"Least Favourite" Author

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**JEB_Stuart**

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:Sarah Palin- Wiat, she can't even wirte, that doesn't count.

Says the guy who makes two grammatical errors in this sentence alone.

Oh the irony of posting sometimes!

**IvanTih**

I hate J. K. Rowling for writing Harry Potter,Stephenie Meyer for writing Twilight and I dare to say the only one,*drums play* C.S Goto.After I do this *activates nuclear bomb that blows C.S Goto and unforunately me.

**Emperors Faithful**

J.K. Rowling - I couldn't even finish her later books. I don't see what the big deal is, there's not that much it's got working for it.

Stephanie Myer - To be honest, I didn't think the books were rubbish, but I hardly thought them to be worthy of the name 'Bestellers'. And the movies...

Darren Shan - I liked his Vampire series, but the Deamonata is almost entirely concerned with blood, guts and gore. And why the feth did he spin off about Bec halfway through? Some stories just don't seem to be connecting, and they are most definitely not character building. (Characters die too quickly for that lol

) His newer writing just seem a bit too grimdark for my tastes. (I have 40k for that.

)

**SilverMK2**

J.K. Rowling - her style of writing actually made my brain hurt so much I could not finish more than a chapter of her first book.

Dan Brown - see above.

I don't really remember the names and books that I don't like to be honest. The people above are simply big enough that I can remember who they are. I have read more than my fair share of crappy books though.

**MeanGreenStompa**

Robert Jordan for the wheel of time books.

An ex of mine ranted endlessly about how great they were and made me read the first few. I found them to be a really dire ripoff of Dune in a fantasy setting (Aes sedai - Bene Gesserit, Those 'feared desert guys' - Fremen, the dragon - Quisachaderach) with a truly forgettable list of characters and some standard LotR bad guys thrown in for good measure.

I like lightweight fantasy sometimes, I enjoyed the Dragonlance books for example and I've always enjoyed Gemmell and sometimes enjoyed Eddings and Feist, but I could just not warm to Jordan and the endless and meandering wheel of time.

**BrookM**

The son of Frank Herbert, he's really milking the series and churning out real crap.

**Gitkikka**

R. A. Salvatore and his melodramatic twaddle.

**George Spiggott**

BrookM wrote:The son of Frank Herbert, he's really milking the series and churning out real crap.

Oh Christ yes, him and Kevin J. Anderson. I dare not read his Dune sequels. Speaking of ponderous prose written by offspring, there's Tolkein as well, although at least he kept his father's style.

I loved those 'Twins' Dragonlance books, the 'Dragons of..' ones less so.

**generalgrog**

GAV THORPE

GG

**MeanGreenStompa**

JEB_Stuart wrote:
Golden Eyed Scout wrote:Sarah Palin- Wiat, she can't even wirte, that doesn't count.
Says the guy who makes two grammatical errors in this sentence alone. Oh the irony of posting sometimes!

One presumes Golden Eyed Scout doesn't share Palin's delusion of future presidency... Your irony pie will prove a light meal.

**Gwar!**

MeanGreenStompa wrote:
JEB_Stuart wrote:
Golden Eyed Scout wrote:Sarah Palin- Wiat, she can't even wirte, that doesn't count.
Says the guy who makes two grammatical errors in this sentence alone. Oh the irony of posting sometimes!
One presumes Golden Eyed Scout doesn't share Palin's delusion of future presidency... Your irony pie will prove a light meal.

I agree with you here MGS (yes, I divided by Zero, so there).

I am also guessing it was a deliberate attempt at subtle humour

**nethaniellovesthorpe**

Stephanie Meyer WOO HOO! She Developed a character who is an 108 year old virgin and is still in high school. CHEESE AND RICE! I also HATE most teen literature its like the stuff I read in fourth grade. I like tons of books and used to love liabraries but it seems that my generations intelligence went down tremendously and now all of the liabraries in my town are filled with CARAP! CA! RAP! CRAP! I dont see how people cant stand to read are they really so lazy to where their mind does not even want to work? Plus with me being in highschool I sometimes inherit their stupid just by being in contact with them, of coarse it might just be where I live but the teachers seem the same too! GRRRAAAAA!!!!

**MeanGreenStompa**

nethaniellovesthorpe wrote:Stephanie Meyer WOO HOO! She Developed a character who is an 108 year old virgin and is still in high school. CHEESE AND RICE! I also HATE most teen literature its like the stuff I read in fourth grade. I like tons of books and used to love liabraries but it seems that my generations intelligence went down tremendously and now all of the liabraries in my town are filled with CARAP! CA! RAP! CRAP! I dont see how people cant stand to read are they really so lazy to where their mind does not even want to work? Plus with me being in highschool I sometimes inherit their stupid just by being in contact with them, of coarse it might just be where I live but the teachers seem the same too! GRRRAAAAA!!!!

No more red skittles for this one...

**Gwar!**

I want my Blue Smarties back :(

Artificial Colours made everything better.

**Lord-Loss**

Why all the Harry Potter hate

Emperors Faithful wrote:Darren Shan - I liked his Vampire series, but the Deamonata is almost entirely concerned with blood, guts and gore. And why the feth did he spin off about Bec halfway through? Some stories just don't seem to be connecting, and they are most definitely not character building. (Characters die too quickly for that lol ) His newer writing just seem a bit too grimdark for my tastes. (I have 40k for that. )

I know you havn't read past Wolf Island, so you dont realy know how Bec could be a massive part of the plot. You might understand more after reading "Dark Calling" but the series wouldnt work without her.

(Your be hating her by "Hells Hero's, if you want the humans to win

)

**Dreadwinter**

The guy who wrote the Drizzt crap.

**Lint**

BrookM wrote:The son of Frank Herbert, he's really milking the series and churning out real crap.

Qft. While I enjoyed reading the climax to the series, Frank's style was so unique and so good, it has been hard reading his son, and Kevin J's hamfisted attempts to re-create it. They did so-so with the original prequels, and I actually enjoyed the Butlerian Jihad, but the duology "climax" to the original series just magnified how badly we were missing Frank. And these latest books are just a sad cry for credibility. Oh yeah, and money.

I read the first two twilight books in a day, and have felt no desire to revisit them. When the "sex scene" in the book goes something like: "He looked at me with his beautiful eyes and touched me with his fingertips, and it was like electricity and heroin all at once." Sorry Stephanie, but I've known a couple of burnouts, and there is nothing romantic about heroin unless you like the smell of piss, and I can't relate to "electric fingertips" unless it is imediately followed by "electric mouth."

Also disliked Charlotte Brontë. No style.

**Gitzbitah**

Let's be fair, Stephanie Meyer turned vampires into a chastity lesson with sparkles. Her books should never have been as popular as they are, but they aren't horribly written. She was just the natural repercussion of Anne Rice's sex-crazed homoerotic vampires.

Robert Jordan on the other hand took everything we know and love about fantasy and tricked us into reading his meal ticket. The betrayal of his story for additional novels is what gets me and everyone else who quit after 4 or 5 books with no end in sight. Even that I could forgive... but have any of you read his 'prequel'? He wrote a novel to retcon a dead character into a lesbian! This is an abomination worse than the most hated author of all time- Hitler.

**Fallen668**

A-P wrote:
Alpharius wrote:
Agreed! This series should have been 6 books max, if that.

Of course, since he died without finishing it... (Though he did dictate a plot line for 'how it should end', I think!)

I remember hearing a rumour that his family was looking for an author to finish the series based on the surviving notes. No idea what the status of that project is.

BrookM: I agree on Clancys later works. I lost interest when he started developing Ryan into some kind of superman ( marine-teacher-analyst-action hero-minor spy boss-big spy boss-vice-president-president ). But I actually liked The Hunt for the Red October. It is still in my collection.

Book 12, "The Gathering Storm" came out 2 or three weeks ago. The new writer taking over is Brandon Sanderson and the book was total awesomeness. There will be 2 more books to finish it off just because there is too much stuff to tie up but Sanderson is not interested in padding it out. He wants to get it done and go on to his own epic fantasy series. Two major plot points were cleared up in this book and a whole slew of side plots were resolved or are set into motion to resolve. ALOT of people also die in this book. things are ramping up and quite frankly it feels fresh and exciting again after a whole lot of not much happening for the past few books. Sanderson has been a breath of fresh air for the series.

**Sanctjud**

C.S.Goto, I can't seem to finish anything he writes, it makes me zone out.

**Cane**

He's a playwright but I loathe Shakespeare. I understand that his tragedies helped shape modern literature but nowadays his work is too outdated, overdone, overrated, and more of a pain to read than anything else.

He made me glad that cliff-notes were invented and I suppose my beef would be better served hating on Western academia but meh.

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Hmmm. Shakespeare is indeed rubbish. All he did was cover pre-existing common themes, and be jammy enough for them to exist into the modern day. IIRC, he was something of a joke in his day.

As for crap Authors...

Whichever Bint wrote the Clan of the Cave Bear series. Yawn yawn yawn. Pro-feminist gak from Angry Feminist Hell.

And more recently, the bellend that wrote 'Outlaw'. Apparently, he's as good as Bernard Cromwell. Which can only mean Bernard Cromwell is crap as well, or the publishing house is talking crap instead.

**Emperors Faithful**

Lord-Loss wrote:Why all the Harry Potter hate

Emperors Faithful wrote:Darren Shan - I liked his Vampire series, but the Deamonata is almost entirely concerned with blood, guts and gore. And why the feth did he spin off about Bec halfway through? Some stories just don't seem to be connecting, and they are most definitely not character building. (Characters die too quickly for that lol ) His newer writing just seem a bit too grimdark for my tastes. (I have 40k for that. )

I know you havn't read past Wolf Island, so you dont realy know how Bec could be a massive part of the plot. You might understand more after reading "Dark Calling" but the series wouldnt work without her.

(Your be hating her by "Hells Hero's, if you want the humans to win )

I know exactly how important Bec is to the whole thing.

Spoiler:

But the thing is Darren Shan had just written these gory, sickly but at least farily comprehensive books. And then BOOM suddenly he's going on about celtic warriors and people trapped in caves. Surely he could have made more of an effort work it into the storyline?

**Gwar!**

Darren Shan! How could I forget that awfulness.

Oh wait, how could I NOT forget it!

**Emperors Faithful**

@Gwar!: Wait, wha-?

**Albatross**

Shakespeare? Seriously?

Wow.

@MDG - Theatre in general wasn't considered a serious artform in the time of shakespeare, much in the same way as TV in recent history.

**Lord-Loss**

Gwar: Which series did you read, Demonata, or Vampire one?

I prefered the Vampire series, but Demonata was good too.

EF: You still dont understand how important she is to the Kah Gah or the end of the series.

**Frazzled**

JEB_Stuart wrote:J.K. Rowling
Jean Jacques Rousseau
Voltaire
Jean Paul Marat
Ann Coulter

Rousseau, Voltaire, Marat? Thats it, you best fill your hands boy, dem's fightin words. (ok I don't know anything about marat other than the painting)

Automatically Appended Next Post:

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Hmmm. Shakespeare is indeed rubbish. All he did was cover pre-existing common themes, and be jammy enough for them to exist into the modern day. IIRC, he was something of a joke in his day.
.

Barbarian! Blasphemer! Easter of Haggis! (shudder). Shakespeare (when spoken) is inspired.

**MeanGreenStompa**

Frazzled wrote:
Automatically Appended Next Post:

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Hmmm. Shakespeare is indeed rubbish. All he did was cover pre-existing common themes, and be jammy enough for them to exist into the modern day. IIRC, he was something of a joke in his day.
.

Barbarian! Blasphemer! Easter of Haggis! (shudder). Shakespeare (when spoken) is inspired.

You have not experienced Shakespeare until you have heard it in the original klingon!

**Albatross**

@Frazzled - Exactly.

Here's a bit o' Hamlet:

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

Totally beautiful and melancholic - it also coined several phrases which english-speakers use to this very day, such as:

'shuffled off this mortal coil' - i.e death.
'The undiscovered country' - i.e erm, death again.
'To sleep: perchance to dream' - Just generally quoted a lot.

But my all-time favourite has to be:

This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

Always brings a lump to my throat

Just elegant writing.

Plus, there's always:

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English dead.

and

Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war!

Shakespeare's a bad writer?