How trustworthy is your beard?

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**Agrinja**

Chongara wrote:10% of Men are passably good-looking and only 10% of men can pull off a beard without it affecting their look negatively. The portion of beard-capable men is the same for both good looking and not good looking men. This means 1% of men actually look good with a beard.

This means that you are probably ugly. If you have a beard you are probably ugly and also look like you have a pair of rats stapled to your face.
If you are not ugly and you have a beard chances are you're ruining a perfectly good face by stapling rats to it.

If you have a moustache and only a moustache, you molest children.

**The Dreadnote**

I have to shave for work, but when I grow it out, I think it fits best somewhere down the red end of the spectrum.

**Chibi Bodge-Battle**

rubiksnoob wrote:It would seem that many dakkaites sport some form of facial hair, and while this in of itself is quite innocuous, it brings up an important question:

How trustworthy are they?

You all know the saying, "Never trust Greeks bearing gifts", well I have another one for you:

"Never trust Geeks bearing beards"

corrected

I trust my beard implicitly.
Afaik it has never slept with another man

**Albatross**

I rest my case.

**MeanGreenStompa**

Minor footnote:

Most kiddie fiddlers are clean shaven, since that makes them appear more trustworthy to children.

Glitter grew his soulpatch and tache to make him less recognisable (despite it making him far more recognisable...)

**Arctik_Firangi**

For a laugh I've recently been carrying a goatee shaped into an upward-pointing triangle... actually it's more of an arrow...

Ok, so it's a tactical squad marking.

At least I don't play vanilla marines.

**Albatross**

MeanGreenStompa wrote:Minor footnote:

Most kiddie fiddlers are clean shaven, since that makes them appear more trustworthy to children.

O RLY?

Glitter grew his soulpatch and tache to make him less recognisable (despite it making him far more recognisable...)

It's weird isn't it? He wanted to live incognito, so he gave himself a 'super villain' makeover, then moved to one of the world's paedo hotspots... Nope, can't see THAT ending badly!

**nerdfest09**

Damnit! I don't know whether to trust myself! i've had a goatee since I was 16! then went to the 'anchor' for a few years now i'm questionable! or midly trustworthy as I have the chin strap which joins into the landing strip! and have had that for 4 years ( I have no neck so it gives me a jaw line) but next week it may make way for 'Movember' ;-)

**WarOne**

nerdfest09 wrote:Damnit! I don't know whether to trust myself! i've had a goatee since I was 16! then went to the 'anchor' for a few years now i'm questionable! or midly trustworthy as I have the chin strap which joins into the landing strip! and have had that for 4 years ( I have no neck so it gives me a jaw line) but next week it may make way for 'Movember' ;-)

The best thing to do is to tell it while you like it, you don't really, really like it and therefore should part ways and see other chins/furry patches of hair. While it is distracted, plunge a knife into the anatomical equivalent of a beard's heart, stuff it in an ice cube tray, and bury it deep within the freezer.

No one will every know.

**Hawkins**

Deleted by the modquisition.

**nerdfest09**

I...I.....I...don't know,....he's been with me for so long now.....and, and he's very attatched to me, we've been through so much together.......he's helped talk me out of a speeding fine with the cops, (cop asked how i get it so neat) i said i don't, he just grows that way! I...want to post a pic...but if he influences anyone else.....i'll feel guilty!

**WarOne**

nerdfest09 wrote:I...I.....I...don't know,....he's been with me for so long now.....and, and he's very attatched to me, we've been through so much together.......he's helped talk me out of a speeding fine with the cops, (cop asked how i get it so neat) i said i don't, he just grows that way! I...want to post a pic...but if he influences anyone else.....i'll feel guilty!

Trust me, no jury in the world would convict you.

Worst case scenario, if you feel horribly disfigured by an errant knife thrusts, you could always wear a dashing mask:

**nerdfest09**

But my beard i've had since a child is my mask i hide behind! it protects me from the cruel taunts of "no neck,no neck"

**Tim the Biovore**

Well, as a teenage boy (man, whatever you prefer), I have a growing cop stache, but buy the time I draw close to the end of my lifetime, it will be a full Philiosopher.

**WarOne**

Tim the Biovore wrote:Well, as a teenage boy (man, whatever you prefer), I have a growing cop stache, but buy the time I draw close to the end of my lifetime, it will be a full Philiosopher.

Have you no sense of DANGER???

Beards are the natural enemy of man. They slowly devour your face til nothing but eyes are left!

JUST THE EYES!

Get it before it gets YOU!

**George Spiggott**

Got a goatee beard, got a personality defect. Is a mantra I've lived by for many years.

**Tim the Biovore**

WarOne wrote:
Tim the Biovore wrote:Well, as a teenage boy (man, whatever you prefer), I have a growing cop stache, but buy the time I draw close to the end of my lifetime, it will be a full Philiosopher.

Have you no sense of DANGER???

Beards are the natural enemy of man. They slowly devour your face til nothing but eyes are left!

JUST THE EYES!

Get it before it gets YOU!

Relax, once it thinks it has me cornered, WHAM! I pull out the 12-Gauge. You know how people wear dead animal fur? I'll just be wearing a dead beard.

**Chibi Bodge-Battle**

Have had a goatee for 10 years and in that time have committed no offences what so ever.

Prior to that I was an evil criminal mastermind, so go figure.

**ChiliPowderKeg**

I have an unkempt peach-fuzztache.

Anyone have a clue where that belongs?

**KingCracker**

WarOne wrote:
KingCracker wrote:Mine is somewhere between full beard and the philosopher, so I guess Im pretty trust worthy. Though, once I went through an Amish beard phase, so at my worst I was questionable.

And awesome Im mentioned. My beard and I share a drink for that......as well as the rest of the food/drink that fails to go into my face hole

So what does your beard drink and eat?

What ever the hell it wants to really. I have to say its a good beard, it has kept many a clean shirt clean, by catching dripping hotdog sauce and the like. *pets mega beard*

**Elmodiddly**

A soon as my forced redundancy comes to fruition from the RAF I will be growing a beard, it will be ginger, and considering I am almost bald anyway it will look like my head is on upside down.

**KingCracker**

Elmodiddly wrote:A soon as my forced redundancy comes to fruition from the RAF I will be growing a beard, it will be ginger, and considering I am almost bald anyway it will look like my head is on upside down.

Thats me! *raises hand*
Shaven head, giganto beard

**Battle Brother Lucifer**

I have crappy sideburns, a weird (it mostly grows in the middle and left side, but curls over to the right) goatee, and what I have dubbed the 'suave pirate' mustache
So...how trust worthy would that make me?

**Chongara**

MeanGreenStompa wrote:Minor footnote:

Most kiddie fiddlers are clean shaven, since that makes them appear more trustworthy to children.

Squares and Rectangles sir.

All mustache-havers are kiddie fiddlers.
However, only some kiddie fiddlers have mustaches.

**Nick Ellingworth**

'tache and goatee here so I'm apparently trustworthy (news to me!). I do want to grow a silent movie villain 'tache but that could affect my job chances.

**George Spiggott**

MeanGreenStompa wrote:Minor footnote:

Most kiddie fiddlers are clean shaven, since that makes them appear more trustworthy to children.

How to spot a pedophile.

**Chibi Bodge-Battle**

ChiliPowderKeg wrote:I have an unkempt peach-fuzztache.

Anyone have a clue where that belongs?

Below the nose and above your upper lip?

**fire4effekt**

Got the chin tuft- I'm Unsavory? i prefer unfalvory.

**FITZZ**

Now I ask you...is this a beard you can trust or not?

**Chibi Bodge-Battle**

Again, the beard I trust.
The earring on the other hand looks a blackguard who would sell his own dear mother.