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Made in gb
Humming Great Unclean One of Nurgle






Mostly, on my phone.

Stay strong, stay safe, stay shiny, old chum.

Theophony"... and there's strippers in terminator armor and lovecraftian shenanigans afoot."
Solar_Lion: "Man this sums up your blog nicely."

Anpu-adom: "being Geek is about Love. Some love broadly. Some love deeply. And then there are people like Graven.

 
   
Made in gb
[DCM]
Gargantuan Great Squiggoth





Not where I should be

Thank you all. You are wonderful and amazing and I don't deserve you.

Spoiler:

Lets start by saying I know how pathetic this is going to sound, there are so many people in a far worse place than me.
So, started a phased return to work. Now remember I actually love my current job. Yes I could do with more cash, but that is always the case. So I am trying to get back at it. And I am really struggling, really not good. Can't get around, keep twisting funny, can't use stairs. After a few hours, I am in agony, cold sweats the lot.i am doing my physio, and trying to build myself up, but I keep stumbling.went for a walk on the beach with the family. Seriously thought about just taking a walk out to sea. Can't run with my kids, can't climb on the rocks, can't even throw stones, what the bloody hell is the point. And I am really not getting past this. To help things along, doc recons I need to change my depression meds, but I have to come down off my current max dose.
So anyway, I tried to get myself going by doing a few little jobs about the house, with help from my kids. Went looking in the ads for some slabs on the cheap for a small patio. Cool got some. Felt tired but much better doing something simple. While I was asking around for the slabs, a friend said that they were also after some. I got mine and then found an ad with some free slabs, so made arrangements and collected them for my friend. Her slabs where the standard council slabs. 3x2, weigh about 100lbs (50kg). Got lucky my boy is strong and the guy helped so I did not have to do too much lifting. I did however manage to get my fingers caught between two slabs. So now have 2 broken fingers on my right hand. Just strapped them up and got on with it.

Now like I said, I know that there are folk way worse off than me, my brother just lost his leg to diabetes. A good friend just lost their 19 year old in a car crash, a very close friend is in true hell with a pregnancy and has lost the baby. And I feel like a piece of gak, because I am whinging about being sore, and can't help them and be there for them as I should be. What kind of gakky person am I? And that makes it worse.

Thus I have not sat at my desk in 3 weeks. And that is crazy for me. I am losing it. The one small pleasure I have.

Now I need to get back on the horse. You guys help me so much, and I need you. Please bear with me.




 
   
Made in nz
Strategizing Grey Knight Chapter Master





Auckland New Zealand

If it helps, you can't judge the severity of someone else's problems with out being them and knowing how they tick.

I have a friend who had a miscarriage and we expected her to be a wreck, she surprised all of us by being so strong and pragmatic about the ordeal, went to therapy and came out the other side so much stronger.

Yet on the flip side a child hood mate lost a job after 2 weeks of working (redundancies) who spiralled into depression and was there for about a year. It was surprising as he came across as some one who had his life together and could always get a job where ever he wanted.

What is painful and difficult to you may be something small for someone else, and vice versa, a problem they struggle to deal with you could beat the snot out of.

Also bad luck on the fingers, that would have just added fire to the flame eh?

IceAngel wrote:I must say Knightley, I am very envious of your squiggle ability. I mean, if squiggles were a tactical squad, you'd be the sergeant. If squiggles were an HQ, you'd be the special character. If squiggles were a way of life, you'd be Doctor Phil...
The Cleanest Painting blog ever!
Gitsplitta wrote:I am but a pretender... you are... the father of all squiggles. .
 
   
Made in us
Near Golden Daemon Caliber





Affton, MO. USA

Spoiler:
Dude, I’m sorry to hear of all the problems, and not feel like a wuss for venting . It’s a mental version of death by a thousand paper cuts, so many little things that each of us wouldn’t be bothered by if it was only one of those happening, but when two or three happen it’s a whole other story. I can’t tell you how to come out of it because I haven’t found one, but venting when it does feel like it’s being unfair at least takes the edge off. We are here rooting for you, I remember how bad it was when I had my work accident and could barely take the stairs to our bedroom and definitely not down to my gaming space. Grab a notebook and write down or sketch out your brilliant schemes. It’ll help be a outlet for your creativity that is being bottled up in all of this. Lastly, big manly tears are always allowed luckily it’s spring here so I blame allergies .

LOL, Theo your mind is an amazing place, never change.-camkierhi 9/19/13
I cant believe theo is right.. damn. -comradepanda 9/26/13
None of the strange ideas we had about you involved your sexual orientation..........-Monkeytroll 12/10/13

I'd put you on ignore for that comment, if I could...Alpharius 2/11/14 
   
Made in ca
Dakka Veteran




Canada

Cam, I am sorry to hear this. Don't worry about the terrain it will always be there. Just get better and know that we are all thinking of you.

(60) Successful Trades With: coffinofstone (x2), Mike94656, kungfujew, LOS Not Needed, Uriels_Flame (x3), redthirst, Lehnsherr, VostroyanFirstClass (x4), midget_overlord, Timofeo, Makutsu, Eclipseone (x2), Krug001, JHall, Neomagicwarrior, Vygoth, Eldarain (x5), Green is Best!, Acardia, Exalbaru, ephrael, MadCowCrazy, pretre, kusanagi68, Theevilone, bd1085, wreeper007, Soccerlfb6, bagelboy71, Masakik, xghostmakerx, Mecha_buddha, Grimwulfe, saleen302 (2), thormar, manvas, iStompya, Farboozle, GearheadXII (x2), Spartan289, marcus.iscariat, Sannaga, Spikes, Gamerely, Catfiish, Physh, skavenmatt

YouTube channel for new batreps and other content: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheBasementCollective
Like us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TBMCV 
   
Made in us
[SWAP SHOP MOD]
Robot Cat






T-county

Don't let other people's issues make you feel like your's aren't valid as well. The best, and only, thing you should concern yourself with is your own recovery. I know that you have a big heart and it may be hard for you to sideline yourself from helping these other people you mentioned, but you are no good to them if you are hurting yourself to do so.
   
Made in us
Crushing Black Templar Crusader Pilot





Arizona

Spoiler:
Simply voicing your problems and vowing to do better are good ways to improve things. Talking about them with friends is another. You're on the right track.

A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head. - Maxim 12 - The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

Check out my painting and modeling blog here! Currently I'm working on Critical Role minis, Artel W minisl and existential dread!! 
   
Made in us
Posts with Authority





Boston-area [Watertown] Massachusetts

Cam, I'm STILL recovering from 5+ years of untreated depression.

Remember: Your brain is lying to you. And it's a jerk, 'cause it knows how to push ALL of your buttons.

You are respected, you are loved, you are skilled, you are a good father, a good husband, and a skilled worker.

It gets better. Honest.

Don't MAKE me come over there.

--Brian


Falling down is the same as being hit by a planet — "I paint to the 20 foot rule, it saves a lot of time." -- Me
ddogwood wrote:People who feel the need to cheat at Warhammer deserve pity, not anger. I mean, how pathetic does your life have to be to make you feel like you need to cheat at your toy army soldiers game?
 
   
Made in gb
Fixture of Dakka





6 foot underwater

As others have rightly said Cam, it's about YOU, not anyone else. Judging your state against someone else's is a game depression plays with you, and you will come out the other side. Switching meds is never fun, but again, you will come through it. Take your time, find your path out, try not to worry about anything else. Words themselves can't always help but they do signify our support for you mate. Take care.

cyborks & flyboyz : http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/300067.page
heretical ramblings : http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/302773.page
imperial preachings : http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/0/303365.page
Da Waaagh-ky Races : http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/325045.page
Briancj: You have the Mek Taint, MT, and the only thing we can do is watch in horror/amazement.

 
   
Made in gb
Humming Great Unclean One of Nurgle






Mostly, on my phone.

It's very hard to get out of the cycle, and tbh it never really goes away. Folk can find it hard to understand: my life's pretty good just now but I still have black moments, inexplicably. And my wife, despite having her own experiences of it, can't understand that :/ it sucks, but we're here for you. Tis the curse of the highly intelligent, alas.

Theophony"... and there's strippers in terminator armor and lovecraftian shenanigans afoot."
Solar_Lion: "Man this sums up your blog nicely."

Anpu-adom: "being Geek is about Love. Some love broadly. Some love deeply. And then there are people like Graven.

 
   
Made in us
[DCM]
Lone Wolf Sentinel Pilot






Good to hear from you, Cam! Always face the sun!

Spoiler:
Hard to hear what you're going through and not be able to help directly from this side of the pond- I can only wish you well and pray that you are given the strength to handle it and grow. It's hard to have been physically active and highly reliable to the important people around you as well as friends and acquaintances and then suffer a set-back that doesn't allow you to continue on in the same manner. I experienced a very small portion of this when I had to retire from the Army (hit mandatory age) and had to admit to myself that I really, honestly couldn't keep up with the big dogs anymore. In your case, there is the very realistic expectation that you will regain some or all of your capability and came resume much of your former activity. But even now, in your list of happenings I hear as many strengths as I do setbacks- spending time with family, starting back to work- even in a small way- helping a friend. I'm surrounded by pukes that are half my age, in perfect health, who do none of those things. And I can't tell you how much it meant hen I made my first post, and the first feedback I got was friendly, encouraging and wise (yep, that was _you_). Sometimes all we can do is tighten our chinstraps, fix bayonets and - as Kipling says- 'face to your front like a soldier'. I hope the very best for you, look forward to your omniscient and pervasive presence on DakkaDakka and if there is anything I can do to help- just holler!


Yay! I figured out how to use the spoiler thing correctly! 'Old dog' my a**!

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/05/10 22:12:10


"He fears his fate too much, or his desserts are small, who will not put it to a single touch; to win- or lose- it all."

Montrose Toast



 
   
Made in us
Combat Jumping Ragik






Beyond the Beltway

Spoiler the RL stuff? Okay.
Spoiler:
So I knew a girl in high school who fractured her femur-- a skiing accident. It took forever to heal. She spent months in various sorts of casts, and then many more months in rehab. All told, nearly a full year to recover. These sorts of injuries take forever to heal. Don't fret that you are still recovering. You will recover. It's a marathon, not a sprint.


it's going to drive the Mods nuts, y'all know, a page or so of spoilered content. I say we go for it.

Spoiler:
How say you?


This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/05/11 17:10:30


   
Made in us
Near Golden Daemon Caliber





Affton, MO. USA

Spoiler:

Hopefully that worked, haven’t tried linking from that site before.

But what Red Says is true. I had an operation when I was in second grade (7years old) and due to the doctor being drunk I almost died on the table. I still have side effects from it every spring and fall 36years later. it’s why I hate doctors....I probably shouldn’t work at a hospital . Take your time getting better the right way, if you try and force it you might reimburse yourself and it take longer. We are here waiting for your return, even if it’s with just a written concept of what you want to do.

LOL, Theo your mind is an amazing place, never change.-camkierhi 9/19/13
I cant believe theo is right.. damn. -comradepanda 9/26/13
None of the strange ideas we had about you involved your sexual orientation..........-Monkeytroll 12/10/13

I'd put you on ignore for that comment, if I could...Alpharius 2/11/14 
   
Made in ie
Sureshot Kroot Hunter





Ireland

Spoiler:

I felt pretty similar to how you're feeling about 3 years ago after I broke my right hand. Granted it didn't effect my mobility as your accident did but my entire right hand was in a cast for nigh on 6 weeks which for a man who's hobbies include PC games, assembling and painting little men, and guitar that was life changing for me. I was at home bored out of my mind for ages. Wasn't able to sleep because I couldn't stimulate myself during the day and was just lazing around the house by myself with nothing to do. Because of my accident my band missed a big BOTB competition that year which made me feel even worse, and even when I was out of the cast I barely had enough strength to use my hand for another month. All in all a terrible time. A friend of mine recently broke his shoulder and was in a similar situation so was only recently talking to him about this very topic. We both agreed that there's really nothing other people can do because you just feel and and !!! It's hard to get out of those moods but the only thing that we both agreed kept us going was that; this is only temporary, this is just a phase, just take it one day at a time.

And never worry about ranting over your own lot in life just because other people may have it worse. Each person has their own mind which is effected in different ways by the things they experience. Everyone needs their own grief so to speak

Link to my haphazardly updated blog: Boundless's sub-par conversion projects


 
   
Made in gb
Omnious Orc Shaman





A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away...

The community is here for you dude - brothers in arms (or plastic arms)

Spoiler:
I love spoilers

Spoiler:
they are lots

Spoiler:
of

Spoiler:
fun

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2018/05/11 23:13:29


   
Made in gb
Mastering Non-Metallic Metal







Yeah... Wot that lot said ^

Take it easy dude.


The army- ~2295 points (built).

* -=]_,=-eague Spruemeister General. * A (sprue) Hut tutorial *
Dsteingass - Dr. H..You are a role model for Internet Morality! // inmygravenimage - Dr H is a model to us all
Theophony - Sprue for the spruemeister, plastic for his plastic throne! // Shasolenzabi - Toilets, more complex than folks take time to think about!  
   
Made in us
Mekboy Hammerin' Somethin'





USA

I've already sent you a PM, Cam, but getting in on the spoiler shenanigans looks fun.

Spoiler:
Cam, you are an incredible person, and an inspiration to us all. I hope things start getting better soon.

   
Made in gb
[DCM]
Gargantuan Great Squiggoth





Not where I should be

In reply to Syro's beautiful PM....
Spoiler:

Thank you so much for the words, honestly you have no idea how much they mean to me.

I love Dakka and it is a real place of happiness for me in a world of pain. People like you make it special. People like you keep me going. Not just with silly toy soldiers, I mean with life. I cannot express what it means to me, when someone wonderful like you says something as simple as I can make you happy or inspired. I suffer pretty badly with depression. I honestly do not see myself as worth anything, and not much good to anyone. Reality is I am doing ok ish, I have a wonderful marriage 3 wonderful kids. I love my job. My problem is I don't necessarily see it, and life keeps hammering blows into me. To quote the eternal Rocky " It ain't how hard you can hit, it's how hard you can be hit and keep going!" This is a mantra I use. But there are times I really struggle with it. I can never get a break, I can never get out the bit. Life will not let me have a good roll.

But I try my best to make everyone else happy, to inspire people, to help everyone I can. Not for any selfish silly reason, but because I honestly believe it is what we should do. There is enough bad in the world without us creating any more. If we could all just try a little good, what could we not achieve.

And so, people like you keep me going, give me a genuine reason to live and move forward and try and get on with it. If you take away the opportunity for me to help others, I would truly end it.

I know it is only toy soldiers here, but it is so much more. It is creativity, an outlet of our feelings and thoughts, a display of art, in a pretty dull world. And also a joining of kindred spirits.


Thank you Dakka Dakka. Trying honest.




 
   
Made in us
Rogue Inquisitor with Xenos Bodyguards





Eastern edge

Understood Cam, I suffer some similar issues

"Your mumblings are awakening the sleeping Dragon, be wary when meddling the affairs of Dragons, for thou art tasty and go good with either ketchup or chocolate. "
Dragons fear nothing, if it acts up, we breath magic fire that turns them into marshmallow peeps. We leaguers only cry rivets!



 
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






Madison, WI

Cam, you are obviously held in high esteem here. We value you, we are inspired by you and we look forward to your next bit of brilliance. You're one of us. That, nothing can take away from you.

   
Made in au
Longtime Dakkanaut





Australia

Sorry folks, but I just can't do the spoiler thing. I have always been encouraged by my parents (rest my dads soul) to not keep things bottled up or be concerned with sharing, in that I am completely opposed by my wife who was raised to be very reserved and private.

So I say shout it from the rooftops if it helps, share it with the creepy guy at the back of the bus, the nun walking the poodle, whoever will and can listen if that is your road to recovery.

Red said it well (as others have too) that this is your life, it is the most important thing to you, so do not be concerned with the goings on of others as the only gauge you have is how you yourself are going and that is perfectly ok.

The community here is strong and supportive and happy to listen to hobby or real life drama (mods willing), you are a valued and celebrated part of the community so we are all ears, all hours of the day.

See My Crazy Army plan here: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/0/521618.page#5517409
See the Fluff of my Crazy Army plan here: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/537440.page

2000 Point Armies
[40k] Murdochs 5th Armoured Detachment, 34/87th Tullarium Armour; Taskforce of the Garrsak Clan Company; Grimskragas Razorfangs, Guiding Light of Yarn Le'ath; Hive Fleet Acidica; XII Ambush Cell, Loyalists of the Twin Primarchs;

[Warhammer] The Obsidian Knightly Order; The Wondrous Caravan of the Traveller and his Maneaters; Bronze Host of Ka-Sabar; Dragonriders of Caledor; Vain Quest for the Grail, 11th Crusade of Araby; The Throng of Kark Veng; 
   
Made in be
Liberated Grot Land Raida






Belgium

Gonna go with Archer on this one. Kudos vor the bravery to be open about it Cam, and though we'r emiels away, feel free to talk/post/PM about it if you feel the need.

And for the record: you makes us all happy, I'd say. With your modelling, which is always top-notch, but also by the trust you put in us. Makes you a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for!

A Squeaky Waaagh!!

Camkhieri: "And another very cool thing, my phones predictive text actually gave me chicken as an option after typing robot, how cool is that."'

Meercat: "All eyes turned to the horizon and beheld, in lonely and menacing grandeur, the silhouette of a single Grot robot chicken; a portent of evil days to come."
From 'The Plucking of Gindoo Phlem' 
   
Made in gb
Bloodthirsty Bloodletter




Soviet UK

Talk to people anyone, your doing the right thing you are making people happy looking at your work, your work inspires me to make poor imitations, don't worry about your kids you will always be dad to them even if lifting a paving slab is hard.
Don't walk into the sea a lot of British beaches are polluted and you might just get a sanitary towel in the mouth euch.....

Problems are problems and cannot be compared to other people's issues as it all relative.

Stay strong this is a bad spell but life moves on and will improve.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/05/15 22:07:38


For mother Soviet scotland oh and I like orcs  
   
Made in us
Stealthy Warhound Titan Princeps







Forward Unto Dawn!




Automatically Appended Next Post:
Spoiler:
My theory is that you should never feel bad about how you feel, either. Sure, most people today live like kings compared to most of humanity through most of history. So what? Are we supposed to walk around delirious with joy all the time? Human nature isn't that way. I think all you can control is your actions not your feelings. If you're doing the PT, then you're doing what can be done, end of story. My family has people of all sorts of views from all walks of life, and we all consider art or creativity of some kind a basic human need. You're an artist - it is something you need to do and you'll be the better for it the sooner you can make the time.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/05/16 10:35:28


 
   
Made in us
Posts with Authority





Boston-area [Watertown] Massachusetts

Go, Cam, GO!

Go, Cam, GO!

Go, Cam, GO!

Falling down is the same as being hit by a planet — "I paint to the 20 foot rule, it saves a lot of time." -- Me
ddogwood wrote:People who feel the need to cheat at Warhammer deserve pity, not anger. I mean, how pathetic does your life have to be to make you feel like you need to cheat at your toy army soldiers game?
 
   
Made in us
Dakka Veteran




Wisconsin

I feel for you Cam, there are several people that are close to me that have the same problem. Keep pressing onwards and look at all the good things you have, and contributed to, not only us here but your family and friends as well.
   
Made in gb
Mysterious Techpriest






feth.
What is it with life screwing over the nice people? I swear i'm getting sympathy pains over here!

I can't give any good news on replacement parts for your hand dude - mechantendrils are really unsophisticated currently and we just don't have the STC for properly integrated bonics here on Terra.

This truly is the 'Age of Strife' beginning, the jinxing of Forgeworld Camkierhi tolls the bell of portent for us all.

Guard your Forge-Fanes well, fellow Adepts for we look into the maelstrom of destiny this day and beseech the God Emperor of Mankind, The Omnissiah - Deliver Cam' from harm and unto succour!


Myself and all my friends send their respect and good-wishes to be bestowed upon you and your house.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-px27tzAtVwZpZ4ljopV2w "ashtrays and teacups do not count as cover"
"jack of all trades, master of none; certainly better than a master of one"
The Ordo Reductor - the guy's who make wonderful things like the Landraider Achillies, but can't use them in battle..  
   
Made in gb
[DCM]
Gargantuan Great Squiggoth





Not where I should be

Thank you all.I am listening. I am trying.

Pictures tomorrow promise.I have done bugger all, but made a couple note worthy finds and better get some pics in for the comp.

My beloved friends I will never be able to express how much you mean to me. And your support is beyond words.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Not so much the good the bad and the ugly, as the ugly and the good.

This is my current work zone.....


The good bit is I have these nice shelves to start filling.....


Starting in on this today, work later but I am up and feel the urge....wish me luck.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/05/21 08:53:23





 
   
Made in gb
[DCM]
Gargantuan Great Squiggoth





Not where I should be

Well the urge came and went, but I did get a few pics.....

First up Pics for LoER entry, TBH this is not finished, but I am out of time on the comp, so this will have to do...


(Sorry, big pic dump so spoilered)
Spoiler:













Can be made up in different configurations..



Couple scale shots....yes there is a guardsman there somewhere....



And a few silly...







Here is some terrain that will go with it to Twinner.
Still WIP


And lastly, a little something I picked up at the car boot sale...



Making me rethink the big guy....


Thank you all so much for being here, and thank you for looking in, as always critique is welcome.






 
   
Made in be
Liberated Grot Land Raida






Belgium

Those inside shots look so realistic... Excellent work as always Cam! Are you going for a more advanced look on your locomotive? What exactly are you rethinking?

A Squeaky Waaagh!!

Camkhieri: "And another very cool thing, my phones predictive text actually gave me chicken as an option after typing robot, how cool is that."'

Meercat: "All eyes turned to the horizon and beheld, in lonely and menacing grandeur, the silhouette of a single Grot robot chicken; a portent of evil days to come."
From 'The Plucking of Gindoo Phlem' 
   
 
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