40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

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**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get an instant classic.

I insert 1979 Trans Am.

**snurl**

You get the bird.

I insert yellow scars.

**korbenn**

You get Nugles Rot.

I insert a tankard of liquid CHAOS.

**KommissarKiln**

You get an invitation to an EXTRA HERETICAL frat party. They really like your booze and want the recipe. They may also have attempted to overthrow local government, but the hangovers were so bad they can't quite remember.

I insert a sketch of an Ork conversion: mounted on a lizardman Cold One counts as Warbiker. Orks riding dinosaurs, what could go wrong?

**korbenn**

You get a rule sheet for the unit you just inserted a sketch of. The rules are fine but the point per model cost is quite high.

I insert perfect forgery of Rembrant's Nightwatch.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a visit from INTERPOL.

I insert a giant squid.

**korbenn**

You get CGI Davy Jones.

I insert a creepy air-raid siren on a pole that somehow was the only intact thing in a barren blasted wasteland.

**snurl**

You get a recorded message.

I insert a wild bikini.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a Katy Perry video.

I insert a cobra.

**korbenn**

You get Sylvester Stallone in the hight of his career.

I insert plot twist to Zardoz

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a happy ending.

I insert Sean Connery's infamous red diaper.

**korbenn**

You Sean Connery's makeup job to make him look Japanese from You Only Live Twice.

I insert Oddjob from Goldfinger, Nick Nack from The Man with the Golden Gun and Jaws from Moonraker. I also equip them with matching tuxedo's.

**jhe90**

You get a man Ina. Rather dangerous hat, 3 feet tall and built like a space marine in q solid gold tuxedo.

I put in a cadian model, a sly marbo bust sculpture and a space marine codex in all placed in a stuffed catchan barking toad.

**korbenn**

You get a wonderous conversion that looks like a standard trooper, with the destructive properties of Rambo, the stealth capabilities of Solid Snake. All dressed in powerarmor with a toad familiar. And all completly tournament legal.

I insert three complete miniature lines. The first is from Crooked Dice's 7TV game, the second is from Anvil Industries Afterlife game and the third and final one is Rackham's Confrontation.
I then get an Ork Deff Dredd to pick up and shake the machine like a dice cup. I get a sorcerer of Tzeench to cast a spell on the machine. Finaly a Squat rune smith will inscribe the machine with blessings from the forge.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get 8th edition.

I insert a big green tractor.

**ZergSmasher**

You get a Jeff Foxworthy redneck joke book.

I insert a Sister of Silence.

**snurl**

You get a habit.

I insert the cast of Skull Island.

**korbenn**

You get the cast of King Dong.

I insert the Laws of Thermo-Dynamics and the Laws of Quantum Physics.

**ZergSmasher**

You get Sheldon Cooper.

I insert the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

**korbenn**

You get a towel and a sandwich made with perfectly ordinary beast meat.

I insert a crate of FG-42 paratrooper rifles.

**snurl**

You get a box of squirt guns.

I insert register receipts.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get an audit.

I insert a bowl of gummy bears.

**korbenn**

You get a bowl of gummy squigs "n" rippers. They taste like shrimp and mushrooms.

I insert a Imperial standard issue nr34 protien bar. Cardboard and dust flavoured in standard unappetizing grey-ish brown.

**snurl**

You get a Twinkie.

I insert dried up GW paint.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a pot of liquid green stuff.

I insert a horseshoe.

**korbenn**

You get a magical horse. By magical I mean you never have to feed it yet it still produces manure.

I insert the timemachine from Back to the Future.

**snurl**

You get an antique car.

I insert concert tickets.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a concert shirt.

I insert a 50 watt fender bassman amplifier head.

**ZergSmasher**

You get a Noise Marine.

I insert a grav gun.

**korbenn**

You get a Portal gun.

I insert a 0-point energy manipulator.