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lol !

Hmmmm, very awkward moment right there......

I don't mind someone making jokes as long as they're funny. It's when they turn into awkward turtle jokes you feel uncomfy.

What about turtle pie?

Awkwardness: too much ownage?

I was playing a 500 point game, Crons vs. Orks. Now, I wasn't trying to be cheesy, but my Looted Tank had shot about 75R% of his crons by turn 2.

My opponent gives me the drop dead dirtiest look before he takes the hit and we laughed about it later.

Not my fault he put 'em so close 2gether....

Cryonicleech wrote:Hmmmm, very awkward moment right there......

Darn it! Stole the words right out of my mouth.

I had an akward moment a few years back. Playing in a 40k tourney against 'Mr. Imp Guard.' The guy cam to the tourney dressed in a guard uniform with a flak helmet and everything. It was odd. Anyway, my command squad drop-pods in and must survive a turn of shooting before it can commence eating up guard. This guy has LOS with a demolish russ. His pie plate lands bang on, hits the center of the pod and catches all 8 members of the squad. Needing 2+ to kill everyone, he promptly rolls 7 '1s.' Insult to injury, he also fails to damage the drop pod. It was so horrible, I actually took a picture of his die roll. In hind sight, this may not have helped his mood. You could see the light go out of him. He took off his helmet, slumped into a chair, and answered me with one word grunts the rest of the game. Also did not help that I tabled him. I did feel bad for the guy.

Was in a store one Sunday about a year ago.....

This guy comes in with his GF.

The fact that there is a GIRL in the store gets all of the pre-pubescent lads steaming.....

The guy starts going on how he 'uses' his missus to distract his opponents, low cut tops etc etc.

Problem is....this girl is not very 'photogenic'(Is that a polite way of saying %5(*&^)?

A 10 year old, standing nearby asks(loud enough for everyone nearby to hear)

"Looks like he rolled a "1" on the GF/Hotness Table.."

The witty banter about cleavage etc stopped soon after.....

akira5665 wrote: "Looks like he rolled a "1" on the GF/Hotness Table.."

Lol! consider this sigged.

At a gw tourny, right after my turn 1 the guy (adult too) starts whinning and belly aching and says "I've lost already" ... "I surrender."

I had a joint apocalypse game at my local GW, with my 1250 points worth of eldar, turn one, I was the only person who took any casualties,
and my entire army was destroyed by the end of turn one.
Admittedly I was then lent a baneblade to use for the rest of the game, but still, my entire army?

Goliath wrote:I had a joint apocalypse game at my local GW, with my 1250 points worth of eldar, turn one, I was the only person who took any casualties,
and my entire army was destroyed by the end of turn one.
Admittedly I was then lent a baneblade to use for the rest of the game, but still, my entire army?

I have a good Apoc one. It was a 11,000 point game, just a small one. it was Spess Mahrineeeenz and one Imperial Guard Player (with the old codex) Vs "Evil Xenos" and the Marine Players had gone for an Entire Deep Strike Army.

Yup, ALL Terminators, Drop Pods, Scouts in Storms etc etc Needless to say it was funny when they Bid a whole 2 Minutes for Deployment, stuck 100 Guardsmen on the home objective with commissars up the bum and then ended

Gwar! wrote:stuck 100 Guardsmen on the home objective with commissars up the bum and then ended

Just begging for a pie-plate...

Had similar happen in an Apoc game recently. Guy put 40 berzerkers behind a line of buildings. The Stormlord chassis (Bane hammerswordsomefin) in my backfield was Ordnance Barrage with a huge pieplate. 90% of his Berzerkers ate it. Yay!

Similar thing happened in the Apoc I played this weekend, first of the Lucky 13s. The imperial side's general stuck an arseload of Valhallans on top of the command building. On the Xenos team, a Tau player had brought a formation with 7 hammerheads, and hit everything up there with markerlights. Bye-bye Guardsmen.

We won tho

Most awkward Apocalypse game for me was when my opponent had this huge array of cardboard boxes. We thought it was his army case, but his army only filled one box.

Turned out the boxes were his Stompa......

Mmm i was in my local gw perusing the shelves when a drunk walked in, he stumbeld over the small step at the entrance then started asking what was happening, he demanded an intro game, between space marines( or as he described them "rock hard guys") and tyranids( but there are more of these blokes) he sat there and fell asleep on the seat, eventually he woke up and walked out, he nearly fell over the step at the door, it was funny but also quite shocking, he stunk of booze, everyone was very quite when he was there but everyone started talking about him when he left.

I can't tell you how many awkward moments I've had. There have been some very prickish players at my FLGS. Guys who tried to say that outlfank was the same as flankmarch to get in behind the enemy and then when confronted with the ACTUAL rules begins to insult the opponent's (my good friend's) deployment.

I do think the most awkward moment for me was when a severely socially unskilled kid decided that I was going to be his father figure. For whatever reason I was the star of the shop that day as I had 3 fexes and a tyrant and a bunch of gaunts and stealers. Why that got me attention I hardly know. Maybe because it was all painted? Who knows.

But he decided to do a play by play of every single squad move, shooting/fleeting action, and assault. He decided to do it in a yelling manner--complete with sound effects! His impression of my carnifex ramming a rhino made my sphincter seize up it was so bad. You can imagine how much we wanted to put a plastic bag over his head.

Everyone was so uncomfortable, but you can't tell a 10 year old boy with no father figure and no social support network to just go away. So we just ignored him. Every single inane question he asked was answered in short, concise sentences by me so that he'd be appeased.

I just about lost it when he tried to pantomime a genestealer leaping onto a marine tac squad and knocked one of my biovores off the table. It shattered into pieces and everything just stopped for a moment.

So with a sigh and a deep breath I told the little skinny guy he needed to 'KEEP AWAY FROM THE TABLE AND SIT DOWN'. I feel like I took one for the team because after I glued it back together he didn't say a word.

Grunt_For_Christ wrote:I can't tell you how many awkward moments I've had. There have been some very prickish players at my FLGS. Guys who tried to say that outlfank was the same as flankmarch to get in behind the enemy and then when confronted with the ACTUAL rules begins to insult the opponent's (my good friend's) deployment.

I do think the most awkward moment for me was when a severely socially unskilled kid decided that I was going to be his father figure. For whatever reason I was the star of the shop that day as I had 3 fexes and a tyrant and a bunch of gaunts and stealers. Why that got me attention I hardly know. Maybe because it was all painted? Who knows.

But he decided to do a play by play of every single squad move, shooting/fleeting action, and assault. He decided to do it in a yelling manner--complete with sound effects! His impression of my carnifex ramming a rhino made my sphincter seize up it was so bad. You can imagine how much we wanted to put a plastic bag over his head.

Everyone was so uncomfortable, but you can't tell a 10 year old boy with no father figure and no social support network to just go away. So we just ignored him. Every single inane question he asked was answered in short, concise sentences by me so that he'd be appeased.

I just about lost it when he tried to pantomime a genestealer leaping onto a marine tac squad and knocked one of my biovores off the table. It shattered into pieces and everything just stopped for a moment.

So with a sigh and a deep breath I told the little skinny guy he needed to 'KEEP AWAY FROM THE TABLE AND SIT DOWN'. I feel like I took one for the team because after I glued it back together he didn't say a word.

I've had my neighbor break about a good 25 of my models because he was "clumsy"

every time I offer to carry stuff for him he says "it's cool"

bah.....

Grunt_For_Christ wrote:I can't tell you how many awkward moments I've had. There have been some very prickish players at my FLGS. Guys who tried to say that outlfank was the same as flankmarch to get in behind the enemy and then when confronted with the ACTUAL rules begins to insult the opponent's (my good friend's) deployment.

I do think the most awkward moment for me was when a severely socially unskilled kid decided that I was going to be his father figure. For whatever reason I was the star of the shop that day as I had 3 fexes and a tyrant and a bunch of gaunts and stealers. Why that got me attention I hardly know. Maybe because it was all painted? Who knows.

But he decided to do a play by play of every single squad move, shooting/fleeting action, and assault. He decided to do it in a yelling manner--complete with sound effects! His impression of my carnifex ramming a rhino made my sphincter seize up it was so bad. You can imagine how much we wanted to put a plastic bag over his head.

Everyone was so uncomfortable, but you can't tell a 10 year old boy with no father figure and no social support network to just go away. So we just ignored him. Every single inane question he asked was answered in short, concise sentences by me so that he'd be appeased.

I just about lost it when he tried to pantomime a genestealer leaping onto a marine tac squad and knocked one of my biovores off the table. It shattered into pieces and everything just stopped for a moment.

So with a sigh and a deep breath I told the little skinny guy he needed to 'KEEP AWAY FROM THE TABLE AND SIT DOWN'. I feel like I took one for the team because after I glued it back together he didn't say a word.

"Grunt for Christ?"

Dude, you Are Christ!

I know it's a long story and I guess you really had to be there. The silence and undertones are impossible to articulate on here. You could just tell EVERYONE wanted to scream at him and just tell him to sit outside and wait for his mom to pick him up.

He's just one of those kids you want to stick a hypodermic needle full of horse tranquilizer into just so he'll calm down. I was trying to set a good example and not loose my temper like everyone else does with him. It worked, but only after a bit of 'clumsiness' as cryon so aptly put it.

By the way, I love you sig... I'm a bit of a grammar whore, I really like those quotes.

So in a local tournament i went into the final round already winning the tournament. The guy running it wanted to know if everyone wanted to continue playing so we decided to keep going. Little did i know that my last game would be against a ten year old with ADD. Oh i hate my life. So we start playing and I tell his father that I'm going to take it slow to hopefully teach him some stuff and what not. All i remember is the kid falling asleep and going to the bathroom a bunch. I didn't mind the first couple of turns because it allowed some smoke breaks while he went to the bathroom. But anyways he just always forgot to move units and i had to question him the whole time what he was going to do. I might as well been playing myself and allowed him to move his own models. At the last tournament I was playing in the last round as well I played a guy my age (23). He was running SM. So turn 1 he destroys 1 rhino and argues with me about what constitutes as being obscured. I didn't really want to call a judge over so I just gave it to him. Either way he had some horrible rolls. I'm sorry but about 4 Lascannons, 3 Plasma Cannons and two predators should take down more than 1 rhino. Well the guy sits there completely disgruntled muttering how much he hates this game and what not. When I begin my turn he begins throwing casualties onto an empty table. Horrible what makes it even worse is some were MY models. He comes to the local store and we're acquaintances. So turn to he still does nothing really except he disembarks his HQ and forgets to assault my 3 retributor squads. My following turn he takes 12 HB shots and 4 MM's to the Face and he continues on. I wanted to quit there i started getting frustrated myself and began losing track of myself weird panic attacks i guess. Now that I am forgetting my rules and movement he catches back up throughout the rest of the game and eventually wins. Cuz i'm freaking out and can't concentrate. Oh well at least the other rounds were a blast.

daygo2ilm wrote:So in a local tournament i went into the final round already winning the tournament. The guy running it wanted to know if everyone wanted to continue playing so we decided to keep going. Little did i know that my last game would be against a ten year old with ADD. Oh i hate my life. So we start playing and I tell his father that I'm going to take it slow to hopefully teach him some stuff and what not. All i remember is the kid falling asleep and going to the bathroom a bunch. I didn't mind the first couple of turns because it allowed some smoke breaks while he went to the bathroom. But anyways he just always forgot to move units and i had to question him the whole time what he was going to do. I might as well been playing myself and allowed him to move his own models. At the last tournament I was playing in the last round as well I played a guy my age (23). He was running SM. So turn 1 he destroys 1 rhino and argues with me about what constitutes as being obscured. I didn't really want to call a judge over so I just gave it to him. Either way he had some horrible rolls. I'm sorry but about 4 Lascannons, 3 Plasma Cannons and two predators should take down more than 1 rhino. Well the guy sits there completely disgruntled muttering how much he hates this game and what not. When I begin my turn he begins throwing casualties onto an empty table. Horrible what makes it even worse is some were MY models. He comes to the local store and we're acquaintances. So turn to he still does nothing really except he disembarks his HQ and forgets to assault my 3 retributor squads. My following turn he takes 12 HB shots and 4 MM's to the Face and he continues on. I wanted to quit there i started getting frustrated myself and began losing track of myself weird panic attacks i guess. Now that I am forgetting my rules and movement he catches back up throughout the rest of the game and eventually wins. Cuz i'm freaking out and can't concentrate. Oh well at least the other rounds were a blast.

Use spaces, paragraphs, and just plain old sentence separation please?

daygo2ilm, It is really hard to follow your second story.

Seconded... But I get the point.

Cryonicleech wrote:

Indeed. Where has chivalry gone to these days?

Chivalry's not dead. Just in a coma with severe internal bleeding.

no its on a Gold throne, just like the Emperor

Garuss Acine wrote:

Cryonicleech wrote:

Indeed. Where has chivalry gone to these days?

Chivalry's not dead. Just in a coma with severe internal bleeding.

no its on a Gold throne, just like the Emperor

Or like Dick Cheney for that matter...

I recall one time that we had a recruiter for the US marines show up at the local hobby store while we're playing and starts going around telling people all the things the Marines can do for them. (Insert much chuckling about drop pods and landraiders here)

Anyway, he gets to me as he's working his way around the room. Now, I'm a fairly big guy (as in above six foot and work out, not as in fat nerd) and am not the prettiest person you might meet. (Cosplay, I make a pretty good space marine Sargent.) He looks at me, and asks and what do you think the marines can do for you, son?"

"Well, I'm not sure. I've already been shot, stabbed, blown up, had a boat sunk under me, been hit by a car, a truck, and a bus, fired anti-tank guns and howitzers (WWII reenactor), marched for miles in the night with a hundred pounds of equipment, been exposed to poison gas (chlorine is nasty), fallen off a cliff, been attacked by dogs, been in a half hour long firefight (the burglers were determined and the police took forever to show up) and been resuscitated three times."

He looks at me a second, and then grins and says "Well, we can throw you out of an airplane, but other then that you've already got the basics."

I've got a fresh one, it happened yesterday actually.

I had just playtested mi ninja Tau fryday night, and wanted to play them with the guys from my gamegroup.
I went there in the mornig so i could have some time to paint later, the only one there was the local TFG, a relatevly old guy (42 i think i'm 21), who will only try to cheat if there are no witnesses, so i think by the time we set up a table the others will be here and hell play fair. True enough by the time we get started the others start arriving, and the game begins. He plays Orks kult of speed (4 trucks and a battle wagon), naturraly my missile pod heavy list helps me to beat his lightly armored trucks. He then proceeds to nag how that's not how it's played and generraly make an @$$ of himself, at which point i'm reminded of my 5 years old cousin and star laughing. He turns red an tells me to "respect my elders or get my @$$ handed to me", that coming from a guy thats like 2 thirds my size and weight, so i start staring at him with surprise but then the other dudes in the room (all of whom age 16-19) star laughing so he packs up, sais some unintellugeble words to us and leaves.

The moral of this story – laughter is the strongest weapon in the GRIMDARK universe of warhams

Edit: Danm long post, with damn typos

BaronIveagh wrote:I recall one time that we had a recruiter for the US marines show up at the local hobby store while we're playing and starts going around telling people all the things the Marines can do for them. (Insert much chuckling about drop pods and landraiders here)

Anyway, he gets to me as he's working his way around the room. Now, I'm a fairly big guy (as in above six foot and work out, not as in fat nerd) and am not the prettiest person you might meet. (Cosplay, I make a pretty good space marine Sargent.) He looks at me, and asks and what do you think the marines can do for you, son?"

"Well, I'm not sure. I've already been shot, stabbed, blown up, had a boat sunk under me, been hit by a car, a truck, and a bus, fired anti-tank guns and howitzers (WWII reenactor), marched for miles in the night with a hundred pounds of equipment, been exposed to poison gas (chlorine is nasty), fallen off a cliff, been attacked by dogs, been in a half hour long firefight (the burglers were determined and the police took forever to show up) and been resuscitated three times."

He looks at me a second, and then grins and says "Well, we can throw you out of an airplane, but other then that you've already got the basics."

That is by far the best recruitment story I have ever heard. if only every recruitment sergeant was that savvy the Marines would be a Million strong

Hmmmm.....is it coincidental that there is an army recruiting center right next door to my FLGS......Let's hope not..:p