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It's funny how true some of these posts are, esp trying to explain it and make it sound relatively interesting and trying as hard as you can to make it sound as adult as possible ("So you play games with toy soldiers, lol)

I don't really have a problem telling people I play (Althugh every gf I've had sort of stumbles on some pieces and I've got to explain it to them).

What I do have a slight annoyance with our people who are seriously unhappy with their lives and do nothing but sit at home and play WoW and warhammer and moan about how awful their lives are.

I don't mean to blow my own trumpet or sound like a douche, but i'm one of 'the cool kids' at college. Anyone questions my hobby, I explain it's like playing a computer game, but with extra creativity.

If they still give me a hard time, I get in their face about it.

For many years I have been a closet gamer, usually playing in the next town over or, in my basement. My wife and I both have very public jobs and my local store is in the middle of our down town.

As I've gotten older and less concerned about other people, I've been more open about my hobby. This has included little things like not hiding my models when the in-laws came over, and buying models in the town that I live in without constantly glancing around like I'm a flasher.

Tomorrow I will be playing my first game of Warmachine with a local guy who works at my local store. I'm sure it will feel good to walk out the door tomorrow and simply do something that I love without all the cloak and dagger Bull that normally comes with it.

Corey85 wrote:For many years I have been a closet gamer, usually playing in the next town over or, in my basement. My wife and I both have very public jobs and my local store is in the middle of our down town.

As I've gotten older and less concerned about other people, I've been more open about my hobby. This has included little things like not hiding my models when the in-laws came over, and buying models in the town that I live in without constantly glancing around like I'm a flasher.

.

It's so true! We act like we're doing something wrong, you just can't help it; I've got a job and a six month old son, but I still feel sort of embarrassed about going in a gw store and buying stuff.

Yeah, its sad, I once saw someone from work and passed the store all together. I went in the book store that is a few buildings up and milled around until I figured they were gone...

Eh, I talk openly if asked, and normally those questions come from, say, browsing dakka at work on a free time or reading a Codex at college.

And not just with WH, I even took a pair of medieval shoes with me when in the making and whenever I had a pause, at work, at college or in the bus, I sewn the leather pieces.

People should be ashamed only when doing questionable things... and what's questionable on this hobby? Nothing.

One thing a lot of people seem to forget is that a good modeler/painter is more than a modeler/painter, he is a craftsman, skilled in a craft not even for money but for pure personal enjoyment and expansion. That is something that people, most everybody can and do respect.

Also most people would be really surprised at who plays these games, I'm a plumber that plays an electrician and a welder, none of us fit into a "geek" mold at all.

On top of all this the real big attraction for me to this game is the fact that it is social, you go met new people and play these people in the physical realm (as opposed to over the net) The idea of being shamed while trying to be social is counter productive, I cant understand this hobby shame either.

Also, women don't like skiddish, guys, or guys that feel shame in what they do. I will never understand trying to hide the fact that you play wargames from a girl you are trying to get something going with, besides lying never gets you far with women.

Corey85 wrote:Yeah, its sad, I once saw someone from work and passed the store all together. I went in the book store that is a few buildings up and milled around until I figured they were gone...

I take my case to work with me... If anyone asks, i'll show them and try to explain. Everyone has eccentricities so why hide?
Although its nice to always carry a few select "favorites" with regards to painting quality on the top shelf, just so you don't say "Oh this my space marine army" And its all half-painted WiP's

When I meet new people I don't really mind telling them that I do play Warhammer 40k etc. But, where I live there's only one shop that sells Warhammer and the closest GW shop is around 2 hours away.

Anyway, it's a kind of a small toy shop where I buy my models, so yeah... I usually go very early in the morning whenever I buy there. So you know, people won't stare.

Well I am not ashamed of it. They only thing I think is that a lot of hobbyists can also be a total spaz about said hobby. When you act like a spaz about something people tend to weird out as a sort of compensation.

If you are spending over five minutes debating whether Exodia the Forbidden One is a better card than Dark Magician Girl then you are a spaz. I have seen people debate for hours over such things and it makes them and their hobby weird.

But this goes for any hobby. Trust me, talk to the wife of a Mustang enthusiasts, (The guy that spends several hours a day waxing his girl) Total spaz.

Growing up I was actually one of the kewler kids- partied alot and always had girls... I actually used to pick on the so called "nerds" until I was suspended from my vocational school and transferred to another one.

Low and behold, I ended up riding the bus to this school with those very same "nerdy" kids that I used to pick on. Well to make a long story short (or shorter), they introduced me to Warhammer which I loved to play.

So now, 15 or so years later, I've realized that some of the things I did as a adolescent were horrible, and after being to deployed to Iraq, I went so far as to call several people who I had targeted in my youth to apologize.

And now I picked warhammer back up (cus the orks look so dammned kool) and have officially crossed (or transcended to better put it) over to "nerddom."


So I guess the moral of the story is: hey quit picking on nerds, they're people too and if you're old enough to play soldiers in the real world, there is absolutely nothing wrong with playing toy soldiers in your mothers basement! (jk)

Iif your social status as a "cool kid" will be compromised by someone finding out about your hobby...

I got news for ya... you're NOT a 1/4 as cool as you might think you are... and others dont think you are cool at all.

Sorry. Be true to yourself.

It's a strange one. From my personal experience I'm a bit of a hider, I'd never deny it but I certainly don't talk about it unless I'm questioned on it.

As for school I was in the popular group of kids and most of my mates knew I played, I was mocked at times very lightly but never shunned because of it.... suppose that means I've got a decent set of friends!

When I went to college and uni I had given up playing by that point but I did play WoW which my house mates often past comment and judgement on.

Thinking about it I suppose I actually enjoy the distinction between the gamer (be it warhammer or on the computer) and the guy that goes out on the lash (that's getting blind drunk to non-brits).

I must admit I'd feel a bit uncomfortable if someone got a codex out in the pub, but then I get annoyed if someone spends far too long on their phone in the same situation. Perhaps that's what happened with your situation Spank, although I can see that if you all went out as a gaming group why shouldn't you talk about it? As for the part about swearing at the couple, well that's a completely different matter all together.

I must say though if I see someone reading a codex in a Norwich pub, I'll pop over and say hi!

This may turn into a wall of text but there's a few other points I'll mention:

1) A mate of mine crashed over a few months ago (I stayed round a girls) staying in the spare bedroom my brother started apologising on my behalf about the models and paint set in there. Now we're really close, there's only a year between us and we share a lot of the same friends and have other similar hobbies such as football and weightlifting but he always seems annoyed by my nerdier hobbies. I'm not sure if this makes me more conscious of it.

2) There's a guy at work who I know used to play warhammer. He often wears a cloak or has chainmail on when he does the post. Let's not mention his collection of 'different bits of rod' and his belief he'll one day turn into a wolf. Now, he's a genuinely nice guy and all of these antics are harmless but I both feel that I can't let people at work know about my hobby because I'll be judged with a similar brush and as you might be able to tell, I've been judgmental about his hobbies...

3) How many of those comfortable about their hobby are in stable, long term relationships?

I will occasionally carry around my Geek Card.

If I'm bringing my Messenger bag with the Orks in it around, and people ask why I'm holding a book and a pad of paper, I'll explain 40k to them.

If I'm at, say, school, I'll usually keep the Geek talk to a minimum, unless I'm around my geek friends. Then it's full blown 40k.

ChrisWWII wrote:I'm honest about my hobby, and I understand how people can view it as geeky, however I feel that if a person can't accept my hobbies, and overlook me being into geeky things, that person is probably not worth knowing.

Now, I don't bring it up first thing. My introduction is not, "Hi my name is Chris, and I play Imperial Guard,' later on, if we end up on it somehow, talking about hobbies I'll bring it up.

I agree with you there, if the person isn't cool with you playing wargames then he's not much use as a friend.

And that's exactly the same with me, i don't walk round shouting out that i play wargames but if people find out, they find out, it's cool by me.

I don't pretend anything when it comes to 40k, actually when i'm playing games and someone calls me i always answer the phone "I'm playing with my little men, whats up"

Saying that the meta i'm in isn't some sort of down trodden group of poor hygenic social rejects. Most of us are in normal occupations or college, and usually we go out for beers and discuss 40k or deathwatch while we are in a bar.

I'm not saying that everyone should be normal with this game, i'm just saying that if you just treat it like a hobby, its like whatever else people like to do, such as watching tv, flying kites, playing sports or travelling. To each his own.

Ketara wrote:

~C.S. Lewis~ wrote:
"Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development.

"When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."

Hey, kudos for the C.S. Lewis quote! That man was a master at simply stating elusive truths.

To the OP: I do not hide it from my family or friends, but at the same time I don't just shove it in their face. People that are worried about being geeky need to relax; it is just a goofy hobby, and any that looks down on you for playing wargames needs to get a major attitude readjustment. Sure, there are certain unfortunate stereotypes associated with games, mostly to do with ones hygiene, but, as always, stereotypes do not usually apply to most people. You can live a perfectly normal life, and still enjoy the occasional indulging of ones pent up geekdom. Just don't forget the deodorant

_Tim?

I've been in the hobby for nearly 10 years (this march), and I've never been ashamed of it. During High School, I would browse the GW website, and me and a friend played Fantasy in one of our lessons becasue we had nothing else to do.

Yeah, I got ripped on for it, but I didn't care. I enjoy doing it, and I will always enjoy doing it.

Since last summer, when I got back in to the the hobby, I didn't go out of my way to inform my friends. But they came over and my new Ogre army was lying on my table in variously stages of assembly and painting stages. They asked what it was, and I explained. I didn't try and get them to start, but I pretty told them what it was.

Then we were hanging out and we walked past the local GW, where my tyranid army is in the window. I pointed it out, just becasue they knew thats where I hung out. They think that the paint and shizz is cool. They aren't going to do it, but they like the fact that I don't just sit at home eating bacon and playing games. Kinda hard to avoid when your a game journalist.

But the point being, I am a geek. I accept this. It's known to everyone in my family and my friends. I accept this fact, and so does everyone I know. They aren't going to buy me the models, but they understand it.

Maybe hiding it works for you, but I just didn't care.

Eldar Own wrote:
You've hit the nail on the head here. Some of the people i know who rib me about my hobby (nothing seriously just 'At least i don't play wargames' when they're losing an argument) do exactly this.

I've had people try the "I don't play warhammer so I'm better!" But it really doesn't matter to me. Warhammer is a hobby I am proud to show to visitors (typing this while in college as we read). I've openly read codexes, BL novels and White Dwarf in High School, and I even play most of my games in a college club, where people demonstrate a solid interest in the game and a fair number of women-folk have been converted into wargaming.

At school I used to be a weedy little goth kid, and got a lot of hassle from chavs and the like, in one instance having some of my models broken. I put up with all of it for about two years and then I lost it one day and ended up breaking one of these guys ribs. I'm not boasting or anything, I hate real life violence, but it taught me the lesson that you need to stand up for yourself- even if you get the gak kicked out of you, cos if you don't, who else will?

There was one really chavvy guy in our school who was just so agressive and it turned out that he took drugs, he came at me saying he had a knife at home ( After a disagreement which came about because he had completely the wrong end of the stick). I countered saying I had a fully functioning musket with a razor sharp 22" bayonet, and musket rounds. I never heard anything from him again after someone pointed out it wasn't a bluff. I love being a nerd. I think he may being teenage prison or whatever they call it now. Hardly surprising really.

I carry around My 40k books all the time, especially at work. in my downtime i just read them, i also know that i am a geek/nerd/whatever and i embrace it. there isn't any shame with being named as such. nerds will take over the world eventually. lol

First I'm glad to see so many of you are not afraid of being honest about the hobby, but once again I want to assure people that I'm not trying to have a go at those of you who wish to. We all different people and have different experiences. I can quite understand if you've had a hard time because of your geeky leaning in the past you might be reluctant to admit it to people again.

This may turn into a wall of text but there's a few other points I'll mention:

1) A mate of mine crashed over a few months ago (I stayed round a girls) staying in the spare bedroom my brother started apologising on my behalf about the models and paint set in there. Now we're really close, there's only a year between us and we share a lot of the same friends and have other similar hobbies such as football and weightlifting but he always seems annoyed by my nerdier hobbies. I'm not sure if this makes me more conscious of it.

2) There's a guy at work who I know used to play warhammer. He often wears a cloak or has chainmail on when he does the post. Let's not mention his collection of 'different bits of rod' and his belief he'll one day turn into a wolf. Now, he's a genuinely nice guy and all of these antics are harmless but I both feel that I can't let people at work know about my hobby because I'll be judged with a similar brush and as you might be able to tell, I've been judgmental about his hobbies...

3) How many of those comfortable about their hobby are in stable, long term relationships?

Not really sure to say about point one, has he ever explained why he find your geek hobbies annoying? is it a perceived image thing?

With point two though I doubt anyone will tar you with the same brush, if anything you might promote the idea that you don't have to be odd to play wargames.

3 and half years with my girlfriend, plan to marry her if I can get money together for a ring, she knows all about my hobby (probably more than she wants to actually) but she has her own geeky hobby. 26 and she knits. Most people I know are geeky about something its just some are seen as more socially expectable.

As a hobby I don't find it any different from the guys at my work who can tell you won the premier league in 1986, walk around in football shirts and constantly refer to how "they" played when they have clearly had no part in the victory.

Phazit257 wrote:I applaude this comment for it's straightforward and simple subject! I have nothing to be ashamed of for my wargaming interests. When I do get occasionaly reticuled for it...

Ouch. That must hurt! How small a reticule are we talking?

SpankHammer III wrote:I'm not talking about plastering every bag you own with stickers or wearing tshirts, although I have no problem with people who do, i'm taling about people lying about their hobby.

I was talking to a gamer who admitted to me he has two facebook accounts one where he admitts his hobby one where he does not, I think that is a little depressing. You wouldn't get a football fan doing that.

Most of the behavior identified in your first post, and above, smacks to me of guys who are trying to pick up women and don't want to risk being perceived as nerds. I've known a few guys like this. Concerned about their Facebook, worried about a codex in a pub... yeah, desperate guy trying to hook up.

Overall, good ol' C.S. Lewis said it best. Ketara beat me to it.

Eh in my life Im not ashamed of my 40k hobby, I openly discuss it with friends and curious on lookers etc etc.

My friends and strangers alike find it weird how I spend a large part of my spare time doing nerdy things (WH, 40k, MtG, DnD) yet spend alot of time aswell doing things they deem manly (rugby, sports, paintballing, gym, wrestling),

Its a hobby, its fun and relaxing. If you have a issue discussing it, showing your hobby to the world, maybe you just don't gain as much satisfation from it as you think.

Not only am I no ashamed, I'm quite proud of my Geek heritage. I talk about it all the time, and have actually 'converted' many people into gaming of all sorts due to my passion for it, and how much i seem to enjoy it. My D&D group is unusual in that 3\5 of my players are female, with the 6th person being me. Thats due to the fact that I'm confident, unashamed, and passionate. I also talk about a billion other things, all of which I love, and speak of with similar vehemence.
I've been picked on, I've been insulted and I've had things broken/stolen/vandalized etc. and you know what? that was before i was openly a 'geek'. I was just the quiet kid who read a lot. I say give them something obvious to pick on, have some good retorts prepared, and be willing and able to try and convert them.

SpankHammer III wrote:First I'm glad to see so many of you are not afraid of being honest about the hobby, but once again I want to assure people that I'm not trying to have a go at those of you who wish to. We all different people and have different experiences. I can quite understand if you've had a hard time because of your geeky leaning in the past you might be reluctant to admit it to people again.

This may turn into a wall of text but there's a few other points I'll mention:

1) A mate of mine crashed over a few months ago (I stayed round a girls) staying in the spare bedroom my brother started apologising on my behalf about the models and paint set in there. Now we're really close, there's only a year between us and we share a lot of the same friends and have other similar hobbies such as football and weightlifting but he always seems annoyed by my nerdier hobbies. I'm not sure if this makes me more conscious of it.

2) There's a guy at work who I know used to play warhammer. He often wears a cloak or has chainmail on when he does the post. Let's not mention his collection of 'different bits of rod' and his belief he'll one day turn into a wolf. Now, he's a genuinely nice guy and all of these antics are harmless but I both feel that I can't let people at work know about my hobby because I'll be judged with a similar brush and as you might be able to tell, I've been judgmental about his hobbies...

3) How many of those comfortable about their hobby are in stable, long term relationships?

Not really sure to say about point one, has he ever explained why he find your geek hobbies annoying? is it a perceived image thing?

With point two though I doubt anyone will tar you with the same brush, if anything you might promote the idea that you don't have to be odd to play wargames.

3 and half years with my girlfriend, plan to marry her if I can get money together for a ring, she knows all about my hobby (probably more than she wants to actually) but she has her own geeky hobby. 26 and she knits. Most people I know are geeky about something its just some are seen as more socially expectable.

As a hobby I don't find it any different from the guys at my work who can tell you won the premier league in 1986, walk around in football shirts and constantly refer to how "they" played when they have clearly had no part in the victory.

you got a GF that knits... lucky SOB lol, my GF's hobby is cinematography .... so expensive, might get her a knitting kit hmmm

all my mates take the piss out of this, as does my brother, but inevitably they all want to join in, now pretty much all of us play or paint, Oli was the last person to convert to the geek side

DakkaDakka wrote:

Never had a problem. I picked this game up becuase I suffered a bad depression and needed something new in my life.

dayve110 wrote:

Corey85 wrote:Yeah, its sad, I once saw someone from work and passed the store all together. I went in the book store that is a few buildings up and milled around until I figured they were gone...

I take my case to work with me... If anyone asks, i'll show them and try to explain. Everyone has eccentricities so why hide?
Although its nice to always carry a few select "favorites" with regards to painting quality on the top shelf, just so you don't say "Oh this my space marine army" And its all half-painted WiP's

THIS is so true. lol. When someone asks about the hobby, I always end up showing my best minis, or pics taken from a Games Day to explain what the hobby looks like.