40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

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**sing your life**

You get Storm Saxon.

I insert V.

**snurl**

You get Victory!

I insert an egg.

**sing your life**

You get a sandwich.

I insert Blackstar.

**War Kitten**

You get the deathstar

I insert Azrael

**ZergSmasher**

You get Batman.

I insert the Joker.

**snurl**

You get Trump.

I insert Arkham Asylum.

**KommissarKiln**

You get the rest of the presidential candidates, both parties.

I insert a dollar bill and wonder if the vending machine ever outputs something normal, like a soda.

**sing your life**

You get a soda. Fired at your crotch.

I insert a pack of cigarettes.

**War Kitten**

You get a human lung that's been set on fire.

I insert a 5 dollar bill

**KommissarKiln**

You get 5 sodas. Fired at high velocity at your face, Adam's apple, crotch, solar plexus, and kneecap, respectively.

I insert a bottle cap.

**Wulfmar**

The machine rumbles and you receive a bottle of Nuka-Cola

I insert a pin-up poster of Adepta Sororitas Sister 'Shotgun' Murphy

**sing your life**

You get arrested for heresy.

I insert a Reaper launcher.

**Wulfmar**

You receive a well painted 28mm model of the Dark Reaper, minus the weapon

I fire off a Doom Bolt into the machine

**ZergSmasher**

A crossbow bolt flies out of the machine and hits you in the nut sack.

I insert an Angry Bird.

**sing your life**

You get North Korea.

I insert the ninth planet.

**Wulfmar**

You receive Pluto and hear a mischievous cackle

I insert my index finger

**KommissarKiln**

You receive a note saying: "Duuude, you know you're not getting that back, right?" as your finger is sucked through the machine into the unknown reaches of the Warp. But the rest of you stays put.

I insert 3 slugga Boyz and a shoota Boy.

**Wulfmar**

You receive three slugs in a shoe.

I insert the correct change

**snurl**

You get a bag of chips.

I insert a drop of oil.

**sing your life**

You get the ancient Greeks.

I insert my avatar.

**War Kitten**

You get a hairball.

I insert Snurl into the machine

**KommissarKiln**

You get a witty talking gourd.

I insert a (full) platoon of Guardsmen.

**ZergSmasher**

You get twenty mini Maglites.

I insert a very badly-painted Space Marine model.

**KommissarKiln**

You get a shameless plug to BC's newly acquired, horribly neglected SMs.
http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/330/638366.page#8418661
(see what I did there?)

I insert my residence hall room key (wait, I might need that...!)

**snurl**

You get a bag of Thieve's tools.

I insert 3D6.

**TheManWithNoPlan**

You get a blast template.

I insert a pair of silver dice.

**Torus**

You receive two Wulfen models

I insert one shell casing

**sing your life**

You get a dum dum bullet.

I insert a bottle of coca cola.

**Torus**

You receive a Santa hat.

I insert a toy figure of Kylo Ren

**Wulfmar**

You receive a toy figure of Rey

I insert £5