Pop Tarts can kill people...

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**Grey Templar**

Better get rid of Idaho too. Nopt only does it look like a gun, it looks as if it has a high capacity mag as well.

**Inquisitor Ehrenstein**

KalashnikovMarine wrote:

On a similar note we need to ban "L"s and the state of Florida immediately.

That should help with presidential elections.

**d-usa**

Are we going to have the same thread everytime something gun-shaped gets a kid in trouble at school?

**SagesStone**

Probably.

**Easy E**

Pretty soon, Mr. Gunderson will no longe rbe allowed to teach in school because his name unfortunately has the word "gun" in it.

**Leigen_Zero**

This thread really got my hopes up for some darwin-award-winning mishap involving some bizarre contraption that killed someone by launching pop-tarts at high velocity or something.

My hopes were duly dashed...

Over here in the UK we only get 2 flavours of pop tarts, strawberry and chocolate, you guys across the pond get a ridiculous number of flavours (Well, we can get those other flavours as well from shops that deal specifically in importing american junk food, but they are something like £5 for a standard box of 8).

**KalashnikovMarine**

Heh so when it comes to poptarts, the US is to the UK like Japan is to the US on the subject of kit kat bars?

**Grey Templar**

Damn you K, you had to let me know my favorite candy has other flavors

**KalashnikovMarine**

My brother is stationed in Japan, want me to hook you up?

**Thesneakycyberman**

........

Because one just isn't enough.

**Snrub**

IS THAT A LEMON CHEESECAKE FLAVOURED KITKAT?!!!??!!?!?!?!?

Hnnnggg!

**Leigen_Zero**

KalashnikovMarine wrote:
My brother is stationed in Japan, want me to hook you up?

You send that like a true street-pusher...

KalashnikovMarine - Dakka's exotic-flavoured kit-kat dealer.

also, Lemon Cheesecake KitKat!

**PredaKhaine**

Snrub wrote:
IS THAT A LEMON CHEESECAKE FLAVOURED KITKAT?!!!??!!?!?!?!?

Hnnnggg!

I NEED ONE!

*said the man who has literally just bought 25 hazelnut kit kat chunkys. Stupid limited edition gimmicks taking away the best single chocolate bar in creation...

edited for 'chunky'

Man walks into a shop "can I have a kit kat chunky?"
Shop owner "sure. And don't call me chunky."

**KalashnikovMarine**

Leigen_Zero wrote:
KalashnikovMarine wrote:
My brother is stationed in Japan, want me to hook you up?

You send that like a true street-pusher...

KalashnikovMarine - Dakka's exotic-flavoured kit-kat dealer.

*looks around for mods*

Gotta protect my business you know, check this out, fresh from the docks man.

I have no idea what "Midnight Eagle" flavor is... but I want to eat it in hopes it gives me super powers.

**PredaKhaine**

Checks for mods, puts on a disguise...

Psst...can you hook me up?

**Cheesecat**

Kit Kat's are one of my favourite chocolate bars.

**-Loki-**

Wheres the whale flavoured kit kats?

**Cheesecat**

-Loki- wrote:
Wheres the whale flavoured kit kats?

Or horse flavoured.

**Snrub**

That is a crap load of kit kats.

Can anyone enlighten me as to what the "Midnight Eagle" flavour is?

**PredaKhaine**

Have you seen the one beneath midnight eagle?

It appears to be space invader flavour...

**KalashnikovMarine**

Snrub wrote:
That is a crap load of kit kats.

Can anyone enlighten me as to what the "Midnight Eagle" flavour is?

I asked my brother to get one and eat it for all of us. He'll report back shortly with any luck.

**Snrub**

*Steeples fingers*

Excellent...

**master of ordinance**

KalashnikovMarine wrote:
Leigen_Zero wrote:
KalashnikovMarine wrote:
My brother is stationed in Japan, want me to hook you up?

You send that like a true street-pusher...

KalashnikovMarine - Dakka's exotic-flavoured kit-kat dealer.

*looks around for mods*

Gotta protect my business you know, check this out, fresh from the docks man.

I have no idea what "Midnight Eagle" flavor is... but I want to eat it in hopes it gives me super powers.

Gimmegimmegimme *frantic scrabblings*

Back OT:

This is damned stupid and no offense but i am suddenly quite glad that i do not live in the US

**Leigen_Zero**

@Kalashnikov - Time to get a '30s mobster style trenchcoat so you can hang around in alleyways passing kitkats to people out of your inside pockets...

**Ouze**

I came to this thread to post an update, and then had to scroll back up for a second.

So, as an update to this story:

a Maryland legislator has proposed a ‘Toaster Pastry Gun Freedom Act’ to provide some rectitude to this imbroglio. That was some Don King-ish language. Anyway:

A Maryland state senator has crafted a bill to curb the zeal of public school officials who are tempted to suspend students as young as kindergarten for having things — or talking about things, or eating things — that represent guns, but aren’t actually anything like real guns.

Sen. J. B. Jennings, a Republican who represents Baltimore Harford Counties, introduced “The Reasonable School Discipline Act of 2013″ on Thursday, reports The Star Democrat.

“We really need to re-evaluate how kids are punished,” Jennings told The Star Democrat. “These kids can’t comprehend what they are doing or the ramifications of their actions.”

“These suspensions are going on their permanent records and could have lasting effects on their educations,” he added.

A nationwide flurry of suspensions seemed to reach an absurd level recently when Josh Welch, a second-grader at Park Elementary School in Baltimore, Maryland, was suspended for two days because his teacher thought he shaped a strawberry, pre-baked toaster pastry into something resembling a gun.

“I just kept on biting it and biting it and tore off the top of it and kind of looked like a gun,” the seven-year-old told Fox News.

“But it wasn’t,” he astutely added.

As Reason’s Hit & Run blog noted, Park Elementary School officials later offered counseling to other students who may have been traumatized by the pastry.

Senate Bill 1058 restricts the disciplinary options Maryland public school officials can use for any student who “brings to school or possesses” an image of a gun or an object that might look like a gun but isn’t one.

Students could also form their fingers in the shape of a gun without fear of reprisal.

The bill also includes a section mandating counseling for school officials who fail to distinguish between guns and things that resemble guns. School officials who fail to make such a distinction more than once would face discipline themselves.

Another provision of the proposed law would keep incidents involving non-threatening objects and images from going on a student’s permanent record. Elementary school-age students would be especially protected.

The bill also does not change any law or guidelines concerning actual violence or students who bring actual weapons to school.

Jennings admitted to The Star Tribune that his bill doesn’t have a high probability of becoming law.

For whatever reason, Maryland and neighboring Pennsylvania seem to be teeming with school officials who have reacted extraordinarily strongly to things that aren’t anything like real guns.

At Roscoe R. Nix Elementary School in Maryland, a six-year-old boy was suspended for making the universal kid sign for a gun, pointing at another student and saying “pow.” That boy’s suspension was later lifted and his name cleared.

At D. Newlin Fell School in Philadelphia, school officials reportedly yelled at a student and then searched her in front of her class after she was found with a paper gun her grandfather had made for her.

In rural Pennsylvania, a kindergarten girl was suspended for making a “terroristic threat” after she told another girl that she planned to shoot her with a pink Hello Kitty toy gun that bombards targets with soapy bubbles.

**Skinnereal**

Sen. J. B. Jennings sounds like the only person there with his head screwed on right.
If I get bad bed-hair and it looks like a mushroom cloud, do I get sent home for inciting genocide?

As for Kitkats, can you fit a whole 4-bar one in your mouth, sideways, while only breaking it into fingers?

**hotsauceman1**

Interesting, will this include or exclude toy guns?

**KalashnikovMarine**

Moar dakka! and calories!

**-Loki-**

Skinnereal wrote:
If I get bad bed-hair and it looks like a mushroom cloud, do I get sent home for inciting genocide?

That's a hair style I could get behind.

**Grey Templar**

Maybe thats why the Alien's guy says what he does. He got expelled from school due to his hair and now he's stuck talking about Aliens