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FearPeteySodes wrote:Two chicks at the same time

Righto!

That'll be two sumo-sized BFFs on their way over.

You can thank me in the morning.

Just don't have them both be on top, or you'll suffocate...


____

focusedfire wrote:Forcibly eject/exile every single lawyer, politician, and bueracrate from the earth with plenty of oxygen, water, a live video feed, but no food.

BoFH reader?

Anyhow, ur not doin' it rite - you forgot to give them a bucket...

If I were king of the world?

I guess I'd ban religion in favor of a couple simple rules
- be honest & faithful
- try not to kill anyone

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Two Chicks at the Same Time?

Your lack of ambition concerns me.....

I think he was referencing Office Space.

Other than two chicks at the same time, lets see. Whatever I feel like doing whenever I feel like doing it I guess.

Also, the Grand Conjuration by Opeth would be the panetary national anthem.

I would create the ultimate army.

They shall be my finest warriors, these men who give of themselves to me.

Like clay I shall mould them, and in the furnace of war forge them.

They will be of iron will and steely muscle.

In great armour shall I clad them and with the mightiest guns will they be armed.

They will be untouched by plague or disease, no sickness will blight them.

They will have tactics, strategies and machines so that no foe can best them in battle.

And they shall know no fear.


I shall call them.....Spase Marienz

Regardless. You are King of the entire planet.

Why bother with only two women at the same time?

I'd actually push through cloning, that I might have an Angelina Jolie and a Milla Jovovich for every room in all my palaces.

Then, like the Jokers Plastic Surgeon said....if you gotta go, go with a smile!

I'd have a squirrel cull...oh wait thats...never mind.

I would use murderers and pedophiles for medical research, move all people out of Africa and make it the world's largest nature park and eradicate every single trace of turtle pie.

warpcrafter wrote:I would use murderers and pedophiles for medical research, move all people out of Africa and make it the world's largest nature park and eradicate every single trace of turtle pie.

Down with turtle pie!

If was king of the world i would train wolverines for assassination purposes. Then unleash them on lazy people!!! Man i hate lazy people!

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Regardless. You are King of the entire planet.

Why bother with only two women at the same time?

Yeah I understand that, but he was making a reference to a movie, I don't think he was being serious.

Well lets see, clone myself twenty times and go on a vast galactic conquest, only to be betrayed by one of my clones and wind up a rotting carcass on a gold recliner and eat people's souls.

That's a prime example of what I would not do, because the Emperor is probably bored to tears.

Once total control of the planet had been achieved I would begin construction of the gate-machine.

Oh, and I would build a weapon capable of striking objects from space.

I would then proceed to round up all the pointless 'celebrities' that are a blight upon our culture (so thats anyone incapable of actually acting, famous for being famous, crap singers, poseur bands etc) and have them sent up into orbit, in individual cannisters, with the basic life support needed.

Following, I would, at my leisure, play a bizarre game of Celebrity Squares Bingo. All the players would have game cards with the faces of these vile cultural parasites, and would use their 'dobber' to mark them off as I blast them out of Orbit. First one to complete a card (referred to in Britain as a house) gets a prize and the glow of self satisfaction of helping rid our world of the more pointless swimmers in the Genepool. Additionally, certain 'Star Players' when destroyed, would win all Celebrity Squares Bingo players a £50 bonus. This would be saved for particularly toxic Gobshites, like Jade Goody, Paris Hilton, Simon Cowell and the Pope/any Religious leader that isn't the Dalai Llama (on account he is actually a sound bloke)

I dare anyone to come up with a greater abuse of power!

The Thousandth Son wrote:

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Two Chicks at the Same Time?

Your lack of ambition concerns me.....

I think he was referencing Office Space.

Indeed.

If you don't get the reference check out the vid below. The purchase a copy immediately!




Now if I ruled the world firstly I would make it the law that everyone must own a copy of Office Space.

Then I would have my palace staffed by

Kirstin Dunst, Carice Van Houten, Elizabeth Hurley, Gemma Arterton, Eva Green and Maggie Gylenahll all of whom must all do whatever bidding I command of them.

Then I shall set aside and island for all malcontents and people who annoy me. On this island shall be placed:

A) The entire editorial staff, writers contribers, owners and readership of the Daily Mail and Daily Express 'Newspapers'.

B) The Entire Cast of Eastenders, aside from Samantha Janus who can be added to my list of palace staff so I may act out those teenage thoughts I used to have whilst watching Game on in the 90's.

C) The French.

D) All fundamentalist religious types. Not the quiet ones that keep themselves to themselves but the ones who constantly take great pleasure in telling me I am wicked and hell bound because I do not subscribe to their world view.

E) The Jonas Brothers, Millus Cyrus and any other squeaky clean 'singers'.

My Air force will then use said island for bombing practice.

Next I shall build a giant laser and have my name carved into the surface of the moon Chairface Chippendale style.

The President of Iran and the Prime Minister of Israel shall fight to the death for my amusement. The winners may have the disputed territory. The losers shall forever wander the earth.

Finally all the scientist of the world will construct me a giant robotic body Iron Man style!

Your face on the moon? Really?

I'd settle for scrawling a crude phallus with all jitler coming out the end....

But the rest is a good start! But hey, save something special for anyone involved in High School Musical....

JohnHwangDD wrote:

FearPeteySodes wrote:Two chicks at the same time

Righto!

That'll be two sumo-sized BFFs on their way over.

You can thank me in the morning.

Just don't have them both be on top, or you'll suffocate...


____

That's just not true. I'm not saying it's easy, but you can have at least two big girls on top before things get too crowded.

ShumaGorath wrote:Once total control of the planet had been achieved I would begin construction of the gate-machine.

Once the gate-machine neared completion I would send entreaties to Our Lord who is the Commander of this Last Battlefield, the Angels are his Generals, and - for the Angels are so exquisite and terrible to look upon.

@Polonius: Note that I said "sumo-sized". The average Sumo wrestler clocks in over 400 pounds.

I don't know about you, but I think if you put 800 pounds on top of the average gamer's chest, he's not going to have the core strength to continue breathing.

If I ruled the world.... it wouldn´t be pretty for the not ME out there.

M.

Ikari Gendo dies at the end, you know...

Yup I know, but I memorized the Evil Overlord guide so I´ll avoid his fate killing my stupid son first.

M.

I would research the ultimate personal armour for my fanatic legions, Power armour if you will, And thereby hold the power by command of the only large army of bulletproof machinegunarmed warriors. By the control of all the worlds economy, I would redirect the required money to the most demanding area to a greater and more efficent extent then any non centraly controled earth could ever have done, and lastly, I Would Not Ban The free speech of the people. Banning it would hurt more then it helped. And I share mad doc grotsniks opinions on our beloved cultural parasites. Pardon the shoddy spelling.

This is what I would do. Turtle pie for every one the unbelievers .

Well, sex would be first on the list. And my friends and family thought I went on a rampage when I got to college! It would be a legendary tear. And there would be some booze involved, but I've killed enough brain cells thanks.

I would end world hunger. I would find all the selfish bastards who work to make their corners of the world a crap place to live for every one around them. All the tyrants who enrich themselves at the expense of the young, the poor, the workers.

I would do what every other tyrant in history did: enforce my will because I think it is right.

My world, you would reap what you sow, not what others sow. People would be properly remunerated for their efforts in cases where they are not. Places like Alang, India would be ruthlessly removed from the modern world.

Lazy bastards would have very thin lives. People willing to work would be rewarded in whatever currency they decided they valued most (money, larger family, large doses of narcotics).

It would take everything I have not to put together a List of people the world would be better without, and acting on it. Maybe I would. After all, not all gods are benevolent.

Worthless Minion-"Mr. Deadshane, you have just been elected 'Master of the world'...your orders sir."

DeadShane-"Wheres the big red button?"

First, arm every non-metropolitan person in the world with weaponry just short of tactical nukes, chemical, and bioweapons.

Second, Hide all of the tactical and strategic nukes, chemical, and bio-weapons.

Third, quarantine the major metropolitan areas with a gun line of gatling armed rednecks completely surrounding each city.

Fourth, release the Umbrella corps virus into said cities and play the most ultimate game of Resident Evil, EVER.


The survivors would be rewarded by inclusion into the Church of The Eternal Turtle Pie and large servings of the omni-dessert with each persons favorite companion beverage.

I would decree that scientists come up with a way to make being stupid hurt.

I would grant Deadshane1 any boon he wanted for changing his avatar. Rob Zombie>Gary Busey X a gigabazillion.

I would also make everyone in the world take a mandatory IQ test, those that fail to meet the required level (TBC) will be seperated into two categories, Fit and Unfit, the Fit shall be lobotomised and used for manual labour, the unfit shall be culled or used as bullet shields in my almighty army. Except the luckiest ones who will fight one another in the arena, the survivor shall then leave through a door in the arena, to his freedom. Little does he know that the door leads off the edge of a cliff

If I ruled the world, Mikael Akerfeldt, Michael Ammott, Les Claypool, Alexi Laiho and Danny Carey would be in the same band and it would kick so much ass. My favored court performers.

focusedfire wrote:Fourth, release the Umbrella corps virus into said cities and play the most ultimate game of Resident Evil, EVER.

The T-virus?

There are lots of animals in cities, and some of them fly. Those massive swarms of T-virus infected Pigeons are going to be a real containment problem.

Also, the Rats...

I think humanity loses in the end.

Just like in the movie.

I'd put anyone who annoys me into "happy camps", yay for happy camps! I would also destory france, cull the population (say 99.99%) and force the rest to fight to the death agaisnt Nazi zombies. Luckily for the world i will never be the world leader.