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Like most of the Dakka patrons, I am a nerd. But i tend to keep that fact hidden from potential girlfriends.
How do i tell the girl i play 40k? I've unsuccessfully tried to convey what 40k is to two previous girls who both said:
"haha it's cute" and i replied: "WOMAN, I AM NURGLE'S HERALD!!!! HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME!!!" which was received with giggles.
SO... how do i tell the girl without making a fool of myself?

Lazarus the Necrotic wrote:Like most of the Dakka patrons, I am a nerd. But i tend to keep that fact hidden from potential girlfriends.
How do i tell the girl i play 40k? I've unsuccessfully tried to convey what 40k is to two previous girls who both said:
"haha it's cute" and i replied: "WOMAN, I AM NURGLE'S HERALD!!!! HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME!!!" which was received with giggles.
SO... how do i tell the girl without making a fool of myself?

Not saying: "WOMAN, I AM NURGLE'S HERALD!!!! HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME!!!" would be a great start.

Try having her ask you...by that I mean,when she is at your home (I'm assuming you two don't cohabitate yet),sit back and paint a mini...when she ask (and she most likely will).."what's that"?,explain it's a mini in a game you play.
From there just graduly "introduce" her to 40k as "your hobby".

Just leave out one of your best models when she comes over, if they ask you about it just tell them its for a game and if they show any more interest then you have a new thing to talk about
If they ignore it or ask politely and dont show interest then dont bring it up, she will know you play from the models.

If she laughs at you or leaves you for playing 40k then she isnt someone you want to be with anyway.

I have one solution you can try OP.

Walk by the GW together with her , see her reactions.
If she didnt notice it , stop by at the display window and see what she says.

Hrmmmmmm..... Maybe you need an equal of yourself like I do...., or maybe tone it down by saying: "I like board games, and am very serious about it, and have went into the books and don't like it when people are wrong about the stories around it."




(edit:forgot the ending ")

Just say "I play wargames and I'm a nerd. If you don't like it don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you".

If she sticks around cool, if she insults you about it or tries to get you to stop playing than kick her to the curb.

Harsh but no woman, no matter who it is, is worth hiding things from or changing who you are out of fear of ridicule.

Fateweaver wrote:Just say "I play wargames and I'm a nerd. If you don't like it don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you".

If she sticks around cool, if she insults you about it or tries to get you to stop playing than kick her to the curb.

Harsh but no woman, no matter who it is, is worth hiding things from or changing who you are out of fear of ridicule.

You know Fate,I don't always agree with you...but when your right...your right.

I've done it with my gf's. Most girls know I play even before we take it to the next level.

I've never tried to get them to play. One did try it but one of the guys in our group (no longer plays with us) was a douche so that put her off real quick.

They've all understood Sat. night was my night. M-F I was theirs, Sat and Sunday (football on Sunday) was me, myself and I time.

Fateweaver wrote:I've done it with my gf's. Most girls know I play even before we take it to the next level.

I've never tried to get them to play. One did try it but one of the guys in our group (no longer plays with us) was a douche so that put her off real quick.

They've all understood Sat. night was my night. M-F I was theirs, Sat and Sunday (football on Sunday) was me, myself and I time.

Most of the women I've been involved with thought I was bizzare to begin with,spikey leather clothing,strange hair styles and colors,playing bass in various punk bands and generaly acting like I was insane most of the time....in general ,they saw painting and playing with little plastic men as almost "normal".

efarrer wrote:

Lazarus the Necrotic wrote:Like most of the Dakka patrons, I am a nerd. But i tend to keep that fact hidden from potential girlfriends.
How do i tell the girl i play 40k? I've unsuccessfully tried to convey what 40k is to two previous girls who both said:
"haha it's cute" and i replied: "WOMAN, I AM NURGLE'S HERALD!!!! HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME!!!" which was received with giggles.
SO... how do i tell the girl without making a fool of myself?

Not saying: "WOMAN, I AM NURGLE'S HERALD!!!! HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME!!!" would be a great start.

Yeah, saying your "a worshipper" of the god of desease is not a good way to get women to really want to touch you.

Pretty much what other people have said, leave one out and let her "find" it, like on a table ( " I must have forgotten to put him away after the game." ) or near your Xbox ( " I was using the Live Camera to show him to my friends and forgot to put him away." ). If she seems interested (and if she really likes you, she should at least be a little) just explain it like its no big deal.

My wife shares all of my Nerdy hobbies, except this one. I can deal with that.

My advice would be, if she doesn't like it, but likes everything else, go for it.

Unless, she ridicules you, then that's a different story. it's time for Das Boot then.


Hiding things is the worst thing you can do. Building a relationship, on that kind of foundation, is just setting yourself up for failure.

You shouldn't feel ashamed about your hobby, and she makes you feel that way, then she's just not the right person for you.

Usually when girlies come to my house they just see the mini's on my painting table and ask whats all this stuff. Typically the mini's get oks from them because of how they first come in the box and all the work one has to put in to make them look good. Some even ask to paint a few mini's.
On a side note, saying I'm a worshipper of a god in the game doesn't seem like the way to introduce the game to them.

FITZZ wrote:

Fateweaver wrote:I've done it with my gf's. Most girls know I play even before we take it to the next level.

I've never tried to get them to play. One did try it but one of the guys in our group (no longer plays with us) was a douche so that put her off real quick.

They've all understood Sat. night was my night. M-F I was theirs, Sat and Sunday (football on Sunday) was me, myself and I time.

Most of the women I've been involved with thought I was bizzare to begin with,spikey leather clothing,strange hair styles and colors,playing bass in various punk bands and generaly acting like I was insane most of the time....in general ,they saw painting and playing with little plastic men as almost "normal".

Whoa, I need to go to Geogria. (oh, if 'somebody' gets mad at me, I'm kidding)

lord of the ghosts wrote:

FITZZ wrote:

Fateweaver wrote:I've done it with my gf's. Most girls know I play even before we take it to the next level.

I've never tried to get them to play. One did try it but one of the guys in our group (no longer plays with us) was a douche so that put her off real quick.

They've all understood Sat. night was my night. M-F I was theirs, Sat and Sunday (football on Sunday) was me, myself and I time.

Most of the women I've been involved with thought I was bizzare to begin with,spikey leather clothing,strange hair styles and colors,playing bass in various punk bands and generaly acting like I was insane most of the time....in general ,they saw painting and playing with little plastic men as almost "normal".

Whoa, I need to go to Geogria. (oh, if 'somebody' gets mad at me, I'm kidding)

I've only lived in Georgia for 3 years,I was born and raised in New Orleans...and we are all a bit "strange" there.

FITZZ wrote:

lord of the ghosts wrote:

FITZZ wrote:

Fateweaver wrote:I've done it with my gf's. Most girls know I play even before we take it to the next level.

I've never tried to get them to play. One did try it but one of the guys in our group (no longer plays with us) was a douche so that put her off real quick.

They've all understood Sat. night was my night. M-F I was theirs, Sat and Sunday (football on Sunday) was me, myself and I time.

Most of the women I've been involved with thought I was bizzare to begin with,spikey leather clothing,strange hair styles and colors,playing bass in various punk bands and generaly acting like I was insane most of the time....in general ,they saw painting and playing with little plastic men as almost "normal".

Whoa, I need to go to Geogria. (oh, if 'somebody' gets mad at me, I'm kidding)

I've only lived in Georgia for 3 years,I was born and raised in New Orleans...and we are all a bit "strange" there.

I second that(and am probably more living proof). Did you shop a Gargoyles too when you lived there?

@ Platuan4th

I shoped at a couple stores on Decatur...one was called Gnome... and another Bongos..but that was many years ago.
Hung out at Jauns flying burito,the saint,Aunt tikkis,the Abbey.

Due to cramped living conditions my living room/dining room/entryway/hobby room are all the same room. When people come over they are usually very curious (yet not hostile) towards my nerdy addiction.

corpsesarefun wrote:Just leave out one of your best models when she comes over, if they ask you about it just tell them its for a game and if they show any more interest then you have a new thing to talk about
If they ignore it or ask politely and don't show interest then don't bring it up, she will know you play from the models.

This sums up the rest of my response rather well. one Chips Ahoy! for you good sir.

I personally have always been fascinated by nerdboys and their hobbies. My big thing though was it seemed that they didn't want to include me. So maybe you will find a girl that just wants to be part of that too? (I suggested to my husband that we start this as a way to have a hobby together. we've only been doing it for a little while though. Maybe a month)

Seriously, show them to her and gauge her reaction. If she's not that into it and it's a big part of your life, you have to see what else she's into and where the common interests lie. I don't think you want a relationship like Leonard and Penny on Big Bang Theory where she isn't into anything nerdy at all.

Lazarus the Necrotic wrote: "WOMAN, I AM NURGLE'S HERALD!!!! HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME!!!"

This I like. Keep telling them this.

Stay true to yourself, mate, and you will develop a sense of non-overbearing confidence that is truly attractive. In my experience, liking 40k or any other dorky and/or geeky crap cannot stand in the way of such confidence. Being ashamed of what you like--and by extension, who you are--leads to behavior that will only serve to confirm stereotypes about people who like those things. SO, in short, there is no need "to break the news." It's not news and it certainly doesn't need breaking, as if it were telling someone that their grandma is ill or something.

I lost a girlfriend partly due to Warhammer once. She denies it now, but I distinctly recall its inclusion on the fairly extensive list of reasons for the break up.

We stayed good friends regardless and she has recently discovered that her latest boyfriend is a closet Warhammer nerd too.

Oh how I laughed when she told me.

Hide it. Keep it secret. Keep it safe.

It's not child porn. It's Grimdark tabletop wargaming.

I don't see why you have to 'break the news' - just carry on as normal, and if she happens to notice it just play it like 'it's just my hobby - no big deal'. I mean, most girls will be happy you don't spend your money on crack and strippers.

Wouldnt it depend how old he is and how old she is?
Lots of the responses so far treats her as if she is supposed to be married to OP -_-

Emperors Faithful wrote:Hide it. Keep it secret. Keep it safe.

Now I can go to sleep satisfied.

That's what SHE said.

Albatross wrote:It's not child porn. It's Grimdark tabletop wargaming.

I don't see why you have to 'break the news' - just carry on as normal, and if she happens to notice it just play it like 'it's just my hobby - no big deal'. I mean, most girls will be happy you don't spend your money on crack and strippers.

Same ex as I mentioned above had a friend whose boyfriend wouldn't let her look in a particular cupboard. Being female she looked when his back was turned (there's a lot of truth to the story of Pandora's Box) and phoned my ex in horror. "Was it porn?" asked my ex. "Worse!!!" replied her friend hysterically. "It was Warhammer!!!" However, the two are still together and are getting married this year I believe.

Which should go some way to addressing the OP's question. If it's true love, she won't mind. All that much. Really. Although she will subtly try to get you sell it all on ebay later when she gets pregnant and you need the money for baby stuff. Resist with all your might.

The best situation would be some wargamer dating Luna and sweating over how to "break the news" to her.

Lazarus the Necrotic wrote:Like most of the Dakka patrons, I am a nerd. But i tend to keep that fact hidden from potential girlfriends.
How do i tell the girl i play 40k? I've unsuccessfully tried to convey what 40k is to two previous girls who both said:
"haha it's cute" and i replied: "WOMAN, I AM NURGLE'S HERALD!!!! HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME!!!" which was received with giggles.
SO... how do i tell the girl without making a fool of myself?

You mean to tell me she -didn't- find that sexy? Man, what the hell does it take these days!? What woman doesn't love open, weeping sores and VD?

She did only giggle.

She could have puked or something. LOL.