40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

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**ChaoticMind**

You get a small pile of plastic and a note saying "Sad isn't it? So little for so much?

I insert my brain.

**snurl**

You recieve a Hive Mind.

I insert a red whippy measuring stick.

**Shadow Captain Edithae**

You get sprayed with Blood, courtesy of the Blood God.

I insert my head (still attached).

**snurl**

You receive the Crown of Command.

I insert empty sprues.

**ChaoticMind**

you receive the sprues from 1000 restic models.

I insert a random person named Fred.

**Guardsmen Bob**

You get a random person named Barney.

I pour all of my paint pots into the vending machine.

**snurl**

You get Nuln Oil.

I insert a litterbox.

**thepowerfulwill**

You get a bedpan.

I insert Barney Stinson.

**Guardsmen Bob**

You get some WhiteCastle.

I insert the 23rd hour of every day into the vending machine.

**snurl**

You get the news.

I insert nothing.

**Guardsmen Bob**

The Vending Machine rejects your nothing like so many a crinkled Dollar bills.

I insert the stuff I stole, and run away.

**Imnewherewheresthebathroom**

You get a tattoo of foghorn leghorn on your ass.

I insert my dignity.

**KnuckleWolf**

you receive a fortune cookie strip that reads: "Don't worry now, it'll be over soon."

I insert "twitch plays pokemon"

**snurl**

You get the Ultrasmurfs movie.

I insert a Rhino.

**church_ex**

You get a hungry jaguar named Philip

i insert snurl

**snurl**

You recieve a lifetime 75% discount off of GW models and games. And a fish-slap.

I insert an unreasonable RAW player.

**KnuckleWolf**

you receive a restraining order and a bonus taser

I insert a scatter dice

**bossfearless**

You receive a clear plastic large blast template.

I insert a bolter shell casing.

**snurl**

You get an empty box.

I insert a Happy Meal Toy.

**thepowerfulwill**

You receive a lego. you step on it.

I insert a fish slap. By way of jamming my arm into the machine, and slapping a fish around, then releasing the fish, and bringing my arm back out.

**Guardsmen Bob**

Your arm is now a large fish, and you proceed to slap yourself uncontrollably.

I insert snurl as well, hoping to get that discount.

**Grey Templar**

You get him back, and get fined 10% of his value. Or a nickle, which ever is less.

I insert a bucket of empty double sided tape dispensers.

**KnuckleWolf**

you receive a "That was Easy" button

I insert the wish that 40k be made a good game on a prayer strip

**snurl**

You get Warhammer Visions Magazine.

I insert some old Squats.

**Guardsmen Bob**

You get the game The Lost Vikings.

I insert $2, and expect to get some damn food this time. Seriously, what's up with this vending machine?

**Grey Templar**

You get a 30,000 year old twinkie.

I insert a bottle cap.

**snurl**

You recieve a bag O' bases.

I insert a bottle of liquid greenstuff.

**Guardsmen Bob**

You get a bottle of solid blue stuff.

Eating my twinkie, I insert another $2 to hopefully get a drink.

**thepowerfulwill**

Your crunchy twinky is joined by an ancient bottle of mountain dew.

I insert even more mountain dew.

**Guardsmen Bob**

You get a bottle of Diet Double Dew.

I insert some ork teef.