40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

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**snurl**

You get a Mountain Dew.

I insert Sand Pebbles.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get Silicone Valley.

I insert a welding rig.

**snurl**

You get a Soldiering Iron.

I insert a Bluetooth Mouse.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a raccoon with gingivitis.

I insert a TV.

**ZergSmasher**

You get Hillary Clinton.

I insert a Genestealer.

**snurl**

You still get Hillary Clinton. And your silverware is gone.

I insert a foul mood.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a sunny disposition.

I insert a folding chair.

**snurl**

You get an orgami Land Raider.

I insert a chain link fence.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get low-budget border security.

I insert a pair of clown shoes.

**ZergSmasher**

You get an Eldar Harlequin's boots.

I insert a Kroot.

**snurl**

You get an Owlbear.

I insert old coins.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get 50 electrum pieces, 75 copper pieces, 32 gold pieces, and the Sword of Kas.

I insert a Frankenstein DVD.

**snurl**

You receive an abnormal brain.

I insert the soil of my homeland.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You gum up the machine and it breaks down. Quit doing that. Then you get a repairman who fixes the machine.

Afterwards, I insert a carpetbag.

**snurl**

You get a yankee.

I insert my neighbor's Trump sign.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get negative press.

I insert an Atari 2600 game console.

**ZergSmasher**

You get Pong.

I insert Hillary Clinton's email server.

**snurl**

You get hacked.

I insert Romulan Ale.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get prune juice. ('It is a warrior's drink.' - Worf)

I insert a riding lawnmower.

**snurl**

You get a goat.

I insert kleenex.

**ZergSmasher**

You get a Nurgling.

I insert a Space Marine Centurion Devastator.

**SNAAAAKE**

You get Mild Cheddar Cheese.

I insert a LEGO effigy of the Emperor on the golden throne.

**snurl**

You get burned for Heresy.

I insert rasins.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get Raisenettes.

I insert a saddle.

**snurl**

You get a folding chair.

I insert fresh fish.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a slap.

I insert a Gibson Les Paul.

**snurl**

You get a pick.

I insert clown shoes.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a tiny car packed with friends.

I insert a can of spray paint.

**ZergSmasher**

You get a citation for defacing government property.

I insert a creepy clown.

**snurl**

You get a fish slap.

I insert a newspaper.