remember feeling somewhat similar in tone, but can’t find it anywhere.

   
Made in au
Owns Whole Set of Skullz Techpriests






Versteckt in den Schatten deines Geistes.

So the next film you'll be watching is, I presume, Blazing Saddles?

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2023/06/03 17:53:17


Industrial Insanity - My Terrain Blog
"GW really needs to understand 'Less is more' when it comes to AoS." - Wha-Mu-077

 
   
Made in us
Legendary Master of the Chapter





SoCal

 H.B.M.C. wrote:
So the next film you'll be watching is, I presume, Blazing Saddles?



I think we’ve already seen it. Either way, we find there’s an important distinction between movies that find racism funny and movies that make fun of racism. Blazing Saddles is in the latter category, whereas EGTA was in the first category. Big difference.

   
Made in de
Servoarm Flailing Magos




Germany

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
I want to see Murder By Death, but when we finally sat down to watch it, the trailer started playing, including some of the racist humor, and my wife overruled the film. We don’t want our son to accidentally get in trouble for repeating a “funny joke” at school. And Ernest Goes to Africa was really painfully awkward to watch and then discuss afterwards.

Hopefully we’ll get to see it in a couple years, when judgement has matured a bit more.


I’m also on the lookout for Haunted Honeymoon, which I remember feeling somewhat similar in tone, but can’t find it anywhere.


Understandable, and probably the right call. The movie relies pretty heavily on the audience being familiar with the whole Whodunnit genre, and some of the specific detectives, for its humour, so somebody who is not at least passingly familiar with e.g. Miss Marple, Hercule Poirot or various hard-boiled detectives will probably don't find it that funny anyway, so it's definitely more geared toward older audiences.
   
Made in us
Legendary Master of the Chapter





SoCal

None of us are familiar with those characters or the genre in any depth.

   
Made in de
Servoarm Flailing Magos




Germany

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
None of us are familiar with those characters or the genre in any depth.


Then i recommend you skip that movie, it will either bore you to death or about 75% of the jokes will go over your head. Combined with the other problems, there's not really any reason for you to watch it, you can probably enjoy your time much better with other fare.
   
Made in us
Legendary Master of the Chapter





SoCal

I still want to see it. Sometimes movies that aren’t “for” me open my eyes to new opportunities. But maybe I’ll wait until the others are asleep and watch it on my own.

   
Made in gb
Longtime Dakkanaut



London

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
Pitch Black

This was a pretty cool Sci Fi action flick back in the day. The monster effects aren’t great, but for me it didn’t matter due to the story telling and acting. I’d sum up with “it still holds up, check it out” if it weren’t for the Vin Diesel of it all.

In retrospect, this comes across as a Vin Diesel vanity film (complete with black tank top), wherein he is the edgy badass the whole film circles around, to the point that when he isn’t on screen everyone is asking, “where’s Vin Diesel?” I don’t know if he had his famous ego back in the day, or if this was its origin story. Either way, this adds a layer of fascination to the movie that makes it a must watch.


Its a great B movie up until the point there is too much diesel, culminating in him trying to do his Khhhaaannn moment.
   
Made in gb
Ridin' on a Snotling Pump Wagon






Hawk the Slayer

Not without its charms. They’re just…..really dubious charms.

The acting is awful, the plots cheesy. The effects, such as they are, laughable.

The soundtrack is probably the best thing about it, and even then only because it’s cheesy post-disco cheapness.

Yet….it still appeals. Against all sense you still get a largely enjoyable bit of nonsense.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Expendables 2

I did watch the first, but commenting on this one as I feel it’s when the series was at its dubious best.

All-Star-Of-Yesteryear-Cast. Everyone seems to be having a good time and delivering perfectly acceptable performances.

The action is a pleasing mix of Action Silly Tropes, and fairly decent restraint - finite ammo, short controlled bursts, but also some gratutious “I think he’s dead already” daftness.

Jean Claude Van Damme shows a taste for the scenery as the villain named…erm…Vilain. Chuck Norris cameos in a fairly cringe inducing scene. Terry Crews is of course Bonus Points.

As a movie equivalent of a Rock Super Group Album, this absolutely delivers. It doesn’t try to be something it was never going to be. Instead focusing on “what made our heyday movies fun”. Whilst also poking fun at its own genre.

Lovely stuff.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2023/06/04 20:12:55


   
Made in at
Buttons Should Be Brass, Not Gold!





Vienna, Austria

MST3k - Love it. Haven't seen a single episode of the new seasons, but since they seem to be on the youtube channels which show mst3k all day....maybe worth looking into that.

Murder by Death is great fun. Funny thing - Pretty sure Clue is WAY less known than Murder by Death 'round here.

Expendables 2 - Uhm. I was okay with it. Back then I loved the first film, the second left me colder, and I assume I wouldn't like the 1st one any more as much either. Norris was weird in that film, but the one thing I won't forgive is that of all the Chuck Norris jokes he could have told he steals one from William Riker!?

   
Made in au
Owns Whole Set of Skullz Techpriests






Versteckt in den Schatten deines Geistes.

I felt the first Expandables film was a largely joyless exercise, and the third suffers from them not being a group for most of the film (and trying to introduce "younger" people), even if Antonio Banderas is fantastic in it.

The second film though? That's where all the elements were right. Fantastic action, fun villain, good characters, and they're having fun doing it.

Industrial Insanity - My Terrain Blog
"GW really needs to understand 'Less is more' when it comes to AoS." - Wha-Mu-077

 
   
 
Forum Index » Geek Media
Go to: