40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

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**snurl**

You get ZergSmasher.

I insert a Thunderhawk.

**War Kitten**

You get a giant block of resin and a massive bill

I insert a slice of cheddar cheese

**KommissarKiln**

You get a cheeky-ass grin from Jar Jar fething Binks as he/his team beats you in a 50/50 dice roll. Cheating/Force trickery was probably involved.

I insert an aced midterm.

**War Kitten**

You get a failed final exam

I insert KommissarKiln

**ZergSmasher**

You get a recently painted Ork Boy model.

I insert a Super Bowl ring.

**KommissarKiln**

You receive a football, inflated to regulation standards. ...this time.

I insert a fairly strong desk lamp.

(Jeez, guys, that's the second time you've shoved me through that machine! The... the horrors I've witnessed... They chill the soul)

**Torus**

You receive paperwork

I shove KommissarKiln back into the machine

**sing your life**

You get a laser.

I insert Oprah.

**snurl**

You get a Doppleganger!

I insert all of those unpainted Zulu miniatures.

**Torus**

You receive a red coat

I insert one Farseer on Skyrunner

**snurl**

You get a babe on a jet-ski.

I insert an old cookie from my coat pocket.

**ZergSmasher**

You get a Nurgling.

I insert snurl.

**snurl**

You get visited on the hour all night long by fish-slapping ghosts, and they mean business.

I insert a panther.

**sing your life**

You get a star.

I insert Michael Jackson.

**snurl**

You get remains and a glove.

I insert Brian Ansell

**Torus**

You receive a chilled out Andy Chambers

I insert a 3d printer

**War Kitten**

You get sued by Games Workshop for "reasons"

I insert KommisarKiln for the 4th time

**snurl**

You get a 3D printed army of KommisarKlin miniatures.

I insert Warseer.

**Torus**

You receive a broken server

I throw myself into the machine... this can't go wrong...

**snurl**

The Machine spits out Three Fifty. I scoop it up and go get coffee.

I insert an empty Coffee cup.

**War Kitten**

You get Torus.

I insert a live hand grenade

**ZergSmasher**

You get a lit cherry bomb.

I insert an unopened Dark Vengeance set.

**snurl**

You get an unopened Gorka Morka set.

I insert tomatoes.

**KommissarKiln**

You receive tomatoes (the other way or pronouncing it).

I insert Dakka's Exalt button.

**War Kitten**

You get exalted right in the face.

I insert an Orkmoticon

**ZergSmasher**

You get KaptinBadrukk.

I insert a war kitten (not the Dakka user, an actual war kitten).

**Verviedi**

You recieve an armored bear.

I insert an antimeme.

**snurl**

You get amphetamines.

I insert an MP40.

**Torus**

You receive a M1928A1

I insert a bottle of water

**sing your life**

You get an American football.

I insert Squats.