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"Those melta bombs will never hurt my land raider" - Myself against a douchy tailored Blood Angels list.

'That doesn't look too hard'. Generally just tempting fate, to roll all 1's with your Talos.

"They will never get through my Artillery!"

I won the game with only 1 Baneblade and 2 manticores with no missiles left.

And as a IG player who uses massive amounts of Armor-Heavy Armor

"I did the Mathhammer. You're fethed."

Last words I said before TWC failed all the attacks against the Grots, killing maybe 3.

30 attacks later, a 400 point squad was killed by the worst CC unit in the entire game. I have never seen that many sixes in my life.

KplKeegan wrote:"You won't fire that Ordnance, you'd shell your own Guardsmen."

Hah. You Space Marine players and your sense of self-preservation amuse me.

That always cracks me up. Few armies realize just how crazy IG players can be.

"You'd never deepstrike a 31 man powerblob into there! It's suicide! They'll mishap! They've only got 3" in any direction to scatter!" -veteran IG player at tournament

"GUESS I BETTER NOT SCATTER THEN HUH?" Me, right before I rolled a direct hit on scatter die

"Well, at least I know the NEXT one will mishap..." Vet

"COME ON BOYS LETS GO FOR THE GOLD!" Me, who proceeds to scatter right next to a tank perfectly in melta range.

"Well... crap"

And that dude STILL tabled me God that was an awesome game.

"So what if Cato's plasma pistol gets hot? he has artificer armor AND Feel no pain!"


"so what if your libby has a psychic hood? I'll still get some powers through" and I still stopped three rounds of his rune priest's powers

"So those scouts with a combi-melta infiltrated close to my leman russ. They wont be able to do anything!"

"Im sure that deamon prince wont be a problem"

"Pfffft, what can two paladins do against 10 sternguard veterans and a tactical squad?"

Alexzandvar wrote:"They will never get through my Artillery!"

I won the game with only 1 Baneblade and 2 manticores with no missiles left.

And as a IG player who uses massive amounts of Armor-Heavy Armor

Lol I love that gif so much.

"It's not like they can fail these saves anyways"

UM player charging 3 TH/SS into heavy weapon squad. I get int and score two wounds. Fail both 2+, flee, and are overtaken, decimated.

Less 'last words' and more 'last thoughts' but still.

"My Hornets [2 Pulse Lasers each] can take care of those Dreadnoughts." I proceed to score a single damage result (a glance, causing Crew Stunned) with one of the Hornets over the course of the entire game; the amount of of 5s and 6s to hit followed by 1s and 2s to penetrate front or side armour (both dreadnoughts had their backs against the board edge, they were Psyriflemen) was astonishing.

"Holofields should save me." Followed by my opponent rolling 5-5, 5-6 or 6-6 for damage results.

"No reward without risk!"
Followed by shadowsun soaring off the board.
"Well, that's what the pathfinder devilfish is for."
Lands... out of melt a range.

Also: "Go ahead, death or glory with your wraithlord against my def rolla battlewagon"...battlewagon disappears in a puff of smoke... no wounds caused.

Finally: "Yeah, three railguns, one twin linked, with markerlight hits. That rhino shouldn't be a problem".
KABOOM! ...After three full turns of firing with both hammerheads and the broadside.

"Now there's no way my Herald of Khorne w/16 Bloodletters can fail their 28th reserve roll in a row!"
They did of corse. 7 strait games now of never showing up before turn 5! I'm thinking of re-naming them the Bloodless-letdowns considering their running total of kills now stands at 2 whole ork boyz... Tomorrow I'll see if I can keep the streak going and make it 8 strait games!

"Well, thank god my Priest w/eviscerator got to that penitent engine!" (cue 6" explosion killing over 13 of my guardsmen and bringing 3 seperate squads below scoring strength while no sisters die...) "Well, thank god I'm not winning this game anymore!"
My friend standing over my should trying to hold himself up as he was laughing so hard, "I'm telling you this not only as a games designer but also as your friend, the idea of 40k is to kill the other guy's army, and not your own!"

"No, my skaven aren't actually retreating - they're just 'charging in the opposite direction!'"

"It's not really a 'misfire', rather I think of it as a catastrophic success!" (I tabled myself with my own warp lightning cannon... The skaven have sat on the shelf ever since!)

"WHAT HAPPENED NOW?!" (the words my manager would demand of me whenever I'd call him since it almost always ment something had exploded, caught fire, been flooded, or zapped by lightning...)

"I roll 2D6 for penetration, that Land Raider is as good as dead!"
-Me

His Rhino moving over my last TH/SS termy:
-Him: I guess you ll avoid that
-Me: DEATH OR GLORY!!!

*Splat*

"Charging four wolves into my death star? That was a mistake."
*I start picking up dice to roll*
"Wait, they get HOW many power weapon attacks?"

For context, I run a Wolf Court of four beefed-up Wolf Lords on Thunderwolf Mounts. Most people think it's a silly unit until half the board is cleared, and the Lords are still sitting pretty despite taking fire for most of the game.

"Scourges against my TH/SS Terminators? Pah!"

I then proceeded to hit and wound him 4 times. He rolls 3 1's.

Terminators back manage to land 3 hits and rolled 2 1's for a wound. For my save I rolled a 6.

Terminators ran away. Then it was my go. 4 Splinter Cannons and 6 Shardcarbines pretty much guaranteed that fight over.

Had a funny little skit with models during a game the other day with a Nid player (came from Starcraft, but it was just so perfect):

*Vanquisher runs over a few non-synapsed Gaunts during Dawn of War*

Driver: Looks like you mashed some poor feller's dog, Sir.

Commander: It's a hormagaunt Lester, a smaller type of Nid. They wouldn't be all the way out here unless... Oh gak.

*A brood of Genestealers outflanks and noms the Vanquisher*

AlmightyWalrus wrote:

optimusprime14 wrote:"It's only 1 nid warrior, what can he do?" Says my unit of 3 TH/SS termies who has already taken out 6 nid warriors in 1 turn, a Tyrnanofex (sp?) and a Harpy. They charge, the warrior make all his attacks, wounds on all and I fail 2 of 3 2+ saves. My terminator then fails to hit any of his attacks and is caught in a sweeping advance...

AFAIK there's no Codex with TH/SS Termies where said Termies aren't either Fearless or have ATSKNF. I guess he could've died from No Retreat! though...

Oops, you are correct, however wih my rolls there it would have died...

"What's that do?"

black templar player after his dreadnought kills a daemon prince in cc:
yes! victory is mine!

me to daemon player:wait you forgot you have 2D6 armor penetration its a monstrous creature

daemon rolls his attacks again exploding the dread

templar player:

"Only in death does juty end"
"You can't kill me i've got power arm..."
"It's a grot what can it do?"
"Now to kill you with my plasma pistol"
"gaaaarr" - tyranid
"Hug!" anything to lightning claw terminator

Game ends when I shoot with my Emperor's Champion.

Nid player "It's a draw, you won't take my fex with a single pistol shot."
Me, B. Templars "May as well try."
Nid player "How did a pistol kill my carnifex!"

That one pistol shot won me the game, I always shoot with my ECs pistol now

my opponents thinking "Guard is an easy win" have had funny lines.

Me vs Space Marines
"Ok now my Captain (SM) and his squad is going to rape your command squad...." as he walks closer to my command squad who on my turn shoots away his units in the squad leaving the Captain adn 2 others. he then assaults and leave me with only my commander and Commisar and he is left only with his captain who has been wounded by my Company commander.
rolls 1,1,1 on (SM) captains attacks. My Commisar punches him in the face with a power fist killing him.

Me vs Chaos (Tzeentch or however its spelled)
Him "This shouldn't take long"
battle goes till turn 6 with my Basilisks reducing his advancing 4+ invul troops to dust. while his termis and sorceror face a wall of 2 squads and my Platoon command squad loaded with metla guns and plasma weapons. FIRST RANK FIRE! SECOND RANK FIRE! kills the last termi and rapid fire plasma blast nuke the sorceror. they had been weakened to 2 people form 5 by plasma cannon fire from my Sentinals.

Another chaos.
"That'll never work!" cries the Chaos player
in desperation i have my hydra and Erradicator Leman Russ ram a Dreadnaught. Hydra gets punched and wrecks. but the Erradicator plows into the Dreadnaught and manages to cause it to explode. at first i failed my terrain check (for ramming the Dread) but with the Dozer blade i save it.

You madman! You fool! Why bother Deep Striking that close to the board edge?

I then roll a hit and decimate his 2 Long Fang Squads by Multi-Assaulting my Vanguard.

"Relax, I have terminator armour and a storm shield.
I've got this."

-Myself playing a 40k RPG, (turned out the tech priest I was supposed to be guarding was on the wrong side of the shield when the genestealers came).

"Alright, I'm going to charge your Tac squad" -Me
"Your going to charge SM with Firewarriors...?" - Friend
"YOLO" -Me

Dheneb wrote:"I roll 2D6 for penetration, that Land Raider is as good as dead!"
-Me

You and me both, except in my case it was a Defiler. That fethed roll wound up costing me the game.

"That heavy bolther will never explode my battle wagon"
Battle wagons goes BOOM!!!
thats right, i rolled 6 two times in a row.

"I have two Valkyries! I'll be fine!."
i love dark lances.

"Hahahahaha! None shall stand in the path of the Emperor's mightiest!"
-My Blood Angel terminators moments before charging into a combat with 10 Tyranid gaunts, where 3 of 5 died horrible deaths.

The hole game rides on this leadership roll
[6]+[5]=11
*gentle sobbing*
Mephiston- "well guys I'm out of here, peace out!"