40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

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**ZergSmasher**

You get a really expensive but worthless on the TT model.

I insert an Eldar Farseer.

**snurl**

You get a nearsighted elder.

I insert the Necronomicon.

**korbenn**

You get the dairy of Nagash, Supreme Lord of the Undead.

I insert a tasty treat.

**thepowerfulwill**

A ripper pops out of the machine and eats it before you can properly insert it. However the machine still gives you an empty candy bar wrapper.

I insert a 3.5 edition CSM codex

**ZergSmasher**

You get the 7th edition Eldar Craftworlds codex, together with a block of old limburger cheese.

I insert a Perfidious Relic of the Unforgiven.

**snurl**

You get empty .44 cartridges.

I insert the last shred of my sanity.

**War Kitten**

You get a Death Jester, who then promptly laughs at you

I insert a bottle of Vodka (whipped cream flavor)

**ZergSmasher**

You get a copy of the album "Whipped Cream and Other Delights" by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.

I insert a trumpet.

**korbenn**

You get an Uncello and a manual on how to play it.

I insert a bottle of screencleaner and a micro-fiber cloth.

**snurl**

You get a can of Pledge.

I insert a Big Mac.

**korbenn**

You get a Whopper.

I insert about 20mg of dark matter, a kilo of Adamantium and an ingot of Octiron. I set the vending machine to very fine.

**ZergSmasher**

You get a cup of espresso that tasted really bad and glows in the dark.

I insert a kilo of unobtainium.

**Stormrider**

You receive a basket of Avatar Action Figures that are mad at you

I insert an angry dwarf that has a penchant for drinking and talking about debt management

**korbenn**

You get a dwarf who only talks about gold.

I insert the classiest porno ever made.

**snurl**

You get 404: File not found.

I insert clear nail polish.

**korbenn**

You get a ruined Forge world miniature.

I insert the stack of assemble instructions from all the model kits I own.

**snurl**

You get a crash course in Japanese.

I insert joke exploding birthday candles.

**korbenn**

You get a cake with a Slaaneshi stripper inside.

I insert the Lego Millennium falcon kit.

**thepowerfulwill**

You get a Megablocks USS Enterprise

I insert Rick.

**snurl**

You get Grime.

I insert Daryl.

**korbenn**

You get a copy of the 1985 movie D.A.R.Y.L. on VHS in a bigbox.

I insert all of my HATE!

**snurl**

You get a chill pill.

I insert a Shamrock Shake.

**korbenn**

You get a Mac D.L.T.

I insert that old box of used needles from behind the dumpster.

**Fervor**

You receive hepatitis C!

I insert Tutankhamun's death mask.

**ZergSmasher**

You get a Harlequin Solitaire's mask.

I insert a Start Collecting! Tau Empire box.

**korbenn**

You get a Pulse rifle shaped figure case.

I insert a dreamforge leviathan boxset

**War Kitten**

You get a Kraken

I insert a Hemophobic Khorne Berzerker

**snurl**

You get a pint of plasma.

I insert a bic pen.

**Torus**

You get an apple with an arrow in it.

I insert snurl...

**korbenn**

You get a small, but well painted gallery.

I insert a collection of the works of former British comedian Richard Michael "Rik" Mayall