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MrDwhitey wrote:This old classic applies:



If a friend of mine gets a lathe, he's promised me one.

Holy Gak. Where can I buy this????? I can make two of these into an amazing drinking game!

Back on topic - I try to zombie-proof my apartments when I move in. Plenty of freeze-dried/canned food and water. Also have plenty of medical supplies. Walkie-talkies, batteries, flashlights, the works. Oh, and a nice aluminum bat

I don't believe it's for sale. The guy who designed it at least gave no indication.

i have an axe behind the bed head, I'm on the side that the door is on. tell the misses to hide.when that door opens i start swinging. it would look cool because i have plaid pj's which are red and i have to sleep with an eye patch, so i would look like a awoken pirate lumberjack!

Our house is small (by house I mean ground floor flat) bedroom door opens inwards so can be barricaded. If I hear them in the kitchen I can rush out open the fridge to block their approach (or thwack them in the face with it). General plan is either barricade or else bullrush in confined quarters and go ape-gak beating them with my slippers.

If they get angsty dose them with lots of insulin so eventually they'll collapse.

Frazzled wrote:

assultmarine wrote:while the topic of defending yourself from zombie/aliens/girls has come many, many times, the topic of your actual home invasion plan hasnt come up in my
three or so years of dakka i havent heard seen one.
so dakka, heres the scenario,
your in bed, its a normal night, your wife/partner/teddy is beside you in bed sound asleep, your awake.
you hear a sound from your hall, you see shadows on the wall.
what do you do?
whats your weapon of choice? do you have an accessable weapon? how do you defend your family?

Either:
1. Kill them. Kill them all!
or
2. sleep through it.

I am envisioning someone kicking open your door only to be bowled over and devoured by a frenzied swarm of weiner dogs...

I have a good alarm dog, a bat next to my bed and the strength of ten men. Bring it.

MrDwhitey wrote:I don't believe it's for sale. The guy who designed it at least gave no indication.

I found it! Huzzah!

http://www.jamesmcadam.co.uk/table_for_sale.html

My word! I last checked months and months ago and nothing!

My life has become just that little bit better.

Just doing my job, citizen

Ive got steel framed doors with 2 inch deadbolts, and lots of typical prickly arizona plants under all windows. Two boxer/pit mix dogs, and a 12 ga shotgun with a tactical light on the foregrip. Anyone that batters down the doors is going to make so much noise, I'll have time to wake up, brew a cup of coffee, call the police, feed the barking dogs, and shoot anyone that makes it inside before the police arrive. If Im feeling really charitable I could dump a can of bear repellant out the window to scare them away.

Its easier to keep people out, than get them out once they get in.

http://www.jamesmcadam.co.uk/table_for_sale.html

I think I still prefer mine:



DISCLAIMER: Yes. That PMAG is permanently blocked at 10 rounds to comply with CA's absolutely <CENSORED CENSORED> <CENSORED>ING <CENSORED> legal environment.

The blue one is about what I will be left with if the democrats get their way, however....

I'll just dial 911 and sit still, confident that Law Enforcement will respond in a timely manner and save me and mine...
...Real answer, I own three handguns and a Mosberg 500 shotgun, all readily accessible when needed...

I have a Bo-staff and know how to use it. But I would not be the only crazy armed dude in the house. :nods:

I barricade my door and hope for the best, the only weaponry in my home (other than my thermite) is kept in the garage which is impractical to get to in the case of a home invasion.

Thinking about it my didgeridoo could do some damage to someones head if there was room to swing it...

corpsesarefun wrote:I barricade my door and hope for the best, the only weaponry in my home (other than my thermite) is kept in the garage which is impractical to get to in the case of a home invasion.

Thinking about it my didgeridoo could do some damage to someones head if there was room to swing it...

If you find yourself without a weapon, simply use another member of the household.

corpsesarefun wrote:I barricade my door and hope for the best, the only weaponry in my home (other than my thermite) is kept in the garage which is impractical to get to in the case of a home invasion.

Thinking about it my didgeridoo could do some damage to someones head if there was room to swing it...

... ..Your what could do some damage if there was room to swing it..?

Thinking about it my didgeridoo could do some damage to someones head if there was room to swing it...

Oh dear.

I have a simple loaded glock pistol in the little nightstand next to my bed.

Use my phone to illuminate the room, hope my lady doesn't make any noise.

didg·er·i·doo
noun
didgeridoos, plural; didjeridus, plural

An Australian Aboriginal wind instrument in the form of a long wooden tube, traditionally made from a hollow branch, which is blown to produce a deep, resonant sound, varied by rhythmic accents of timbre and volume



I'm slightly concerned as to what didgeridoo means in america...

Something to do with pot, methinks.

Or your cock.

I'm surprised you americans feel the need to keep loaded guns in your bedside tables. How rife is burglary there?

Usually in the UK burglaries take place during the day when you are out.

That's what the landmines are for, Howard.

I'm surprised you americans feel the need to keep loaded guns in your bedside tables.

Between the fact of a 2-5 minute (Best case) response time by police, the fact it takes a lot less than 2-5 minutes to get killed, the supreme court of the united states pretty bluntly, and repeatedly stating that your safety is your responsibility, not theirs (Merely the safeguarding of the public at large, rather than individual members of it...Except the rich ones.) and that a fair few policeman are the "I shoot at qualifying time and nowhere else!" types....I'm surprised that the state of things here is a shock to anyone at all.

Usually in the UK burglaries take place during the day when you are out.

Aye, and that is why you have insurance. A home invasion is entirely more dangerous, and they do happen...and you cannot really determine whether that person is there for your xbox, or for YOU beforehand. Prudent to assume the latter.

I guess any country awash with guns means you need them when a person breaks in because of the likelihood of them being armed. Violent burglaries are very uncommon in the UK. Most burglars run off if they heard the owner get up.


By the way, I'm not totally against gun ownership, it's the idea of keeping one loaded right next to the bed I think is excessive.

Howard A Treesong wrote:I guess any country awash with guns means you need them when a person breaks in because of the likelihood of them being armed. Violent burglaries are very uncommon in the UK. Most burglars run off if they heard the owner get up.

That happens in the U.S as well, but we also have those folks that will kick in your door and come in with guns drawn.

Ive got a tight hallway that is the only way to the bedrooms. So I thought.....tight confines.......flamethrowers like those! And thats what I have. AND! To add to it, I hooked it up to my natural gas line for my house....that baby is always ready to roar and never run out of juice.

I guess any country awash with guns means you need them when a person breaks in because of the likelihood of them being armed.

Not even that. Can't speak for anyone else but I have enough hands-on experience to know that if multiple people my size with fighting on their mind bludgeon into my home, I am probably going to wind up hurting. I know that if -other guy- has a knife, and I do not, well...Things are about to suck. There is any number of variables outside of the other guy having a firearm that make it very advantageous to keep a rifle in the locker.

Most burglars run off if they heard the owner get up.

Honestly the same holds true here. Even more bolt when they see they are about to meet armed resistance. If THAT doesn't get their attention, it seems like most decide being shot at is too much like having a real job, and they go find somewhere else to be. If even that fails...Well..I have not yet heard of a person becoming a repeat offender after being shot dead by an intended target.

Howard A Treesong wrote:I guess any country awash with guns means you need them when a person breaks in because of the likelihood of them being armed. Violent burglaries are very uncommon in the UK. Most burglars run off if they heard the owner get up.


By the way, I'm not totally against gun ownership, it's the idea of keeping one loaded right next to the bed I think is excessive.

Oh yea, Im sure its just so hard for criminals in your country to arm themselves. Sides the way I see it, if someone is brash enough to break into my house, will charliebars on the windows and incredibly thick deadbolts on all the doors, they mean business. Which means I mean business, armed or not, they are going to regret it.

My dad's patrol car sits in front of our house...

Screw guns, I've got deterrence!

Not really...I love guns as much as the next guy...

KingCracker wrote:

Howard A Treesong wrote:I guess any country awash with guns means you need them when a person breaks in because of the likelihood of them being armed. Violent burglaries are very uncommon in the UK. Most burglars run off if they heard the owner get up.


By the way, I'm not totally against gun ownership, it's the idea of keeping one loaded right next to the bed I think is excessive.

Oh yea, Im sure its just so hard for criminals in your country to arm themselves. Sides the way I see it, if someone is brash enough to break into my house, will charliebars on the windows and incredibly thick deadbolts on all the doors, they mean business. Which means I mean business, armed or not, they are going to regret it.

Gun crime is very low in the UK. Yes it happens, but a lot of is is probably gang related and they all shoot each other. The sorts of people breaking into houses don't have guns.

Anyway, as I said it's not the issue of defending yourself with a high level of force, it's having a loaded gun within arms reach of your bed I think sounds a bit paranoid. Maybe if you live in a really rough neighbourhood where you expect someone to burst in any moment. It's common sense to at least keep a gun unloaded when not in use.